THE LAST LAUGH: EPITAPHS

Some unusual epitaphs and tombstones from the U.S. and Europe, sent in by our crew of wandering BRI tombstonologists.

In Arizona:
Ezikel Height

Here lies young Ezikel Height

Died from jumping Jim Smith’s claim;

Didn’t happen at the mining site,

The claim he jumped, was Jim Smith’s dame.

In England:
Mike O’Day

This is the grave of Mike O’Day

Who died maintaining his right of way.

His right was clear, his will was strong.

But he’s just as dead as if he’d been wrong.

In Guilford, Vermont:
Henry Clay Barney

My life’s been hard

And all things show it;

I always thought so

And now I know it.

In Georgia:
Anonymous

Due to lack of ground in this cemetery,

Two bodies are buried in this one plot.

One of them was a politician,

The other was an honest man.

In England:
Emily White

Here lies the body of Emily White,

She signalled left, and then turned right.

In Vermont:
John Barnes

Sacred to the memory of my husband John Barnes

Who died January 3, 1803

His comely young widow, aged 23,

Has many qualifications of a good wife,

And yearns to be comforted.

In England:
Anonymous

It is so soon that I am done for,

I wonder what I was begun for.

In England:
Anonymous

Stop stranger as you pass by

As you are now so once was I

As I am now so will you be

So be prepared to follow me.

In Vermont:
Anonymous

Here lies our darling baby boy

He never cries nor hollers.

He lived for one and twenty days

And cost us forty dollars.

In Pawtucket, Rhode Island (on a boulder):
William P. Rothwell

This is on me.

Among the artifacts Columbus brought back from his second voyage: a swordfish sword.