I’d just finished the last of the end-of-year leave forms when I heard a soft sound and a red box materialised on my desk. Thank you very much, Heavenly Bureaucracy: 7 pm, a hell of a day, and this lands on my desk. I hoped it wasn’t urgent.
I pressed my thumb to the elaborate gold filigree clasp on the front of the box. Inside was a single scroll, dun-coloured vellum tied with a red ribbon. I opened it and perused the black Chinese characters. Not written in red, so not an edict from the Jade Emperor, but from the complexity of the large square seal at the bottom of the document it was from someone quite high up. I couldn’t read the flowing Chinese calligraphic characters but the Celestial nature of the scroll made their meaning apparent as I scanned them. My heart leapt when I saw Leo’s name.
Lady Emma Donahoe, Grand Master (Acting), New Wudang Academy of Martial Arts; Probational Regent of the Northern Heavens
Madam,
Your application to attend to the matter of your Retainer Leo Gerald Alexander has been reviewed by the Office.
In light of the nature of the circumstances it has been decided that this matter will be forwarded to the Secretary for Underworld Affairs for further consultation.
Signed and chopped
Undersecretary for Review of Promotion
Yes. Finally we were getting somewhere. The Secretary for Underworld Affairs was the head of the Department of Hell and Yanluo Wang’s second in command. Yanluo Wang, Lord of the Underworld, answered only to the Jade Emperor when it came to the judgement of those found Worthy for Immortality. After eight years of tedious bureaucratic blockades I was close to being able to enter Hell and talk Leo into coming out.
I grabbed the scroll, rolled it up and shoved it into my handbag. Simone would be thrilled. I was meeting her for dinner at a Thai restaurant nearby and then we were going shopping in Pacific Place. I walked to the door, then stopped when I heard a soft sound outside. I listened. Quiet voices. Damn, in this form I couldn’t use my Inner Eye to check.
I tapped the stone, then put my hand over it to signal that it should stay silent.
I hear them, it said in my mind. It paused. Demons, Emma, big ones.
Not again. And right when I was about to go home. This was becoming ridiculous.
Yep, the stone said. It’s only three weeks since the last bunch.
I dropped my bag on the floor of my office, strode out the door, down the hall to the lift lobby, and switched on all the lights. There was a soft exclamation, then silence.
I stormed back into the middle of the main office cubicles, stopped in front of the demons, and crossed my arms.
They had taken the form of ordinary Chinese teenagers: two boys and a girl. I studied them carefully. The stone was right: really big ones. The girl was a shape-shifter; the two boys were humanoids.
‘Looking for me?’ I said.
The demons shared a look, then the girl stepped forward. ‘Are you Emma?’
‘Yes I am.’
She smiled and tilted her head. ‘We found your wallet downstairs and wanted to return it to you. But I left it back at my apartment. Can you come with us and I’ll give it back to you?’
Wow, that was lame even by their standards.
‘I suggest you leave right now,’ I said, ‘before you find yourselves in serious trouble, kids. How did you get in past the seals anyway? I just had them reset three weeks ago.’
Her eyes glazed over. ‘Seals?’
Great, a genius leading the group.
‘Yes, seals. Ours are some of the best. Who helped you to get in?’
A fleeting expression of vicious cunning crossed the face of one of the boys. Ah, the real brains.
‘We don’t know what you’re talking about, Emma,’ he said. ‘We just have your wallet and want to give it back to you.’
‘You were told by the Demon King that if you brought me to him in one piece, he’d let you back into Hell,’ I said. ‘What did you do to piss him off? You’re the fourth bunch of kids since November.’
The girl recovered herself. ‘I’m sorry, Emma, I have no idea what you’re talking about. Don’t you want your wallet?’
‘It’s in my bag back in my office,’ I said. ‘And now I’m giving you fair warning. Turn, and I will take you in. Run, and you’ll probably starve to death locked out of Hell. If you wish to take the third option, I will oblige but I won’t be happy about it. You could attain humanity if you just gave it a try. I’m a generous master to all my demons, you can ask any of them.’
When I said the word demons they stiffened slightly.
‘Very well,’ the smart one said. ‘You know what we are. Fine. Come with us and we won’t hurt you. Our dad just wants to talk to you, that’s all. Come along, and we promise nothing will happen to you.’
‘I can take all three of you down, you know,’ I said.
The girl snorted with laughter. ‘Yeah, right. We’re all spawn of the King himself. No chance, lady. Come quietly or you’ll regret it.’
The cunning one studied me appraisingly.
‘We can take her,’ the girl told him. ‘Dad said she’s just an ordinary human. We can do it.’
I held my hand out. ‘Three against one is hardly fair. May I use a weapon?’
The second boy shrugged. He hadn’t spoken yet, and his presence radiated apathy. The follower. ‘Whatever. We can take you, doesn’t matter what you use against us.’
‘Anything at all?’ I said. ‘How about this then?’
