Chapter Twenty

A week before the Christmas festival, a young soldier disembarked from a Boise State transit bus at the Meadow Creek bus station. Inside the ticket office she asked directions to the sheriff’s office. Outside, the sun moved across the sky, doing little to warm the temperature or boost the soldier’s confidence.

She was a bit embarrassed and at the same time honored, while striding along the sidewalk through the town, that people stopped and thanked her for her service. Four blocks later, she marched up the steps to the sheriff’s office. In a moment’s hesitation, she turned as if changing her mind about entering. She hated to admit how panicked and unprepared she felt for meeting the twins she’d birthed but didn’t know.

Heaving a sigh and mustering her courage, she pushed open the double doors and walked into the office’s warm interior.

Millie looked up from her book. “Can I help you?”

The young soldier said, “I’m Private J.J. Wallace, to see Sheriff Wade Grey. The Red Cross said he has information about my children.”

“Oh, my lord, you’re her! I mean, we’ve been looking forward to meeting you.” Millie offered a contrite smile. “I’m rambling, aren’t I? Sheriff Grey is on a call. I’ll let him know you’re here. Would you like some coffee while you wait?”

“How long?”

“How long, what…oh, sure, ten or fifteen minutes at the most.” Millie pointed to the coffeepot and cups. “Help yourself.” She picked up the shortwave radio mic and contacted Wade.

While they waited, Millie said, “I’m sorry about your grandmother. We were all friends in high school… Nellie Hopewell, Clare, me, and some others, but that was eons ago. Except for Nell, we lost touch with Clare when she moved to Seattle. The children are staying out at the ranch with Nell.”

J.J. squared her shoulders. She had learned to close off her emotions. She was a soldier; who could blame her? “I didn’t know my grandmother was sick. Didn’t know she’d died until I got word from the Red Cross. ” For lack of something else to say, she stowed her rucksack in a corner and walked over to the aquarium. “Nice fish.”

After she removed her jacket and hung it on the coat rack, she took a cup and filled it with coffee. The cup’s warmth felt good to her cold hands.

For want of conversation, Millie said, “You’re just in time for Meadow Creek’s Mistletoe Market and the Jingle Mingle. Don’t you just love the holidays?”

J.J. cut her gaze back toward the aquarium. “I don’t give much thought to the holidays, ma’am.”

“Yes, well, make yourself comfortable. Sheriff Grey should arrive any minute.”

J.J. was grateful when the woman opened a book. She toyed with the idea of cancelling the rest of her leave and returning to Fort Riley. She closed her eyes for a moment, and when she opened them looked straight into Wade’s.

She squared her shoulders and, from force of habit, almost saluted.

****

A corner of Wade’s mouth twitched into a parody of a smile as he observed the woman wearing a man’s-cut blonde hair, her blue eyes void of emotion. “Relax, Private Wallace.” He indicated the chair for her to sit. “We were getting concerned that perhaps the Red Cross hadn’t made contact with your unit. Allow me to express my condolences regarding your grandmother.”

“Thank you, sir. It took a while for me to get stateside. I went to Seattle first to visit my grandmother’s grave, and to settle some of her affairs. I have fifteen days before reporting back to base.”

Wade kept his eyes on her face. He understood her lack of emotion. From the report he’d received, her detail had been deep in terrorist territory. She’d been deployed for more than a year in some of Afghanistan’s most treacherous areas. “Understood. How much time do you have left before your enlistment is up?”

The question seemed to take her by surprise. “Thirty days, sir. I had planned to re-up. Now, I’m not sure.”

“I’ll come straight to the point, Private Wallace. What do you plan to do about your children?”

“That’s the part I’m not sure about, sir.” She cut her glance toward Millie. “May I speak candidly?”

Wade nodded.

She opened her mouth, then closed it again as if collecting her thoughts. “When I was a kid, my old man was a slacker. He couldn’t stay sober enough to hold a job. We moved around. I lost track of how many trailer parks we lived in, how many schools I attended, all the new and different faces—I never got to make any real friends. When he and my mom died, I went looking for love and found it in all the wrong places. I was seventeen and pregnant when my grandmother took me in. I had no job skills and was basically illiterate. When the twins were nine months old, I was slinging hamburgers at a truck stop and hanging out with the wrong crowd. It was only a matter of time before I ended up pregnant again. Gram suggested I join the Army. It’s been the worst and the best five years of my life.”

