Barbara jumped. How long had she been woolgathering? Leaping up, she tried to move up the stairs as fast as she could, hearing her son’s frightened wails. But it was hard! By the time she got to the top of the stairs, her heart was pounding and she couldn’t breathe. Pausing for a few seconds at the top of the stairs, her vision darkened at the edges and she swayed. Grabbing the bannister, she shook her head, willing the faintness away. Finally, she was able to hurry into Michael’s room. Seeing him lying crumbled in a little heap on the floor, she bent over laboriously, trying to get on her knees. It had never been this hard before. “Michael, what happened?” She ran her hands over her son, looking for any injuries or blood.
“I was standing on the bed. I wanted to jump off, but my shoe got caught in the quilt.”
Barbara saw the blood now. He had banged his chin on the wood floor, opening up a one-inch gash. “Annie, get a washcloth right now.” Accepting it, she wiped gently at the blood, trying to see the injury. “I hope you won’t need stitches again.” She wanted to swallow her thoughtless words when Michael began wailing anew. “Annie, put your coat on and go to the barn for your dat. Michael, can you stand? I want to clean this up and bandage it in the bathroom.”
Michael sat up. “Ja. But no stitches, please!”
A few minutes later, Ben came upstairs, breathing heavily. “Barbara, what happened? Annie said Michael’s hurt!”
“Ja, in the bathroom. I don’t think he needs stitches. What do you think?” She had been successful in getting the blood to stop.
Ben bent over slowly and peered at Michael’s chin. “Tip your head up, son. Gut. Nee, I don’t think so. The cut’s not deep. Just disinfect it and put a bandage on it. What was he doing?”
“He said he wanted to jump off the bed and his foot caught in the quilt.”
“Were you watching them?”
“I was downstairs, thinking and beginning to get supper!”
Unable to argue against that, Ben sighed and sent a frown in Barbara’s direction. “Let’s go downstairs. The kinder shouldn’t hear this.”
When the two were in the kitchen, he leaned toward Barbara. In a low, hissing tone, he spoke. “Please get supper on the table. Your thinking has gotten you and our family in more trouble than we need. Remember that. No more plotting. Do you understand me?”
Barbara leaned back, away from Ben’s angry face. Shocked at the accuracy of his suspicions, her eyes widened. “I wasn’t plotting, husband! I was thinking back, remembering my younger years.” Turning sharply, she began pulling foods from the pantry and refrigerator, thumping them onto the counter.
Ben, staring at her with doubt and suspicion, walked with sadness to the barn. There, he went into his own reverie, remembering when he’d begun to court her.
Ben’s eyes widened as he spotted the rounded form of Barbara Lapp. Her light-brown hair was neatly combed and hidden under her head covering. As she giggled, her hazel eyes twinkled with mischief. Elbowing his friend, he pointed her out. “She’s Barbara Lapp, ja?”
“Ja, and she’s a handful. I went out with her two or three times. If you’re thinking of escorting her to singings, hold onto her as you’d hold onto a spirited horse. She has a mind of her own!”
Now, Ben wished he had heeded that warning. His mind reeled ahead several months.
Slipping his hand down, he searched for Barbara’s soft hand. Finding it, he circled it with his fingers, warming the cool skin. As he did so, his heart pounded, knowing that they could be seen by anyone driving by. He felt Barbara’s head gently nestle on his shoulder. Driving the buggy, he stopped several yards short of the Lapp home. Under a leafless tree, he turned toward Barbara and looked into her large eyes. Then, he lowered his lips to hers, caressing them. They remained like this for a few seconds, until they both heard the unmistakable sounds of a team of horses drawing a buggy, coming their way. Ben jerked his head back and set her hand back into her lap.
Barbara straightened up, making sure her head covering wasn’t askew.
Another day: Ben and Barbara had been married for a few months. Ben stood in their living room, staring at Barbara in complete shock. “You...you what? Please, tell me you didn’t!”
“What’s wrong with what I did? She has been bothering me for years! I finally took matters into my own hands and told her husband that she lied to him. He’s going to keep a very close eye on her, that’s for sure and for certain!”
“Ja, but it’s a lie, wife! And now, you’ve made it bad for her here in the community with that lie. People aren’t going to trust her when she says she’s going to do something. Barbara, if you had come to me, I could have helped you with what she’s been doing to you. Why didn’t you?”
