“What? Barbara! Are you joking? Emma is the least likely young woman to ever try and tempt a married man from his vows! She is still gaining a confidence she has never before had! I am going to sit over there before I say something I’ll regret. You stay here until they come out, then we’ll go home. You need to let Ben know where you’ve been, anyway.”
Ann rose quickly and moved to the bench Emma and Jacob had just vacated. Unable to calm down, she rose again and moved to the long bank of windows. Willing to bear the cold seeping in, she wrapped her coat around herself and looked outside at the busyness of the city and hospital parking lot. Closing her eyes, she breathed in and out deeply, praying that Barbara wouldn’t approach her right now. Feeling a warm hand on her shoulder, she jumped, ready to castigate the owner of the hand. Seeing that it was Emma, she calmed down. “Are you ready?”
“Ja. He’s awake. He says he’s feeling a bit better now.”
“Thank Gott. We’d better go. Ben and the kinder must be worried. We also need to let Abby and Zeke know what happened so they can come visit him.”
“Ja. We’d better go.” Turning to Jacob and ignoring Barbara’s presence, Emma led them out to the parking lot.
After figuring out that there was room for all four of them on the wagon’s bench, Jacob had Emma sit next to him, with Ann on his other side. Barbara occupied the other far end of the bench, farthest away from Emma. The ride home was quiet and filled with tension.
“Emma? I’d like to ask for your—”
“You’re forgiven. But I am still nowhere near over my anger for you. I do not want to talk to you at all. Now stop speaking to me.” Emma’s voice bore a new, steely note, one that surprised Barbara.
Maybe Emma truly was becoming prideful. Barbara knew the feeling well enough. She didn't like being on the other side of it.
***
Several days passed. After recovering in the hospital for a few days, John was released with orders to continue with his healthy diet. He also had a prescription for a cholesterol medication.
Emma continued working on her recovery, exercising her leg and beginning to walk more confidently. Three weeks after John’s heart attack, she was cleared to return to work. Working with her therapist, she devised a safe way of climbing into her buggy so she could get to work. “Mam, I’ve arranged with Elizabeth that I’ll go back to work next Monday. Will you and Dat be able to get along without me?”
“Ja, I think so, daughter. Abby will be here with her kinder, helping me with him.”
Emma hated bringing her up, but had to just so she knew what to expect. “And...what about Barbara?”
“She knows that, other than family dinners, we really can’t handle having her around right now. Your dat needs calm, and her presence gives us anything but that. Until she understands just how she hurt you and the rest of our family, she won’t be able to give your dat the calm he requires.”
Emma was stunned. Moving from the living room to the kitchen, she began chopping vegetables and preparing meat for supper. “Mam! Are you serious? You told her that other than family gatherings she can’t be around?”
“Ja. Emma, I am so sorry. I need to ask your forgiveness. If I had seen just what kind of attitude she had toward you, I could have helped the both of you long ago. Is it getting better with people here?”
“Ja, for the most part. Elizabeth has done a lot to point out to people that they believed in a lie. There are still a few who believe in Barbara’s lies. But I’m avoiding them. Until they can see what the truth is, I don’t need to feel their condemnation.”
Ann smiled as she stirred the potatoes boiling on the stove. “You are so strong, daughter. All that you’ve experienced since you broke your leg has brought that out to me.”
“And to me, daughter.” John came into the house, finished with taking care of the livestock. Clasping Emma’s shoulders, he looked at her. “I’m sure you didn’t like going through everything you went through, but I’m sure that it’s made you a much stronger woman.”
“Denki, Dat. Have you decided who you’re hiring to help with the farm?”
“Ja, I have: two young men who are not yet in their running-around times. They know what I need to have done, and they are willing to do the work. I’ll be paying them a fair wage, which they’ll use to help their families.”
“Gut! Who are they?”
“Joshua Gruber and Tom Yoder, Zeke’s youngest brother. They start Monday.”
