It’s been two days since I met with Jackson. I grab my food tray and load it with cereal and a glass of milk. The milk sloshes all over the tray on my way to the table. I sit away from everyone. I’ve been doing that for days. I avoid any of the guys, especially Wired. But today, Wired is sitting three tables over, waving his arms at me. I ignore him. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see him making an idiot of himself trying to get my attention.
I guess his coming to my table is out of the question. The shuffle to Wired’s table is slow. But when I get there, I lay into him. “What the hell is your problem?”
“I talked with my sister on the phone last night. She said she’s been approved to visit with you. Today!” He says it like it’s the worst thing in the world.
“I don’t get it,” I say. “Jackson didn’t say anything to me.”
“Maybe he will when you see him.”
“I guess. But wait . . . why do you know this before me?” The news I might get to actually meet Larkyn is sinking in. I’m suddenly overheating.
Wired is glaring at me but doesn’t answer.
“I’ll check with Jackson,” I tell him. “I’m meeting with him in a few hours. Maybe he’ll tell me then.”
Wired puts his face inches from mine. “And that’s when you say NO.”
“Like hell,” I shove him away from me. “You don’t tell me how to run my life. Just a few weeks ago you were the one crying because you had no visitors. Who do I have coming to see me? My dad. Oh, and it’s always a great visit.” My volume has increased with the tension in my body. “If I can talk with your sister . . . it will definitely be better than hanging around the losers in here. If Jackson says she’s approved, then I’ll say thanks.
That’s it. Got it?” I’ve moved within inches of his face.
Wired backs up and his fist pounds the table. “She’s with me first. We’ll see what happens after that.” He marches to a table with some of the dudes who have muscle.
I know it’s designed to intimidate me, so I ignore him. Even so, a stare from one of the big dudes gets under my skin.
I regret giving Wired crap minutes after our blow-up. If I am able to see his sister, I don’t want him giving her the wrong idea about me. He can make it so she won’t want to visit. And I don’t need the Diablos after me. I give my head a shake.
All the way through my chores I check over my shoulder every few minutes. I feel as though I’m being watched. I will see Larkyn-with-a-backwards-k. But I better work something out with Wired before I get in too deep. Maybe I should give him some more cash?
But the scene with Wired gets under my skin. Does he figure his sister deserves someone better than me? What the hell! I saw the way she was looking at me. These thoughts play back and forth in my head as the morning goes on.
After my chores, I get cleaned up, in case I am given permission to see Larkyn. My CO supervises while I shave with the kit I just bought. Some days having someone watch every move I make really gets on my nerves. And today especially, I wish I could wear my own clothes. To give Larkyn a sense of my style. But I pull on the same sweats as everyone else. Mine are too baggy.
After I shower, I gel the top part of my light brown hair so it stands up. This gives me more height. I noticed when Larkyn visited Wired that she is tall.
I’m too nervous to eat lunch. So I just wait to hear if I have good news from Jackson. He doesn’t come to visit me like I expected. Instead, he calls.
“Hey, Kevin,” I hear over the phone. “I still don’t think it is a good plan, but I have approved your visit with Larkyn. Just be cautious. But I do like that you are thinking of your future now. And if this helps get you on track, I’m willing to help make it happen.”
I sense real worry in his voice. “Okay,” I say. “But the visit will be good, you’ll see.”
“I hope so. Now, the second reason I called is to check in about Aisha. What are your thoughts about seeing her?”
Of course, Jackson has to kill the moment by bringing up Aisha. I feel a tremor run down my legs. “Okay, I will see her. But not today.”
“No, of course not. I’ll book her for Saturday.”
Jackson hangs up. While I am excited about seeing Larkyn, panic rises in my throat. It sits right under my Adam’s apple, making it hard to swallow or breathe. I head to my room. I lie back on my bed and try to chill. I never asked Tanika out when we were in school. Now I wish I had. I wish I had more experience with girls and knew what the hell to say to Larkyn. And I wish I didn’t have the thought of Aisha’s visit looming in the back of my mind.
The idea of seeing Aisha keeps creeping into my thoughts. And every time that happens, I feel like I am back at the scene of the crime. Back in the frosty air of that wintry morning. Now two things are at war in my brain. If I let myself think about getting out, I can hang with Larkyn. But then, how would I face Aisha? If I see her, it will open the floodgates to how I feel about what happened. I don’t know if I can handle that.
The afternoon crawls and I’m stuck in my head. It seems like forever before my CO calls me to the visitors’ area. I run my fingers through my hair and adjust my sweat pants so they’re sitting on my hips. Not much else I can do to look any better. And I push any thoughts of Aisha out of the way so I can focus on Larkyn.
Wired is nowhere to be seen as I head down the hall.