Barbara Anderson was busy giving her children plates laden with sandwich meats, chow-chow and salad when she overheard Emma, her younger sister. The news hit her with the force of a huge wave, making her feel as though her limbs were moving through water.
“Ja, I was approved for weight loss surgery. It’s scheduled for a little less than three weeks from today.”
Barbara’s head whipped around, causing a muscle in the back of her neck to twinge. Looking at Emma, she saw Jacob standing behind her with a wide grin taking over half his face. “Here. Just eat everything on your plates.” With difficulty, Barbara turned on the bench, and then massaged a hand over the sore muscle in the back of her neck. “Emma, what are you saying about surgery? Is it for your knee?” She had chosen to play dumb.
“Nee, sister. The doctors and elders all approved me for weight loss surgery. I’ll have it two weeks from this coming Friday.” Emma patiently repeated her news, even though she knew her sister had heard everything she had said. "I have to eat a liquid diet in advance of the surgery, but the doctor gave me two weeks of meal replacement shakes, and at least I can have soup broth, and one serving of lean meat or vegetables daily, if I eat slowly."
Barbara wasn’t sure how to react. She knew she hated the idea of Emma losing weight. "That sounds like a lot. Do you think you'll have the discipline to—" She hesitated when she saw Jacob glaring at her over Emma’s shoulder. “I mean, oh, well, I’m, I’m, uh, I’m proud of you. You’re doing something you’ve wanted to do for a very long time.” Her tone of voice was markedly unenthusiastic.
Jacob’s eyebrow cocked up as he stared at Barbara. His expression seemed to say, “You underwhelmed us with your enthusiasm.”
Finally, the long social came to an end for Barbara. Eagerly gathering up her dishes, she hurried the kinder to their buggy. “Hurry. Dat needs to feed the horses.”
Ben looked at his wife with confusion. “Wife, it’s nowhere near time for them to be fed. You just want to get out of here for some odd reason.”
“Let’s just go, husband. Now!” Struggling to increase her speed on short, plump legs, Barbara tried to move toward their buggy as fast as she could. By the time she got there, she was panting, and even though the day was verging on cold, a fine sheen of sweat had broken out on her face. “Kinder, get in the buggy. Now!” Barbara wanted to be at home, in private, where she could hopefully let her anger and frustration loose.
When they got home, Annie whined, “I don’t feel gut,” before she upchucked all over the back seat of the buggy.
“Eww, she chucked up! Mam, get me out of here!” Michael screamed just before he began gagging. Ben, moving as fast as he could, tried to get Michael out of the back seat, but to no avail—he vomited all over the front of Ben’s clean shirt and black jacket.
That left Jeb who, at four, was still highly sensitive to events like this. Seeing his older siblings gagging and vomiting, he did so as well, dirtying Barbara’s favorite purple dress and black apron.
“Ben! Let’s get the kinder inside and cleaned up! Now!” Barbara’s voice was shrill with frustration and anger.
Ben didn’t handle bodily fluids very well. Seeing and smelling what was on his clothing quickly had him gagging. He spun around and lost his lunch, too.
Barbara, hearing her husband vomiting, growled as she motioned to the three sick youngsters. “Come! Now! Clean up and get in your beds.” After getting the three feverish children out of their clothing and in bed with three buckets nearby, Barbara finally had time to remove her soiled clothing. As she unpinned the clothing, she felt her own stomach roiling. Holding her unpinned dress securely closed, she scurried to the bathroom, where she also lost her lunch. After half an hour, all members of the Anderson family were in bed, feeling feverish and nauseated. Groaning, Barbara would roll out of bed to assist her kinder when they got sick. All of this left her very little time to ponder and reflect on the news Emma had given to everyone. She was on her slow way back to the bedroom she shared with Ben when she heard a solid knock on the front door. “Oh, just go away!” Despite her rude words, Barbara went downstairs.
Seeing her father, she said through the screen, “Dat, we’re sick. All of us. I don’t want to make you, Mam or Emma sick, so we’ll have to visit another day.”
“Oh, well, let me know if you need anything. I hope you’ll all return to health fast.” John Lapp left, worried about his family. “Wife, have you heard about a bug going around? Barbara just said she and the whole family are sick.”
“Nee, there’s nothing going around. I wonder if they ate something bad.”
“I hope not, because others ate the same thing.”
“Well, we’re likely to hear news if that’s true. I’ll take some hot tea and chicken soup to them later on. The kinder should keep their strength up.”
***
At the Lapp home, Emma stopped working on her therapy exercises when John and Ann came home. “You just went to visit Barbara! What happened?”
“She turned us away. Said she, Ben and the kinder were all sick.”
