“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” – Colossians 3:13
“Have a gute ride to the Wagler’s home,” Rebekah said as she walked Katie and Peter out to their buggy. “Peter, are your parents really packing up to head south to Texas with you when you go back?”
“Ja, they are.” Peter was in no hurry to hand Lil’ Bit back over to Rebekah. He had not taken his eyes off his nephew for too long since taking him in his arms and certainly had not put him down. Instead of handing him over to his mater, Peter snuggled him close in his bopplin sling. “They have to come back with us since they are a grossmammi and grossdaddi now,” he said.
Rebekah stood patiently beside her brother. “Did they take Ruth on to their haus?”
Peter nodded. “Ja. We could not have pried her out of their arms if we tried.” He stroked under Lil’ Bit’s chin. “I suppose it is time to give this tiny buwe back to his mater.”
Katie helped Peter slip the sling over his head and untie it from around his waist. “He really is a special buwe,” she said.
Rebekah stood still as Katie slipped the bopplin sling over her head while Peter held on to Lil’ Bit just a moment longer. Reaching around her gently, Katie tied the sling behind Rebekah’s back.
Rebekah smiled at her, a genuine smile that had not graced her lips in months. “Danki again for this,” she whispered. “Lil’ Bit has not slept this gute since he was born.” Rebekah accepted Lil’ Bit, still sleeping soundly, from Peter and gave him a tiny squeeze.
“I am glad you feel better,” Katie whispered back.
“It is quite a trick to don the bopplin sling, isn’t it,” Rebekah said. It had proven to be a two-person job each time she put it on or took it off. She held Lil’ Bit closely as Peter helped Katie make the final ties.
Once it was secure around her neck and around her middle, she slid her bopplin into the pouch. “This tiny buwe loves his sling. It is a Gotte-sent blessing. Danki again for bringing it.”
“Between the bopplin sling and the goat’s milk,” Peter said, “I think we ironed out our little buwe.” He smiled at his schwester. “By the way, all of this is exactly what we had to do for Ruthie, too.”
Somewhere in her mind, the reason for them bringing the sling and thinking to bring the goat’s milk swirled like a whirlpool. The thanks all go to Joseph for writing the letter that got it here.
Peter, as though he could read her mind, looked at her with a knowing expression on his tanned face. “Sure is good that Joseph wrote when he did. Otherwise, we would not have known to bring anything at all.”
Rebekah nodded. “Ja. I will be sure to tell him so.”
“Good. He needs to hear it from you.”
“Remember, Rebekah,” Katie said. “Gelassenheit. Everything for a reason. You taught me that. And that Gotte has a plan for everything.”
Rebekah reached for Katie’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “How was your birthing experience, Katie? You mentioned your bopplin being colicky.”
“She was a, how did you say Peter?”
“A pistol.” He smiled.
“Yes,” Katie said. “A pistol since day one. She was very, very big and my mother and Annie both were attending me. It seemed as though she was stuck for quite some time.”
“It was a few minutes,” Peter said.
Katie shot him a look.
He held his hands up in mock defeat. “But I am sure it felt like hours. Days. Years, even.”
“That is better,” Katie said. “Anyway, I became too tired to push. We were making no progress and the bopplin was getting tired, too.”
“So was I,” Peter said.
Rebekah and Katie looked at him.
“But this is not about me. I do not matter at all in this story.”
Katie shook her head. “Such a funny man. All the time. Anyway, I started to cough. The more I coughed, the closer the baby came to being born.”
“So, what she is saying,” Peter said with a smile, “is that she coughed my daughter right out into the world.”
Katie smiled. “I suppose that is what I am saying. But like Lil’ Bit, she was very colicky. I could not feed her either. We had to use a bottle and lots of different kinds of milk until the Mennonites taught us about goat’s milk.” Katie shrugged. “Us Amish women are able to adjust to whatever our bopplins need to make sure they are big and healthy, right Rebekah?”
Peter shot his sister a quick wink over the top of Katie’s head.
