Nineteen

I never thought I would stand here again. It was right here that I saw her last.” Em looked at her feet. The boards beneath them were faded and worn but still the same. “For seven years I have wondered about her, prayed for her, and dreamt of her.”

“You ready?” Caleb asked as the two stepped off the platform.

“I’ve been ready all these years. Waiting for this day. And now I feel nervous and scared and excited and even afraid.”

“Be excited. Your sister will love you. How could she not?”

Raising her head high, she looked from left to right, scanning what she could see of the town. “Where do we begin? How do we find her?”

“Let’s go and find the preacher. You said the town preacher often orchestrated the adoptions. There’s a chance he will know. If he is anything like our preacher, he knows just about everything about everyone.” Caleb looked about and spotted a whitewashed steeple high on a little hill on the edge of town. “The church is that way.”

Grabbing her hand, he pulled her forward. “We may as well start there. If he is not in, he might live close by.”

On the way to the church, they passed a school. A young woman about Em’s age stood on the steps ringing a bell. Children ran from the yard to the door. Was one of them Lucy? Did Lucy attend a school? A real school! Em walked faster, forcing her legs to move quickly up the hill. It seemed she could not get to the church fast enough.

Caleb kept up with her swift stride. Once they were at the door of the church, he grinned and said, “Knock.”

Em did. She knocked louder than was necessary and then waited, swaying back and forth as she stood on the step. Fighting a battle with her many emotions. Then she knocked again. No answer. She knocked even louder then, banging and banging. Caleb closed a hand over her fist. “We’ll find her Em, we will. This was just our first stop. Let’s walk through town and ask around.”

Knowing he was right but still rattled by the delay, she turned and started back to Main Street. Everyone she passed looked as though they were headed somewhere. Who could she ask? Who would know her Lucy?

She let Caleb lead the way as she clung to his arm. He got the attention of a man in a suit. “Sir, do you have a moment?”

The well-dressed man nodded. “You new in town? What can I do for you?”

“Yes, sir, we just arrived on the afternoon train. We’re trying to find someone,” Caleb answered.

“Well, I’ve been in this town fifteen years now. If they live around here, I’ll know them,” the man boasted. “Who’re you looking for?”

“This here is Em and she was separated from her sister, Lucy, seven years ago. They rode into Beckford on an orphan train. Lucy was taken in by a family in this town.”

The man smoothed his suit, then took a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped his bald head. “I remember a train coming through. Every couple of years a train full of kids stops here. I think I know of your Lucy. Better head down Oak Street. It’s three streets that way”—he pointed to their right—“then turn left, and about a quarter mile on your right you’ll find a farmhouse. Look for rosebushes in front. That’s where the Oversons live. They should be able to help you.” He blew his nose into his handkerchief, then tucked it away. “I’ll be on my way then.”

They thanked him and watched him go.

“Overson. That must be who took her.” Em looked toward Oak Street. “It’s so close, Caleb. Only a little over a quarter mile away.” And then she cried. Right there on the street, she burst into tears.

“I’m sorry,” she said as she wiped at her face.

Caleb wrapped a strong arm around her and pulled her to him. “Remember when you told me you never cry?” he whispered into her ear.

“I don’t. I mean . . . I didn’t, but now I do,” she said through her sobs. “It’s just that I’m going to see Lucy. Oh, Caleb, I have wanted this for so long.” She pulled away and looked him in the eyes. “This is what kept me going all those years. The dream of this very day. It’s here.” More tears. “I’m a mess,” she said as she tried to regain control. “I can’t let her see me like this.”

“She won’t care. I bet she’s dreamed of this day too.” Caleb’s words only brought more tears to Em’s eyes. He guided her toward Oak Street then. “Come on, you weepy woman. Let’s go find your sister.”

They walked in silence through town. The house was easy to find, just as the man had said. A quarter mile down Oak Street, rosebushes—neatly trimmed all along the front of a two-story house—shot into view. The siding of the house was a soft blue with white trim, which gave it a sophisticated look. But what caught Em’s eye was a swing hanging from a branch of a tall tree. Biting her lip, she again suppressed the emotion that was so near the surface. Had Lucy swung on that swing? Had she played in this yard?

“What do I say?” Em asked Caleb as they walked up to the door.

“Just tell them who you are. And ask about Lucy. You’ve had seven years to think about this, and you don’t know what to say?” Caleb sounded frustrated. Was he nervous too?

Em thought of snapping back, telling him he just didn’t understand, but instead she took a deep breath. Waiting wouldn’t give her any additional confidence, so she knocked on the door. The seconds she had to wait felt like an eternity, but they passed and the door opened.

