Twenty-One

Anything for me?” Caleb asked Calvin at the post office.

Calvin turned and looked in a little square box. “Nope. Nothing today.”

“Thanks for checking.” He turned and left the small post office. Why hadn’t she written? A letter should have come by now.

Margaret saw him as he passed the boardinghouse on his way to the jail. She was outside washing sheets with Laura, the daughter from a family that was new to town. “Problems in Azure Springs?” she yelled as she walked toward him, leaving Laura to the laundry.

He approached. “No, ma’am. Why do you ask?”

“I just thought there must be something awfully wrong for you to look so distraught.” Margaret hung a sheet on the line. “You spend enough time watching people and you start to understand them. At least a little.”

“What do you understand about me?”

“Your whole world changed when that skinny stray was brought in. And now you miss her more than you thought you ever could,” Margaret said matter-of-factly.

“You’re right—you have learned a great deal from watching. She was nothing but a case to solve when she showed up. I’m not sure when it happened, but it all became something more.” Caleb sighed. “I left her in Beckford so she could find her own way. I had thought she would come back or write. At least I had hoped she would. This wondering and not knowing, it’s agony. I don’t understand why she hasn’t come back.”

“And if she comes back?” Margaret raised her eyebrows. “What then?”

“I don’t know.”

“Well, you better know. If that girl comes back, it’s because she thinks she can have a life here, but she won’t wait forever. You have the time right now. Rather than moping around town, figure out what you’ll say if you get the chance.” Margaret was standing with her hands on her hips, looking ready to pounce on him. “Better decide what you want.”

“Em said you were good at saying exactly what you thought.”

“Life’s too short to keep people wondering. You remember that when you see that girl of yours. Just because she doesn’t look like the belle of the town doesn’t mean that every man around is too dim-witted to leave her alone. Someone will see her beauty.”

“I’ve worried over that.”

Margaret laughed, her curls shaking with each breath. “Don’t waste time worrying. Act.”

Caleb brought his brows together, thinking hard. What should I do?

“Come in, Caleb,” Eliza said. “How have you been?”

“I just got an earful from Margaret Anders. Other than that, not much has changed.”

“No word from Em?”

“No. I checked on my way here. I was hoping I would have news to share. I know Mae and Milly would’ve been happy to hear something.”

“We all would have.” Eliza looked remorseful. “Sometimes you don’t know a good thing until it’s gone. The house hasn’t been the same since she left. We’re all hoping she comes back to town. Mama has a letter Em left. She showed it to me and Pa but hasn’t shown the little girls. I think she’s still hoping Em will return.”

Mae ran in the back door and through the house to Caleb. “Do you notice anything different about me?”

He bent to her level and looked at her closely. “I know—you changed your hair?”

“No.”

“You got a new bonnet?”

“No.”

Milly came into the room then too. “The same thing that happened to her happened to me.”

“That is a fine clue. Aha, I know now—you’ve had a birthday.”

“Yes,” the girls said together.

Mae’s smile faded. “And Em missed it. We had ice cream, and Em has never had it before.”

Caleb was glad Em could not see the pain on the little girl’s face. “I’m sure she wanted to be here.”

“Why doesn’t she come back?” Mae asked. “Did you really do your best to bring her home?”

“I wanted her to come, but she had to stay. At least for a while.”

Her hands fell to her sides. “Do you think she will ever come back to us?”

Eliza answered this time. “We all hope she does. But Em has to do what is best for Em. She would want us to be happy here. So no sitting around feeling sorry for ourselves. Let’s go and eat together.”

The girls, still sullen, left them and went to the dining room.

“How have you been?” Caleb asked Eliza.

“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. It’s been hard. Realizing who I had become.” She took a deep breath. “I have to tell you something . . .”

He waited.

“I’m not proud of this. It seemed harmless at the time, but it was cruel and hurtful.” She stopped again. “This is so hard.”

He said nothing, giving her the freedom to say what she would.

“I’ll just say it. I started the rumors about Em when she lived here. I told the other girls in town. I didn’t think about the harm it would cause her. But then when you woke me up to what I was becoming, I realized how wrong I was.” Eliza’s eyes were focused on the floor. “I’m so ashamed.”

“You told the girls the stories? About Em and George? About the saloon? You started all of that?”

She nodded. “I was jealous and wanted her to go away. But now I want to tell her how sorry I am. I’ve told everyone I can think of that the stories weren’t true. But I haven’t told Em. What will she think of me?”

“She’ll think you were wrong. But you are setting it right and that is all that matters now. She’ll forgive you. She seems to have been born with an extra measure of grace.”

“What do you think of me?” Eliza looked at him, her eyes begging for an honest answer.

“I think you’re growing up. Your mama will be proud of who you’re becoming.” Caleb took her arm and led her to the dining room.

Before they entered, Eliza said, “I know why you love her.”

He stopped. “Love her?”

“Yes, love her. I’ve seen it written across your face. I had hoped you would look at me like you looked at her, but it wasn’t meant to be. Where I saw unrefined manners and coarse clothing, you really saw her. I only wish I had seen her sooner.” Eliza smiled then. “I hope she comes back for you. I thought I could make you happy, but I’m not Em.”

“No, but you will be someone’s Eliza.”

They sat down to dinner then. He was grateful for this good family and their welcoming home.

When he walked back to the jail that night, he thought about Margaret and Eliza. What they had said to him had him thinking. He had been moping around for weeks now. He couldn’t control whether Em came back, but he could decide what he would do if she did.