LONDON, 7TH MAY 1945
VICTORY ANNOUNCED
‘Cor, luv a duck, tell me what I ’eard is what I ’eard, Lil.’
Lil couldn’t answer Gillian – not in a sane way she couldn’t; instead she grasped the hands of this beloved girl and swung her round. ‘It’s over, it’s over!’ The joy inside her eclipsed what she’d felt on her discharge, even though that was on medical grounds. It even eclipsed what she’d felt when she turned into this street and came up to the door of what she’d always look on as home – Gillian’s mam’s house, as she would always think of it.
‘Ha, I can’t believe it. Bleedin’ ’ell! Oh, I wish I was with my Florrie.’
‘You should have stayed there, love. I could have seen you another time. We all knew this was imminent. Look, let’s turn the radio off and go out, eh? Folk are bound to be in the street celebrating – even the King. That’s it! Let’s go down to the Mall.’
‘Shall we? Oh, I wish Alice was here. The three of us have always said, “See you when they raise the victory flag.”’
‘Let’s call her from the phone box. If she can, I know she’ll meet us. We could meet her at the Underground entrance.’
Grabbing their coats, they didn’t wait to put them on, but struggled to do so as they walked. The clouds held rain and the wind had a chill to it, but they didn’t care, as they were caught up in a flock of folk coming out of their houses.
Cheers echoed around them, hands shook theirs and hasty plans were made about what to do tomorrow: 8th May and the official day of celebration.
‘Let’s ’ave a street party,’ one woman said. And another shouted, ‘We could ’ave a bonfire.’ To this someone else piped up, ‘As long as we don’t burn anything that can be salvaged.’ ‘Well, there’s plenty of rubbish we can clear from round here – let’s get the boys of the streets ’ereabouts onto it. They’ll enjoy that.’ ‘I reckon as my Charlie will be ’ome soon’ . . . And so the chatter went on, ringing in Lil’s ears as loudly as all the bells pealing around her, building the excitement that was bubbling up in her till she thought she would have to scream with the sheer joy of it.
‘Eeh, Gillian, imagine tomorrow, eh? A street party! It’ll be grand.’
The sight of three lads pulling a blackened beam towards them made it all seem real. Here was a remnant of war being prepared to mark the end of the war. But the sight also made Lil feel the sadness of it all. ‘Some won’t feel like having a good time, I shouldn’t wonder, Gillian. Them as have lost so much.’
‘I think they will. I think they’ll be out in force, just to show them over there that they didn’t kill our spirit.’
‘Aye, you’re reet. And that’s a lesson I learned from you down here. The spirit of the person and the place is summat no one can destroy. Not of you Londoners, they can’t. And I’m proud I was down here through it all. Well, most of it.’
‘Was it bad over in France, Lil?’
‘Aye. I’ve seen things I’ll never get out of me head. But I’ve also seen courage like I never thought could exist. So the one balances the other, I suppose.’
‘Did you never meet anyone? I know it upset you over Rusty going, but – well . . . all them soldiers!’
‘I did. I met a man, a French man – he’s called Juste. He’s a little bit younger than me . . . It’s complicated, but he is a sort of relative of Alice, only she doesn’t know that I know, so keep that bit to yourself till she sees fit to tell us about it all.’
‘A relative of Alice?’
‘Aye, I know it sounds incredible, but it’s true. Like you’ve allus said, there’s a lot about Alice that she hasn’t told us, but it’s understandable when you hear it. I can’t tell you of it. I reckon as we should wait until she thinks we should know.’
‘You’ve got me wondering now. I wished you hadn’t said anything. But anyway, tell me about your man.’
‘He isn’t my man . . . Well, not exactly. Like I said, his name is Juste, spelt J U S T E. He’s in the newly formed French Army, but was a Resistance fighter. He’s lovely. He was wounded and I nursed him. Something just sort of happened between us – a feeling. Oh, I don’t know, it’s hard to describe, but I know I can’t stop thinking about him and I miss him. I just want to be with him.’
‘Blimey, you ’ave got it bad! French, is he? But how can Alice know him? Is that where she’s been, in France? But what was she doing . . . ? Oh, Lil, was she a special agent? Them that we heard about, who were so brave in their efforts behind the enemy line?’