She rubbed her hands down the legs of her fatigues. “Most of my five years I’ve been deployed.” She pierced him with a frank gaze. “I don’t know my children, and to be honest, I’m scared to death to meet them.”

She swiped a hand under her nose as a couple of tears welled in eyes that held a light of defiance. “I’m a damned good soldier, sir, but I’m not at all certain that I’m mother material.”

Wade stood and walked over to Millie’s desk. “Hand me the letter to Santa.”

Millie opened her desk and removed the envelope. She gave him a questioning look as she handed it to him. He returned to his desk and sat, toying with the red envelope. He leaned forward. “Read this.”

J.J. removed the letter and unfolded it. Her eyes darted back and forth across the page.

When she looked up, she saw the emotions that stormed in Wade’s eyes when he ordered, “Out loud, Private. Read it out loud.”

She cleared her throat, “Dear Santa, all me and my sister want is for our mommy to love us. We promise to be extra good and collect the eggs, even if that old hen pecks us, and we’ll feed the horses, and make our beds. We like living with Aunt Nell. She’s nice, but can you bring our mommy home from the Army?”

Her bottom lip trembled, a sign that she struggled to hold the tears at bay. “What kind of life can I give my kids, huh? If I reenlist, who will take care of them when it’s time for me to redeploy? If I separate from the Army, I’m unemployed and with no place to live.”

She didn’t cry. Soldiers didn’t cry. She raised her chin and spoke with as much dignity as she could muster. “You got an answer for that, Sheriff?”

Wade sighed deeply, as if he resented being cursed with this assignment. “Joey and Julie are temporarily guests of Nell Hopewell at her ranch.”

She swallowed hard and sat up straighter. “So why can’t they continue to stay there? I’ll send money for their support.”

Wade kept his eyes on her face. “Nell Hopewell is seventy-five years old and with a bad heart. Does that answer your question?”

The realization that she was backed into a corner was a slap of surprise. Like a caged animal looking for an escape, J.J. paced back and forth, stopping occasionally to look at the fish and then at Wade. “I apologize, sir, for coming across as a hard-assed bitch. The truth is I don’t know what to do. One thing is for certain—I refuse to give the children false hope.”

An unexpected voice filled with anger said, “I was abandoned by my mother, and even after all these years, I’ve never understood why she didn’t want me. How dare you even entertain the idea of leaving the twins wondering why they weren’t good enough for you to want them.”

Addison stood there, shocking them all with her presence. She continued, “Joey and Julie are bright and precious and already fear you don’t love them. Instead of slinking off like a coward, the least you can do is explain why you’re choosing the Army over them.”

Wade wasn’t certain whether he was glad or frustrated at Addison’s arrival and her outburst.

J.J. rose from the chair, her arms stiff at her sides and fists clenched. “Ma’am, my children and what happens to them are none of your business.”

The expression on Addison’s face and her rigid stance reminded him of a she-grizzly ready to attack anyone who messed with her cubs. He positioned himself between the two women. “Private Wallace, this is Addison James. She’s the owner of Hope Ranch. The children have become quite attached to her.”

A slow smile spread over his face, and he stared at Addison for a long moment. His manhood itched, and he wished he could throttle the sensation. “I see you’ve got the cast off.”

Her voice softened. “About ten minutes ago. I rode in with Emmett. He’s down at the feed store.” She shifted her eyes back to the woman in uniform. “Private Wallace—ˮ

“Please, call me J.J.”

Addison tried to keep her tone light. “J.J., I…we’ve all promised the twins the best Christmas ever. In fact, they are models in this year’s children’s Mistletoe fashion show. Bottom line—there’s a spare bedroom at Hope Ranch. I’m personally requesting you give the children three days of your time. Get to know them, and…and let them believe Santa Claus answered their wish. After Christmas, if you choose the Army, I’ll pay the airfare back to your base.” She extended her hand. “Deal?”

A hush fell over the office. Only the soft whirring of the fish tank’s pump interrupted the silence. For a moment, Wade was certain the young mother would ignore the olive branch Addison was extending, and walk out the door.

J.J. accepted Addison’s hand. “It seems the sensible thing to do.”

A horn beeped. “Grab your belongings, J.J.—Emmett doesn’t like to be kept waiting.”