The sting of camaraderie, long overdue, prickled like pins and needles. “Yes. We certainly do.”
Katie and Peter shared a look. “We had to get creative,” she said, “at least if we ever wanted to sleep again. That is how we came to discover this bopplin sling and the goat’s milk, both. Discovering them certainly saved my sanity.” She offered Rebekah a sincere smile. “I pray your dat feels better soon. I noticed today how much he has aged.”
“So did I,” Rebekah said. “The heart seizure last year really did something to him.”
Peter sighed and looked down the road at the setting sun. “As much as I do not want to get back into this buggy right now, I reckon the time has come to do just that.”
Katie smiled up at her mann. Something in their sweetness with one another made her heart twist in her chest. “At least we are only going down the road and not back to that train to travel across the entire country this time.”
“Find the silver linings where you can, Fraa,” Peter said. “Goodbye, Rebekah. I will see you again before we leave. You have a niece to cuddle.”
“Yes, I do. And I cannot wait to do just that.”
#
Rebekah stood on the buggy road and waved to Katie and Peter as they drove off in the direction of the Wagler’s house. “I suppose it truly is a gift from Gotte,” she whispered out loud.
“What is truly a gift from Gotte?” Thomas’s voice made her jump.
“Thomas!” Rebekah’s heart thudded in her chest with the unexpected company of her favorite little bruder. “When did you get here?”
His face fell at her harsh admonishment.
“I have been here. Playing chase with Sun.” He dipped his head. “I did not mean to upset you by being here.”
Rebekah softened her brow and smiled down at him. “Thomas, I am wonderful gute happy that you are here.”
“You are?” He looked confounded. “I did not think you were happy with anybody at all anymore.”
“Why is that?”
“Everything you have said to anyone has sounded angry.” Thomas spoke to the ground and shrugged. “To Mater, to me. But especially to Joseph.”
Rebekah mentally kicked herself. Katie was right. I really did push everybody away.
“Having a bopplin can make some maters sad. Or mad. But even that is no excuse for my behavior.” She sucked in a breath. “I owe you an apology, Thomas.”
“You do not owe me an apology,” Thomas said. “I just want my happy schwestie back again. And for Lil’ Bit not to cry all the time.”
She extended an arm and pulled him close. “And, I think we have Lil’ Bit’s problem taken care of, thanks to Katie and Peter.”
“How about your problem with Katie? Is it taken care of, too?” He looked up at her innocently.
She nodded. “Yes, that is taken care of, too. Which brings me to my apology to you.”
“You really do not have to.” Thomas pulled away from her hug and studied his bare feet powdered with dirt. “I do not really like apologies. I just want everyone to be happy. Like we used to be.”
Rebekah continued anyway. “Faith. Hope. Love. Three gifts from God, and three gifts I not only forgot, but that I took for granted.” She looked down at him. “I forgot to have faith in my family. I forgot to hope for the best. And I forgot the importance of love. Not only between Katie and myself, but between me and everybody. Joseph, you, mater and fater. Everyone. For that, I am wunderbaar sorry.”
“So, what you are saying is that you messed up?”
“Ja.” She gave a little giggle. “I messed up. I should be a better role model for you. I am sorry, little bruder.”
“You are forgiven. Actually, there’s really nothing to forgive, but it feels good to say.” He grinned up at her. “Forgiveness always feels so good.”
“Is that so?” Rebekah bit back a smile. “And just who have you had to forgive lately, besides your silly schwester?”
“Sun,” Thomas said without missing a beat. “He climbed all the way up my leg and while I was putting my trousers on this morning. Up my leg, under my shirt, and sat on my shoulder. It hurt so bad, but I forgave him and felt better.”
Rebekah remembered her weird nightmare, and stood, speechless. Finally, she untied her tongue. “Ja, well, forgiveness is the best.” She exhaled and tried not to think about the strange nightmare anymore. “Komme mit mir, how about I walk you home?”
