UNCLE JOHN’S AHH-INSPIRING
BATHROOM READER®
Copyright © 2002 by the Bathroom Readers’ Press (a division of Portable Press). All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.
“Bathroom Reader” and “Bathroom Readers’ Institute” are registered trademarks of Baker & Taylor.
All rights reserved.
For information, write
The Bathroom Readers’ Institute
P.O. Box 1117, Ashland, OR 97520
www.bathroomreader.com
541-488-4642
Cover design by Michael Brunsfeld,
San Rafael, CA (Brunsfeldo@comcast.net)
BRI “technician” on back cover: Larry Kelp
Uncle John’s
Ahh-Inspiring Bathroom Reader®
by The Bathroom Readers’ Institute
ISBN-13: 978-1-60710-462-9
E-book edition: November 2011
“Once you can accept the universe as matter
expanding into nothing that is something,
wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.”
—Albert Einstein
“Parliamentary Manners” by Scott Feschuk, Paul Mather, and Peter McBain as “Ask Miss Parliamentary Manners” in the National Post: This Week In Review, April 27, 2002. © National Post. Reprinted with permission.
“How to Toilet Train Your Cat” by Karawynn Long, found on her website www.karawynn.net/mishacat/toilet.
“Buried Treasure in the U.S.” from THE PEOPLE’S ALMANAC © 1975 by David Wallechinsky and Irving Wallace. Reprinted with the kind permission of the authors.
Here are a few books the BRI’s Throne Room would be empty without:
Lies Across America, by James W. Loewen, and author of the bestselling Lies My Teacher Told Me. Copyright © 1999.
An Underground Education, by Richard Zacks. Copyright © 1997 by Richard Zacks.
Joke Stew: 1,349 More Hilarious Servings from Today’s Hottest Comedians, edited by Judy Brown. Copyright © 2000.
It’s a Conspiracy! by the National Insecurity Council, Copyright 1992 by Michael Litchfield; published by EarthWorks Press.
What’s the Number for 911? by Leland Gregory III Copyright © 2000. Andrews & McMeel Publishing.
A special thanks to some regular readers for submitting good stuff:
Max L. Israel
Sera Kirk
Gavin Sheehan
Joel & Wendy McNeil
Dean Bliss
Mike Schuster
Adam Brucker
Jonathan Gewirtz
Charles Surine
Roger Shaheen
David Whitman
Dee & Kellar Smith
Chris O’Rourke
Joe Gayeski
Janet K. Behning
Patte Rosebank
Aaron Allermann
Glen & Janese Granholm