Seventeen

And I thought the train was bumpy,” Em said as they set off in the rented buggy. “This is going to wear sores clear through my backside.”

“Maybe you ought to put a little more meat on your backside. Mine seems to be holding up just fine.”

“I ate two desserts last night.” Em smiled at the memory. They’d dined together in a little restaurant on the main street in Brigley. Caleb had treated her just the way she imagined he would have treated Eliza or Olivia. He’d had the finest manners and been so kind and attentive. The meal had been delicious. Even knowing she had money now, he insisted he pay. After eating they’d walked together in the perfect summer air. In many ways the trip felt like a dream, like her very own fairy tale.

“You did seem to enjoy your custard.” Caleb snickered.

“I’ve never had anything so fancy. You kept insisting I eat whatever I wanted. I had no idea you were going to taunt me about it later.”

“Whoa there. I wasn’t jesting. I was glad to see you eating and enjoying yourself. I figure you have years of sweets to catch up on. Maybe when you’re all caught up, your backside won’t hurt so much when you ride in a buggy.”

“What was your favorite dessert as a child?” she asked.

“My mama made a pie out of blackberries. It’s the kind I got in trouble for stealing. I can’t eat a slice of it without feeling like a boy again. Best pie you ever tasted. What was your favorite?” Caleb snapped the reins, encouraging the horses through a puddle.

Em thought a moment. “We didn’t have sweets much. But once my ma brought home a cream puff. The kitchen had made too many for a party. There were extras and the maids were able to bring them home. We all sat around looking at it before we finally bit into it. It was every bit as light and fluffy as it looked. I’ve always wanted to taste one again. I wonder if it would taste as good as I remember.”

“Sounds like something else I would have snuck from the kitchen.”

Up ahead a mother deer with two spotted babies crossed the road. Caleb slowed the buggy. “Some things you just never get tired of seeing. That’s one of them.”

They sat in silence watching the deer. The little ones went over to their mother and tried to suckle from her. She stood patient a moment or two before grazing on. Then the little ones jumped about in the tall grass.

“Today is one of those days,” Caleb said as he leaned back in the seat.

“One of what days?”

“One of the ones when you are just grateful to be alive. Excited for what lies ahead.” Caleb continued to watch the deer. “It’s a good day.”

“You didn’t wake up thinking hard about what you had to do today?”

“Not this morning. Today I woke up to the birds singing and I wondered if you heard them too. It’s a pretty nice way to start a day.”

Em looked at the clear blue sky, the rolling hills, and the baby deer. It was a beautiful start to a day. Smiling contently, she leaned back in her seat and braced herself for the bumps ahead as Caleb signaled for the horses to move again.

“A bit farther and we’ll be at my parents’ home. My grandparents lived there before them.” Caleb pointed to a cluster of trees on the horizon.

“It looks like a piece of paradise,” Em said.

“I always thought it was one of the prettiest places in all of Iowa. You’ll like it, I know you will. There is even a muddy creek a bit of a walk to the north if you need to take a quick dip.” He winked at her, provoking a laugh.

The pace of her heart quickened as they neared the house. Nerves she hadn’t felt earlier decided to act up. “Did you tell your parents why I am with you?”

“Yes, I told them I had to bring a witness to a court case and wanted to visit while I was nearby.”

“You didn’t even tell them I am a girl?”

“I didn’t think it mattered.” He urged the horses on.

“I suppose it doesn’t. I’m just a traveling companion. Makes no difference whether I’m a boy or a girl.” She folded her arms across her chest. “Of course it doesn’t matter.”

A large farmhouse appeared in a clearing up ahead. It had two neat stories stacked on top of each other and a wide front porch with two rockers. A neat little row of flowers bloomed around the porch.

Pointing to a spot in front of the house, Em whispered, “Your tree is perfect.”

“I knew you would like it. Climb it with me later?”

“Yes.”

Before another word could be spoken, a plump woman with gray hair twisted into a tight bun emerged from the home. Raising a hand above her eyes to block the sun, she looked at their approaching wagon. Moments later, she turned back into the house.

“She went to get Pa,” Caleb said.

Em wanted to see Caleb’s pa emerge from the house, but she couldn’t take her eyes off Caleb. He had a new smile on his face. One she had never seen before. His “going home” smile. With his eyes still on the farmhouse, he reached over and took her hand in his.

When Em did finally look back to the porch, a tall, thin man stood next to the woman. He wore work clothes and a wide-brimmed hat. As they got closer, Em could tell his skin was dark from the sun. A hardworking man, just like her own pa had been. Different jobs, but she saw the similar marks of a life of labor.