It took several seconds for the truth to sink in. Slowly, the self-satisfied smirk on Barbara’s round face vanished. Now, she wore an expression of puzzlement. “I...husband, I’m just used to taking care of these matters on my own. My brothers are all so much older than I am. Now, they live in other communities and they can’t step in to defend me! So, it’s something I learned to do way back.”
Barbara began to wring her hands. Pacing back and forth, she muttered, “But I didn’t know. I just wanted her to stop tormenting me.”
“Wife, from now on, if anyone begins harassing you, please tell me right away. I’ll help you take care of the matter.” Settling his hands on her shoulders, he pulled her into his arms, holding her and rocking slightly.
“Ja, I will.”
But Barbara hadn’t kept that promise. Instead, she had continued plotting and acting out against those in the community she believed had slighted or hurt her.
With a start, Ben came back to the present. “Why, Lord? Why does she still do this? She knows I’ll protect her and the kinder. I just don’t want her to hurt anyone else.” He shuddered, remembering what had happened to Beth. Eventually, Barbara’s lies had forced Beth and her husband to pick up and move to another Amish community. Knowing this, Ben felt shame for not stepping forward and righting the wrong. But, when he had told Barbara what he planned to do, she got upset. He remembered well. She had been pregnant with Annie at that time and he was so afraid that she would lose the boppli that he backed down and said he wouldn’t say anything. Now, he regretted that because, he realized now, he had given tacit permission to Barbara to continue to manipulate him and others if she didn’t get her way.
“Now, son, remember, she is our first daughter. Because of this, she is just a little bit spoiled. When you encounter difficulties and situations, don’t let her get the upper hand in your marriage. Let her know you are partners together. She may try to create situations where she gets her way.”
Ben hadn’t known what John meant when he told him that Barbara would “manipulate” situations. Now, he wished he had thought to ask.
“I’m going to have to go and talk to her parents.” Looking outside, he saw that the snow had stopped for the moment. Trudging through the snow that had fallen, he saw Barbara, busy preparing their supper. “Wife, I need to go run an errand. I’ll be back before supper is on the table.”
“But the snow!”
“It’s stopped. I need to get this done before it begins to snow again.” Closing the door before she could object again, he hurried back to the barn and hitched the horses to the buggy. Remembering that one of the horses had begun limping, he unhitched him and pulled another horse into his place. Finally on his way, he slipped and slid as he drove to the Lapp farm.
“Ann, I need to speak with John. Is he in the barn?”
“Ja. He had planned to go to—” Ann blinked in surprise. Ben was gone, faster than she could process.
Hurrying, Ben clambered through the drifts that had built up. Reaching the barn, he panted as he tried to catch his breath. “John, do you have a little bit of time?”
“Ja, what is it?”
“It’s about Barbara and what she did to Emma. Clearly, she planned this out, and I’m afraid she’s back to planning something else.”
“Because she was found out, ja?”
“Exactly. Is this what you meant when you warned me that she would ‘manipulate’ situations?”
“Ja. I wish now that I had given you more details. When she doesn’t get her way, or when she fears an outcome, she will manipulate people and events so she is more likely to get what she wants.”
“But why would she make Emma look so bad? She—Emma, that is—has never shown any interest in me. I love Barbara and I don’t want to hurt her in any way.”
“Ben, we believe that Barbara is afraid of Emma losing all the excess weight she’s carried for so long. Barbara believes that if Emma reaches her final goal weight, she will be more attractive than Barbara is.”
Ben was stunned. “But...John, that’s a sin! That’s taking pride in her appearance!”
“Ja, and she knows this well. I am thinking of taking this to one of the elders. If they can talk to her privately, she may think twice about what she’s plotting and stop acting like this.”
“Ja, because I get the feeling she is plotting something else against Emma.”
“How?”
“We kept the kinder inside today because of the storm. I was in the barn doing some work and Barbara was watching the kinder—I thought. Annie came running to me to tell me Michael hurt himself. He was jumping on the bed and Barbara was downstairs. I asked her what she had been doing and she said, preparing supper. But I’d been working for a few hours. And she wasn’t watching the children. She’d sent them upstairs. So she could make more plans without being disturbed, I believe.”
John nodded. “Ja, that’s how she does it. She goes inside herself and doesn’t want to be disturbed. Is Michael all right?”