Emma turned at a familiar knock on the door. “Jacob!” Grabbing a dishcloth, she wiped her hands and walked carefully to the front door. “Come in!”
“I’m glad to hear your news, John! If it doesn’t snow this weekend, they’ll be able to help you with preparations for planting.”
“Snow? Jacob, I hope you are kidding.”
“Nee. I was in town buying supplies, and I heard it on the television. There’s a storm coming in on Saturday, for sure.”
John growled. “I am ready for spring!”
Emma sighed. “It has been a snowy winter, ja? Sitting, she massaged her knee, which was sore from all her walking around.
“Ja, it has. Is your leg hurting?”
“No more than normal. My doctor told me that, until everything heals inside, just walking around may be painful. As long as I don’t have an accident, I should be okay.” She tensed at a quick series of knocks at the front door. “I’ll be in the pantry. Excuse me.” Rising, she moved as quickly as she could without falling so she could avoid being around Barbara.
“Mam? Can I come in?” Barbara had the door half opened, sticking her head inside.
Ann looked around to make sure that Emma wasn’t present. “Ja. Just...don’t say anything about or to Emma.”
Barbara sighed impatiently. “Mam, really? Shouldn’t she be over that? It’s been days!” She plopped herself down on the sofa, showing her aggravation.
Jacob heard Barbara’s exasperated remark. Setting his coffee cup down, he strode to the pantry and motioned for Emma to stay in there. Moving to the living room, he sat on the opposite end of the sofa. “‘It’s been days?’ Barbara, are you aware that Emma has had to withstand remarks and negativity from some people here who still believe that she and your husband acted outside the bounds of your marriage? She’s forgiven you, but she hasn’t forgotten what you did. Besides, why do you want to be around her, anyway? Remember, she’s losing that weight...”
Barbara rolled her eyes disrespectfully, not even bothering to hide the action. “Did you marry my sister already? Is that why you’re here so often?”
Jacob was about to answer when John slammed his hand down on the table. “Enough, daughter! Jacob King is a guest in our home. You will not be rude to anyone in MY home, ever again.”
“John, be careful! Relax.” Ann rubbed John’s forearm, attempting to help him regain his calm. “Barbara, if you can’t treat everyone here respectfully, maybe you should go home and come another day.”
Barbara felt her mother’s words just as if she had been slapped across her cheek. Drawing in a deep breath, she stood slowly. “Fine.”
She left before she said anything else. On her way home, she didn’t reflect on how she had hurt Emma in her misbegotten attempt to diminish her growing popularity. Instead, she stewed over how her parents had talked to her, their eldest daughter. Now they take Emma’s side? They favor her? What, is she some kind of heroine?
Refusing to look at the reason her parents may have told her to leave, Barbara continued to stew in her hurt. All the way home, she allowed her hurt to drown out the good sense she normally had. Making supper that night, she was grouchy and the family steered clear of her. Even Michael knew not to anger her. Because it was a cold night, with clouds and wind moving in, the kinder played downstairs before going to bed. By that time, fueled by a heavy dinner and sweet dessert, Michael had forgotten all about his cautionary behavior and his mother’s bad mood. Sneaking up behind Annie, he smacked her on the arm with a wooden toy after she told him to stay away from her.
Barbara and Ben dealt with the screaming and crying, sending the children to bed early. Because Ben was still angry with Barbara for what she had done to Emma, he retreated to the room he used when he worked on woodcarving. Barbara, knowing not to follow him, stayed in the living room. In her hands she held a book that stayed closed.
Her mind returned to the scene and words in her parents’ kitchen that afternoon. As she thought about what she could do about it, her mind kept rerunning the moment when Michael had hauled off and hit Annie with his toy. Allowing the thought to distract her, Barbara wondered if Michael had hit his sister with malice in mind.
Leaning back, she allowed her nervous fingers to fray the edges of the book as she thought. Slowly, over the space of several minutes, a new thought formed. She needs to learn. Maybe I made a mistake with taking action against Emma using Ben. The image of Michael swinging his toy and allowing it to connect with Annie’s arm ran through her mind again. That’s it! This time, I can use my kinder.