Caleb stopped the buggy, walked around it, and helped her down before he even greeted his parents. He whispered in her ear, “I’m glad you’re here.” Together they closed the distance between them and the Reynoldses.

“Caleb, it’s good to see you.” Caleb’s pa approached and offered his son a hand. Caleb took it in his own. While they shook hands, Caleb’s pa looked at Em. “And who is your guest?”

“This is Em. She had to testify against a couple of bandits over in Brigley.” Then, putting a hand on the small of Em’s back, he said, “This here is my pa, Gideon Reynolds.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” Em said.

“Same to you. This is my wife, Betty. She’ll help you get settled in the house.”

Betty stepped forward and patted Caleb on the arm as she walked past. To Em she said, “It’s been a long time since we had any company. Come along. I’ll show you around.”

Em followed the woman up the porch steps and into the house. The front room was perfectly tidy. Nothing was out of place. Em could not see even a speck of dust.

“The kitchen’s that way,” Betty said, pointing to her right as they walked through the immaculate house. The farther into the house she walked, the more Em felt she understood Caleb and his need to please. Judging by the home, these people had high expectations for themselves. Did they expect perfection from their son?

Once they were upstairs, Betty opened a door and ushered Em into a small room. “This will be your room while you’re here. I hope it suits you.”

Em walked past her to the window and spotted the mighty oak. “I like it very much. Thank you for hosting me.”

Betty nodded. “Feel free to freshen up. I’ll go and see Caleb while you get settled.” She looked down at her feet as she shuffled from the room and closed the door behind her.

Em plopped on the bed and fretted, unsure if she should have come to meet Caleb’s parents. Their welcome had not been cold, but it had not been warm either. Not sure how to freshen up when she was already in her best dress, she moved to the window and opened it, letting in the warm breeze.

Voices drifted up from below her window. Giving in to temptation, she leaned closer.

“You haven’t been home in two years and now you arrive with a stranger and expect us to host you both like some hotel.” The voice was Gideon’s.

“No one stays in the boys’ rooms. We never have guests because they are off-limits, and now my Sam’s room has a girl staying in it.” Betty had joined them. “Why didn’t you tell us?”

“I’m sorry I haven’t been home. I’ve been meaning to come. I wanted to come—but coming back has been hard for me. Anyway, she isn’t some strange girl. Her name is Em,” Caleb said. “And the boys would have liked her.”

“She mean something to you?” Gideon asked.

“I’ve been helping her. I’m the sheriff in town—it’s my job.” Caleb paused. “She’s more than that though.”

“You got feelings for this girl?” Gideon asked.

Em was tempted to pull away from the window, unsure if she wanted to hear his reply. But she did not budge.

“She’s not the kind of girl I ever planned to have feelings for. But there’s something about her . . . ah, I don’t know how I feel. She’s been good for me. We talk about the hard things. It’s helped me.”

“Spending all this time together, traveling together, rumors will start. Better sort it all out.” A chair creaked. “Walk with me to the fields. I want to show you my new irrigation system.”

“All right, Pa.”

Em listened as the two left the porch. She waited for her racing heart to calm before returning downstairs.

Betty and Em stood in the farmhouse kitchen. Together they’d prepped the evening meal. At first they’d peeled and chopped in silence. Em did her best to emulate Margaret and forced herself to start a conversation. After several minutes of small talk, Betty began to open up.

“When Caleb was a boy, he often brought in stray animals and even a few downtrodden neighbor children. I should not have treated you the way I did. I’m sorry my greeting wasn’t friendlier.” Betty’s face softened some.

“You don’t have to apologize. I’d like to know what Caleb was like as a boy. He’s told me some.”

“What has he told you?” Betty asked.

“That he was often causing mischief. Once he stole a blackberry pie and has loved it ever since. Says it reminds him of home and of you. He told me of climbing the tree in front of your house and taking care of animals. Mostly he talked of his brothers and how dear they were to him.”

“I’m surprised he spoke of them.” Betty wrung her hands together. “Gideon and I haven’t been very good at speaking of the past. There’s too much pain.”

“I’m sorry for that. From what Caleb has told me, they were good men. He misses them.”

Betty busied herself by pouring two tall glasses of water. “Sit with me on the porch. I’m sure you’re tired from the ride out here and helping me in the kitchen. Tell me the truth about how my boy is doing.”