“Ja, he fell off the bed and hit his chin on something hard. He cut it open, but he didn’t need stitches, thankfully. Barbara cleaned and disinfected it. I told her to keep her mind on the children and her work, and then I decided to come here.”
“Ben, I know she’s very busy with the kinder. But she does better when she doesn’t have too much time to brood. I’m going to tell you now, so we all understand everything. Keep her busy. Even if that means that she has to mind the kinder more. Don’t tell her. Just do it. Come up with reasons that you are busy. If she tries to get her sisters to watch the kinder more, I’ll tell them to be busy with other plans. That won’t be too hard for Emma.”
“She’s still pretty upset?”
“Ja. She’s forgiven Barbara. But she won’t forget it. Ever, I don’t think.”
“I don’t blame her. I hope she’ll eventually feel comfortable interacting with the kinder and me, even if she can’t do so with Barbara.”
“You’d better go. It’s starting to snow again.”
Ben hurried over to the horses and, with difficulty, boarded his buggy.
“Boy, you need to lose weight or you’re not going to get into your buggy or wagon soon.”
“Every time I try, Barbara gets upset, telling me I don’t like her cooking.” Ben panted as he sat down. Looking around, he shivered.
“We will talk to her. We still have a long way to go, but I already feel a bit healthier and it’s easier for me to get around.”
“Denki. If you would, please talk to her. I see that Abby has also lost some pounds as well.”
“Ja, nearly all of us have. I will go talk to the bishop about our suspicions regarding Barbara’s motivations. It may be best for him to talk to her.”
“Ja. I think so, too.” Ben signaled the horses to move out. Fifteen long, cold minutes later, he was back in his barn. In the house, he quietly took his coat and hat off, sniffing the dinner Barbara was working on. “Chicken?”
“Ja, fried, with fried potatoes and vegetables.”
Looking at his expanding middle, and seeing Barbara’s ever-growing shape, Ben bit back his words with difficulty. Looking at the kinder playing in the living room, his heart fell. All three of them were beyond being just plump. “If you would just give me one chicken breast and only vegetables, I would be grateful.” Then, he steeled himself.
Barbara whipped around. “Why so little? Are you sick?”
Ben indulged in a white lie. “Ja. My stomach and intestines have been feeling funny all day long. It just seems to me that the less oil I put into my body, the better it would be.”
Barbara dropped the tongs into the spoon rest and stopped in front of Ben. “Hmm. You don’t look feverish.” She planted her hand on his forehead, cheeks and neck.
“I’m not feverish, wife. If anything, I’m just now warming up after coming back from...my errand.”
***
Three days later, while the kinder were at school and Jeb was playing upstairs, Barbara heard a knock on the door. Hurrying to answer it, she panted as she opened it to Bishop Zook “Oh! Bishop! Please, come in! Coffee?”
“Denki. It is cold, that is for sure and for certain.”
“How about some pie?”
“Nee, denki. My wife gave me a big breakfast and I am still a bit full. She would be upset if I didn’t eat what she’s preparing for dinner. I saw Ben coming out of the barn.”
As the bishop finished speaking, Ben came in through the back door. “Bishop! To what do we owe the honor?” Ben knew, but didn’t want to give Barbara a chance to become defensive.
“Thank you, Barbara. I received some word from someone who shall remain anonymous. Barbara, they told me that they believe that you made up that story about Emma and Ben simply to make Emma look bad.”
Barbara winced and sighed. “Bishop, I already apologized for all of this. Am I going to have—?”
“Wife!”
“I’m sorry. What did you want to say?” Barbara said, heeding Ben’s warning.
“This source, if you will, told me they believe they know why you did so.”
Barbara’s heart slowed down and gave two hard thumps as she took this news in. Praying her expression communicated puzzlement, she spoke. “What do you mean?”
“Why, what motivated you to say these things about your sister. I believe, as does this person, that you are afraid of her weight loss. That, once she loses all of her unwanted weight, others will think her more attractive than you are.”
Barbara froze. Her eyes widened and her face began to take on a blotchy, flushed appearance. “But...bishop, I know that’s—”
“Being prideful, and that violates our Ordnung. I asked Ben to be in here so he could be a chaperone of sorts and also to assist with our counseling here. When you learned that Emma was serious about her weight loss, what was your reaction?”