‘I – I . . . oh, what the hell, it’s over now. We can’t do any harm talking about it. Yes, she was. She’s a very courageous girl. We should be very proud of her.’
‘I’m proud of both of you. What you did, Lil, working in that ’ospital train – that was courageous too.’
‘Aw, lass, it didn’t feel like it; it felt very scary and horrific. But, you know, I’d still be out there and on the train if I hadn’t been injured. I’d be going to them concentration camps to help to nurse all of those poor souls that survived their incarceration. Eeh, the things we are hearing, it don’t bear thinking about. Despite the fear and the blood and gore, it fulfilled me. I knew I was doing my bit. And you did your bit an’ all, lass. You dug for victory!’
‘Ha, I bloomin’ did, too. Sometimes it felt like I’d reach Australia, I shifted that much muck.’
‘Eeh, lass, it’s good that it’s over with. Let’s forget it for one night, eh?’
‘Yes, I think we can manage that. Can I link in, or will it ’urt your shoulder?’
‘Naw, you’ll not hurt me. It’s well on the mend. Eeh, I thought me number were up when that bullet hit me. I can’t describe the pain and terror of it, but I were in the right place – none better. They soon had me fixed. The worst was having to come home when there was still so much to be done. I felt guilty leaving them all to cope and in danger, but at the same time the happiest I’d been in a long time, at the thought of coming home again.’
‘Look, we said we’d forget about it tonight, and that’s what we’ll do. There’s a phone box – let’s ring Alice.’
Lil picked up the phone and dialled her number.
‘Lil! Oh, I’ve been willing you to ring. What, Gillian’s there? Oh, that’s wonderful! Are you all right? I received your letter. Wonderful news about you and Juste. How’s your shoulder? I was planning on coming to visit, now that you are home. Mildred’s here; she’s told me bits, but of course you know that – oh, what wonderful news that was tonight!’
‘Eeh, lass, hold your horses. I can’t keep up with you.’
‘Ha! I’m sorry, I’m just so excited, and now hearing from you is the tops.’
Whatever Alice meant by that, it sounded good. ‘We were wondering if you could meet us?’
‘What, now? Yes, how marvellous, but oh . . . just a moment.’
‘What’s she say, Lil?’ asked Gillian.
‘I’m not sure.’ Alice in person was much easier to deal with than Alice on the phone!
‘What’s that? Are you all right, Lil?’
‘Yes, I am Alice. I was talking to Gillian. Can you come?’
‘I can. Steve . . . Oh, I haven’t told you. Steve’s my husband – that’s his real name. He has told me to come and see you, and he and I will celebrate tomorrow. Oh, I can’t wait to see you. I will be with you soon.’
Lil felt her world complete as they jostled with what seemed like a million and one other folk, walking, running and dancing down the Mall towards Buckingham Palace, all shouting, ‘We want the King!’ Her own throat felt sore with the chant, and yet even to be doing this and linked in with Gillian and Alice felt like something she could never have imagined.
The rain stopped the carry-on. It pelted down, drenching them. Holding their coats over their heads, they ran for shelter. Huddled together under the eaves of an empty building, they laughed off their shivers.
‘Come back to mine,’ said Alice. ‘Please, I would love you to. Mildred will be in bed, though. She was going to bed, saying that I was mad to go out and there was time enough to celebrate tomorrow.’
‘Ha – she would! Nothing fazes Mildred, or puts her out of her routine.’
‘I know. Well, what do you say? We can all have a drink, you can sleep over and then we can drive you back tomorrow. I’ve such a lot to tell you.’
‘Aye, I’m for it. Are you, Gillian?’
‘I am.’
‘Wait here then. I’ll hop over to that telephone box and call my car.’
‘You know, Lil,’ Gillian said as Alice went to make her phone call, ‘now that the war’s over, Alice seems a world apart from us.’
‘Naw – never think that. Oh, I know we aren’t of her station, but she’s of ours. She can cross the divide, and she does. We must never become in awe of her, for that would put a rift in our friendship. She wants us to think ourselves the same as her, and I reckon we can. We’ve all been through the mill together, and we’ve come out as one.’
‘You’re right, Lil. It just makes me feel uncomfortable, her sending for her car. And I won’t know how to act when we get to her house.’
