Reagan was relieved when they stepped inside the Mountain Mastery Spa. She’d been sandwiched between Koi and Nate during the short walk from the parking lot. The two of them dwarfed her, and the whole thing had been intimidating as hell. As soon as she was safely inside, the men quickly said their goodbyes and disappeared.
“Damn, girlfriend, you should feel like a rock star or royalty. That prick from Texas sure has the men all on alert.” Leave it to Tally to break the tension by getting straight to the point.
“You have the finesse of a bull in a china closet, Tally. Didn’t you have to take some classes in people skills or bedside manner or, hell, tact?” Kodi’s laughter let them know she was teasing, and Tally was obviously unfazed because she’d given her friend the middle finger before returning her attention to Reagan.
“Don’t mind her. You know how authors are? They’ll smother you in flowery words, and by the time they actually get to the point, your head’s rolling around on your shoulders and you’re two shakes from dead asleep.”
Reagan shook her head at their antics, but she had to admit that she’d found Nate and Koi’s hovering unsettling. It made her wonder if they knew something she didn’t. Before she could fall into a funk, Kodi grabbed her hand and pulled her around the counter. “Come on! You have several appointments, so we can’t waste any time. And besides, the sooner you start, the quicker they bring out the goodies.”
“No happy juice for you, Kodi,” Tally reminded.
Reagan had forgotten Rafe’s casual remark on Kodi’s pregnancy. With all that had happened, she’d forgotten to see if he’d been right. “So, you are pregnant?” When Kodi nodded, Reagan jumped up and down in a ridiculous happy dance that made both the other women giggle like school girls.
“Yes. Nate and Taz bought all the pregnancy tests at the drug store and made me do them all before we met their grandmother for dinner. They should have saved the money. She took one look at me and started grinning. Now that I think about it, she danced a jig just like the one you did.”
“That’s so exciting. I loved working at Kirk and Brian’s gynecology clinic. It wasn’t all sunshine and roses, but most of the ladies were thrilled to be bringing a new life into the world. Watching their faces light up when they talked about the baby’s future was always the highlight of my day.”
“See? There you go…a sounding board. You can ask Reagan all your questions. Your obstetrician will be thrilled, and I’m off the hook since that is NOT my specialty.” Grabbing Reagan’s hand, she pulled her through the curtain at the back of the small reception area where a woman dressed in yoga clothing stood smiling at the three of them. “Let’s go. You and I get to celebrate with our beverages of choice. Kodi gets juice for her little bambino.”
“Oh brother, please tell me I don’t have to do yoga.”
“Dr. Newell suggested we work on flexibility for a few minutes several times this afternoon, so you’ll be seeing me frequently.” The tiny woman looked like she was made of wire. There wasn’t any way Reagan was going to be able to keep up with her on a yoga mat.
Kodi and Tally both burst out laughing when she felt her mouth drop open in shock. “Please tell me you are joking. Please? I’m the most uncoordinated person you know…unless I’m swimming. I’m actually pretty good at that.”
Kodi nudged her and grinned. “Maybe you can talk Tabby the Torturer into water yoga. Then you can drown her and save the rest of us.”
“Do not tell me that Master Koi signed me up for yoga.” When the smiling woman nodded, Tally groaned. “Good Lord, military men are the worst. They think everyone should be in the same physical shape they’re in. None of them seem to understand not all woman want to be able to wrap their ankles behind their heads and dance on their tippy-toes for their Master’s entertainment.”
“But flexibility will help Kodi give birth naturally, and it will help all of you enjoy your sexual encounters more.” Tabby’s enthusiasm was beginning to wear thin, and Kodi had gone white as a sheet.
“Crazy Lady Alert. Who said I wanted to do natural childbirth?” Looking frantically at Reagan, Kodi’s voice went up a full octave. “You have to tell my husbands that an epidural isn’t a sign of weakness. I don’t want to hate them while our angel is coming into the world. And I will…you know I will. And I can be mean. You think my brother is wicked bossy…oh, you haven’t seen anything yet. Just thinking about natural childbirth scares me to death.”
Reagan giggled at the desperation in Kodi’s voice. “You have a lot of time to convince them, but I’d be happy to explain the benefits of a reduced stress birth to them.”
“Damn, that’s great PC BS right there. I’m telling you it doesn’t get any more sugar-coated than that. Politically correct bull-shit is a skill…and Reagan is obviously a pro. Kudos.” Tally’s deep bow made everyone around her laugh. Standing up, she shuddered before nodding into the room Tabby had disappeared in to. “Come on. Let’s get this over with so we can get to the booze.”
