When we have a strong drive and desire to honour our dreams, and to do the work that’ll support us in reaching them, we can also become a little attached to them. We may start to believe that the only way to make our dreams come true is to hustle to burnout; or fight tooth and nail for them; or ignore everything else except our goals; or map them out exactly, so that nothing could possibly go wrong. (That’s how it works, right?)
We think our plan is the ‘only’ plan. We stop believing in our internal compass of success and put all our eggs in one basket—that basket of belief that says our dreams can and will only come true if we focus single-mindedly on them. It’s as if we’re trying to control them, by focusing on the one way they can come true.
So what might happen, if those dreams you’re dreaming about don’t happen? What would happen if a curveball was thrown your way? If the path was to suddenly split before your very eyes, giving you an option you didn’t think you had? If things didn’t go to plan, so your confidence felt as burnt as that toast you forgot about this morning? (Or was that just me?)
What I’ve found, through example and experience, is that having a deep belief and a light attachment to our dreams is how we can continue to find the power to believe in ourselves and work towards our goals. Then if things don’t go to (your) plan, you’re still okay. You haven’t pinned everything on just one dream, and so your dreams live on.
Envisioning your future (visioning it, and feeling into it, and seeing yourself right where you want to be) is important and necessary, but so is trusting that things will pan out as they’re supposed to, for your highest good, even if that absolutely sucks in the moment.
You know that old saying about a journey of a thousand miles beginning with a single step?
Embodying deep belief and light attachment is about enjoying the journey—loving the process of building your biz, of writing your book, of creating the fabric pattern, of painting your art, of evolving your career, whatever it is—so that all your hopes and dreams don’t depend on the outcome.
You can be happy now; you can be proud now; you can be successful now.
One more thing … sometimes commanding yourself to be less attached creates even more attachment. So make sure to ask yourself gently.
Whenever I have let go of an outcome, I’ve allowed myself to flow and receive more than I ever could have, had I stayed in the place of attachment. It can feel counterintuitive—to let go, in order to receive. Doubt can seep in: But if I let go, how can I call it in? That makes no sense. And so it’s in that space, the space that has you questioning your own power, where you must fill yourself up with trust and belief, letting go of the notion that this is only up to you.
Remember that while you can’t control everything, you can always stay in your power with what you’re creating and calling in.
You have to let go of what Control says: ‘I want things to turn out exactly like this … I’ll decide how things should go.’ Instead, you have to lean into what Power says: ‘I’ll show up as best I can. Whatever happens, I have the power to be okay, from within.’
Trying to control your dreams, or an outcome, or the details you don’t know yet, can make you leak and leach and lose your power.
On the flip side, when you realise you always have the power to uplift your thoughts, to not buy into your inner critic’s chatter, to align your energy, and to stay directed towards your bigger picture, you give power to your most powerful self. When you stay in your power, you can make the changes (and say the words, and do the things) that make all the difference.
Control is an illusion; your power is what matters. By uncovering and taking this on board, I have allowed myself to fill the space of attachment with one of deep belief that ‘I’ve got this’ but also that, if I don’t, I’ll still be okay; I’ll course-correct and learn from the experience.
Something doesn’t have to go wrong for you to learn from it; your trust can teach you things too.
Having a deep belief doesn’t mean you’re trying to set your future in stone. You can’t anyway—it’s fluid and ever-changing, because we have free will and there is always synchronicity at play. Acknowledging this helps you show up with more soul and less entitlement (that sense that you ‘should’ receive what you expect, because you worked so hard for it).
Of course you worked for it. Of course you put love and devotion on the line. Of course you showed up. But that doesn’t mean you ‘deserve’ things to go your way.
Entitlement is a pre-emptive request for what we desire. It demands that we receive ‘just because’. It tricks our ego into thinking that success is linked to our external achievements and nothing else. It unconsciously places huge pressure on ourselves to achieve perfection, when perfection is unattainable. It’s the opposite of showing up with soul and saying, ‘I’m here and I’m doing the work. It might work, and it might not. But still, here I stand.’
Becoming aligned and unstoppable while you work towards your dreams, actualise your goals and ground yourself in the new vision of what you’re creating takes a collaborative effort. You are co-creating this vision with the Universe and a deeper, higher power, but you are also always choosing yourself.
You are blending fate and free will. You know that while this isn’t only up to you, you have to take action to turn the milk of your dreams into the butter of your future.
When you allow yourself to enjoy this process and release the outcome; when you have a deep belief in yourself and in what you’re creating; and when you have a light attachment of how it’ll be perceived outside of yourself, only then can you keep showing up, keep creating, keep making, and keep believing in yourself and what you’re co-creating and calling in.
I believe in myself and what I’m co-creating and calling in. I trust in my own power, in my own free will, and in how my dreams are being supported by something greater than myself.