I called the Murasame, the Destroyer, and it appeared in my hand. I held the katana in front of me and used my thumb to slide the blade five centimetres out of its scabbard in a visible threat. ‘So who’s first?’
‘That’s the Murasame, guys,’ the second boy said quietly. ‘Oh my God, we are in big trouble.’
‘Not possible,’ the girl said.
‘Why? Because the Murasame belongs to the Dark Lady, head of New Wudang?’ I said. ‘Check the first floor of this building with your demon vision, kids, and tell me what you see.’
Their eyes unfocused and their faces filled with horror as they saw the armoury that took up most of the floor.
The girl made a soft wailing sound of terror. ‘This is New Wudang. He sent us to New Wudang.’
‘Let’s get out of here,’ the cunning boy whispered.
‘Join me and I’ll treat you well, you know I will,’ I said. ‘If you run you’ll end up dead.’
The girl and the cunning boy disappeared. Running. The follower boy didn’t run; he stood and watched me.
I bowed slightly and dismissed the sword. ‘Welcome. Kneel and pledge.’
He fell to his knees in front of me and his face filled with wonder. ‘I pledge allegiance to you, Dark Lady. I am your servant. Protect me, I am yours.’
‘Rise,’ I said. ‘Someone will have to complete the taming process for me because I really am an ordinary human.’
The demon rose and the expression of wonder faded into contentment. ‘As you wish, my Lady.’
‘Stone, can you see who is on the night shift for demon duty and ask them to come up and get him?’
‘Did it a while ago,’ the stone said. ‘Nigel’s on his way.’
‘Now tell me what you did that got the King so annoyed,’ I said to the demon.
He sagged, miserable. ‘We were on guard duty for the black one.’
I raised my hand to stop him. ‘The black one? You mean Leo Alexander?’
He shrugged. ‘Yeah, that one.’
A stab of pain hit me. ‘Is he okay?’
‘Apart from refusing Immortality, ma’am, yes, he is.’
‘So, what happened?’
‘We were guarding Leo when a hawker came past with sweet bean curd. We all went to buy some, and left Leo’s cell unattended.’
‘Is Leo alive?’
‘Uh …’ The boy hesitated. ‘Define “alive”, ma’am, and I’ll be able to answer that.’
‘If I were to go down there and talk the Courts into releasing him back to the Earthly Plane, would he be able to return to his previous life?’
He thought for a while, then shrugged. ‘I have no idea, ma’am, because nobody’s ever done that.’
‘Na Zha did.’
His expression cleared. ‘Yes, ma’am, yes, he did, I remember that very well. He went in and took his parents out of Hell. So yes, it theoretically could be done.’
Nigel appeared next to me, and sagged when he saw the demon. ‘Not another one, Emma.’
‘’Fraid so, Nigel,’ I said. ‘Have the seals reset as well, please. Three of them broke in without Lok even knowing.’
‘Lok’s over at the New Folly with the girls we rescued today,’ Nigel said.
He held his hand out to the demon. ‘Take my hand.’
The demon didn’t move.
‘Good,’ I said. ‘Take Nigel’s hand.’
The demon raised his hand, hesitated for a second, then strode to Nigel and took his hand. His eyes widened.
‘Done,’ Nigel said. ‘Where do you want to put it?’
‘Wait,’ I said. ‘What number are you?’
‘Four Seven Three,’ the demon said, its voice weak with awe.
‘Okay, Four Seventy-Three,’ I said. ‘How the hell did you get in here? Our seals are the best.’
‘I have no idea,’ the demon said, as if in a dream. ‘We were just told to come to the top floor of this office building and find a woman named Emma. We were told we would be able to come in, and we did.’
‘Someone on the inside?’ Nigel said, still holding the demon’s hand and studying it appraisingly.
‘No, of course not,’ I said. ‘The Masters are completely loyal, and all the students are examined before entering. We need to recheck those prostitutes’ natures — one of them might be the cause of the problem — but the seals are failing all the time. Stone.’
‘Yes, Emma?’
‘Get together with Yi Hao tomorrow and arrange a meeting about this. Something needs to be done now about the failure of the seals; we can’t let it go any more.’
‘By your leave, my Lady,’ Nigel said. ‘I’ll take this one down and put it away.’
‘One more question before you take it.’ I nodded to the demon. ‘As far as you know, is your father planning anything against us?’
‘No,’ the demon said.
He answered very quickly. Interesting. He didn’t need to think about it at all.
‘Very well, dismissed,’ I said. ‘Thanks, Nigel. I’m going to have dinner with Simone.’
‘And about time too, Emma, it’s past seven o’clock,’ Nigel said. ‘Stop working so hard.’ He and the demon disappeared.
I grabbed my bag out of my office, returned to the lift lobby, turned off the lights, and pressed the button to call the lift.
‘You should have called for backup, Emma,’ the stone said. ‘If you’d destroyed those three and absorbed their essence you would have been converted completely to a Snake Mother.’
‘Don’t worry, I had no intention of destroying them,’ I said.