Barbara didn’t see that by using her child, she was doing something even worse—getting ready to accuse her sister of abusing her child. She remembered that when she and Emma had been children, Emma had received the lion’s share of the attention. She had been jealous of the attention given to Emma and, to a degree, Abby when they were kinder. Even when she had started school and Emma was still a preschooler, she had battled feelings of inferiority when people or even her own family had lavished any kind of attention or praise on her sister. Hearing Ben trudging upstairs, Barbara started and put her book away. I can think about this over the next few days. I need to make sure there’s a lot of time between Emma’s meeting and the next accusation I make, anyway. That way, everyone’s anger will go down. And dat...he will heal. While Barbara couldn't bring herself to feel guilt about how she treated her sister, she didn't want to do anything to upset her father. She'd been so scared when he'd fallen in the hallway. I’ll just be a loving sister again.
In bed upstairs next to Ben, Barbara was aware that he was stiff, not welcoming her presence in their bed. Turning her head to him, she gazed at him before speaking. “Ben? Are you ever going to forgive me?”
Ben was silent for a time. He sighed. “Barbara, I love you, but I hate what you did to your sister and your family—and to me. You made it look like I was willingly breaking my vows to you, and that is not true. What’s more, I’m still hearing gossip about Emma throughout the community. It’s not true and it’s hurting her. So, ja, I’m still mad at you. I don’t see that you’ve repented for what you did, even though the elders told you to do so. When you came home from your parents’ house, you were mad, so I know something else happened.”
Ben refused to ask what it was that had taken place—he was truly not interested, knowing that his wife would turn the situation around to make herself look like the injured party.
Barbara waited for him to ask. She had an entire scenario ready for him. She rearranged herself and sighed.
Ben rolled over and tried to go to sleep. He grunted as Barbara elbowed him. “Barbara, stop it! I am not going to speak of this. Ja, I’m still angry; ja, I am still hurt, and so is your sister. This is the punishment for what you did to her. Be thankful the elders didn’t do even more.”
Barbara didn’t like what her husband said. Rolling over with her back toward him, she pulled the blankets with her, leaving him uncovered.
Ben growled and grabbed the covers, pulling them so he got minimal coverage.
The rest of the night, the couple tried to sleep but, angered by each other’s refusal to cave in, they couldn’t drift off. Barbara stirred early the next morning. She was half-uncovered and cold. Looking at the window, she saw that it was time to get up. Looking at the other side of the bed, she saw that Ben was already up.
Hurrying, she got dressed and started breakfast downstairs. She remembered that it was Saturday and that there was a meeting planned for the next day’s services. She thought about what she could take for the lunch gathering. I’ll make a large salad so Emma can eat something. And then I’ll make some shoofly pies. Maybe Emma will be tempted to eat some. Barbara added a tiny amount of additional fat to the piecrust. She didn’t dare add any extra sugar to the filling—it was already sweet enough. Looking up, she saw Ben stamping his snowy feet on the floor mat outside.
“It snowed, wife. If you had any plans for a social, you’ll have to cancel them.”
“Actually, I had planned to go to the bishop’s house for a quilting frolic. One of the wives just had twins and needs extra blankets.”
“Nee. More snow is coming. It’s too dangerous. It’s not happening.” Ben hung his hat on the nail in the wall and took off his coat.
Barbara sighed. She had really been looking forward spending time with the other wives. Now, she would be stuck inside the house with an angry husband and three noisy kinder.
“Just work on a quilt here. Look outside, if you don’t believe me. Those clouds are heavy with even more snow. It’s still coming down hard and shows no signs of stopping.”
“How deep is it?”
“Maybe a gut eight inches.”
Barbara winced. “Will we be able to make it to meeting and service tomorrow?”
Ben looked at his wife, amazed. “Wife, we’re only going next door! We’ll be taking the wagon instead of the buggy. It’s heavier so it’ll get through the snow and drifts more easily.”