Some things in life should go without saying, but there’s
always the occasional moron who needs to be told
not to use a blowtorch while sleeping.
On a Duraflame fireplace log: “Caution—Risk of Fire.”
On a compact disc player: “Do not use the Ultradisc 2000 as a projectile in a catapult.”
On a propane blowtorch: “Never use while sleeping.”
On a box of rat poison: “Warning: Has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice.”
On an air conditioner: “Avoid dropping air conditioners out of windows.”
On a vacuum cleaner: “Do not use to pick up anything that is currently burning.”
On a Batman costume: “Warning: Cape does not enable user to fly.”
On a bottle of hair coloring: “Do not use as an ice cream topping.”
On a curling iron: “Warning: This product can burn eyes.”
On a cardboard sunshield for a car: “Do not drive with sunshield in place.”
On a toner cartridge: “Do not eat toner.”
On a toilet bowl cleaning brush: “Do not use orally.”
On a pair of shin guards: “Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover.”
On a portable stroller: “Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage.”
On a plastic, 13-inch wheelbarrow wheel: “Not intended for highway use.”
On a laser pointer: “Do not look into laser with remaining eye.”
In a microwave oven manual: “Do not use for drying pets.”
In the instructions for a digital thermometer: “Do not use orally after using rectally.”
First state to require license plates on cars: New York, in 1901.