Predators in
the Pagan Community
by Boudica
With a title like that, I am sure many of you have chills just thinking that this could actually happen in your community. There are others who should be warned that this article might contain triggers, and it might be a good idea to read this in small doses and avoid the parts that may hurt. Or get someone to give you the “digest” version.
Discussing predators is not a gentle topic. So, warnings have been given. Let’s discuss what issues we have faced and the solutions available to handle this in our communities today.
This article is not meant to excuse predatory behavior. People do this for all sorts of reasons, and sometimes for no reason at all. Whatever the reasons, the fact remains that predators exist, they are attracted to our community for many reasons, and we have to deal with them.
What do we mean by a predator? When the topic comes up, many people immediately think of sexual predators, but there are many types—and all of them try to obtain something illicitly from someone else. In this article, we are discussing predators in all forms—those who prey on our community, taking what is not theirs from those who trust, who don’t know any better, or who had a moment when they weren’t thinking clearly.
The Pagan community is comprised of many lifestyle groups, among which we can count poly-pagans, sexually expressive Pagans, gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender Pagans, and those who just like taking off their clothes and running around as nature intended. We are a trusting community, offering help and assistance where and when we can—even when we have very little to offer. We love being who we are and should not repress our choices because of the behavior of others. Rather, we are looking at what to do when we find predatory behavior in our community.
For some, our sexual expressiveness sets off many triggers, especially for those who have suffered sexual suppression or have been at the mercy of deviant behavior. Some predators see it as a free-for-all, a feast of sexual promiscuity. Others see this as open season and find us a niche in which to prey upon the innocent.
And because we are often so giving of ourselves, our time, and our funds, we also open a door to those who feel free to take what is offered. They feel that taking it all is their right or their privilege. We also offer potential financial resources to those who are inclined to take a free ride on such assets.
We have a culture that attracts two extreme types: the naive and those who exploit the same. Our community is full of triggers, and we have events that can set these triggers off in susceptible individuals without our realizing it.
Good Intentions
When I first started on the festival circuit, many of us had gone through the sexual revolution of the late 1960s. Free love and an end to sexual repression was a good thing. Workshops discussing sexuality and inviting individuals to push the old boundaries and live sexually unrepressed lives were offered at festivals. However, many of those teaching the workshops did not have the necessary credentials. Some individuals attending these events and workshops jumped into these lifestyles without a second thought, and some embraced them fully without thinking about any kind of repercussions. There were no consequences—just embrace the freedom and the love. The workshops led us along, and we were pretty much convinced this was the way to go. And, for all intents and purposes, free love is a wonderful thing.
We should never encourage a lifestyle to anyone who is unsure. But yet, I remember teachers saying if you do not embrace this lifestyle fully then there is something wrong with you. Yes, I heard it several times, and it scared me half to death. Because, in a way, they were correct—some people may have issues that they need to deal with, and we were not providing the correct support or environment to deal with these issues. “Yeah, yeah,” they said. “If you need help, get it.” Where? How? The support resources just weren’t there. Looking back on some of those classes, someone just wasn’t thinking. It was simply assumed that everyone at those classes knew what they were doing and knew if they belonged there. They were wrong.
Looking back, it’s easy to see how ill-prepared we were. We didn’t have properly trained medical personnel available who could handle the situations that these kinds of workshops could create. And let’s face it; most were there for the free love and the openness of relationships. No one was thinking about being responsible.
As a result, we had instances of rape. And while not all instances were actual rape, charges were filed. And charges were dropped. In the end, formal charges notwithstanding, the incidents at these events definitely and directly caused broken relationships, unintended pregnancies, and mental breakdowns.
These things did not happen often, and many folks never heard about these “side effects” of our events. But it did happen. And in some cases, workshops like this were never offered again. Some were offered privately. And the love-ins still happen at certain events. In many cases, there is no harm, no foul. But there are always the exceptions.
We have learned. We have grown.
Getting Responsible
It is up to the community hosting these events to try their best to make sure we are protected. No, it is not our place to try to prevent people from indulging in the freedoms we take for granted, but we do have the responsibility to offer a safe place for our community members should any issues arise. People are free to choose what courses they take and to also accept responsibility for their actions. But sometimes people are not aware of their own condition. While we cannot always prevent bad things from happening, the community should offer some kind of support system for those who fall into this category, because that is what community does. When we gather into a community, we choose to be responsible for all our members. And to be a true community, we need to realize this and take up all the associated responsibilities.
I know there will be a lot of shaking of heads and denying responsibility for these possibilities. What does it take to have a phone number handy to tap a mental health professional to be a resource, or ask a family planning organization if they would be willing to donate condoms or provide education at our events? You would be surprised by how much some organizations are willing to assist. We have competent doctors and nurses within our community who already volunteer to provide some basic help. I am sure they would know who to tap to provide an extra layer of protection and security to our community. All we have to do is ask. Open the dialogue, see what resources we have, and make that information available to our community members. This is really simple and costs us nothing.
Some communities already do this, and they deserve recognition for their initiative. But there are always beginners. Sharing this kind of information is another line of communication we need to cultivate.
Up to this point, I’ve focused on sexual predators, who deservedly garner a lot of attention. Yes, they are out there, we have seen them, and we have reported them. Sometimes they are removed; sometimes they run. We have their names and many communities will exchange information about well-known predators with each other. There are resources now in place that we need to tap on a regular basis in order to protect our communities and ourselves. Communicate with other communities. Communicate with authorities. Communication is our best weapon against most types of predators. And there are other types of predators.
Swindlers and Scammers
We also have instances where individuals in our community prey on our people financially. They may be from our own groups, or they may be attracted to our community because we are so open.
