I once went to see an energy healer I really trusted and looked up to. I’d been on a real roll in my business; after years of hard work, it felt like things were starting to pay off for me. I was relishing all the opportunities, wonderful clients and money I’d spent years making space for—and was now allowing myself to receive—in my life and business.
I’d been working on a big new project and was about to launch it. I went to see this practitioner for support prior to the launch; but after the session, I really wished I hadn’t.
Let me explain something first. Kinesiology is energy and alignment work—it’s not a tool to foretell the future. If you want to work towards something, but a block might be holding you back, we can work to clear it, align your energy, and change your thought patterns. This in turn can change your actions and help you come back into alignment, so that you can move forwards with more ease and flow, always helping you stay connected to yourself, your source of power, and your free will.
With the kind of kinesiology alignment work I do, if a client comes to me with a goal—whether it’s a personal goal, or a business, career or work goal, or anything else they’re working towards—my intention is always to support them to clear their own way, shift out of negative patterns, and deepen their self-trust and self-confidence, to allow themselves to reach their goals (or something better).
They can then take action from a place of confidence. They can make the changes that’ll make all the difference. They can let go, move forwards, lean into what they desire—they can feel free to expand into the best version of themselves.
If the outcomes of their goals don’t go to (their) plan, we work on acceptance of that, course-correct, ground their energy, and carry on. If things turn out better than expected, we celebrate.
But I never, ever, ever tell a client they can’t reach their goals. I never look them in the eye and tell them their dreams and goals just won’t happen, or tell them to aim lower.
This is exactly what the energy healer did to me, one sunny morning in March, many years ago.
At the start of the session I explained where I was at: my current focus and goal with my work; what felt like it was working really well; and what felt a little out of alignment or stuck. I was excited about where I was at with my work, and my anticipation for the coming launch was palpable. All the content and tech side of things were ready to go—I’d been working on it solidly for months.
The last piece was my mindset, to ensure I was ready to go, open and willing to let in a whole new round of amazing clients, hold the space for them, and facilitate a wonderful course and experience.
When I told the practitioner my goal, within just a few moments I was told it wouldn’t happen. The practitioner didn’t ‘feel’ I’d reach that goal this time … but maybe next time. I was asked to consider a lower goal I thought I might be able to reach.
Um, what? My first thought was, But this is energy work … you’re not telling my future. The point of this session is to clear the blocks so I can work towards my goal, not add more blocks to my path and tell me I’ll never get there anyway.
I honestly can’t remember much more of that session; I probably shut off because I stopped trusting the practitioner. At the end of the session, when it was suggested I come again, I‘m pretty sure the look on my face conveyed my reply. Thanks, but that’ll be a ‘no’ from me.
I got into my car in tears and called a girlfriend. This was so against how I practised and what I believed; it felt like a physical, mental, emotional and spiritual affront (which, in a way, it was).
Then I had to get back to working on my launch, while also undoing all the ‘work’ this energy healer had tried to do in our session. I did kinesiology balances on myself. I cleared my energy, the energy of my office, and booked a clearing and coaching session with a healer and girlfriend I trusted.
I went to yoga, and journalled pages and pages about how angry and upset I was because of the session. It felt like a waste of time and money, but mostly a waste of my energy. I had known and trusted this person, and they’d very consciously (or perhaps subconsciously) tried to pull me down.
This wasn’t what I wanted to be doing with my time, just before a launch, but it was so important to me. I didn’t want to go into the launch carrying remnants of someone else’s negative story, pattern or pushback.
It took me a really long time to let go of that practitioner’s words; their doubt in me and my ability, or rather their choice to not support me in clearing a block that might have come up in relation to reaching my goal.
While I didn’t reach the initial goal I’d set, it was still my most successful launch at that time. I was incredibly proud of myself, naysayer and all.
What I learnt from that experience served me well:
There’ll always be people who say negative things about your work, your goals, or your dreams. And you can listen, without taking them on.
A close girlfriend and healer taught me to say ‘thanks, no thanks’ to myself, when confronted with thoughts (your own, or someone else’s) that don’t feel quite right for you. It works a treat.
When I set goals now, I set several. No longer do I simply look ahead to one goal, but to many. Then as I hit milestones on the way to my stretchiest goal, I get to celebrate every step of the way. It also means that if I only hit the first goal, or one version of my goal, I’ve still hit a goal. And even if I don’t totally reach that goal, I’m still okay.
I also like to set myself little rewards along the way. When I hit my first goal, I might give myself a slow morning off in my favourite cafe, reading and drinking coffee. When I reach my second goal, I might buy myself a new plant for my office (like I need an excuse!). Third goal? A one-hour massage. Fourth goal? Dinner at my favourite restaurant with hubby.
You could also give your goals names, like ‘stretch goal’, ‘stretchier goal’ and ‘stretchiest goal’; or emotive feelings, like ‘abundant goal #1’, ‘aligned goal #2’, ‘dreamy goal #3’ and so on.
When writing down my goals, I always end with a little plus sign, as a way of saying, ‘This is what I’m aligning myself to … or something better’. Sometimes I’ll simply write, … or something better at the end of the goal.
Make it fun, enjoy the process, stay in your power, work with people you trust. Most importantly, trust yourself first.
One of the reasons I felt so deflated after that ‘healing’ session is because I’d put this person on a pedestal, so I allowed them to govern my energy. I thought they knew better than I did, so I gave away my power.
You can ask for and receive help and support on your journey, without giving away your power. You always have the power to listen to your intuition and use it as a powerful tool to help you navigate your next steps. If something feels off, honour that feeling. Of course there are times when we feel so vulnerable that any advice seems like good advice. That is when it’s best to not rush into action; let the advice simmer within, and then trust that the right answer—your right answer—will appear for you.
Listen to yourself too. You can ask for support, but don’t stop listening to your own inner guidance system. Remember … take what you need, and leave the rest.
Some of my favourite crystals to help you feel centred, grounded and protected are:
I’m hesitant to offer you any advice or support that sees you put your power in anyone else’s hands, and that includes working with crystals.
Think of it this way: if you pick up a rose quartz, will it automatically bring more love into your life? Hmm perhaps, but more likely, it’ll simply be a tool—one of many—in your toolkit to help you radiate that which you wish to call in. Working with crystals may help you set clear intentions, which helps you take aligned action, which helps you move forwards in the best way possible.
Use crystals as a tool to support you, not as a crutch to catch you.
I stay within my centre and source of power, always listening to and trusting my intuition and guidance, as I work towards my goals in life and work.