‘Just be yourself. This is Alice you’re talking about. Our Alice – she’s got no side to her. She’s just lived a different life, that’s all. And it’ll be good to meet her man. Steve, she said he is called.’
Not ten minutes later they were sitting in the most beautiful room Lil had ever seen, in front of a log fire that crackled, sending smoke up the chimney. Lil herself felt some of what Gillian had felt – that there was a difference between them and Alice. And with the realization came a shyness. It made her lose her natural way of chatting and caused her to answer Steve’s questions with just a yes or a no.
Alice broke the ice. She sat down with her glass of sherry and said, ‘Eeh, this’ll warm your cockles, it’s better than all your Rosie Lees!’
Steve’s face was a picture. Gillian let out a pensive giggle, but the mixed-up northern and London accent tickled Lil, so that she burst out laughing. The rest of them joined in, but such was the release that Lil couldn’t stop. Her laughter infected the others, till they were all doubled up.
‘By, it takes summat to get a night’s sleep in this house!
What’s to do with you all?’
Mildred stood in the doorway with curlers sticking out of her hairnet and a long dressing gown on. Seeing her undid the final knot of tension inside Lil, and she laughed so much her stomach hurt.
‘Give over! You’re acting like a lot of young ’uns.’
‘Eeh, Mildred – Ma. Eeh, come here and give me a hug.’
‘You daft ha’p’orth.’ This was smothered as Lil pulled Mildred to her. ‘By, Ma, it’s good to laugh.’
‘Aye, and it’s good to hear you all. But at this time of night!’
‘You’ve just got the grumps because you’ve missed out. Well, you needn’t – let’s pour you a sherry.’
‘I’d rather have a drop of port. I’m partial to port.’
This easy exchange amongst the four of them made Lil decide that, no matter where they were, she and Alice could and would always be the same together.
‘Well, time to catch up. You first, Lil, tell us all about you and Juste.’
At this from Alice, Steve stood up. ‘Time for me to say goodnight, my lovely ladies. Your company on this historical night has been a pleasure, but to sit through your gossiping is something I’m not cut out for.’
It pained Lil to see the difficulty Steve had getting up. But he did it with dignity and something about his struggle reminded her of how they’d all been in the same boat, and nothing had separated the classes then. Oh, there’d been ranks – that had been necessary; but no real class system, not in her line of work. A dying man was a dying man, whether he was a rich one or not. Suddenly she wondered how Steve and Alice would celebrate tomorrow. Theirs would probably be a stilted affair with champagne, and nowhere near as much fun as she, Mildred and Gillian would have in the East End.
‘Alice, why don’t you and Steve come to our street party tomorrow?’ What made her ask she didn’t know, but now that she had, she felt glad, because Alice jumped at it.
‘Oh, that would be wonderful – a real street party. I’ve never been to one. Shall we, Steve?’
‘I’d love to. Thanks, Lil, that would be a real way to celebrate. Thank you.’
‘That’s settled then. What shall we bring?’
‘Everything and anything you like, Alice. Food, drink, banners if you can get hold of them. And the staff, if they haven’t got their own party to go to.’
‘Right. Say goodnight to Steve and let’s settle down for a women-only chat.’ Alice pulled a bell and a man, presumably a servant, came through. He half-bowed to them all and then held the door for Steve as Alice said, ‘Goodnight, darling. See you in the morning.’ And then to the man, ‘That will be all for today. Tell all the staff they can retire now.’
Lil caught a glance from Gillian, but didn’t react to it. With the door closed behind Steve, Alice said in a voice that was commanding, ‘Now, Lil . . .’
‘Juste?’
‘Yes. You can’t keep us in suspense any longer.’
Telling them all how her friendship with Juste had developed into the two of them falling in love brought him back to Lil, and her heart ached to have him near. He was still engaged in the fighting, and she wanted him safe. ‘We plan to marry, once things get back to normal. You know, when he’s out of the Army and I’m properly discharged – when I have me papers in me hand. That shouldn’t be long now. But Juste . . .’
‘What does he look like, Lil?’ Gillian asked.
