Chapter Thirty-Four

A distant cock was crowing when Charity quietly pulled the back door shut behind her. She paused a moment and glanced at the door to the bedroom where she used to sleep, the room where Joe now slept.

The room was empty, she knew. She’d heard Joe go out earlier.

First he’d come into the house from outside, lit the stove, waited a while for it to heat up and then made some coffee. She’d heard the chair scrape back as he’d sat down, and she’d wondered whether he’d sit a while when he finished his drink or go straight to the stable. But soon after that, she’d heard him walk past her room, open the back door and go out.

It was what he’d done every day for the past two weeks since the morning they’d met on the plain.

And that morning, as with every one of those other mornings, his footsteps had slowed as he’d passed her bedroom door. She’d heard his hesitation, felt it through the wall. She’d clutched her quilt to her chin. A throb of desire pulsing low in her stomach, she’d lain there, longing for him to open the door, willing it to stay shut.

It had stayed shut.

He’d continued along the corridor, leaving her in her bed, unable to move and in despair at her wantonness, her cheeks wet with tears of disappointment in herself.

Their time apart clearly hadn’t helped him control his feelings any more than it had helped her, she’d realised. Thoughts of him had filled her mind from morning till night. And her yearning for him had built up inside her.

She’d known this was happening and had resolved to talk to him as soon as she could in an attempt to get things back to where they used to be. But there hadn’t been a single moment in which to do so. For the past two weeks, Joe had left the house every morning before anyone else was up, and had returned each night well after dark, when it was far too late to sit down and eat with them, and after a few words with his parents, he’d gone straight to bed.

Hearing his steps falter again as he’d passed her room that morning, she’d realised that this couldn’t continue, and she’d decided to go to the stable and talk to him. Greg would be there, too, but Greg would never tell the Carter townsfolk that she and Joe had been talking together, she was sure. And even if he did, everyone knew she’d been friends with Joe all her life, and they wouldn’t get riled up about him speaking with her.

She’d thrown back her cover and washed and dressed at speed, anxious to get to Joe before the town filled with people. What she would say to him, she didn’t know, but she’d think of something. He’d be in the middle of watering and graining the horses by the time she reached the livery, but she was certain he’d be able to break off briefly to talk with her.

She turned away from his bedroom door and started walking past the vegetable patch towards the town, its buildings bleak beneath a bank of grey cloud that hung low across the sky. The morning air was bitter-cold, and she wound her scarf more tightly around her head and thrust her hands into her coat pockets as she hurried across the open ground.

The stable was the right place in which to talk to Joe, she reassured herself as she walked. With Greg there, they wouldn’t be alone in the building, so the wrong sorts of thoughts wouldn’t flood her mind and distract her from what she had to say to make sure she didn’t lose him.

She caught her breath. Why did she think she could lose Joe?

The law might stop them from ever being more to each other than friends, but he would always be her friend. One day he, too, would wed, and then, married to other people and living in different cultures, they’d obviously lose some of their closeness – that was only to be expected – but they would still be friends. Law or no law, they had a bond that could never be broken.

That she must never let be broken.

She turned into Second Street and hurried along on the Chinatown side of the street, her eyes on the livery stable on the opposite corner, her heeled boots shattering shards of ice that littered the boardwalk. Reaching Main Street, she glanced in both directions, making sure that no one was close by in either part of the town, then stepped off the boardwalk to cross over to the stable.

‘Charity!’ Martha’s voice came from her left.

She stopped in surprise in the middle of the road, turned and saw Martha hurrying along on the whites’ side of the street. She made a move to go to her, but Martha indicated for her to stay where she was. Stepping down from the boardwalk, Martha walked across the street towards her, placing her feet with care between the ridges of hard mud that criss-crossed the centre of the track.

‘What are you doin’, gal, comin’ over to this side of the street?’ Martha asked when she reached Charity. ‘When I last looked, the bakery and mercantile were in the other direction.’

‘I was just goin’ to say hello to Joe. I’ve not spoken to him for a couple of weeks, with him bein’ gone real early in the mornin’ and back so late each night.’

Unsmiling, Martha nodded. ‘I seen that, too. He’s not sat down at the table to eat with us for a while now. But what’s two weeks of not speakin’ to him? Before that, you’d not spoken to him for seven years.’

Charity tried to laugh. ‘I know that. But now he’s here, I thought I’d ask how he was settlin’ down. I didn’t want to write it in a letter.’ She attempted a laugh again.

At the sight of the grim expression on Martha’s face, she stopped.

‘I don’t know about Joe, but I’ve been wantin’ to talk to you, gal,’ Martha said, ‘and now’s as good a time as any, with the men not bein’ around.’

Charity’s face filled with anxiety. ‘What about? Have I done somethin’ wrong?’ She pushed her hands further into her pockets.

‘Look, Charity,’ Martha began. ‘You’re a grown woman now and I’m not gonna beat about the bush – we both know what I’m talkin’ about. You need to move out. You’re gonna wed Chen Fai in May, I think you said. I sure am hopin’ nothing’s gonna stop that weddin’ from going ahead.’

Charity bit her lip.

