“Wake up, sleepyhead. We’re home.” Rafe had opened her door and leaned down beside Reagan, hoping to minimize any startle reflex. Sudden movements would cause discomfort for a couple of days, so he planned to wake her slowly. “Open those gorgeous brown eyes for me, Peach. I’d carry you inside but you wouldn’t enjoy the pressure on your back and legs.” It could rip open several of the deeper wounds, but he didn’t see any reason to be quite that graphic.
She blinked her eyes and gave him a lopsided grin. “I wouldn’t want you to undo all Dr. Newell’s fancy repair work. He’s a famous plastic surgeon, you know. I’m very swank to have been his patient.” He wanted to laugh out loud at her faux awe. Damn, he was pleased she was showing him a glimpse of the real woman behind the stoic mask she’d maintained with the hospital staff. Ryan had even tried shuffling the nursing staff so her attendants were more her age, but it hadn’t mattered. Reagan had been unfailingly polite, but she’d kept everyone at arm’s length.
Before her eyelids could, once again, flutter closed, Rafe took her small hand and pulled her slowly to her feet. His cock stirred at the feeling of his much larger hand wrapped around her slender fingers. She blinked at him a few times as if trying to bring him into focus, and he grinned when little frown lines appeared between her brows. “It’s not a good idea to frown at your Master, Peach.”
“Then stand still. You keep weaving around, and I can’t get a bead on you.”
“You make it sound as if you’re going to shoot me.”
“Oh, heaven’s no. Why would I shoot someone who gives earth shattering orgasms on the fly? All those fast food joints are going to have to go a long way to top your to-go service.”
Rafe couldn’t hold back his laughter as they walked into the house. When he stopped, she glanced up at him in question. Damn, he loved that befuddled expression. He dropped her hand and released the last remaining button of the dress she was wearing, enjoying her quick inhalation. “I want to see you. More often than not, I’ll want you naked when we are alone.” He used his fingers to lift her face to his before continuing. “You know Masters love to show off their submissives at the club, too. I’m going to love showing you off, Peach.”
He saw a myriad of emotions in her eyes. But the one he was going to deal with first was the shadow of shame. “Be very careful, Reagan. I’ll take offense at anything negative you say about yourself. Be sure…be very sure you’re prepared to go down that path before you speak.” She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, and he could practically hear the wheels spinning in her mind, but she remained silent. Good enough for now.
Slipping the garment from her shoulders, he smoothed his palms down her ribs and hummed when her nipples tightened into tight points. “You are gorgeous, Peach. I can hardly wait to share our second scene.”
“Second? Scene?” There was that confused look he was coming to love.
Giving her nipples a quick squeeze to center her attention, he nodded. “Don’t doubt for a minute what you experienced on our way here was a scene. I gave commands. You obeyed. And you were rewarded with the release your body was craving and needed to shut down that quick mind of yours and get a few minutes rest.” The surprise was easy to see in her expression. “Scenes don’t have to be elaborate productions, Peach.”
“But how will I know if it’s a scene? What if we’re talking and you decide to start a scene? I might not realize it….and I’ll mess up. I’ve seen how that works out for subs at the club…and it’s never good. You have to know I’ll mess up…I’m always misjudging people.”
Jesus, she was sliding into a full-blown panic attack simply because she was worried about making a mistake. She hadn’t said anything about being afraid of punishments. She was solely focused on her fear of displeasing him.
“Stop. Hell, baby, take a breath.” Once she seemed to have come back a step or two from the edge, he led her to the living room. Sitting in one of the oversized recliners, he settled her on his lap and pulled her into his arms. He didn’t want to have this conversation in the bedroom because he felt strongly about making sure that space was reserved for sleep and sex—and not necessarily in that order.
“First of all, rest assured I’ll never hold you responsible for a rule you didn’t know. They call it training for a reason, Peach. This lifestyle can be complicated, but it’s just like everything else. You’ll learn it one step at a time. I know you already understand the importance of following orders.” Nate and Taz included the basics of BDSM play in their employee training program. “And, you’re already familiar with the club’s safe words since it’s an important part of every employee’s orientation, so we’ll use the same stoplight system here. If we keep it consistent, you won’t have to think about where you are and what word you should use.”
Her breathing was slowly returning to normal, and the pulse at the base of her neck was no longer racing. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to lose it. It’s just that, well, I don’t like to make mistakes. When you mess up, people stop loving…I mean, they stop liking you. And then you have to move on and…”
Rafe put his finger over her lips, silencing her. He wasn’t about to let her finish, because that line of thinking had no place between them.
“Stop. That’s not the way it works, Peach. Not at Mountain Mastery and certainly not with me.” He could see the doubt in her eyes and realized he needed to find another approach. It was abundantly clear she’d never had anyone she could depend on past the first mistake. He couldn’t even imagine what that would be like to have people in his life who bailed at the first sign of trouble.
“Do you abandon your friends the first time they make a mistake?” Her thunderous expression almost made him laugh. Here was a woman who was fiercely loyal to the people she valued. Knowing she’d be equally faithful to a lover sent heat coursing through his veins.
“No, of course not.”
“But you think I would?” Her eyes widened before they dropped to where her hands were twisting in her lap. “Look at me, Peach.” Her face slowly lifted back to his, and he saw the sheen of tears in her eyes. “I’m loyal to my friends, too, Reagan. I’ll be even more devoted to the woman who entrusts me with her body. I’ll cherish that gift, baby. But I also understand trust is built over time.”
The first tears breached her lower lids and raced down her chin. Leaning forward, Rafe kissed the salty drops away and then rested his forehead against hers. “One step at a time, Peach. I promise to take this one step at a time. But I want something from you in return. I want you to promise to tell me if you’re feeling insecure or if something we’re doing frightens you. Relationships in the BDSM world are almost always stronger than those of our vanilla counterparts because communication is such a huge part of what we do. You’ll never be punished for asking a question—as long as you do so respectfully.”
He saw her sag in relief and took that as his cue to move things along. Setting her up on her feet, he stood and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Come on. I’m beat. Ryan is going to have to do something about the deplorable conditions of the doctor’s lounge if he expects me to work out of that facility. Swear to God, I’ll build my own wing if that’s what it takes to get a decent nap. I’m certain their mattresses are something they picked up at a five and dime store.”
Reagan’s giggle made froze him in his tracks. When he turned, her eyes widened in concern. “What? Did I do something wrong?”
“No, Peach. Quite the contrary. I think that’s the sweetest sound I’ve ever heard. I’m going to make it my goal to hear it as often as possible.” This time his lips locked on hers and went from chaste to scorching in a heartbeat. When he finally made himself pull back, they were both panting. “Fucking hell. You undo me.”
Rafe was leading her down the hallway toward the master suite when she suddenly stopped. “This isn’t the way to the room where I left my overnight bag.”
Facing her, Rafe cradled her face between his large hands. “No, it isn’t. I know I told you that you could have your own room. Is that what you want, Peach? Or would you rather sleep in my arms?”
Reagan was so surprised by Rafe’s question she couldn’t do anything except blink her eyes as she tried to wrap her mind around the implications. He hadn’t said anything about sex. Had he changed his mind? Maybe her insecurities were too much of a turn off? Or maybe he only wanted her to sleep beside him in case any medical issues came up during the night?
“Peach? I asked you a question, and I expect an answer. You’re overthinking this. I can see it playing out in your eyes. Make no mistake, I want to fuck you so badly my dick feels like it’s seconds away from exploding.” Her eyes dropped to where his cock strained against the denim of his jeans. “Yes, take a good look, Peach. That’s what you do to me. But I’m not ruled by lust. You and I are both exhausted. We need sleep, and that’s what we’re going to do. Holding you will help me sleep, and I think it will help you, too.”
She nodded, her mind numb, and the reality of her situation started to sink in. This man wasn’t asking for anything except the opportunity to hold her as she slept. No one had done that since she was a small child. Her body reacted before her mind realized she was moving. Reagan stepped forward to lay her cheek against Rafe’s chest and wrapped her arms around his waist. “I’d like that very much. You’re right. I’m tired, and I can’t imagine how spent you must be.”
Relief swept through her when he closed his arms around her. The hug was comforting rather than sexual, and that was enough to calm her fears. She hadn’t had sex with anyone in a very long time, and the thought of breaking her dry-spell when she was weaving on her feet from fatigue almost sent her into a tail-spin. “Come on.”
She let him lead her into his bedroom and gasped when she spotted a couple of her dime store trinkets sitting on the bedside table. “Our friends obviously knew I wouldn’t want you sleeping anywhere else.” She heard the amusement in his voice, but there was a sublayer of affection, too. As he stripped out of his own clothes, Reagan realized for the first time she was naked. Holy cannoli, how had she forgotten she’d been completely bared to his gaze?
She heard him chuckle across the room and looked up to see him watching her. “Just realized you weren’t wearing anything, didn’t you?”
“Yes. I can’t believe I forgot.”
“For what it’s worth, I’m thrilled. That level of comfort tells me a lot.” He studied her so intently she wondered if Mountain Mastery was filled with mind-reading Doms. “Sweetheart, I hope you don’t play poker.”
What? Poker? “No, I was never very lucky at cards.”
Rafe head fell back as he laughed. Reagan might have been insulted if the sound of his hearty laugh wasn’t so genuine. “No, Peach. Luck has very little to do with success in poker, but that wasn’t what I was referring to. I meant you don’t have a poker face. Nothing is hidden. Your honest emotions are a siren’s call to a Dom like me.”
Reagan tilted her head to the side, trying to make sense of what he was saying, but she was just too tired to sort through it. Shaking his head, he crossed the distance between them. Walking her backward until she felt the bed behind her, he used a hand on her shoulder to sit her on the edge of the mattress. “Lie back before you fall asleep on your feet. We’ll work it all out in the morning.”
The light went out a second later, and even though she heard him moving around the bed, she was asleep before he joined her. Somewhere in the back of her mind she realized she was wrapped in warmth and sweet words were being whispered against her ear, but she slid into the darkness before she could make sense of what the words meant.