A woman stood in the doorway. Her chestnut hair was pulled back into a braid and then wound around itself into a bun. Em met the woman’s hazel eyes. “Can I help you?” the lady asked.

No words came. Caleb nudged her side, prompting her to speak. “Um, yes. I hope you can. We are looking—we are here to see Lucy.”

“Lucy,” the woman repeated.

“Do you know her? A man in town said you would be able to help us. I thought she lived here. She’s my sister . . .” Em’s rambling silenced only when the woman’s arms came around her.

“Emmy? Is it you? After all these years, you’ve come.”

Emmy! No one had called her that in years. Not since Lucy. This woman knew Lucy. She must or she would not know her name. “You know Lucy,” Em whispered. Pulling away, she asked, “Where is she? Oh, please tell me. I’ve waited so long to see her.”

“Come inside out of the sun,” the woman said, her voice soft and gentle.

Em could hold back her emotion no longer. “No,” she shouted. “Where is Lucy? Tell me where she is.”

Caleb put a firm hand on her shoulder. “Em, it’s all right. Let’s go inside.”

She pushed him away and approached the woman. “Is she at school? Is that where she is? Tell me. Tell me where my sister is.” Her voice cracked when she spoke. “Please, please, tell me.”

Mrs. Overson again put her arms around Em. Sobbing, Em buried her head in the woman’s shoulder. She shook from the tears that came and came. Years worth of sobs racked her body. Mrs. Overson quietly said, “I’m sorry—I’m so sorry” over and over as she patted her back and let her cry. Em felt weak when she finally stepped away. She was weary from dreaming the same dream over and over only to have it play out so differently than she had ever imagined.

Twice she tried to ask but could not get her voice to work. At last Caleb asked for her. “What happened?”

Mrs. Overson took Em’s hand and tried to lead her into the house, and this time she followed. “Sit down,” she said as they stepped into the living room. “I can tell you’re tired.”

Caleb found a spot on the sofa. Em slowly lowered herself and sat beside him. Then the woman stepped to a desk and pulled out a stick person and placed it in Em’s hand. “Would it be all right if I started at the beginning?”

Unable to look away from the figure in her hands, Em simply nodded her head.

Mrs. Overson sat in a chair across from them. “Like so many others, my husband and I lost our children to the fevers that swept through. Our house was much too quiet. No sounds of little feet, no laughter. When I saw the sign about the orphan train coming through, I ran to town to tell Walt. I thought he might not want an orphan, but he surprised me by saying it sounded like a fine plan.”

Mrs. Overson stood and looked out the window that faced town. “We were some of the first there the afternoon the train was due. We’d planned to find a boy, hoping he could help out around the place as he grew. But when the children walked on the stage, all I could see was this one perfect little girl. I knew many of the other couples at the station, and I was so afraid one of them would take her and work the little angel tirelessly on a farm.”

She brushed a tear from her cheek. “I should have looked at the others. Taken more in. I could have, but all I could see was this little girl. My heart loved her the moment I saw her.

“We acted quickly and took her off that horrid stage. Away from men like Max Welton and his kind. She screamed and cried, but we thought she was just afraid. Once we got her home, she started talking about Emmy.” Mrs. Overson looked at Em. “Talking about you. By the time Lucy was calm enough to tell us about you, the train was gone. We thought we could calm her down, that she would be all right with time. But she wasn’t. Two weeks later Walt took the train and asked about you at every stop. He was gone three weeks before returning home. We wrote letters then to the Aid Society. They said the files were confidential.”

Mrs. Overson knelt in front of Em. “Forgive us. We wanted to find you. To make it right.”

“I’ve never blamed you. Only myself for not being there with her. Tell me, was she happy? With time, was she happy?” Needing to draw strength from somewhere, Em reached for Caleb’s hand.

Mrs. Overson stood up and walked to the mantel. She took down a small framed likeness and walked back to Em and handed it to her. “Lucy was happy. She made everyone around her happy. I often called her my sunshine girl. She lit up a room. She lit up every room she was ever in.”

Em reverently held the image. There before her was the same little girl she had mothered and loved. The picture captured light in her eyes. Cradling the frame to her chest, Em pressed her lips in a tight line as she struggled with the reality that her baby sister was gone. Sorrow—deep, painful sorrow—filled her heart. The ache battled with the overwhelming joy she felt knowing her dear Lucy had lived a good life. She’d been able to tell just by looking at the picture that Mrs. Overson’s words were true. Lucy had been happy.

“What happened then?” Em managed to ask.