Thomas patted his front overall pocket and shook his head. “You can get started now, Schwestie.” He turned on his barefooted heel and dashed off in the direction of the barn. “I have to find Sun, then I will catch up to you. Tell mater not to wait on me for dinner if you beat me there,” he called over his shoulder.
“As you wish, Thomas,” she shouted. The grin on her face finally felt sincere, and the whole of her soul felt lighter. She started down the trail to her old house. “As long as I’m apologizing,” she told the sleeping Lil’ Bit, “I had better do it correctly. Next stop, mater and fater.”
Thomas and Sun caught up to Rebekah as they turned onto the lane that led to her childhood home as the long, golden rays of the setting sun were beginning to recede from across fields, taking their warmth with them and leaving a fresh chill in their wake. Elnora was outside ushering their hens into the chicken coop.
“Hallo, Mater!” Thomas called, rushing ahead. “Look who came with me! Schwestie and Lil’ Bit.”
Rebekah hefted Lil’ Bit in his sling. He was sleeping soundly and seemed incredibly content. She sucked in a breath. For the first time in a long time, it did not catch in her throat. It felt good.
Elnora, with her bright smile, turned and waved them in. “Hallo! It is good to see you both. Or should I say all three of you?”
They met in the hazy golden sunset. “I almost did not recognize you with a quiet infant,” Elnora said. “May I hold my kinskind? In his…” she gestured to the sling, “…contraption?”
“Ja.” Rebekah slipped the sling over her head. “Thomas, can you untie the back please?”
“Oll recht,” Thomas said.
When she was free of the sling, Rebekah smiled. “Here, let me put it on you, Mater.”
She slipped the sling onto her mother, just as Katie had slipped it onto her.
“And I will tie the back,” Thomas shouted.
Shockingly, Lil’ Bit slept the entire time. “The goat’s milk Katie suggested seemed to settle his stomach quite well. And of course, this sling.”
Elnora swayed with her kinskind. “She and Peter dropped some of the goat’s milk by here on the way to the Wagler’s haus. In case you came this way.” She smiled at her daughter. “Katie said to tell you that both you and her owe your thanks to Aloysius and his goats. She said you would know what she meant.”
Rebekah giggled. “Yes, I suppose we do.”
“Katie has grown up good, no?”
“Ja, she has. Finally.” Rebekah nodded. She shifted her gaze, and an embarrassed heat warmed her neck. “Maybe I will be the one that grows up next.”
“You already are.” Her barefooted mother looked beautiful in the falling twilight. Young. Happy. “Komme, Thomas. Let’s go check on your fater.”
“Mater,” Rebekah called, “have you seen—”
“I saw Joseph pass by,” Elnora interrupted. “Go find him, Dochder. Thomas and I will dance in the kitchen with Lil’ Bit until you come back.”
***
The darkness, long fallen by the time she reached the Graber’s homestead, did nothing to darken her mood. She walked up to the front door of her husband’s childhood home and knocked loudly with a newly blossomed confidence.
No answer.
She stepped back and looked up at the windows. Each one was dark.
She knocked harder, and still, nobody answered.
“It appears that nobody is home tonight,” she said. Rebekah stepped down and dashed across the path to the barn, just to be sure that they were truly not home. Like the house, the barn was dark and quiet. With a shrug, she started back in the direction of her own childhood home.
Her parents’ downstairs windows were lit to a cheery glow by the time she arrived back at the homestead. Back inside the confines of her old kitchen, Rebekah saw just how old her mother looked. While she had looked young and happy beneath the sunshine earlier, something about being inside made her age show.
She offered Rebekah a welcoming smile. “Did you find Joseph?”
Rebekah shook her head. “No, not yet.” She returned Elnora’s smile to change the subject. “How is fater?”
Elnora answered her question with a look that said more than words ever could. Her mother’s face registered somewhere between hopeless, scared, and sick. Still, Rebekah needed to hear the words.
“I was surprised to hear him at the house earlier when Katie and Peter arrived,” she prodded.
“He was looking forward to holding both of his new baby kinds together,” Elnora said. “Tired him out something awful though. Came home and went right up to bed.”