‘I don’t have to say more, do I? Joe did what he was asked when you were little, keepin’ an eye on you at times and helpin’ with the work I would’ve been doin’ if I hadn’t been lookin’ after you. But you’re not a little gal any longer, and there’s no need for him to keep lookin’ to see you’re all right. You’ve got Chen Fai to do that for you now. Isn’t that so?’

Charity nodded.

‘And it wouldn’t be proper for you and Joe, a grown man and woman, to be spendin’ time together away from other folk. Isn’t that also so?’

‘I know it wouldn’t,’ Charity said, her voice low.

‘I hope you do, gal. It’s time Joe started thinkin’ of himself. He’s a fine-lookin’ man with a good future and he’ll find himself a woman real easy. But he won’t until he takes his eyes off you and starts lookin’ around him.’

Charity’s heart missed a beat, and she swallowed hard. ‘Joe’s a friend. I’ve never thought of him as anythin’ else. I’m gonna marry Chen Fai, aren’t I?’

‘Like I said, I certainly hope so. But you’ve got some work to do there, I rather think. The last few times I’ve seen Chen Fai, he’s not looked a happy man. It’s not just San Francisco that’s got Chinese gals, you know.’

‘I know.’

‘So you’ll know there are some in Green River and Evanston now, and that’s not far away. Not many, I grant you, maybe only one or two. But how many does a man need? And Chen Fai would be a real good catch for any of them. I’m suggestin’ you put a smile on your face and be real nice to him. If you wanna get wed, that is.’

‘Of course I do,’ Charity echoed hollowly.

‘Well, I hope you do.’ Martha took a step closer to her. ‘’Cos I’m tellin’ you, gal, if Chen Fai changes his mind about marryin’ you, you’ll go to Green River, get a job as a domestic and live there, or you’ll do what Chinese women have to do in places like the tong if they wanna eat. I want you out of the house, and out of Joe’s life. I reckon I couldn’t make that any clearer. D’you understand?’ Cold grey eyes pierced her.

Charity nodded.

Martha took a step back. ‘Good. You can stay till your weddin’, but you’ll be gone before June, married or not.’

‘Okay,’ Charity said quietly.

‘And there’s another reason why I want you out of the house and livin’ in Chinatown,’ Martha went on. ‘I reckon there’s gonna be big trouble between the whites and the Chinamen. What happened two weeks ago is just the start, not the finish, like Hiram and Joe seem to think. The whites’ club gave the Chinese miners a chance to join the club and stand up with them against Union Pacific, but they turned it down and there’s real resentment about that.’

‘They think it’s a white man’s organisation,’ Charity said. ‘And also they’ve got tong leaders to speak for them.’

‘Whatever the reason, the whites ain’t pleased. I’m hearin’ more and more of them say the Chinese must go. I don’t want my Joe caught in the middle, a white man lookin’ to defend a Chinese woman. Who knows what could happen?’

‘I wouldn’t let him,’ she said quickly.

‘You wouldn’t be able to stop him! No, he’s got the chance of a good life here, thanks to Seth, and I want him free to take it. With you wed or livin’ in another town, Joe would only have himself to think about. And if there is trouble, well Chen Fai’s a good man. He knows what’s happenin’ in town as well as anyone else, and he’ll keep you safe from harm. You’d best set your mind on keepin’ him.’

She stared at Charity, whose face was pale in the morning light.

‘You been a good gal, Charity,’ she said, her eyes and her voice softening. ‘You’ve worked hard and never complained, and I don’t regret takin’ you in, whatever you may think. What’s more, I guess I’ve come to feel affection for you, which I sure hadn’t expected.’

Charity stared at her, a sudden hope springing to her eyes.

‘But things’ve changed now, and I gotta look to the future and think of Joe. Anythin’ wrongful between you and Joe, and he’d find himself in jail real fast, or even worse. And probably you, too. I hear what’s in the papers, too, you know. And there’s Sam and Phebe and Thomas to think about, and Hiram. Hiram needs that job of his, and I wouldn’t wanna see him lose it ’cos of a friendship that’s against the law. Joe’s always said you were a smart gal. So act smart and marry Chen Fai before he decides he doesn’t want a woman with her mind set on someone else.’

‘I don’t think about Joe like that,’ Charity said, her hope now gone, her voice a whisper. ‘I don’t.’

‘Is that so, gal?’ Martha gave her a wry smile. ‘Then I reckon you’re not quite as smart as Joe thinks. You’d do well to face what’s in your heart, and work hard at overcomin’ it, as it’s never gonna be. If I can see it, so, too, can Chen Fai, and so can anyone with eyes in their head.’ She stepped back. ‘And now that I said what I came to say, I’ll let you get yourself to the bakery – it’s fair cold out here. As for me, I think I’ll go and see how Joe’s gettin’ on.’

She nodded at Charity, walked briskly across to the boardwalk on the whites’ side of town and turned left into Main Street. A moment later, Joe’s exclamation of pleased surprise at the sight of his mother sounded from the other side of the livery wall.

Her head bowed, Charity turned away and walked slowly down Main Street in the opposite direction from the stable, and then she crossed the road and went inside the bakery.