AUTHOR’S NOTE

 

Thank you so much for reading My Dad My Dog, which is based on my dad, Joe and my dog, Nick. To have changed their names would have diminished their value in inspiring this story.

If you would like to learn more about these two inspirational characters, please visit my website at www.rebeccajwarner.com.

If you can find a moment to leave a review for My Dad My Dog, I would be most appreciative. I would love to hear from you if you have any comments or questions. You can email me at rebeccawarnerauthor@gmail.com.

Being a health care surrogate to both my parents for fourteen years involved not only making medical decisions on their behalf, but also providing loving emotional support. In their lifetimes, they faced many medical challenges that required being in hospitals, surgical units, assisted living facilities, and nursing homes for rehabilitation. I spent thousands of days in those facilities, always striving to ensure their best care.

Then there was the other sweet being under my care—Nick, my big black Lab. After many years of hiking and swimming and chasing balls, Nick began to slow down. But his valiant heart and love of being with his people and his canine brothers and sisters kept him relatively active. Then Nick began showing signs of decline remarkably similar to Dad’s, especially in the last year of their lives.

These experiences and events laid the foundation for My Dad My Dog.

Dad lived in a wonderful facility much like Crestview, and he received excellent care from the staff. I loved visiting with him almost every day when I wasn’t traveling or snowed in. After he passed away, I began to imagine how different my life would have been if, as is true with many caregivers, I had tended to him in my home, without a staff of CNAs to facilitate his personal care. To broaden my perspective about what in-home care would entail, I reached out to MemoryCare of Asheville, a community-based, charitable organization uniquely focused on serving the whole family—caregivers and patients.

Everyone who has provided care for a loved one with dementia has had a very personal and distinctive journey. While there are medical absolutes about the disease itself, there is no cure. While there are guidelines for care, none are etched in stone since each patient’s level of dementia results in diverse behaviors. Each caregiver’s experience is unique to their perspectives and experiences they draw upon in dealing with this debilitating disease.

But what is a certainty is the eventual loss of our loved ones. It is the entire life journey we’ve taken with them that imprints upon our memories. Memories can be a gift, allowing us to hold on to feelings for the people, places and events that shaped our lives. When those with dementia lose their memories, then caregivers, family members and friends must carry those memories forward and honor their loved ones for the difficult and frightening journey they took as their precious memories slipped away. This is what I wished to do in writing My Dad My Dog.

My hope is that we as a society and a nation empower caregivers by making every tool and service available, including compensation, to help make their difficult endeavors as bearable as possible for them and their loved ones.