Eighteen

Em woke to rapping on her door. “You better get up,” Caleb whispered. “My ma likes early risers.”

She threw off the blankets, flew out of bed, and dressed in a hurry. Smoothing her hair, she opened the door and rushed down the stairs.

The family was sitting at the table, waiting for her to arrive to begin breakfast.

“I’m sorry I’m late,” Em said.

“No need to apologize,” Gideon said.

“Caleb, were you outside last night?” Betty asked in the same way Em would expect her to ask a child.

“I was indeed. I lured Em out and the two of us climbed the tree,” Caleb answered in between bites of bacon.

“You climbed the tree? You climbed your tree?” Betty’s brows rose. She cleared her throat before speaking again. “I thought I heard some noise. Reminds me of when the house was full of you boys. Seems I could never keep all four of you in bed.”

Gideon leaned toward Betty. Em was fairly sure the two were holding hands under the table.

She looked at Caleb—his eyes were on his parents as he spoke. “We did have trouble staying in. Especially in the summer when the sun was up so long.” He sounded tentative. “It was usually Reggie’s idea. The leader of the pack.”

“You always thought you were so quiet, but we heard you. Heard you laughing into the night too. I always wondered what was so funny, but I knew if I asked I’d have to scold the lot of you for staying up so late.” Betty did not laugh, but she looked less weary. “I just pretended I didn’t hear. I was glad you all cared so much for one another.”

“You heard us? But we were so careful.” Caleb looked dumbfounded. “All these years I was sure you had no idea.”

Gideon scooped another pile of eggs onto his plate. “I heard you too. Been far too quiet around here lately. We keep hoping one of these days you’ll bring home a wagon full of babies to visit. Then you’ll understand the other side of your trouble causing.”

“Gideon!” Betty declared. “Don’t say such things.”

“Why not? It seems to me that we are finally saying things we should have said years ago. It feels good to talk openly. And you’re always talking about babies and family. We might as well let Caleb in on the discussion.”

Caleb put up his hand. “Enough. If I ever have a wagon full of babies, I’ll bring them here. You have my word. I would want them to know their grandparents and fill this house with noise.”

Betty smiled at her husband. Gideon continued to eat, but even he had a smile on his face in between bites. When his plate was empty, he stood. “I’ll head on out to the field now. I’ll be back in the afternoon.”

A few bites later, Caleb stood. “I’ll go out with him. Thank you for breakfast, Ma. And for the laugh.”

Betty nodded. “That’s a good son. Your pa works so hard out there. Em and I will get an afternoon meal cooking. And while we do it, we’ll talk about the old days.”

Caleb looked back from the doorway. His eyes met Em’s. He mouthed “Thank you” to her before setting out to help his pa.

Em and Betty rose and effortlessly worked together to clear the table and wash the breakfast dishes. A comfortable silence settled between the two of them. “Tell me more,” Em said after they’d cleaned everything up. “Tell me about Sam. Was he as much trouble as the rest?”

“They were all trouble. The best kind of trouble. I was always after them about something or other. Telling them to do this or do that. I sometimes wish I could go back and tell them all I loved them just the way they were.” Betty took a slow, deep breath. “It all just went so quickly. The growing up years, then the war. Then one by one they left and never came home.”

“I have regrets too.” Em stirred her cup of tea, twirling the spoon around and around. “But I’m learning how to move beyond them. Caleb has helped me. The pain is not so intense now.”

“You’ve done something for our Caleb. I know that. The last time he was here, he was so somber.” Betty reached out a hand and put it on Em’s. “I think you’ve been good for him.”

“He’s been good for me too. I guess we all get to learn together,” Em said. “Maybe someday we’ll have healed enough that we will be able to think of our losses and not ache.”

“Having Caleb back—truly back, seeing him smile. I feel closer to all my sons than I have felt in years.”

Em could sense that change. They had been there only a day, but the house was brighter. Em thought of her own life—it had changed quickly as well. These two good people, Betty and Gideon, were stepping out of mourning. They may have traveled a sorrowful road for years, but they were on a different path now. It had started with just a single step.

“It’s beautiful here,” Em said later in the day as she and Caleb walked over a lush green knoll.

“It’s because of you.”

“No. I haven’t done a thing. I wish I could take credit for the beautiful grass and perfect blue sky.” Em tried to breathe in the freshness of it.