Twenty minutes later, Reagan lay sprawled on the mat panting. If she could just pull in a little more oxygen, maybe she’d be able to crawl out of the room. “Holy hell. Tabby the Torturer is the meanest woman I’ve ever met in my entire life.” Turning her head to the side, she drilled Kodi with a glare. “And your husbands pay her to do this to you?” Kodi’s nod was so slight it was almost imperceptible. “Mercy. And they seem like such nice men.”
This time Kodi turned her head and glared. “Nice? Really? Wow. And here I thought you were bright.” Tally snorted a laugh from Reagan’s other side, but it would have taken too much effort to turn and give her a sweltering look.
“Come on, ladies. You’re off to your respective estheticians.” The chipper voice of the yoga beast grated on Reagan’s nerves. There ought to be law against perky torturers.
Rolling to her feet, Reagan helped Kodi then stood close until she was sure the other woman was steady on her feet. “Thanks. Sometimes I stand up too quickly, and everything swirls around me.”
“Remember, you’re sharing your blood supply now, but that’s something you’ll need to mention to your doctor if it becomes a problem.” Kodi nodded her understanding as they left the room.
“They wore us out before the waxing so we won’t have the energy to curse so much.” Tally’s words brought a smile to the lips of their escort, and Reagan suspected the smart-mouthed doctor was right.
“Stop bitching. At least you get to drink the good stuff. I’m stuck with regular juice. Taz has found all my stash of ginger ale and locked it up. Thank God Koi taught me how to pick locks or I’d be homicidal by now.” Since they were all three in one large room separated only by curtains, they continued their conversation intermittently.
Reagan listened as the technician explained the products she’d be using and what Rafe had ordered. She felt her cheeks heat when she realized the young woman was going to be seeing pink bits only her doctor had seen in the daylight. Remembering Rafe’s instruction to enjoy the refreshments, she didn’t hesitate to down a margarita in record time.
“Hey, Reagan, what did you get to drink?” Tally’s question sounded from the cubicle to her right just before she let out a whoop followed by a string of curses that would make any sailor proud. “Son of a fucking bitch. That’s my ass you know…yanking hair out by the roots shouldn’t begin there.”
“A very small margarita and I want another before YEOW. Ric-Rack. Mother of God, skip the margaritas and just bring me the tequila.” Reagan’s crotch was on fire, and the demon masquerading as her esthetician smiled like the damned Cheshire cat. Reagan blinked her eyes to clear the watery tears, certain the woman had sprouted horns for a few seconds. “Kodi, did you see the background checks on the woman smearing wax on my pink bits? Are you sure she’s a real person?”
The sweet girl with the beverage cart handed her another drink. Reagan took a huge gulp before the next strip of hide was ripped from her body. Thankfully, this drink was much stronger than the last. She might not be able to walk out of the spa, but at least the alcohol was starting to numb the pain.
“Jesus, Joseph, and Mary, have a heart, will ya? I swear I’m starting laser treatments as soon as the baby is born. This is for the birds.” Reagan didn’t have the heart to tell Kodi that hair grew faster during pregnancy, so she’d be back here sooner than normal for the next several months.
By the time she was bald from the waist down, Reagan had ingested more alcohol than she’d had in the previous five years combined. “I haven’t drinked this much since college days my. Wait. That didn’t sound right. Drank. That’s is. I drank a lot. There. Better, yes?”
“Yes, indeed. That sounded better to me. I’m a bitter drinker…no, better…yes, that. I’m better at drinking than me.” Reagan heard a loud clatter from Tally’s side of the curtain followed by a string of curses that made her giggle. “Fuck a waddler, the floor was a lot farther down than it looked. Must have been an obstacle illusion.”
“Oh boy, I’m starting to see why my Masters won’t leave me unattended after I leave here.” Kodi’s giggle was contagious, and Reagan found herself laughing even though she didn’t really understand what was so funny. “I think you mean an optical illusion, Tally.”
“Yeah, that, too. What’s next on our agenda? And it better not be yoga, or I’m going to fall asleep on the mat.”
“I’m not doing any more yoga today. Let them give me a demerit. Fuck it. I didn’t get to drink any of the good stuff, and I need a nap.”
When they all banded together, refusing to return to the yoga studio, they were led to the massage tables. “Now this is what I’m talking about. I’m looking forward to being pampered after two rounds with demons.” The small sandwiches they’d eaten after their waxing had absorbed enough of the alcohol that the room finally stopped spinning and Tally was making more sense. Shit, I bet I wasn’t any better.
