I stared at the impossibly high wall of debris, a feeling of hopelessness pressing down upon me like the weight of a thousand broken dreams. I looked at my friends as we approached the avalanche. As one, we stared at the stony obstacle in our path, trapping us in the Cave of Soles. One after another, we lowered our heads in defeat.
A tingling sensation spread across my chest. Reaching to my belt, I withdrew the Dagger of Stones and held it out. The red jasper Chakra stone glowed as if surrounded by a crimson haze.
“They’ve found the sixth Skull Key, the Skull of Pain, and have placed it above the doorway.” Rylee floated to my side, his wings a blur. “The Demon Lord has the Skull of Fear in his grasp, the seventh key. All he must do is put it in place, and the doorway between Agartha and Earth will stay open after the upcoming Blood Moon eclipse ends.”
I sank to my knees and stared down at the dagger. Only the black onyx stone remained dark . . . for now. Buzzing hornets filled my mind, and my head ached.
A feeling of hopeless despair spread across the cave as each of us considered the coming disaster from Agartha.
“I wonder if Leonidas felt this way back in 480 BC?” Leonard’s voice rose with curiosity, the sadness from his eyes momentarily eased.
“What are you talking about?” Karl asked.
“You know, Leonidas and the three hundred Spartans under his command. They faced, some say, a million-man Persian army at the battle of Thermopylae.” Leonard turned to us. “Three hundred Spartans stopped the Persian army from going through a narrow pass for a while, keeping them from spreading across the countryside of Greece.”
“How did the battle end?” Bobby asked. “Did the Spartans defeat the Persians?”
“Well . . . umm . . . no.” Leonard took a deep breath and sighed. “They delayed the Persian army, but in the end, all three hundred Spartans perished.”
“What’s with you and all this history junk?” Karl asked. “You’re supposed to be a football player, not a historian.”
Leonard shrugged, then lowered his gaze to the ground. “The truth is, I love history, but I have to focus all my free time on football.”
“But you’re the team captain back at your school, right?” Elisa said.
Leonard nodded. “Just because I’m good at football doesn’t mean it’s my passion.” He glanced at Elisa. “My father thinks I have a shot at being an NFL quarterback. He wants me to focus every second on this. I like football, but I love history.”
“Does your dad know this?” I wiped sweat and dust from my face.
Leonard shook his head.
“You should just tell him,” Elisa said. “It’s okay that you don’t want to be a professional athlete, isn’t it?”
Leonard shrugged. “That’s not the way my dad sees it. He thinks I have this gift, and I need to take advantage of it. He always wants me to be the best, which means I have to train and practice all the time so I can be better than any other quarterback . . . I hate it. But I guess none of that really matters anymore.” He glanced at me. “You and I are more alike than you realize.”
The buzzing in my head faded a bit.
“Between football classes, all I wanna do is go to the library and read about the past,” Leonard said. “Camp Pontchartrain is the only place I can do that without my dad finding out.” He sighed and sat on a large rock. “One time, I skipped a football practice during the school year to go to the library. My dad found out and was furious. He made me run laps all night long as punishment.” Leonard signed. “I feel like I have to do this to please him.” He grew silent, head lowered to the ground.
I glanced around at my companions. Defeat showed on their faces; they’d given up, as had I. Failure spread through me like a slowly rising tide, drowning my thoughts.
The Agarthans will destroy Camp Pontchartrain and New Orleans. I failed everyone. These thoughts looped through my mind, making my sense of failure and guilt even greater.
A mountain of stone stands between us and freedom. We’ll never be able to get out of here. Everything is lost.
The buzzing in my head welcomed the ANTs as they surged through my brain, but I didn’t care anymore. The monsters had won. My anxiety had won. There was nothing left to lose, so there was nothing left to fear. I stopped fighting and invited the Beast in.
And at that moment, I saw the ANTs and what-ifs for what they were . . . lies, made up by my insecurities and poor self-esteem.
The ANTs spoke to me, trying to crush the last fibers of my self-worth.
Yes, I’m the smallest sixth-grader at the Camp, I thought.
Yes, I’m a geek who loves technology.
Yes, I struggle with anxiety
But so what?! None of this makes me a bad person . . . “It just makes me who I am,” I whispered.
The ANTs attacked again.
I’m not a loser—I’m just good at different things than other kids.
More monsters weren’t about to attack—the entrance was blocked.
The ceiling wasn’t about to cave in—this cave had been here for centuries.
The what-ifs tried to feed my Beast, stabbing me with fear after fear . . . but I didn’t care anymore.
For an instant, I tried to imagine myself to be Leonard, strong and confident, hoping his courage would drive away the ANTs. But at that moment, I realized I didn’t need Leonard’s courage. I’d looked up to him for many years, hoping for the hopeless dream of being strong and courageous like him. But Leonard had his own problems; we all do. And that thought made me realize we have more in common than I ever realized.