“The sky might be out of your reach, but you did change things. You asked my mother about the boys. Whatever you said or something about the way you asked her, it cracked the shell she’d built around herself. Look.” Caleb pointed to the front porch. There sitting in the two rockers were his parents. They had moved the rockers close together and were holding hands. “They don’t think we can see them.” Caleb put an arm around Em.

His words brushed against her ear. “That is a sight I have prayed to see. I just had it all wrong. I thought if I was a sheriff and bought a big house, they would be happy again. But that wasn’t what they needed.”

“It was having one of their boys return,” Em said. “Seeing you smile and living. Seeing you happy. They needed you.”

“No. Well, that was part of it. But it was letting the other boys live too. All around us. It’s like they have been set free. I’ve felt them this time. The memories are all around us.” Caleb picked off a stalk of the long summer grass. “They’re here again. Just like they should be.”

“But you were lost before too. Or so your mother says. She says you went with the others. Says her carefree baby boy changed. That the war took you away from her too.” Em put a hand on his arm. “You came home. And what a perfect home it is.”

Brushing a piece of stray hair from her face, he said, “I’ll always be thankful that you came here. Abigail told me you answered her prayer and helped her heal. You’ve done so for me as well.”

“Margaret told me that often we get so caught up in seeing our own prayers answered that we don’t realize we are blessing others. That is how everyone has been for me. Seems she is more right than I realized.” Then, letting her eyes travel across the property, she prayed the scene would stay in her memory forever. “We are leaving in the morning. Let’s go and spend time with your parents.”

Leaving was harder than Em had expected. The Reynoldses had not given her the best welcome, but less than two days later they were embracing her as they said an emotional farewell.

“Take care of yourself, Em. Write us and tell us about Lucy,” Betty said.

“I will. I’ll tell you everything. Thank you for having me.”

“Oh, thank you. Remember, you are always welcome here. We so hope to see you again.”

Gideon patted Caleb’s back. “It was good having you home. I know you are a grown man, but having you back here felt like the old days. Like our boy was home again. I’m sure proud of you. I—I’ve never been good at saying what I feel. But, well. You’re a good man. A man who would make any father proud. You got a fine lady by your side. Bring her back sometime.” He stepped away from his son. “Travel safely.”

Caleb put his arm around Em as they walked away. His voice caught in his throat when he whispered to her, “He’s proud of me. Did you hear it? My pa is proud of me.”

“I heard. I know he meant it. I could feel it.”

Loaded into the rented buggy, they were about to drive away when Betty came running toward them. “Em, thank you again for coming. And for everything.”

Caleb slapped the reins on the horses and they set off. “I think my parents like you better than me.”

“I didn’t know it was a competition.”

“Everything here always is!”

“Are you sad to go?” Em asked, looking back at the picturesque farmhouse nestled in the bluffs.

Caleb looked too, then shook his head. “I know I’ll be back this time. It feels a little like the home I grew up in again.”

Smaller and smaller the farmhouse became as they rode back toward Brigley.

“I’ll talk to the ticket man about getting you on a train to Beckford when we get there,” Caleb said.

“I’ll use some of my money and stay at a hotel again tonight and the next too if there is not a train tomorrow. If there is any time this afternoon, I’ll go and take a quick bath in the mud so I am looking my finest,” Em said, trying to keep the mood light.

“I’d planned to spend the evening with you, but I suppose I’ll spend it alone instead. No mud for me.”

“Since it will be our last evening together, I can change my plans. I pick you over the mud.”

Caleb smiled at her. “You’d change your plans for me?”

“Yes! I can give up a mud bath for you,” Em said, knowing she would be willing to give up much more for him.

“I’ll telegraph Alvin as soon as we are in Brigley. If it’s still all right, I want to go to Beckford. I should know soon.”

“With any luck, Alvin will only have Silas to complain about, and you will be able to come.” Em hoped this wasn’t their last evening together. Joking about their parting was one thing—actually living it was another.

“What will you do when you find Lucy?” Caleb asked.

“I don’t know. I picture her being seven. If she were seven, I would take her in my arms and swing her around. Then pull her in tight and hold her until she squirmed away. It’s hard for me to picture her fourteen,” Em said. “I wonder how she remembers me. Is she angry that I left her? I know how I want it to be, but I don’t know how it will be.”

“What if the family is kind and loves her? She has lived half her life there.” Caleb reached around and straightened the load behind them.

“Then I will move to Beckford and see her as much as I can. She’s my only family. We have been lost to each other too long for me to just walk away.” Em twirled the end of her braid in her hand. “If they’re not kind, I will take her away. Somewhere safe.”