“Well, you better enjoy it while you can. I saw Tabby typing on her phone like a wild woman when we didn’t go back to yoga again. I’m sure she ratted us out, but honest to God, I just can’t work up the energy to care.” Kodi’s words faded until the last few were barely a whisper.
“Bet she’s out like a light. Pregnant women need more rest during the first and third trimester. She better be writing like crazy woman during those middle months because I’m dying to find out what becomes of Trish in her last book.” Reagan had enjoyed the books Kodi sent her, but couldn’t say she was a fan of cliffhangers.
“I keep threatening to break into her laptop to get a sneak peek, but she said she’d kill me off in her next series, and I’m just superstitious enough to worry.”
Reagan giggled. “I don’t care if a book has a cliffhanger, but I like to know in advance so I’m not blindsided. I’ve read a lot of erotic fiction, but this is the first time I’ve known the author, and it was easy to see Nate and Taz inspired her first book.”
The conversation faded under the competent hands of their masseurs. Reagan was able to stay awake, but it was a continual struggle. By the time she was finished, her arms and legs felt like wet noodles. “Hell’s bells, I’m not sure I’m going to be able to walk.”
“At least we have a legitimate excuse for skipping the next round with Tabby the Torturer.”
“Point taken. Off we go to hair and nails. I’m starting to feel like we’re those three guys on the Wizard of Oz that go through the Wizard’s stuffing and buffing line.” Kodi’s observation wasn’t that far off track, and Reagan gained a new level of respect for the woman’s imagination.
By the time she’d had her hair highlighted and trimmed and her fingernails and toenails painted, Reagan had consumed enough margaritas to make walking a straight line virtually impossible. She and Tally were like a couple of steel balls in a pinball machine as they made their way down the hallway toward the entrance. Stepping into the reception area, they were greeted by a wall of Doms.
“How many do you see?” Tally’s question made Reagan giggle as she tried to focus and count the number of men standing shoulder to shoulder with their arms crossed over their chests.
“Four? No, three. Yes, definitely three, with one fading in and out.” She stared for a moment before adding, “You know, that’s a pretty neat trick. I wonder how he does that? I’ll bet he’d do good on one of those talent shows.”
“Only three, huh? Damn, I got more than that. I might need help getting home.”
“Yes, ma poupée, I believe you will.” Koi’s voice didn’t sound menacing, but Reagan saw Tally shudder.
“Hey, big brother. Be nice to Tally. She probably doesn’t know which one of the blurry figures blocking the door is you.”
“Ayasha, do not taunt your brother.” Reagan tried to hone in on which figure was speaking since she’d recognized Nate’s voice. At least she could identify one of the men.
“I’m the little sister. That position comes with certain rights, rights I have enjoyed my entire life, and I don’t plan on relinquishing them anytime in the future.” Kodi’s indignant response brought identical growls from both ends of the man wall.
“Baby, we’re keeping track of all the punishments you’ve got coming.” Taz’s voice was warm, but filled with warning Reagan thought was wasted effort, even if he was the figure fading in and out.
“She didn’t get any of the good stuff, Master Taz, so you should give her a break.” Tally leaned forward and whispered to the man Reagan was certain was Koi. “Being preggers sounds like fun until it’s spa day. Then it sucks big green donkey kicks…picks…damn, penises.”
Reagan couldn’t hold in the laughter that bubbled to the surface. “Big green donkey dicks. Holy crap on a cactus, I haven’t heard that expression since college. This was the best afternoon ever. Thanks so much for entertaining me.” Looking up at Nate, she smiled, “The ladies here were nice and didn’t say anything about my scars. But that Tabby person is evil.” She was sure he smiled, but it was hard to tell with his face fading in and out of focus. Whispering behind her hand, she snickered, “I just thought you should know.”
Someone’s hand wrapped around her upper arm as they moved out of the spa, but Reagan was so focused on putting one foot in front of the other she didn’t dare look to the side to see who it was. “It’s Master Taz, Reagan. I’ll be the one taking you home. Nate drew the short straw and is our grumpy wife’s escort upstairs.”
I’m not gonna say a thing. Nope, that’s a trap. Just keep walking. One foot in front of the other. Don’t fall down. Falling would be bad. See, there’s the car, not very much farther. Shhh…be quiet, remember, Taz can hear people.
She heard Taz snort as he seated her in the car. After she made several attempts to secure her seatbelt, he brushed her hands aside and fastened it for her, his lips pressed tightly together the entire time. She watched him in the rearview mirror as he rounded the back of the car and burst out laughing. Embarrassment assailed her, and she dropped her head into her hands. Close your eyes…maybe he’ll think you’re asleep.