Rebekah chewed the inside of her cheek. “He did not get to hold Lil’ Bit with bopplin Ruth. That is probably on account of me.”
“No, he did not,” she said. “But it was not on account of you.”
Rebekah looked up at her mother, who smiled sweetly. “Once Peter got a hold of Lil’ Bit, he was not keen on putting him down or handing him off. It was really the sweetest thing. They do favor, don’t you think?”
“I do.” Rebekah drummed her fingers on the tabletop. “Do you think dat is asleep?”
“Well, I was just about to let Thomas give Lil’ Bit his bottle.” Elnora winked at her daughter. “How about you go up and see him yourself?”
Rebekah crept up the stairs toward her parent’s bedroom. When she reached the landing, Samuel’s voice met her ears. “Come in, Dochder.”
“How did you know I was here, fater?” She stepped inside and tried to choke back a gasp at what she saw. Her strong, strapping father’s face was thin and ashen, and he looked even older than he had earlier when they’d come over to greet Katie and Peter. Blue veins stood out in stark contrast to his pale skin and his breath came harder and faster than normal. Though he looked thin, his wrists and arms appeared strangely puffy in places.
I have heard that heart problems make people puffy sometimes. When the heart is not working the way it should, it makes people tired…and puffy…and breathless.
Samuel gave a weak wave. “I always know where my kind are. I got good practice with you, my precious dochder. Each of you has different sounding footsteps on the stairs. Yours are quiet, like a mouse, Thomas’s are…”
“Not quiet,” Rebekah said. “About anything ever.”
He laughed quietly. “That is true.”
Rebekah stepped over to the chair beside the bed and sat down. “How are you feeling?”
Samuel shrugged. “I am fine. Please, do not worry about me.” He patted her hand. “How are you and Lil’ Bit?”
“I had a good talk with Katie and a wunderbaar visit with Peter.” She felt herself brighten before she could help it.
“Did you?” Samuel raised his eyebrows. “Tell your old fater about it.”
“It was very…grown up.” Rebekah relaxed back against the chair. “When she came to my room, I told her to leave. She said no. We really cleared the air, as some people say. I believe both of us got to say many things we otherwise would not have been able to say to one another. Things from the past, things that bothered both of us. We even spoke about current problems.” Rebekah thought for a moment about how much to tell her father. “I thought Joseph and Katie had a secret romance going through the mail, unbeknownst to Peter or me.” When she said it out loud, it sounded incredibly far-fetched and silly. “I sound ridiculous.”
Samuel, though, did not laugh. “To be worried about such things and be pregnant. That does not make for a happy home.”
“Saying everything out loud makes me realize how silly I was. For such a long time.”
He shook his head and tsked. “You always have had a big imagination, Dochder.”
“So, I learned after talking to Katie. Seems I had seen things that were not there.”
“I am pleased that she was able to ease your mind.” He smiled. “There is a first time for everything.”
Rebekah gave a little giggle. “They invited Joseph, Lil’ Bit, and me down for a visit, and I am excited to go just as soon as we can. And I would like to take Thomas too if that is suitable to you and mater.”
“Of course. You would not get far down the road without Thomas anyway.” His lips pulled back in a smile, but it was heavy with tiredness.
Rebekah thought for some words to say, any words, to fill the strange silence brought on by the illness of someone you love. “The goat’s milk and bopplin sling have already made such a difference to Lil’ Bit.”
“Have they?”
“It is wonderful gute, Fater. I knew having a bopplin would be exhausting, but having a bopplin who does nothing but scream, a bopplin who seemed to be in pain all of the time…” Rebekah let her words trail off and hang there a moment. “Katie’s visit feels as though it was on divine timing because I was wonderful close to some kind of mental breakdown.”
“Breakdown?”
“I did not think I could do it anymore. Felt like I was failing. As a fraa, as a mater. Even as a dochder and schwester.” She could not look at her father. “It was a horrible feeling. But the bopplin sling and the goat’s milk. They have made a difference like…” Rebekah searched for just the right way to describe it. “Like night and day. Like I have been in dark gloominess and now the sun is shining again.”