He nodded his head but said nothing. When the lull grew too long, she pulled the reading book out and practiced aloud. He corrected her when she stumbled, but most of the words came smooth.

“You read so well. Have you thought of reading your mother’s papers?” Caleb asked.

Em nodded. “I have thought of it. I nearly did the other night. But I’m so near Lucy, I’ve decided to wait. I’ll read them with her.”

“That’s a fine idea. Even if she starts out angry over the past, it will not take her long to realize you have a good heart. I wouldn’t worry.” Caleb’s voice was confident. Em stared at him while he drove, alternating between watching his strong hands guide the horses and studying his face. His face was the perfect combination of angles and smoothness. How was it she had become friends with such a handsome man? And such a good man.

Laughing to herself for staring, she said, “I think Lucy will take to you as well. She’ll probably be as smitten as Mae and Milly are.”

Sticking out his chest, he said in a deep voice, “Well, I am the Prince of Azure Springs, and if she was raised on your stories, she will be looking all over for a prince.”

Shoving him, she laughed. “In my stories, the prince is always humble and gracious.”

“Humble and gracious. I can do humble and gracious.”

“Besides, it is Mae and Milly who call you a prince. That was not my idea.”

He pulled his lips into a playful smirk. “I was certain you thought I was a prince as well.”

“Don’t look so smug.” Her comment only made him do it more, until she finally conceded. “Oh, all right. I have thought you look a bit like a prince. But it still wasn’t my idea.”

A grin spread across his face. “I knew it. I knew you thought I was a prince.”

“I want to use my third question.”

“Better make it a good one—because it’s all you get. This prince never changes the law.”

“Very funny.” She started to say more but stopped herself, suddenly afraid to hear the answer. Instead, she stared hard at an old barn they were passing. It looked like it was about to topple over, but other than that it was fairly unremarkable.

“I was only teasing. Ask me whatever you like,” Caleb said. She turned her eyes to him.

When she still didn’t speak, he pulled the reins—stopping the horses—and turned toward her. He looked her in the eyes and waited.

“It’s nothing, really. I think I’ll ask later,” she said while fidgeting with the seat.

“Ask me. I’m curious now.” Caleb looked serious. “You can trust me. I’ll give you a serious answer.”

“I know I can trust you. That’s part of the problem. I know if I ask you, you’ll tell me the truth. I don’t know if I want to know the truth.” Looking away, she said, “Let’s drive. Forget I said anything.”

He tapped his foot. “Em, if I have to return to Azure Springs, this could be your last chance.”

“I’m sorry, Caleb. I can’t ask it.”

He sighed, clucked to the horses, and set off down the road again. Em picked up the reader and read more. She stumbled over many words as she went, unable to focus on the book.

Caleb reached over. “You don’t have to ask me your question. But if you ever want to, you can. Put the book away a minute and look over there.”

Caleb brought the buggy to a halt and together they watched as a fox and several kits played. The little ones jumped back and forth and wrestled. One was so bold as to pounce on the mama fox. She snarled and nipped at him until he backed off. But then he came at her again. This time she wrestled him before walking off.

“This is what I miss. As a sheriff, I’m always on guard. Always looking for criminals. Out here I can set my spade down if I want and just stare at something good.”

“Don’t be a sheriff then. Fighting a battle with the earth seems like a plenty noble calling to me. Putting food on your table and on the plates of others—it’s a quieter way. But it’s a good way. Your ma and pa would be just as proud of you if you chose to work the ground.”

Caleb started driving again. “Maybe I will. Of the two of us, you’re the landowner.”

“I had forgotten about that.” Em didn’t think she would ever return to Azure Springs. She would live near Lucy, or with Lucy, depending on what she found in Beckford. Where they would go, she wasn’t sure. But living so near Azure Springs would be too hard if it meant watching Caleb with someone else. She would part ways with him and always remember him this way, as the dearest friend she had ever had.

In Brigley, Caleb hurried off to send his telegram, while Em trekked over to the hotel.

Caleb met her later in the day, note in hand. “Alvin wrote back. Things are fine in Azure Springs. Said the only excitement has been a brawl at the saloon. Just like you suspected.”

“You can come!” Em said, nearly jumping into his arms. “We don’t have to say goodbye yet.”

“Looks like Silas ended up with a broken leg from the brawl. As much as I’d enjoy seeing that, I hardly think it’s a reason to skip out on Beckford.” Then he waved two paper tickets in front of her. “I booked us both passage to Beckford. Let’s go and get Lucy.”