On our way to achieving our dreams, we’ll be called to go back to basics, to expand up and out and beyond, and to do things that terrify us, all in the name of expansion.
When I started practising as a naturopath, I had this amazing mentor. Anytime I’d go to her feeling overwhelmed about how to treat a client, she would say to me, ‘Just give them passionflower!’ This was her way of saying, ‘Just go simple. Don’t overthink it.’
By first giving clients passionflower, a beautifully calming herb, you’d help them move out of the stress response, into a more relaxed state. When people feel calmer, more grounded and relaxed, you can support them even more deeply.
‘Just give them passionflower!’ became my mantra. I applied it to all sorts of situations, whenever I felt overwhelmed. Of course, it didn’t mean I always gave my clients passionflower to start with, but it did mean I always let myself go back to basics and start small, to help my clients in the way that best supported them.
I remember a time a potential new client got in touch with me for business alignment coaching. This person was—according to the story I made up in my head—more successful than I was at the time. I checked out their website and social media, and then started to feel really worried about how I would help them.
How could I help someone who might be way ‘beyond’ where I currently was? Wouldn’t they already know more than I did, be more confident than I was, and have more skills and experience?
Then I realised that working with clients who you deem are more successful than you are is a way of deepening your work, because you must rise to the occasion; you must expand up, out and beyond what you thought was possible. You must leave your ego at the door. You must remember this is about resonance, not numbers. It’s about expansion, not maths. It’s about being confident enough within to trust yourself, your work, your path and your guidance; trusting the right clients and opportunities are flowing to you, because you’re in alignment, and because you’re able to receive them.
It’s about knowing that you might be stretched and pulled on the path to ascension and expansion, and knowing you wouldn’t have it any other way.
For you to grow in alignment, you must also see where you want to be. And sometimes this means stretching before you think you’re ready.
In a similar way, you might sometimes be given experiences that show you what you’re capable of, even if they terrify you.
When I was nearing the end of my kinesiology studies, we had to do six months of student clinic. Anyone from the general public could book in to see us. We’d go into the clinic room in pairs, so there was always one student practitioner and one student observer. Our teacher would pop into each clinic room during the session to observe, for just a few moments, then move on to the next room.
At the beginning of the clinic session, I put my hand up first (as usual). So off I went to see my very first kinesiology client, accompanied by Matt, one of my student peers.
I walked into the clinic room and handed my client (Melanie, a girl in her late teens) a clipboard with a form to fill out. Something felt a little bit off. Melanie wouldn’t make eye contact and seemed to be muttering to herself. Her mum, who’d come along with her, took the clipboard from her and filled out the form.
When she was finished, I scanned the form. My client had schizophrenia. ‘Okay,’ I thought, ‘I have no experience with this, but I’ll go slowly, easily and gently.’
There was one good reason I continued on with this session, instead of leaving the room to speak to my supervisor and say I didn’t think this client should be in a student clinic. Matt, the student accompanying me for the session, was a clinical psychiatrist with about 30 years’ experience. Phew!
I said a silent prayer of thanks to the Universe that I’d been paired with Matt for this session. I looked him straight in the eye, my apprehension clearly evident, and he gave me an imperceptible nod. I was good to go, and he had my back.
So I took a deep breath, prepared my notes and folders, and started the session. It soon became clear that Melanie was not doing well. (Matt later told me he believed she was actually having a psychotic break during the session.) It was quite scary for me, and I was completely out of my comfort zone.
When the session ended, I asked to speak to my client’s mum outside the room. Since she hadn’t written much about her daughter’s medical care on the form, I double-checked whether her daughter was on medication, and whether she had a doctor or psychiatrist she could see in the next few days. The answer was ‘no’ and ‘no’. Melanie’s mum said it was too expensive to look after her daughter, and that’s why she thought it would be good to come to this student clinic. I called Matt in to speak to the mum. He gave her some sound advice on what she needed to do next, to get her daughter the care she desperately needed.
I was furious, scared and shaken. As soon as Melanie and her mum had left the clinic, I closed the door and fell on the floor in a heap, sobbing in fright and relief. I couldn’t believe what had just happened.
I couldn’t believe there hadn’t been some level of screening beforehand. I didn’t want to judge, but I also couldn’t believe the mother wasn’t seeking appropriate care for her daughter, when the free healthcare system in Australia is so amazing. I couldn’t believe my luck that Matt had been in the room with me the whole time. I couldn’t believe I’d managed the session. I couldn’t believe any of it.
Matt came and knelt down by my crouched, shaking body, tilting his head to one side to look me in the eye. He seemed surprised to see me completely losing it. ‘You did so well!’ he said. ‘I didn’t know you were feeling worried during the session. You kept it together so well, you did such a good job.’ With his support, I calmed down; I quite literally picked myself up and dusted myself off. I took a deep breath, composed myself, and we went back into the main classroom together, where I told my teacher and peers what had happened.
So … that was my first kinesiology client!
After that experience, I was imbued with the confidence and knowledge that I was ready to see any kind of client. It was one of the most intense experiences I’ve ever gone through in relation to my work, but afterwards I knew I could do anything.
You’ll always be given what you can manage. Even if it means you go for the simple route. (‘Just give them passionflower!’) Even if it means you must rise to the occasion—and expand up, out and beyond. Even if it means you fall into a sobbing heap at the end.
I allow myself to rise into my expansion, expanding up, out and beyond.