“You were unsettled too, you know, when you first came to be my dochder.”
“I was?” She pretended to forget everything Peter had told her earlier and not to have any idea what Samuel was talking about.
“You were. You liked to go to work with me out in the fields. I would tie you on my back while I plowed.” He gave a little chuckle. “I suppose it was your very own little bopplin sling, way back then. I wish I had thought to tell you of it before. I could have saved you so much heartache.”
“Gelassenheit, Fater.” His hand, which had been resting on hers, felt cold. “Gotte’s timing is always perfect. Even if we do not understand.”
“That it is.” He patted her hand. “You sound much happier, Dochder, and that makes my old, sick heart happy.”
“You are not old, fater.” She stumbled over her words. But you are sick. I cannot say such things though.
Samuel brightened. “Tell me, does Lil’ Bit like his cradle, now that he has a milk that settles in his stomach?”
Rebekah froze.
You cannot lie, Rebekah, the little voice in her head told her. But how truthful can you be?
“I have not had the chance to put him in it since he settled,” she said truthfully. “But the minute I do, I will send word. I promise.”
“Danki, Dochder.” Samuel’s eyelids fluttered. “My, I did not realize how tired I was.”
Rebekah stood and made her exit. She paused in the doorway. “I will go so you can rest.”
Samuel’s eyes were already closed. “Ich lieb you, Dochder.”
Rebekah turned in the doorway. “I love you too, Fater.”
He was snoring before she even closed the door.
***
Elnora was swaying in the kitchen with Lil’ Bit when Rebekah came down the stairs. Thomas had gone on to bed, so the kitchen felt curiously quiet with just the pair of them and the bopplin there. It was incredibly rare that she had her mother to herself for any amount of time.
Rebekah sat down at the table and spoke first. “Fater is not well.”
“His energy, it comes and goes,” Elnora said. “But I cannot recall a time when he was so ill. Apart from last year.”
Rebekah shuddered. The heart seizure that almost took her father’s life was a fresh worry in everybody’s mind when Samuel had so much as sneezed since then. This latest development did nothing except worry the lot of them considerably. “Mater…” she began.
The word hung there in the still air, dangling from the last strands of courage she used even coming here.
Elnora did not speak, but she did turn her kind eyes toward her daughter.
Rebekah sucked in a breath. “I have done something terrible. Actually, I have done lots of terrible things, but one thing above all I am incredibly ashamed of.”
Elnora’s brow furrowed. “You, Dochder? What have you done that is so terrible?”
“This entire pregnancy, I have been horrible to Joseph. Selfish, rude, and horrible. He had kept up a secret correspondence with Katie, or so I thought, and it turned out to all be a big misunderstanding.”
The smell of bread, toasting in the oven, met her nose. Her stomach growled, but she paid it no attention. “I came out the fool, and I feel every bit of it. So instead of trusting my husband, I drove him away.” She dared a peek at her mother. “And worst yet, in a fit of anger, I did something even more terrible.”
Elnora offered a gentle smile. “I am sure whatever it was is not as bad as it seems. Would you like to talk about it?” She brushed Rebekah’s hair off her forehead.
Her mother’s gentle smile and the tender caress of her hand on her forehead took her right back to her childhood. One night, when she was about ten, Rebekah had awakened in a cold sweat. She was freezing, she was sweating, and her throat felt as though it was on fire. She’d tried to call out, but the words could not pass her swollen throat.
So, she lay there, weak and whimpering, until the door opened and light from the hallway flooded in.
“My darling girl,” Elnora had exclaimed. “Are you oll recht?”
Rebekah could not answer. Only squeaks could pass her lips. She pointed to her throat as tears born of fear and pain ran down her cheeks.
“Oh no,” Elnora said. She brushed her hand across Rebekah’s forehead. “You are burning up with fever. I will be back. Mater will take care of you.”
