I was 24 years old when I started my business. (Nowadays, I joke that I didn’t realise I was starting a business). I was fresh out of nutrition college. In fact, I’d been offered a job as the sole nutritionist in a multidisciplinary clinic a month before I graduated.
I’d been emailing clinics, looking for admin work while I was completing my nutrition studies. I was still studying some naturopathy subjects to add onto my accreditation, and thought that if I worked as a receptionist while I built up my client base on the side, that might be a nice way to ease into my new business.
But the Universe had other plans. I received a reply that said, ‘We’re not looking for receptionists, but would you like to be our nutritionist?’
Um, that could work.
I had a month between graduating and my first day in my new clinic. When I got to work that first day, 24 May 2011, I had no clients booked in. Not one. But I showed up anyway, because I was too excited not to. I believed that if I showed up and spent time in the clinic, even if I had no clients booked in, I’d be showing the Universe I was serious about this. I’d also use the time to take action to draw clients towards me. (And, I assumed, make a lot of tea in the meantime.)
As I was getting ready to leave for the day, my clinic director popped her head into my room. With a smile on her face, she said, ‘Check your calendar.’ A new client had booked in for that evening. My hubby had told someone in his office that I was working as a nutritionist, and she’d picked up the phone and made an appointment straightaway.
And just like that *snaps fingers* my business began.
Since that day, my business has evolved from nutrition and naturopathy to kinesiology, as well as life and business alignment coaching, writing and speaking. It has shifted from a wellness focus, to focusing on energy, emotions and creativity.
Now, the work I do blends personal and business development with energy alignment. Now, the work I do lights me up, more than ever before.
Nutrition and naturopathy were simply how my business began. Actually, not quite—this wasn’t really the beginning of my creative career at all. As we’ll go through soon, using our skills means we use all our skills ...
The rest of the story is how it evolved. The rest of the story is everything that came after my decision to begin a business, with no clients and a buzzing mix of anticipation, expansion and fear. The anticipation of starting something new, something I’d worked so hard to begin, and something I felt so drawn to.
The expansion … that feeling of opening up to what’s next, knowing this is exactly what your soul needs for its next level of growth.
And the fear … of course, the fear! The fear of: ‘But what if no-one wants to work with me? What if I’m terrible at this? What if I put everything into it, and lose it all? What if this is an absolute failure? What if I am an absolute failure?’
But I did it anyway. Because, as we’ll go through in these pages, feeling that fear—or worry, nervousness, overwhelm, perfectionism, procrastination or whatever else you’re feeling—and doing it anyway, getting to the other side of it, is one of the best feelings in the world. It’s the feeling I seek and search for, the one I bow in gratitude to, the one that makes me feel full and whole and on purpose, the one that whispers to me to keep going.
That feeling is how we grow. It’s okay and normal and common to feel the fear. But what’s not common is you, and your voice, and your gifts. And that’s what you’re asked to reveal when you show up for yourself, when you speak up, and when you move through the resistance that sometimes asks you to be quiet, or to quit, or to procrastinate, or to keep pushing things to the side.
Sure, there’s always ‘tomorrow’. But how would it feel if tomorrow you could work on speaking up again, instead of for the first time? What if every tomorrow were filled with you using your voice, sharing your gifts, and emptying yourself of your best work to fill yourself to the brim?
It doesn’t matter where you’ve come from, because you’re here now. And if you’re here, it’s because you know there’s something (or many things) for you to make and create, share and release. It might be through your business, your career, your writing, or your art. It may simply—importantly—be through you, and your voice.
But no matter the vessel or vehicle of your voice, if you’re here, it’s time to tune into it and trust it. And to know that finally, and always, you’ve got this. It’s your time. So, let’s do this.
It doesn’t matter how many businesses you’ve started and not stayed in, how many art projects you’ve left unfinished, how many blog posts are sitting unpublished on your website, or how many times you’ve told yourself you can’t.
It doesn’t matter where you’ve come from, because you’re here now. And now is the moment you decide what you’ll tell yourself next.
You may have to change your inner talk more than once, but now is the moment you give yourself permission to forgive yourself for all the things you think you haven’t done, or made, or created, or finished; for all the paths you think you should’ve trodden; for all the places you think you should already be.
Now is the time to recognise that all those loose ends, all that confusion about what to do next, all those unfinished blog posts or art projects or businesses were necessary for you to get you to this point, where you decide to start again; and this time, to show yourself you can.
Use that unfinished work, those not-quite-completed works of art, those barely laid paths, to fuel your future work. Let the bricks you didn’t finish laying become the framework for the path you build going forwards. You are not a failure because you didn’t finish something. Instead, how wonderful it is that you let go of something that wasn’t feeling right to you.
Years ago, when I was finding it really hard to find a happy weight, I went to see a naturopath (before I’d graduated as one myself). She told me something that can be applied to so many areas of our lives, and has stayed with me ever since. She told me that if I wanted to lose weight, I had to let go of my defeatist attitude; that when I believed I could lose weight, I’d be so much closer to making the changes that would allow that to happen. I had to change my thoughts, energy and mindset, before I could affect change in my reality. But if I stayed feeling stuck and defeated, then my attitude would reflect my results.
My first response to her saying this was: ‘Yes, that sounds lovely, but I’ve tried all that before, and the reason I’m here is because that didn’t work for me. It must be something else.’
Though even as I spoke those words, I realised that she was right. I had to change my thoughts, energy and mindset, before I could affect change in my reality.
So I invite you to do the same thing here, in relation to your writing, creativity and business; in relation to your path, purpose and gifts; in relation to whatever you’re wishing to create and receive, dream up and call in. I ask you to leave your past ‘failures’ at the door, and see them as catalysts for your growth.
When we let ourselves start where we are, while also acknowledging what’s come before this moment, we give ourselves the best possible chance to continue moving towards what we’re wishing to create.
By staying stuck in the past, in the ‘coulda, woulda, shoulda’ vibes of resentment and regret, we continue to live out our past stories; we continue to tell ourselves that ‘one day’ things will change, but we don’t take responsibility for starting to create the change from within, today.
Everything you’ve done has brought you to this point. From this point on, everything else is possible. Bravo to that!
Think of three situations you’ve experienced that didn’t quite go to (your) plan, and the reasons you’re grateful you had them. Did they leave you in an unexpected but wonderful place? Did they teach you a hard but brilliant lesson? Did they help you move forwards in an even more aligned direction?
Grab your journal or a notebook (hey, even the Notes section in your phone will do, although there’s something cathartic about putting pen to paper) and get writing.
Then, do this: