CHAPTER [16]
CONTROLLING COSTS
Once you become entrenched in the traditional system of divorce, you have absolutely no control over costs.
During the Christmas holidays not long ago, I attended a function whose attendees happened to include a large number of lawyers.
As I stood chatting with a circle of acquaintances, I couldn’t help but overhear an exchange between two of the city’s senior matrimonial lawyers.
“I spent most of the day shopping for a new car,” said one to the other. “I’ve got my eye on a new Mercedes-Benz. The CLK is sporty, but I’m leaning toward the S-Class.”
“Top of the line, eh? Did you win the lottery, or is it a Christmas present to yourself?”
“More like a Christmas present from a client. It’s all thanks to that case you and I have been battling over. What a doozie—nudge nudge!”
I was utterly appalled, so much so that I set aside my plate of hors d’oeuvres, thanked the host, and left the gathering. I realized I had been in a sea of strangers with whom I had little in common.
Sadly, though, I wasn’t at all surprised.
Because the world in which I’m building my new model of divorce is small, I later found out which case the lawyers were talking about. What I can tell you is this: Before their case was resolved, the couple’s relationship was wholly destroyed. Not even a shred of respect or consideration remained.
But I imagine the new Mercedes-Benz made it all worthwhile. In the traditional system of divorce, each side of the splitting couple typically hires one or more lawyers to represent his or her interests. These lawyers typically charge by the hour, with no guarantee (and rarely even an estimate) of how many hours it might take to reach a resolution.
In fact, there are no guarantees about anything, including an outcome. It’s quite possible the lawyer you hire won’t even see your case through to resolution, but that won’t exempt you from paying his or her bill.
While variations in lawyers’ billing structures exist, hourly fees are the norm in matrimonial law, ranging according to seniority and experience. Paying $450 or more per hour for one of the best (usually a senior partner in a large law firm) is commonplace.
The most important thing to bear in mind is this: Unless they are working on a contingency basis, lawyers don’t get paid well for fast and hassle-free settlements.
This is exactly what people need to understand: Lawyers do not get paid well for cases that settle quickly, and the lawyers know it.
I certainly won’t paint the entire legal profession in broad strokes of censure. I have encountered many family lawyers who care deeply about their clients and act in their clients’ interests to the best of their ability. That’s often difficult, though, within a system that no longer works except to move people further apart, deplete financial resources, and increase fear, pain, and anxiety.
If you plan on pursuing a legal course of action in your divorce, look very carefully before you board the train. Once the legal locomotive is in motion, there’s no way to apply the brakes and prevent a train wreck without both parties’ consent.
Knowing in advance approximately how much your divorce will cost—and seeing in advance that you’ll be able to keep the vast majority of your family’s assets within the family—reduces a great deal of the fear and apprehension that are common during a traditional divorce.
A truly fair approach to divorce—the alternative divorce I’m unveiling in this book—employs a step-by-step process with fixed, transparent costs and total accountability along the way.