Her mother’s reassuring presence had gotten Rebekah through her first terrible sickness, which until that time had been the scariest night of her life. Even as she lay there in her bed, moments before so terrified and in pain, her mother’s presence and touch had been enough to reassure her that everything would pass, and she would soon feel better.
Elnora had returned in only a few moments, with an icy rag in her hand along with a steaming cup of tea. She placed the icy rag on Rebekah’s forehead. “This will bring your fever down.”
She sat on the end of the bed and stirred the cup. “This is what my mater gave to me when I was sick. I will make it for you several times a day until you feel better. We need to start drinking it now. Sit up a bit, my love.”
Rebekah still remembered the spicy taste of the tea Elnora made for her. Years later, Elnora gave her the recipe for that enchanted tea that had soothed a childhood filled with sore throats. Apple cider vinegar and honey in hot tea. Sweet and simple.
She trusted her mother then, and she needed to trust her mother now.
Rebekah sucked in a breath and let it out slowly. “I smashed the cradle fater made for Lil’ Bit.”
Elnora’s hand flew to her mouth, and she turned away with a gasp.
She does not want me to see the disappointment on her face.
The toast was done, so Elnora slowly retrieved it from the oven in silence.
Rebekah did not dare speak. She had already broken enough hearts with her words and actions, but the worst of all may prove to be breaking those of her parents. Her mother had never turned away from her when she needed her before. Now, they were in uncharted territory. The familiar lump rose into her throat and threatened to choke her, but she did not dare cough.
Elnora seemed to move in slow motion before finally speaking again. “You know Rebekah,” she started. Her voice was low and crackly, as though she was fighting back tears. “Your dat worked so hard to construct that for you.”
Sorrow. My mother is speaking through sorrow.
“Ja, mater.” Rebekah’s heart rent in her chest as Elnora prepared them a snack that Rebekah did not deserve to partake in.
Elnora placed the toast on a plate and sat it in the middle of the table. “Would you get the butter off the counter, please? And a knife?”
Rebekah silently did as she was asked. She sat the items next to the aromatic toast.
Once Rebekah sat down, Elnora did the same before continuing. “He was up half the night for days on end, sick and exhausted, all so you could have something meaningful and nice for Lil’ Bit. Something to hand down, for generations to come.”
Regret curdled within Rebekah like sour milk on a hot summer day. Her face puckered as she tried to hold in the emotion. She deserved to hear these words from Elnora, and she deserved each and every feeling that came of it, as well. “I know. What I did was terrible. Unforgivable.”
Elnora picked up a slice of toast and scooped out some butter. She buttered the toast in long, even strokes. “Terrible, yes. Unforgivable, no.” She handed the slice to Rebekah. “You regret the anger already, so words from me are apt to make that feeling worse, which is not my intention.”
Rebekah covered her face with one hand and balanced the toast in the other. “I am so ashamed, Mater. Ashamed and regretful. Even more so since I could not bring myself to confess this to Fater.”
Elnora buttered a second slice of toast for herself. “Your confession would have only brought hurt to a sick man. You were right to keep quiet.”
“When I calmed down, right after I promised myself that I would never lose my temper again in such a manner, I went to find where Joseph put the bits of the cradle so that I could fix it myself. But it was gone.” She dropped her voice low. “Gone along with Joseph.”
“He left?” Elnora raised her eyebrows. “Joseph?”
Rebekah nodded. “He said he was leaving for the night or longer. He took the cradle with him.”
Elnora looked down at the bopplin. “As sweet and precious these little gifts from Gotte are, they can be awfully trying to a young couple the first time around. We might even say or do things we do not mean.”
“Not you, Mater.”
“Oh, ja.” Elnora raised her toast to her lips. “Even me.” Finally, she rewarded herself with a bite. She closed her eyes and groaned. “Yum.”
Rebekah took a bite of her bread and studied the wood grain of the table. Normally, her mother’s treats tasted delicious, but the bread today felt dry on her regretful tongue. She managed to chew the bite and swallow roughly. “What did you do?”
“Do?”
“Ja. Things we regret?”