“Oh. Well, that was fast. They all... wait, Annie looked a bit pale, now that I think about it.” She continued to practice her exercises, wanting to make progress before her surgery in two weeks.
***
Less than two weeks later, Emma sat in the back of the driver’s car, along with her mam. Her dat sat in the front seat.
“Are you excited?” John turned, looking at Emma.
“Ja, I am! Nervous, too. I’ll have surgery tomorrow morning. I am so sick of those meal shakes, but it's worth it. I'm already skinnier in my clothes and I haven't even had the surgery yet!”
"Maybe. I see this, daughter, you've made such wunderbar progress. Maybe you can lose the rest without this surgery? You're having such success."
The thought had crossed Emma's mind as well, but she'd tried so hard on her own and only failed and failed. She was only having success now under a doctor's guidance, and with a clear destination in mind. Besides, she needed to lose weight quickly or else she'd face even worse surgery on her knees. "I need this procedure, dat. It's the only way."
John nodded. “I understand, daughter. Is Jacob going to go visit you later on?”
“Ja, he said he had a late-afternoon appointment and he wanted to clean up before going to the hospital. I’ll visit with him for a little while before visiting hours are over.”
“Hmm. Maybe he can give us a ride home after.”
“Ja, if you’re still here when he gets to the hospital, why not ask?” Emma was nervous—she jiggled her good leg up and down. Looking outside the car’s window, she tried to calm herself by focusing on the flowering trees beginning to bud—it had snowed earlier in the day, and then warmed up. “Mam, if it snows when I get home from the hospital, I’m going to have to stay inside until the snow melts and dries up. I don’t want to hurt myself again.”
“I know.” Ann was watching the scene outside as an English man raced across the street against traffic. Seeing him hit a patch of ice-slicked pavement and land on his back, she inhaled. “Ooh! That must have hurt! At least people are going to his aid.”
***
That night, in her hospital room, Emma finished her meal shake with determination, thinking fondly of the savory smells of her mam's meatloaf as her stomach growled. There had been a vending machine in the lobby of her floor of the hospital. No! She wouldn't give in. She could do this. She had to do this. She looked up as her parents, Abby and her husband Zeke, and Jacob all walked into her room. “You’re here!”
“Mmm, what flavor was supper tonight?” Jacob waved a hand at her empty can of meal replacement shake.
“Strawberry with no caffeine tea,” Emma said with a wry grin. "It was delicious."
“I wish they'd let you have something more substantial, daughter. You need your strength.”
“The doctors know what they are doing," Emma said. "Besides, I can’t eat anything from eight tonight anyway.”
Jacob stood at her bedside, and in a gesture that was at odds with their reserved Amish culture, gave her a squeeze on her shoulder. "You have great strength, Emma."
Emma's eyes welled up. She swallowed, blinking back tears. "Denki."
When the nurse came in an hour later, Emma was disappointed that everyone had to leave. “One minute, please, Betsy. Mam, why didn’t Barbara come? She and the kinder are all well now, right?”
“Ja, they are. We told her and she said she would think about coming.”
“I’ll join you in a minute. I just want to say something to Emma before we leave.” Jacob waved everyone out the door. Turning back to Emma, he took her hand in his. “You’ll do well tomorrow. You’re starting a new chapter, a healthier way of life tomorrow.”
Emma squeezed his hand. “I know! I am so excited—nervous, too.”
“Uh, I made sure to reschedule my appointments tomorrow. I’ll be spreading them out over the next few days. I want to be here when you get out of surgery and wake up.”
“Jacob, you don’t have to do that!”
“I want to.” Turning, he gave a charming smile to the nurse. “In just a few seconds, please.” Then, he pressed a soft kiss on Emma’s lips. “Remember, a new life starts for both of us tomorrow. And this is what I want in that new life.”
Emma closed her eyes, enjoying the sensation of Jacob’s wind-chapped lips against hers. “I’ll keep that in mind...and in my heart.”
***
The next morning came very quickly for Emma. Seeing her family and Jacob and his parents lined up in the hall, she waved as she passed by on the gurney. The doctors had given her a tranquilizer tablet an hour ago, but still she breathed in and out, willing her heart to slow its mad pounding.
“Slow down, Emma. This is a big step for you, but we need to get your heart rate down. Breathe in and out a few times. Visualize your favorite scene, one that helps you calm your spirit.” The nurse was a new one, clad in surgical scrubs and a snug, blue cap. Looking down at Emma, she gave her a gentle smile. “I know surgery’s a big step. You’re going to begin getting so much healthier. Focus on that, okay?”
Emma nodded, her eyes closed as she kept her visualization in her mind—the big field in the back of their house, when it was covered with mounds of snow. She reveled in the quiet that ensued after snow had fallen. Her breathing slowed down and she felt her heart rate beginning to go back down.