“For five blissful years we lived together. And in a way, you lived here too. Never did Lucy pray without mentioning you. She told us stories of your bravery and goodness. Fairy tales filled our house. Lucy told them, but first she would say, ‘Emmy told me this story and now I’ll tell it to you.’ She wrote to you too. She said you would be so proud of her for knowing how to read and write. Someday she vowed to give her letters to you. Always—always she believed you would come back. And she was right.”

“But I came too late,” Em said as she looked again at the beautiful girl in the picture. “I lived for the day I would hold her again. And now she is gone. I was too late.”

Caleb had been a silent observer until now. “But you came, and she knows you’re here. I know she knows. You came, Em. It was all you could do.”

“What took her?” Em asked.

“Sickness. Always sickness. It came quickly and took her in her sleep. I was beside her when she passed. Never has a child looked more peaceful. It was Walt and I who were in pain. Not Lucy. Again the house was so quiet. But we never regretted taking her in. Losing her was so hard, but loving her had been so easy.”

Mrs. Overson walked to the door. “This house has been in our family for many years. Out back there is a white fence that borders our little resting place. Walt had a stone carved for Lucy’s grave. Go and visit it. I know she would love your company. Come back though. I want to give you a few treasures. Little things I saved for you.”

Em nodded before silently walking out of the house and to the gravesite. Little stones and crosses were nestled close together beneath a lush green tree. Stones jutting from the ground begged to be read and remembered. Three little stones all held the same year. Nelda, Mabel, and Thomas. Next to them was Clement, who must have been a grandfather. Then came LaVern. Em guessed by the dates that she was a grandmother. She stopped when she read the next stone. “Lucy, Our Sunshine Girl.”

Em sat down next to Lucy’s grave. At first she just stared, and then she wept, and then she begged her sister for forgiveness for not coming sooner. “I wanted to come—I wanted it so badly. I’m sorry, Lucy. I’m sorry I missed so much.” In desperation, she said, “Forgive me, Lucy. For not being here.”

Then, laying herself next to the soft mound, she cried, “I love you, Lucy. I never stopped loving you.”

When the minutes had multiplied, Em finally sat her tired body back up. Caleb, who Em had not heard come outside, cleared his throat. “I was hoping I might have a word as well.”

Sniffling, Em said, “Of course. She would have wanted to meet you. I’m sorry I’m so emotional.”

“Don’t be. I told you how I cried when my brothers died. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.” He knelt by the grave and turned his attention to Lucy’s gravestone. “Hello, Lucy.” His voice was serious. “I’ve wanted to meet you. I’m sure you are someone awfully special. Having Em to raise you, how could you not be? I’m sorry we couldn’t come sooner. But I want to thank you for keeping Em going when life was hard for her. I’ve found a true friend in her and have you to thank.” He pulled a stray weed. “I like the name Sunshine Girl. I’ll think of you whenever I feel the sun’s warm rays.”

Rubbing his stubble, he went on, his voice thick with emotion. “My brothers are up there with you. Tell them their baby brother misses them and thinks of them often. Tell them I’m doing better now. That I’m ready to start living my life again. Tell them that I sat in the oak again and I found someone I can beat in competitions. Don’t worry about your sister. She may have cried enough to fill a rain barrel this week, but she’s strong. And she’s going to keep living too.”

He stood then and pulled Em to her feet. “I saw Walt Overson come home a half hour or so ago. When you’re ready, let’s go and meet him.”

Mr. and Mrs. Overson, or Walt and Olive, as they preferred to be called, invited Caleb and Em to stay with them. For two days they all talked of Lucy. Tears were shed, many tears. More than Em thought possible. But there was also laughter and joy.

“I’ve got to head back to Azure Springs,” Caleb said the evening of their second night with the Oversons. “I’d like to stay longer, but I have an obligation to the town.”

“When do you leave?” Em asked, not ready to say goodbye.

“I leave tomorrow morning. What will you do?”

“I don’t know yet. I feel so close to Lucy here—it will be hard to go. I need to think. I’ve got to form a plan. I don’t know how, but I know I must make new goals for my future.”

Caleb brushed a hair from her face. “Come back to the Howells’. To Azure Springs.”

“I can’t live with them forever. I don’t know where I belong,” Em said, eyes downcast. “This was my plan—to be here with Lucy—and now I have no course to follow.”

“You will find a way. If I know anything about you, it is that you will fight on.” Caleb looked away. His voice was shaky. “Will I see you again?”

Em waited to reply. She knew honesty was something Caleb valued and she wanted to give it to him. “I don’t know.”

“Tell me what your third question was going to be. Tell me before I leave.”

She shook her head. “No, it would do no good.”

“Write it down for me. Give me that gift before I leave.” His eyes pleaded with her. “Give me that.”

She nodded slowly. “I will. But don’t answer it. I don’t want to know, not anymore.”