“Oh, ja.” Elnora’s eyes misted. “It was when we first found you. I had been praying, asking Gotte for a child of my own for many months. Yet I had still not become pregnant. When we found you…” She looked down at Lil’ Bit. “It was a gift that we were there to save you. And I knew that.”
“Yes, it was.”
“Samuel was not so quick to believe that Gotte had answered my prayer. He said it was unfair to keep you from your kind, from any family you might have. He felt for them, that we could not take away something from them that would be so wonderful gute and precious. He thought that would be us being selfish and taking what we wanted from people who had not intended to give to us.”
Her mother’s words rang with perfect sense in her ears as she heard the story of her father not wanting her for the first time.
“So, once we settled here, Samuel went to find your family. He did not know about Peter, he did not know that the only surviving family you had was another child, or he would have adopted him, too.”
Rebekah dared another bite of bread. It went down much easier than the bite before.
“He discovered you had nobody else in the world, or so we thought at the time. And the Englischer world pointed him to a place where all helpless children go when they have nobody to take care of them. It was a place called an orphanage.”
Orphanage. Peter’s stories of his time spent in an orphanage made the little hairs on her neck stand on end.
“Orphanages and orphan trains, where they put the babies and children onto a train and sent them west…” Elnora’s voice cracked, and her hand began to shake. She shook her head and gathered her wits. “So, when Samuel learned this, he came home, and without telling me anything, he snatched you out of your cradle and carried you outside. All of the other families knew what was going on, so we all figured that he had come to get you and take you to your new home.”
“I was powerless to stop him. I just followed and listened.” Elnora stared past her, as though she was staring into a past that only she could see. “He said he wanted the town to meet his dochder, Rebekah, and no child of his was unwanted or unloved, and this child would grow up with parents who loved her in a community where she was celebrated.”
Rebekah nodded. “So, what did you do that was…”
Elnora shook her head and held up a finger to quiet her. “That night, when it was just us, I talked to Samuel. I told him that even before he made his announcement, you were my dochder. He did not understand my meaning, so I continued. I told him that whether he liked it or not, I was raising you as my child. Even if I had to do it alone, as a shunned woman.”
Rebekah’s mouth fell open. She remembered at once that she was eating and closed it again. “Mater, I had no idea.”
“Nobody does, besides Samuel and me. Until now.” Elnora took another bite. When she was finished with her toast, she continued. “We have never spoken of it again, and I would be grateful if you did not, either.”
“I will keep that for myself.” Rebekah felt very loved. “Thank you for trusting me with that story.”
“You see, Rebekah,” Elnora said, “I understand more than you might think.”
She nodded. “I am so grateful that you are my mamm.” She reached across the table and patted her hand. She hoped that it gave her mother the same feeling that her touch gave her. Of hope and strength and comfort.
“So am I.” Elnora smiled. “So, what else is bothering you?”
As much as it hurt to think, and hurt to say, she took a deep breath. “I fear I have driven Joseph away for gute, Mater.”
Elnora sat, looking thoughtful for quite some time before she spoke. “I am a bit older than you,” her mamm said, “and I have seen a thing or two in this world. And one thing that has fascinated me most is birds.”
Rebekah’s eyes widened. Of all the words her mother could have said at that moment, birds was not one of them. “Birds?”
“Particularly mourning doves. I know you have heard them, with their long lonesome call. But have you ever sat and watched them?”
“I cannot say that I have.” Rebekah shook her head. “I suppose I know more about bears lately than about birds.”
“So, I have heard.” Elnora chuckled. “Anyway, no matter how much a pair of mourning doves peck at each other, and they do peck at each other quite often, they still love each other a great deal.”
“I did not know that.”
“They mate for life, you know.”
Elnora looked squarely at Rebekah and did not speak until her dochder met her gaze. “And most importantly,” Elnora said, “the fater bird never flies too far from the nest.”
Rebekah nodded.
“Finish your toast, Rebekah,” Elnora said, “and I will draw us some buttermilk. Then you can fly the coop.”