“Come in me. Come in me, please!” I beg Aaron because I know that’s what he wants.
It’s Sunday. Rush week is over, and today, the brothers place bids on new pledges for who they want to join Alpha Theta Mu, so this performance is critical.
Aaron snuck me into his room earlier because brothers aren’t allowed to fraternize with any potential pledges before the bid meeting. I think that’s why Aaron’s so hard right now. He likes that this is deviant. That he’s violating the rules and me at the same time.
He grips onto the cable ties around my wrists, which are bound behind my back. He pushes me down so that my chest lies flat on the mattress as he fucks me. The cable ties are too tight, but he obviously intended for them to be since my encouragement to keep them loose didn’t seem to register when he was putting them on. This is his way, and I haven’t discouraged it because I don’t want to scare him off. I need him if I want to be close to Brad.
He leans down and licks behind my ear. As his saliva taints my flesh, I feel disgusting for what I’m doing. That I’m letting him use and abuse me like this. That I’m about to be filled with him because of my obsession with someone who’s been a dick to me ever since our first sexual encounter.
His cock burns inside me because of his less-than-generous use of lube. I think about how I wish I could shake off my feelings for Brad. It’s too late for me, though. I’ve never felt this sort of burning passion before. Never felt anything that life-giving. Anything that made me feel as if, for a moment, all the worries and stresses I’d ever felt had vanished and been replaced with just that moment. Brad freed me, and I need that again. I need to feel that ease. And if I can’t get it through Brad, I don’t know if I’ll ever feel that way again.
I feel the push that lets me know Aaron is coming. He collapses on top of me. Panting. Grunting. The rank scent of his sweat hits my nostrils like the stench of garbage.
After we clean up and get dressed, he guides me back downstairs, carefully playing lookout to make sure no one catches my escape. We enter a study with an oval table that seats over a dozen chairs. Guiding me to the window that I snuck in through, I open it. As I’m about to climb through, he snatches my wrist and pulls me to him. He forces a kiss, reminding me that there’s no chemistry between us. I wonder how he feels. Is there some spark that he thinks is between us? Or does he get off knowing that I’m not into it? That he thinks I’m just using him to get into Alpha Theta Mu?
A click. Sounds like someone coming in.
“Shit,” Aaron mutters.
I duck down.
“Hey!” Aaron calls.
“Hey, man.” Brad’s voice is a sweet melody as it hits my ears. “I went ahead and rounded everyone up so we could go over a few things before the meeting. I tried to text you, but I—”
“Great,” Aaron says.
I crawl under the table. I can hide here until everyone clears out.
The guys shuffle in and take seats. I recognize Brad’s boat shoes and his light strands of leg hair from the orientation. He stands behind a chair.
“Tonight’s really important for us,” he says. “Considering the incident we had last year, we can’t afford to take on any pledges who might have questionable pasts.”
A brothers hanged himself in his dormitory during one of the fraternity’s spring formals. When the autopsy revealed various injuries across his body, the media had a field day. Though the injuries were concerning, the medical examiner determined that the death was a suicide. That didn’t keep the press from making accusations of foul play, though. Or claiming that potentially excessive hazing had led the guy, who had a history of suicidal ideation, to taking his own life. That in mind, it makes sense that they’re concerned about their new pledges.
“I don’t want to bring this up around the brothers,” Brad continues, “because I don’t want to keep opening old wounds, but I think we should do our best to discourage the others from choosing guys who could potentially be problematic. Anyone who has any previous history of serious mental illness.”
“Agreed,” Aaron says as he takes a seat behind me. “Vice Archon and I have pulled out a few who we’ve noticed have seemed more problematic than the rest. We’ve done some background checks.”
“Can you do that?” I recognize Tad’s voice. He sounds baffled. Amused, even. Like he’s waiting for Aaron to admit he’s just kidding.
If they ran one on me, I’m fucked. But if that was the case, I wouldn’t be here right now. Aaron would have found a way to get me out of here or convinced them to take the meeting somewhere else. And why would he need to check me out when he liked me? I’m suddenly relieved that I’ve been fucking him all this time.
“We did what we had to do,” Aaron says. “We’re not taking any risks this year. We want to make sure we know about any concerning psychological histories or even criminal records. It’s something we should have already been doing. If we had, we wouldn’t have pledged Keegan Rafferty and gotten all that heat last year over something that had nothing to do with us.”
“But this isn’t exactly on the level,” Tad says.
“We have to protect Alpha Theta Mu. Rayden University doesn’t give a shit about if we make it through this year or not, and with the scrutiny that’s going to be on us, we need to make sure that we do everything we can to ensure that this is a good PR year for us. So we all need to agree that we don’t need to give the university a reason to fuck us over. This is something that has to be done. Does anyone disagree with that?”
Their silence suggests their agreement.
“Brad will review these names, and tonight we will find polite ways of dismissing any of the ones who have dubious pasts. We’ve already decided how each one will be objected to. If anyone wants to drop this idea altogether, and put Alpha Theta Mu at risk, you should speak up now.”
No objections. Strange to think that Aaron knows I’m down here and isn’t worried about saying this in front of me. I guess I don’t have to worry about pledging. There’s no way he’d be willing to let me in on something like this unless he trusted me. If he really trusts me, though, I feel terrible because I’m not here for him.
Brad settles in the chair opposite of Aaron and reviews some of the names, presumably from a file or folder. It’s unsettling to think they’ve been digging around in our pasts. What if Aaron looked into mine? What if he’s just keeping it from the other guys? But if he had, he would have brought it up. I doubt anyone could look into my past without becoming seriously concerned about my mental wellbeing.
I crawl and sit before Brad’s feet, as if I’m his pet dog. I want him. So bad. I gaze at his shorts, imagining how nice it would be to yank them down and suck him off.