Deep down inside myself, I had my own courage. I just needed to find a way to bring it to the surface.
I can’t control everything, only the things within my ability. That thought caused many of the what-ifs to vanish, their presence no longer important.
I can only be the person I believe in. I was done comparing myself to others and trying to be like them. I don’t need to be like Leonard, or Karl, or anyone else.
It was time I tried to be like me!
Beast, I’d let you take over my life . . . BUT NO MORE! My thoughts were daggers stabbing at my fears and insecurities.
Within my mind, I faced the Beast and saw it for what it was . . . a lie trying to devour my self-esteem until I hated everything about myself. The ANTs and what-ifs that stalked me for so long, that had amplified my fear and fed my Beast . . . they suddenly seemed so ridiculous.
It’s okay if I’m afraid of a monster or some real threat, but the ANTs and what-ifs don’t even exist. They’re like smoke obscuring everything around me, making it difficult to see.
I imagined a breeze blowing through my mind, carrying with it that mist of ANTs and what-ifs.
The buzzing grew quiet in my mind.
The worry part of my brain finally let go of the logic part, and I could think.
I let my doubts and worries wash over me like an ocean wave, then recede, each acknowledged for what they were—a lie. New strength blossomed within my soul, shining the bright light of courage on my Beast, forcing it to slink back into the shadows where it belonged.
THIS ISN’T OVER, I yelled in my mind. The quartz Chakra stone hanging around my neck grew warm as its song resonated in my head. Courage detonated within me, a supernova of faith and strength.
Standing, I faced my companions. “My dad has a poster in his workshop.”
“That’s great to know, Poole,” Karl said. “How does that help us?”
I raised my hand, silencing him. “It’s a quote from Thomas Edison. It says, ‘Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.’ That’s us right now.”
“Cameron, you think we’re close to success.” Elisa looked up at me with moist eyes.
I nodded. “I’ve given up so many times; I expect failure before I’ve even tried.” I turned to Leonard. “I once heard a quote from Abraham Lincoln about falling down, but I don’t remember it. Do you?”
Leonard nodded, his eyes brightening again as they did whenever he talked about history. “Lincoln said, ‘I am not concerned that you have fallen — I am concerned that you arise.’”
“What did he mean by that?” Elisa asked.
“He meant it’s okay to fail as long as you get up and keep trying.” Leonard stood, courage beginning to blossom within his eyes. “President Lincoln had lots of reasons to give up in his life. His family was forced out of their house when he was seven. His mom died when he was ten. Lincoln failed at business and lost eight elections before becoming president, but he never gave up. He always got up and kept going.”
“Exactly.” I stood and faced my friends. “Look at us, here in the cave. We’ve given up when we should try to stop Malphas.”
“What do you suggest? We lift the thousands of rocks that block the tunnel and just toss them out of the way. Look at the height of that pile of rocks. It would take a year to clear them all away.” Karl kept his eyes on the ground.
“Karl is right.” I nodded. “We can’t move all those rocks, but we can move just a few. All we need to do is make a small hole to wriggle through.”
“But look at how big they are,” Elisa said. “None of us are strong enough to lift them, not even Leonard.”
“We won’t use muscles to lift them.” I smiled. “We’ll use science.”
“But we’d have to start way up there, at the top.” Bobby pointed upward. “A fall from that height could be . . . well, you know . . .”
“Fatal,” Karl said. “Great idea, techie.”
I smiled. “Yeah, it is a great idea because we’re gonna do it together, as friends, each helping the other.”
“Friends? I don’t have friends.” Karl stood and turned away.
“Why is that, Karl?” I moved towards him and put a hand on his shoulder. “Why do you always push people away?”
“Yeah, why do you do that?” Bobby asked.
“It’s time you told us what’s going on with you, Karl.” Leonard pressed.
“You really want to know.” Karl glared at Leonard.
“We need to know,” I said.
“Okay.” Karl sighed. “In my old school, Francis W. Parker School in Chicago, I had friends; at least, I thought they were my friends. But when they saw the opportunity to blame me for something they did, they took it. I was expelled from school. My parents said I brought shame to our family and sent me to a boarding school here in New Orleans, far from Chicago and far from home, so I wouldn’t embarrass them again.” He shook his head, eyes still downcast. “I’m here at Camp Pontchartrain over the summer because my parents don’t want me at home.”
“So now you insult everyone around you?” I asked.
“I’m new at Camp Pontchartrain and don’t know who to trust. I’m not gonna get blamed for something I didn’t do, not again. For me, it’s safer to have no friends.” Karl stood, walked to where he’d set Number Three on the ground, and picked it up. He gazed down at it as if it were a trusted companion.
“Doesn’t that get lonely?” Elisa asked.
“Not when I’m on the ball field.” Karl stared down at his bat. “When I’m playing baseball, my teammates have my back, no matter what. We can trust each other during a game because we have one goal: to win.”
