MISS DEMEANOR
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Monday, May 5
Angelica Darling may be a schemer, but one thing she’s not afraid of is a little improvisation. When conspiracy theorists stole her spotlight on Friday to go all fanboy on the founding fathers? Angelica didn’t whither like a dainty flower. She rolled with it, pun intended. I don’t care what the tabloids say. Jayla Heart’s a class act, and she deserves our fickle online loyalty, so head on over to the Jayla Heartthrobs fan page and thumb-thumb-thumbs it up!
If we’ve learned anything this weekend from Jay-gelica’s grace in the face of being defaced, it’s this: No matter what the soulless scandalhounds throw at us on our paths to self-righteousness, march onward we must. So even though it’s Cinco de Mayo and it’s time for a Monday-morning margarita (shout out to Mexico! Thanks for giving me the opportunity to misappropriate your cultural heritage in order to justify my drinking tequila before nine a.m.!), the show must, after all, go on.
I’ve got an important announcement.
*Shuffles papers*
The award (yes, OMG, finally!) for Miss Demeanor’s final (you know you’ll miss me) (try not to cry) (nothing says I’ll miss you like anonymous cash donations to the bank account of my choosing) #scandal goes to a gent who puts the ass in class, and that’s no insult. For his unwavering embodiment of class in a world of utter classlessness, and for so perfectly capturing the quintessential high school #scandal moment in all its glitter and desperation at the Lav-Oaks postprom party of the century, we’ve selected . . .
PRINCE FRECKLES!
*Applause applause applause*
Sadly, like all our equestrian-American brethren, Prince Freckles lacks opposable thumbs and is unable to sign into his Facebook account and claim his winnings. He’s also unlikely to give two horseshits about winning a gold star of immortality on a cheesy, high school gossip column. After consulting with my wise adviser Jose Cuervo, I’ve decided to award, by proxy, the esteemed random photographer who captured the prince’s special moment. Step forth and claim your fifteen seconds of fame, esteemed random photographer! You deserve every last second and not a moment more!
xo ~ Ciao! ~ xo
Miss Demeanor