A greedy impulse stirs within me. I can’t help myself. I stroke my hand down his leg.
He silences midsentence.
I didn’t think that through. If he says anything—if he so much as thinks this is some sort of gag and tries to discover the source of the touch—I won’t wind up pledging for sure. Aaron won’t be able to protect me once they discover he’s broken the rules. Thinking quickly of a way to let him know it’s me, I tuck my face against his leg the way I tucked my face against his chest after we fucked that first time. It’s a gentle nudge. Something I’m not even sure he’ll pick up on. But I hope it’s enough.
He coughs and continues reading through his information about one of the prospective pledges.
What the fuck is he doing?
While I reviewed the list of guys Aaron and I added to our shit-list last night, I felt something on my leg. The stroke of a hand. My gut instinct told me it was a prank. I acted calm because if the guys saw me freak, they’d get a good laugh out of it. And I wasn’t going to give them the goddamn satisfaction. Then I felt something familiar—something that assured me it wasn’t a prank. I remembered it all too well from when Ian curled up against me and tucked his face against my chest after we fucked in my orientation adviser’s office. We lay on the desk together when he did it. It wasn’t the way a guy touches someone he just wants to fuck. It was affectionate. What I hated even more about it is how much I wanted him to touch me like that.
I look at Aaron. I’m pissed. He’s broken the rules, and he’s broken it with my Ian, who whether I like it or not is definitely getting through tonight. I tried to fight it. Aaron hasn’t understood my issue from the get-go. When he asked about my first slight against him, I said I thought Ian was a privileged asshole. But my opinion doesn’t match the other brothers’ feelings. Everyone likes him. He’s sociable. Fun. I hoped that when Aaron mentioned background checks, we’d get one on him and find something that would prevent his entry, but Aaron refused. I did one on my own, though, and after what I discovered, I know if we’d gone that route, Ian would’ve been blackballed for sure. I’ve considered blowing his cover. Telling Aaron what I’ve discovered. But if I did, Aaron would start to wonder about my obsession with his new boy-toy.
It would’ve been so much easier if I could have blackballed him, but I have to accept that I have to find a way to bear being around him for the rest of the year. And unfortunately, despite my frustration, I’m thrilled about it.
He massages my crotch, and I know my stiffening erection will only encourage him. I’d feel bad about betraying Aaron if it wasn’t his goddamn fault that I’m in this mess to begin with. I considered telling him about orientation when I was urging him to get a background check on Ian, but it was too late for the reveal. I’d come too far to start dishing out the truth.
Ian undoes the button on my shorts and unzips them. His movements are slow enough that he doesn’t make any noise, and I raise my voice as I review the prospective pledges to keep anyone from hearing any unintended sounds he might make.
A rush of confidence sweeps through me.
I won’t deny Ian this. Because I want it too much. If I get just another taste, maybe I’ll see that it isn’t as incredible as I thought it was before.
But what if the guys catch on? Surely, I can’t make it through this meeting without anyone figuring out what’s up. Especially if Aaron is right across from us.
I lift my ass up as Ian slides my shorts and briefs down to my ankles.
Between the excitement of having this opportunity and the adrenaline from knowing how easily we could get caught, my dick is painfully hard. So hard I wish I could just rub one out before letting Ian do anything because I’m liable to blow any second now.
I feel warm lips around my dick. He wets it, lubing it up before pulling back, leaving me in unbearable suspense. As I continue reading, I reach under the table for his hair. I want to snatch it and force him back onto my cock, but when I don’t feel him, I give up because anymore effort will give me away.
I wait impatiently for him to offer something. Anything. He’s teasing me. Playing with my mind. Punishing me for ignoring him. For fucking his best friend. He has every right to hurt me like this, but all I want to do is stop this meeting and fuck the shit out of him.
I feel his hand grip my shaft and stroke up and down.
Sweat starts down my forehead.
I wipe it off as I continue discussing the particular pledge I’m on, trying to seem competent because if Aaron catches on, I’m a dead man.
Ripples of sensation race up my pelvis, exciting me further, and as I feel Ian’s mouth join his hand’s work, I feel for his hair and grip onto it. He’s not getting away again. If this is the only chance I have with him, I’m taking it.
He works with what little range he has, compensating with skillful licks. Teasing the head. Sliding up and down the shaft.
I feel my come working its way from my balls through my shaft. The tension it creates forces me to rock my pelvis to help it on its way.
I wipe away some more sweat on my forehead before I move on to the next sheet with details about the potentials we’re dismissing. I feel I appear even more competent than usual because I’m working so hard to keep anyone from discovering the ruse.
I look directly into Aaron’s eyes. He has a smug look on his face. Like he knows he’s getting away with something. I can’t help but delight in this even more. Knowing that Ian is still mine. The appreciation is bittersweet because I’m not eager to betray my brother. Not after everything Aaron has done for me. And he’s done more than I could ever repay him for.
I can stop this at any time. All I have to do is pull him away, but I won’t.
As I feel myself climaxing, I want to jerk about wildly and unleash all the passion that builds within me, but I have to show as little as possible. I grip tighter onto the folder with one hand and onto Ian’s hair with the other as I explode into his mouth.
“Fuck...fuck...I just lost where I’m at,” I say.
I cling to his hair, holding his head in place.
As I regroup and continue reading, I release him. He pulls his mouth back, and his tongue runs across the head of my dick. My cock’s so hypersensitive. I want to grab him by the hair and force him away, but he spends his time there, trying to get all my come into his mouth.
Such a good fucking bottom. He could be mine, but he can’t be. And that makes the experience I just allowed myself to have even worse.
The fleeting moment of passion and ecstasy devolves into guilt and shame.
Whatever game Ian and me are playing, I’m losing.