The two sat down, and over the course of an hour, they reminisced about Caleb as a boy, laughing at his antics. Em told Betty what kind of a man her son had become. Betty’s eyes glistened with pride as Em spoke of his honor, his sacrifice, and his kindness.

“I always thought Caleb would settle down on a little piece of land. Close enough so that he could come and see us. That boy loved being outside. Often he was up before me. I had to call him down from the tree to eat breakfast. I never thought he would take a job as a sheriff. He changed, though, when the boys died. I suppose we all did.” Collecting the empty glasses, she stood. “Well, that was all a long time ago. It’s just nice to have him home.”

“Tell him that.”

Betty looked at her for a long time. “Tell him? Does he think we don’t want him?”

“He loves you both. I saw it in his eyes when we drove in. But he thinks he has to heal everyone, to live all the lives his brothers would have. He thinks he must fulfill all their dreams to make you proud. He’s so busy doing it, he isn’t living his own life.” Em hoped she hadn’t said too much.

Betty put a hand on Em’s shoulder as she walked past into the house with the glasses. Em’s eyes followed her.

After cleaning up the evening meal, the four sat and visited. When the conversation ran dry and the sun descended, Betty and Gideon retired for the night.

“Come to the tree with me,” Caleb said, taking Em’s hand in his own.

Fireflies darted around them when they stepped outside. He led her to the tree and boosted her up onto the first branch, then climbed up himself. He had planned to climb high, maybe even race Em, but instead he sat beside her on the sturdy first branch, slowly swinging his legs.

“Is it what you expected?” Em asked him. “Being home.”

“In a way. My parents are hard on the outside and soft inside. They worry first and care later. I am only sorry they didn’t do a better job of welcoming you.”

“At first I thought your ma was cold and prickly. But when we spoke on the porch while you were away, she just looked tired to me. She spoke of the boys, though, and of you when you were little. She even laughed.”

“Did she tell you anything I should be embarrassed about?”

“Oh yes. Lots of great stories,” Em teased. Then in a low voice, she went on. “She said she always thought you would live on the land. She thought you would visit often.”

“She said that?”

“Yes. And she told me you have a history of bringing in stray animals and people. I suppose that is what they think I am.”

Caleb nudged Em. “You’re not a stray. With all your money, you are practically an heiress.”

“Heiress? No. I’m much closer to a stray than an heiress.” Changing the subject, she asked, “What did your father have to tell you?”

Caleb couldn’t tell her. Not all of it, at least. His father had asked him questions about her. Questions that had him thinking. “Does she bring you happiness, make you laugh?” Gideon had asked. When Caleb confessed that she did, his father then asked, “Do you like who you are when you are with her?” Again Caleb answered in the affirmative. He confessed she was not what he had planned, that at first she was just a case to solve.

Then his father said something Caleb couldn’t get out of his head. “Our whole lives people try to tell us what beautiful is. As young boys we think we know exactly which women are the loveliest. Then we meet one who doesn’t fit the mold and we know we were taught wrong our whole lives.” While his pa talked, Caleb envisioned Em’s freckled face. “Beauty is something we get to define. We may not see it right away, but when we do, we have trouble even remembering the other definition. We wonder how we were ever so misled. All we can see is the one person who defines it for us.”

Then his father put a hand on his shoulder and said, “Don’t let anyone else decide which kind of beautiful is right for you. You find a girl who brings out the best in you. Who you can see a happy future with. That’s your kind of beautiful.”

Realizing Em was waiting for an answer, Caleb said, “My pa wanted to show me the property. And ask how life in Azure Springs was.”

Em picked up a leaf and tore little pieces off it. “I think there is more and you’re not telling me.”

“Look up. It’s too dark to see now, but there’s a branch near the top with a nest in it.” Caleb pointed high in the tree.

“I can almost see it.”

“Every year as a boy there was a nest in this tree and every year we climbed all the way to it and looked inside.”

“You spent a lot of time in this tree,” she said, still looking up.

“I did. But I haven’t been up in it, not even once, since my last brother died. Not until now.” Caleb ran his hand over the bark and then picked at the edges that stuck up. “You’re good for me, Em. I told my pa that. That you have helped me to heal.”

“I told your mother that you saved me.”

Their eyes met then. Silent questions passed between them. But neither voiced an answer.

Caleb broke away first. He climbed down from the branch and then helped her to the ground. Somehow she had become his definition of beautiful. Yes, she had changed some—filled out and lost the sunken look. But it was he who had changed the most. He wanted to tell her. But how could he when the future was so uncertain? What good would it do to confess his heart when he didn’t even know if she would ever return?