These people pick our pocketbooks and steal our assets. From the house guest who never leaves to those who rob our community savings, these predators come from within as well as from outside our communities. We have the scammers, the con artists, and the suit-wearing financial executives who will take your money and then disappear. Some of them come in and hit fast; others will stick around and take from us slowly so we don’t realize our pockets are being picked. Then there are the ones who will repeatedly steal from individuals again and again until they are recognized, at which point they move on to another community to steal again.
We are such a trusting community of people. When we see someone in need, we tend to be very generous—even to the point of opening our doors and inviting them into our homes. This can get real messy, to the point of lawsuits.
I’ve also seen this played in reverse, where the predator invites someone in need into their home, takes everything they have, and then kicks them out, leaving them truly destitute.
We also have the Internet swindles. Although this type of predatory bottom-feeding has been around for a while, it seems to be taking off lately. Be careful of the “crowdfunding” option. We have some very worthwhile individuals we can support within the community, but there are “opportunities” out there to lose your hard-earned money. Not too long ago, starting a store or running an event was a major undertaking, in part because of the financial commitment. On the plus side, that monetary investment demonstrated how serious people were about the project.
These days, someone calling themselves a pagan and needing startup cash to run an “Internet storefront” or start a new “Pagan event” can post on a crowdfunding site, and we tend to jump in with both feet, only to find there is no floor.
How can we manage these problems? How do we deal with this?
There are two answers. First, always vet your resources. Get references; do not trust until you have a reason to trust. This is especially true when dealing with money. Banking institutions are always your best bet for holding your funds and putting a legal instrument in place to assure that your money is protected. Retain a lawyer when contracts are placed on the table. If you are going to spend money, make sure it will be well spent and that you have a legal way to address a failed contract. Do your homework! Be aware! If you don’t know the individual personally and you don’t have the cash, then leave it alone and let those with investment resources and a good background checker handle the heavy lifting.
Second, we should do the same with new members. Ask where they have been before they came to you, and get references. Make sure you know who you are dealing with when you invite someone into your home. Call those references—don’t just look at them and say, “Ooohh, a big name! Impressive!” People drop names all the time. That does not mean they have ever met.
For festivals and events—I cannot say this enough—vet your presenters and vendors and make sure you are dealing with honest and reputable individuals. Even then, you should have professional resources and insurance in place to handle potential legal and financial issues. Going the extra mile not only makes the community safer at your festival, it also protects you. If you don’t know how to deal with every scam and perpetrator, ask those who hold successful events and learn how to deal with potential issues before they happen to you.
Policing Your Event
When dealing with predators, I want to make sure each community understands this clearly. If you encounter a predator and someone in your community is harmed, or the community itself is a victim, please press charges. Take it directly to the police and a lawyer! It’s tempting to deal with the “small” issues yourself to avoid giving your event a black eye, but even a minor incident could spiral out beyond your capabilities.
We seem to want to protect the community when it comes to someone being seriously injured. But if you witnessed a car crash, wouldn’t you report it to the police? The same goes with predators. The reason they can get away with things is because we let them. If we are not willing to take the responsibility to report and press charges, then this individual is free to do it again and again. By our inaction, we are essentially responsible if this person injures another time.
We are talking about rape, physical harm, unintended pregnancy, abuse, illegal drug use, forced drug use, theft, embezzlement, and whatever else these people see fit to impose on an individual before they are done and move on. Yes, this has happened in the Pagan community, as well as all other communities where people would rather remain silent than speak up.
To bring this home even further, websites run by the U.S. Department of Justice have statistics on abuse and sexual offenders available for everyone to read—Google NSOPW, the National Sex Offender Public Website, and read it. The FBI also has a website chock-full of crime statistics that will give you some idea of the scope of what is going on out there.
Addressing Incidents and Proactive Measures
And for those who are victims, please get professional help coping with the issues that arise—even if the repercussions do not surface until well after the initial incident. Whether it is losing cash or being raped, there are social services out there, many of which are free of charge. Seek the help you need so you do not end up being a lifelong victim—or worse. We love our community members and it is tragic when we lose them. Always ask for help; there is nothing wrong with that. If we teach nothing else to our community members, we should be teaching that there is no shame in asking for help and support.
We also need to establish clear channels of communication between our organizations and our communities. We need to get the word out that we are connected, that we are not victims, and that we will react as a community when we are attacked by any kind of predator. And by making it known that we will not tolerate predators within our communities, we will lessen the chance of being infiltrated by predators and con artists. By taking this discussion to our membership, we put in place a support mechanism to combat predatory behavior and enable our membership to handle these kinds of issues when they arise. There is no “if,” there is only “when.”
Open dialogues in your communities and openly discuss this topic. Discuss what your community will and will not tolerate, discuss resources that are available in your communities, and make plans “just in case.” Be prepared and hope you never have to implement these options.
Establish communication with other groups and organizations and make them aware that you are willing to get involved. Get to know who your law enforcement people are and find out who would be “Pagan friendly.” You would be surprised how far we have come and how, in many communities, law enforcement is very Pagan friendly. If you don’t know who to contact, we do have an organization of first responders, Officers of Avalon, and you can contact them.
We are but small communities, which makes us ideal for anyone who is looking for quick pickings, so we need to learn to protect ourselves. And while our communities are close-knit, there are times we need to make use of institutional support to handle issues that are beyond our scope. This means alerting the authorities. The only way we can prevent predators from repeating their crimes is to report them and press charges. What I have been discussing here are all crimes. Sexual violence, sex without permission, rape, theft, and embezzlement—these are all crimes! Treat them as such! Identify and report!
Take this discussion to the next level, your level, and let’s see if we can bring safety to the Pagan community as a whole.