MISS DEMEANOR
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Friday, May 2
In a series of unprecedented public displays that weren’t actually all that public, everyone’s favorite conspiracy theorists ditched the tinfoil hats yesterday for berets, igniting several self-proclaimed “flash mobs” across campus. These megaphoned, white-cloaked warriors made such lofty demands as: Dismantle the social media regime (boo hiss, tinfoilers, boo hiss)! Boycott smartphones! And . . . some other stuff . . . that no one remembers . . . due to mitigating circumstances of the wardrobe malfunction nature.
(Style tip, public protestors: He who dons white pants should un-don colored underpants.)
Inappropriately dressed as they may have been, (e)VIL’s attempts at defending one of Lav-Oaks’s own against the tyranny of the Lav-Oaks masses is to be commended. Just not by me, since I exist only online and Team We Hate Social Media won’t be clicking my like button anytime soon (that’s not a euphemism, kidlings).
So, my massive masses, if you see one of our no-flashy-no-mobby flash mobbers, thank them for . . . whatever it is they’re doing, because it probably has something to do with free speech and freedom from oppression and all that inalienable rights hoo-ha that I don’t feel like referencing right now because the bathroom where my U.S. Constitution shower curtain and coordinating Bill of Rights liner so proudly and currently hang is a long walk from my bed where I so proudly and currently hang.
Like most things on which I so doggedly report, you’ll just have to trust me on this. And, you know. Fight the power and stuff.
xo ~ Ciao! ~ xo
Miss Demeanor