These were actually uttered on the air by sports announcers.
“He dribbles a lot and the opposition don’t like it—you can see it all over their faces.”
—Ron Atkinson,
soccer announcer
“This is really a lovely horse, I once rode her mother.”
—Ted Walsh,
horse racing announcer
“And here’s Moses Kiptanui, the 19-year-old Kenyan, who turned 20 a few weeks ago.”
— David Coleman,
track and field announcer
“We now have exactly the same situation as we had at the start of the race, only exactly the opposite.”
—Murray Walker,
motor sports announcer
“It’s a partial sellout.”
—Chip Caray,
baseball announcer
“The Phillies beat the Cubs today in a doubleheader. That puts another keg in the Cubs’ coffin.”
—Jerry Coleman,
baseball announcer
“Anytime Detroit scores more than 100 points and holds the other team below 100 points, they almost always win.”
—Doug Collins,
basketball analyst
“There are no opportune times for a penalty, and this is not one of those times.”
—Jack Youngblood,
soccer announcer
“Coming on to pitch is Mike Moore, who is six-foot-one and 212 years old.”
— Herb Score,
baseball announcer
“That was a complicated play, folks. So let’s have a replay for all of you scoring in bed.”
—Bob Kelly,
hockey announcer
“He slud into third.”
—Dizzy Dean,
baseball announcer
“We’ll be back with the recrap after this message.”
—Ralph Kiner,
baseball announcer
First animated characters on TV commercials: the Ajax pixies. They sold cleanser.