“Excellent. Keep that thought in mind, because you’re doing great.”
That snowy image lasted until Emma was rolled into the surgical suite. Panicking, she felt her heart rate picking back up.
“Okay, Miss Emma, I’m Doctor Smith, your anesthesiologist. Look in my eyes.”
Emma did so, trying to regulate her breathing again.
“Okay, in through the nose and out through the mouth. Keep looking at me.”
Emma did everything Dr. Smith said. Keeping her eyes open, she focused once again on the snowy field. She was out in that field, walking through deep, pillow-like snow. It was so quiet! Not even the sounds of the horses came through.
“Good for you. Just keep that mental image in mind and keep breathing as I just told you. We’re connecting you to the machinery, that’s all.” After a few minutes, the doctor appeared, standing at Emma’s head.
Looking up, she smiled because his face was upside down.
“Hello! We’ve just put some calming medication into your I.V. You’re going to start feeling pretty relaxed...ah, you feel it already, don’t you?”
Emma felt as though she were floating. Her smile was dreamy.
“I’m going to put a clear mask over your mouth and nose. Just breathe normally and, in your mind, count backward from one hundred.”
Emma felt the mask cover her face. One hundred. Ninety-nine. Ninety-eight. Ninety-six. Nee! Ninety-sev...
“Emma. Emma? Come on, hon, wake up. You’re out of surgery and in the recovery room now.”
Rousing slowly, Emma forced her eyes to open. She saw the doctor leaning over her. “I’m done? This fast? I just went to sleep!”
The doctor smiled. “No, you went to sleep some three hours ago. We operated and re-sectioned your stomach. Now, you’re in recovery. You’ll be here for a few days so we can observe your condition. You’ll have some pain—probably not as much as you had with your knee. You will eat only liquid or pureed food for 2 to 3 weeks after your surgery, and then we'll slowly be able to bring back in soft, solid foods."
"More shakes." Emma sighed, then forced a smile. "It's just—I'm grateful for everything." She swallowed. Her throat felt dry and it hurt. "Denki."
The doctor put his hand over hers. "You're doing fine. This is tough, and it's going to be tough for a bit longer, but you can and will do this. I have the best hopes for you to have a bright future. Now your parents are here, and your boyfriend is waiting just outside and he’ll be in here in just a minute. Not too long. You need to rest.”
Emma nodded. She swallowed and grimaced, trying to will the pain away. Maybe it would have been better for Jacob not to be here, while she was looking such a mess. But if he loved her, and she loved him, they had to know each other at their worst as well as their best.
Soon, her parents were standing by her side.
“Is it okay if she drinks water?” Ann asked.
“In a while. She just woke up.” The nurse nodded and gave Emma an ice chip. “Suck on this and swallow the water. It’ll help your throat.”
Emma nodded, gratefully sucking on the small cube.
“How do you feel?”
“Sore. Throat.”
“How about your stomach?” Ann was worried.
“Nee.” Emma’s voice was scratchy. “Doesn’t hurt—yet.” She tried to smile as Jacob showed up at her bedside.
“We keep meeting while you’re in the hospital. Just keep sucking on that ice. Do everything you’re told and you’ll be home before long.”
Emma’s parents and Jacob left soon after—Emma was so sleepy she couldn’t follow conversations. When she woke up next, she was in a semi-private room, feeling more alert. While her throat was still tender, she didn’t feel as much pain as earlier. She looked up as a male nurse came into the room.
“Miss Lapp, would you like to try and drink some apple juice? Then, you’ll have some chicken broth for dinner.”
Not even a shake? “Is that all?” Emma barely remembered to sip the juice instead of gulping it down.
“Yes, that’ll be all for tonight. That doesn’t sound like it would satisfy a redbird, but believe me, now that your stomach is so much smaller, you’ll get full faster.”
Emma was doubtful. She remembered the nights when she could easily and joyfully eat at least one full plate of her mother’s food. “So, you mean, eating a full plate of food won’t happen again?”
“No. To start, you'll be full in a few bites. Eventually, you'll be eating about a quarter at a sitting as you used to, spread over six meals every day. It's a challenge at first. If you try to eat the quantities you used to eat, you’ll become violently sick. And that’s no fun. By the way, my name’s Kent. I’ll be your nurse until eleven tonight. Just let me know if you need anything.”
Emma flushed. “Uh, there is one thing. Can I get a female nurse if I need to use the bathroom?”
“Sure! I’ll get one of them for you. Do you need to use the restroom now?”
Emma grew even redder. “Nee, not right now. I just wanted to check.”
“Okay, just hit that button and I’ll show up.”