I know something’s off as I walk to our room. A metallic tinge of blood coats the air. It smells god awful and reminds me of death. It’s been quiet for days since we’ve been back and there’s no reason to fear an attack, but that fucking smell makes my skin crawl and my body shake with anxiousness. The scent gets stronger and I find myself picking up my pace as a sick churning stirs in my stomach. My mate.
I grip the doorknob so tightly it nearly breaks off in my grasp as the door bashes violently against the wall. Veronica’s form is a blur as she spins to face me. Seeing she’s safe calms the beast clawing inside me. My frantic breathing eases as I walk to her. The sense of peace is fleeting as I study her face.
With wide eyes so black they match the silk negligee she wears, my mate looks as though she’s been caught with her hand in the cookie jar. I grin and look past her to the large walnut desk. My smile falls instantly. My mate swallows and opens her mouth, but I silence her with a glare.
At least a dozen blood bags line its polished surface. They’ve been opened and drained, and it looks like she’s been scraping the insides of the bag with a razor. There’s a small pile of white powder in the center of the desk. The poison. She’s collecting the poison designed to corrupt her immortality.
Unable to breathe, I stare into her eyes and search for an answer.
This isn’t real. It can’t be true. Disbelief comes in waves. What the hell is she doing with this shit? My blood runs cold as all manner of possibilities race through me.
“Did you drink the blood?” That’s the first concern on my mind. I don’t think my mate would hurt herself by drinking this shit. She can’t. She wouldn’t. She drinks from me daily. I can give her everything she needs.
“No.” Her voice is small and her eyes are brimming with bloodied tears.
I nod my head and back away from the desk, walking to the bed with my back to her. If she’s collecting this drug, it can’t be for anything good. I think of any enemy she could have that’s vampire, but I come up with nothing. I haven’t the faintest clue why she would be harvesting this weapon. And it’s one fucked-up weapon. They found four vampires at the warehouse; their fangs were barely visible and their immortality gone. Two were already dead and the other two were no stronger than humans. They needed a complete blood transfusion and to be bitten and turned again. They’re still weak, though, nowhere near the vampires they used to be. There’s no reason Veronica should have this shit here.
What the fuck is she doing? Did her queen give her orders without me knowing?
“Explain.” The single word falls hard between us. I hope she can sense my disappointment and the agony at being kept in the dark. She’s up to something, something of grave proportions. If she’s hurting and planning revenge, she should’ve told me. Why wouldn’t my own mate confide in me?
“I don’t want this anymore.” Her chest rises and falls with the admission, pain laced in her tone.
What the fuck? My heart sinks at her words. A spiked lump forms in my throat. She doesn’t want me anymore? If she thinks she can run from me, she’s dead fucking wrong. I’ll always find her and bring her back to me.
“What have I done that makes you want to leave me?” Her head tilts and confusion is easily read on her face.
A beat passes and a hard lump grows in my throat.
“Why would I want to leave you?” Her softly spoken question instantly eases my body and I struggle to hide the fact that I’m fucking crumbling on the inside.
“You said you don’t want this anymore?” I need her to clarify her words, and I fucking hope it’s something I can handle. Because this shit is fucked beyond recognition and I’m failing to see what the hell is going on.
“I—” Her eyes look around the room as if searching for an answer I’ll find acceptable.
I move into her space and growl out the words, “Answer me.”
She stares straight into my eyes as she speaks, “I don’t want to be immortal. I can’t live when you die. I don’t want to. I don’t want this. A life without you isn’t one worth living.”
I stare into her dark eyes as my heart clenches in agony. My poor mate. Taking her head in my hands, I kiss her plump lips and lick across the seam for her to part for me. My tongue rubs along her bottom lip and caresses hers, while I allow the pain to subside and find the words to give her peace.
What do I know of immortality and how she’s feeling? I know I would want to die if she was taken from me. I wouldn’t want to go on without her. But my mate is strong and is destined to live once I’ve been buried in the dirt. I would never wish her to be in pain, but to want her to give up her immortality? Never.
I part from her and miss the warmth immediately. “What about our children? You’re blessed to be able to care for them and watch them grow once I’m gone. You’ll have peace loving them when I can’t.”
Tears fall from her eyes. “I don’t know that I can ever give you pups, Vince.” She sniffs and turns her back to me to take a tissue from the package on the desk. How did I not know this? How have I let myself be so blind to the cost of her immortality.
“You think this poison will give you that ability?”
“I don’t know, but it’s worth it to try if it can.”
My head spins. How could she be so reckless? “But we haven’t even tried without resorting to something like this. Something that could destroy you!”
She lifts her chin and defiantly tells me, “I will give it all up to be the mate you deserve!”
“You are the mate I deserve, Veronica. You’re more than that.” I push her against the wall and cage her in with my body. She moves easily, not resisting in the least. “Tell me you haven’t taken the drug. Please tell me you haven’t.”
Her shoulders shake with her sobs and then she says, “Only a little.” I feel my heart fall and the crushing weight of guilt push through my limbs.
“Veronica.” I place a hand on her neck and kiss my mark on the other side. “Don’t. Don’t do this. I love you just the way you are. I don’t want this. I just want you.”
“But I want to give you more. I want to be more for you.” My head shakes at her words.
“How can you think so little of yourself? You’re perfect in every way.” I kiss her forehead as tears slip down my cheeks. “I’ve failed you as a mate.” Her hands shove against my chest.
“Don’t you dare say that; you’ve shown me glimpses of the kind of life that is possible without the burden of immortality. You’ve given me hope and desire for more. How could you think you’ve failed me?”
“You’re drugging yourself to be something you’re not!” She cowers from my words and the sinking feeling of defeat races through me. “Promise me you won’t take any more.” She refuses to look at me and sobs harder. “Promise me, Veronica.” She slowly shakes her head, but I’m not going to accept that. There has to be another way.
“Just wait for me, then.” Her eyes finally find mine at my desperate words. “We can try without it. We can wait until the Authority is done with their testing.” I pull her into my arms and let her head rest against my shoulder. I stroke her back and settle some as her breathing relaxes. “We can try without it.” I kiss her hair, inhaling the sweet floral scent of jasmine and add, “We have time to wait.”
“I’ll wait.” She whispers the words.
“Promise me. Promise me you’ll tell me if you think about it again.”
“I will, I promise.”
I kiss her hair again. “We can try without it. I will give you everything you need. I promise you, my love.” She sniffles and kisses the crook of my neck. The feel of her soft lips against my skin brings a warmth to my chilled blood. “I love you, Veronica.”
“I will love you forever, Vince.”
This saga is far from over. There are many moving pieces and other love stories to be told while fate unravels what's to come.
Jude's story, Broken Fate, is coming next fall.
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