“But after the game?” Bobby asked.
“After the game? Who cares,” Karl said. “And I was fine until Chatoké left that note for me yesterday.
“What did it say?” Leonard asked.
Karl stood, reached into his pocket, and pulled out the crumpled paper. “It’s a quote from Mark Twain. It says, ‘Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it’s stored than to anything on which it is poured.’” He stuffed it back into a pocket and scowled at the ground.
“She’s right.” Elisa crossed the room and stood next to the baseball player. “Your anger will isolate you from everyone in school and here at the camp. It’ll eat you up from the inside.”
“I won’t be betrayed by a friend ever again.” Karl scowled at her.
“You can’t live alone with no one to lean on,” I said. “It’s too difficult.”
“I’ve been doing it for a year now.”
“But you’re not happy, Karl.” I walked to him and stood toe to toe, staring up at the taller boy. “Everyone needs friends, and the funny thing about friendship is, you can get it whether you like it or not.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I’m your friend, Karl, whether you want me or not.” I smiled.
“Me too.” Elisa moved to my side.
“And me,” Leonard said.
“Yeah, we’re all your friends.” Bobby moved next to us.
“Even me,” Rylee said in his high-pitched voice, “and I don’t even understand what you’re talking about.”
“There you go.” I placed my hand on Karl’s arm. “You have five friends. Now all you have to do is take a risk and let us in.”
Karl lowered his head and spoke, his words barely a whisper. “I’m not sure if I can.”
“Something my favorite author, Ray Bradbury, once said: ‘Jump, and you will find out how to unfold your wings as you fall.’” I smiled at Karl. “You just need to do it and take the risk; jump and find your wings.”
Karl glanced at us, confused, then lowered his head to the ground. “I think we should get out of here first. I’ll figure out my wings if we survive.” He turned to the others. “Do you have a plan on how to get out of here, techie . . . I mean, Cameron?”
With a nod, I smiled. “It’ll take all of us working together, but we have to go up there.” I pointed to the top of the pile of debris. “I’m tired of being the victim. I’m tired of being afraid all the time and just letting things happen to me. It’s time I made things happen.
“My anxiety has kept me from being the person I wanna be . . . well, not anymore. Giving into fear and accepting failure isn’t an option.” I stared at my friends. “I won’t let Malphas destroy our world and the friends that we love. We may have fallen, but it’s time for us to arise; I’m getting us out of here. I’ll do it alone if I must, but I’d rather have some muscles up there with me.”
“I will help.” Rylee floated off the ground, his horns glowing bright red.
“I’m with you, Cameron,” Leonard said.
“Me too.” Bobby slapped me on the back.
“I’m kinda afraid of heights,” Elisa turned to me, “but I’ll try.”
“Karl?” I asked. “What about it?”
“I guess falling to my death would be better than starving in this cave.” Karl shifted the bat from his left hand to his right, then extended his prized possession to me. “I assume you’ll need this for the lever and fulcrum stuff . . . you know, science.”
“Exactly.” I took the bat. “We’re gonna use your bat and Leonard’s hockey stick to pry the stones out of the way.” I glanced at Leonard. “It’s like how the ancient Egyptians moved enormous blocks of granite to build their pyramids.”
Leonard smiled and nodded.
“But what are we gonna do once we get out of here?” Karl asked.
“I have a plan,” I said.
“Am I gonna like this plan?” Karl asked.
“Maybe, but it does involve pulling the fire alarm for the camp.”
“I like it already,” Karl said with a smile.
Bobby stepped forward and raised a hand, then slowly brought it down until it was extended straight out in front of him. He glanced at me and winked. I moved next to him and put my hand on his as Rylee hovered next to me, his little hand on mine. Elisa put her hand on mine, turned to Karl and Leonard, and nodded. The two athletes joined the circle, our hands joined at the center of the circle.
Bobby cleared his throat, then spoke in a clear, dramatic voice. “Our friendship is a beacon that illuminates the darkness and gives us the strength to face our enemies,” he glanced at me, “and our fears, together.” Bobby smiled as he cast his gaze around the circle.
Everyone stood there, silent, contemplating his words. Karl pulled in his hand and slowly walked around the circle until he stood right behind Bobby. With a smile on the ball player’s face, he patted Bobby on the back.
“You nailed it that time, Bobby.” Karl’s smile grew even bigger as he started to laugh.
The rest of us joined in, laughing as we gave Bobby high-fives and stared up at the massive wall of granite. Karl moved to the biggest stone, then cupped his hands, making them into a step to help the others up the pile of debris.
“Let’s do it,” Karl said.
We climbed the pile of rubble, each helping the other ascend the incredibly unstable mound of rock and gravel. And as I climbed, I felt something I hadn’t felt since my anxiety took hold of my life . . . hope.