‘I have a photo of him here.’ They all oohed and aahed over the picture of him, even Alice, as she said she’d never seen Juste look like that, smartly dressed and yet casual, with his shirt bloused over his trousers and his hair tousled. ‘He was always in his partisan uniform of grey boilersuit-type dress, and was often dirty and unkempt,’ she told them. ‘I hadn’t realized he was that handsome. He looks like his mother. And speaking of his mother, I – I have something to tell you about Elsbeth . . . Juste’s mother.’
Tears flowed down Gillian’s cheeks as the story unfolded. As for Lil, she couldn’t cry, though the story held such a lot of sadness, but for a long time now she hadn’t found it easy to give way to her emotions. She could see the same tightness in Alice. Mildred sniffed more than once, but she was another one who daren’t let go.
‘Poor Gertrude! And your dad. And, oh, Alice, I don’t know what to say . . .’
‘Well, I do, Lil. I blame that mother of yours, Alice. She likely could have prevented all of this happening.’
‘I have done the same for a long time, Mildred, but in the end I’ve come to see that many were to blame, except Gertrude. Gertrude did nothing wrong. She remained loyal, even though she fell in love with Herr Eberhardt. But Juste and I are committed to exposing the truth, and one day we will.’
Thinking it looked hopeless, Lil just smiled at Alice. Alice shrugged, but in it there was no hint of her quest being a lost cause; instead a strong determination shone through.
Lil had been dreading the next question that Mildred asked, but she knew it had to come sometime.
‘What about you, love, did you find your young man?’ Mildred asked Gillian.
Holding her head high, Gillian said, ‘No, Mildred. I never want to find one, either. I couldn’t bear ’aving one near me – not after the rape. Not in that way. I ’ave some male mates, but that’s as far as it goes. But I did find the love of me life, Florrie . . .’
Mildred choked on the sip of port she had taken, spurting sprays of it near and far. Everyone ducked. A silence fell. Lil felt a prickly feeling creep up her neck. Why did Gillian have to be so open about it?
‘She’s lovely. I really liked her when I met her.’ This came from Alice, but it didn’t ease the situation.
‘Luv a duck, you’d think I’d said I’d fallen for Hitler! It happens. Some men like men and some women like women. Oh, it ain’t accepted, but if you three can’t do that, then we’ll have to part company, because I’m not giving up Florrie for no one.’ Gillian’s bottom lip quivered as she looked from one to the other.
‘We’ll learn, Gillian – we will. It’s summat as I hadn’t heard of, and it don’t seem natural, but if that’s what you’re about, then that’s that. I love you like a sister and that will allus stand.’
‘Thanks, Lil. I know it is a shock, and I know it has to be kept under the carpet. And I won’t embarrass you all. Me and Florrie don’t show our affection in public – we can’t. But that don’t mean we ’ave to give each other up. She don’t expect to come to your weddings or anything, but I didn’t want to live a lie: not with you three. You’re me bleedin’ family, ain’t you?’
‘We are. And I have known relationships like yours at school. I didn’t know what they did – well, to be honest, I knew nothing about what a man and woman did together, either. But I learned. I learned in a horrible way what women did together, and it is my own experiences that have repulsed me. But I am not repulsed by your own and Florrie’s relationship, and I would love to have you both at my wedding.’
Once more Alice had shocked them, but as she didn’t seem to want to say any more, Lil filled the gap, ‘And at mine.’ Knowing that Alice was already married, she looked over at her, willing her to reveal that she was already married and to prevent the silence from taking root, but it was Mildred who spoke up.
‘And, if I were getting married, which I’m not and never will, you could both come to that an’ all. Aye, it was a shock to hear, but not to know of. I’ve seen it all. But you’re right to keep it private – folk would hound you.’
‘Thanks. And I’m sorry you had a bad experience, Alice. It doesn’t ’ave to be like that.’
‘I’m sure it doesn’t. You look very happy with Florrie and she adores you, I can see that. I’ll tell you all what happened one day, but I’ve drained myself tonight. I just want to say that Steve and I are married. We had to marry in secret, for a number of reasons, but we intend to have a big church wedding soon, and I want you, Lil, and you, Gillian, and Florrie to be my bridesmaids!’
This took the weight off the moment, amidst congratulatory hugs and more tears from Gillian. Lil wondered how she ever thought there could be a rift between Alice and them. Now she knew for sure there never could be.