‘Just be careful, dear,’ the stone said.
The lift came and I stepped in and pressed the button for the ground floor. ‘Reminders,’ I said to the stone. ‘Have the seals reset on Hennessy Road again, have those girls rechecked, and call George about sending his kids here for punishment. What do I have on tomorrow? I might get something from the Secretary about Leo; I want to be free if it happens.’
‘Energy novices at ten and three,’ the stone said. ‘Gold wants to talk to you about the school for dragons — I’ve scheduled him for four.’
‘Lunch?’ I said.
‘Free. Any particular time you want to schedule the meeting about the seals?’
‘No, whenever.’
Its voice softened. ‘Don’t go in after Leo, Emma, you’ll get yourself killed. Or the King will find a way to hold you. Or, even worse, convert you. Don’t do it.’
‘Leo’s been in there for eight years and there’s still no sign of him relenting,’ I said. ‘If I can talk to him, he might agree to come out.’
‘You shouldn’t even be talking to the King, Emma,’ the stone said. ‘That bastard wants you and you know it.’
‘He’s a creature of honour,’ I said. ‘He won’t do anything underhand. If he does try me, he’ll do it right upfront. I can handle him.’
‘When the Dark Lord finds out he’ll have kittens.’
‘Turtles or snakes. Not kittens,’ I said with grim humour. ‘Bai Hu’s the one who’ll have kittens.’
I walked out of the lift onto the ground floor of the Academy building. The coffee shop occupying one of the shopfronts was still ablaze and the owner gave me a friendly wave from behind the counter. He was a Shen in some trouble with demons and was under the protection of New Wudang. He made a modest living out of the café, which also provided the Academy with cover. I waved back and then walked down the steps into busy Wan Chai street. The pavement was packed with pedestrians hurrying home, and Hennessy Road was bumper to bumper with buses at a standstill in the usual evening rush-hour gridlock.
Are you far away, Emma? Simone said into my ear. I have a table already.
As I pulled out my mobile phone to call her, it rang. I pressed the button to answer. ‘I’m on my way now, I’ll be there in about five minutes. Order me a coconut, will you?’
‘That’s wonderful,’ said the Demon King on the other end of the line. ‘I’m so looking forward to it. I own a strip club just around the corner from your Academy and they serve fabulous coconuts. Do you want the address? If you come I’ll tell the staff not to put poppy in the coconut, just for you.’
I sighed with exasperation. ‘Stop sending your kids over, George. They’re making my life miserable.’
‘Oh, that’s too bad,’ he said without a hint of remorse. ‘If you come pay me a visit, they’ll stop, you know. I won’t hurt you, I promise. I just want to buy you a cup of coffee and have a chat.’
‘I’m afraid I don’t have anything to say to you, Wong Mo.’
‘Oh, I’m cut. My title and everything.’
‘Loathsome Majesty.’
He chuckled. ‘Now you’re just rubbing it in, Dark Lady. But I’m serious — come and chat, and the kids will stop. I want to talk to you about Leo.’
I nearly walked into a light pole. ‘Leo? Why didn’t you say so?’ I hesitated, then, ‘Can you get him out?’
‘He doesn’t want to go, Emma,’ he said. ‘He wants to kill himself. He doesn’t understand that’s not the way it works. Please, come down and talk to him; we’re thoroughly sick of him.’
‘I need permission from the Jade Emperor,’ I said. ‘I’ve been petitioning him for years, working my way up through the Celestial bureaucracy. I’ve made it as far as the Secretary for the Underworld. As soon as I have sanction, I’ll be straight down there.’
He sounded like a little boy who’d just been granted his fondest wish. ‘You’ll really come down for Leo?’
‘Of course I will.’
‘You should have told me, Emma. I’m on good terms with Yanluo Wang, I could have speeded up the process for you. I’ll help you any way I can, and I mean it,’ he said. ‘Okay, the kids will stop. No need now.’
Simone put the scroll down beside her plate and sat back. ‘So this means there’s only one more step before we can get permission from the Jade Emperor?’ she said excitedly.
‘Yes,’ I said. ‘If we’re lucky we won’t even need to bother the Jade Emperor. This Secretary guy can give us sanction to talk to Leo.’
‘I hope that ugly dragon kid isn’t hanging around when we talk to them. I heard he crawls to all the most senior Celestials trying to win favour.’
‘Geez, that won’t work up there,’ I said. ‘He should know better.’
‘Oh, it works for some of the Celestials that are promoted rather than Raised. I heard if you find yourself a good patron up there you can go a long way.’
I sighed and rested my chin on my hand. ‘I hate politics.’
She snorted with amusement. ‘You need to resign then. You’re right in the middle of it, Madam Emma.’ She waved her hand. ‘Let’s not talk about that stuff anyway. When we have Leo back, I don’t want anything to do with any Celestials. I’ve had enough of them, particularly that blue guy.’
‘What about Daddy?’
‘Daddy’s different. He’s the most normal Celestial there is.’
‘Normal,’ I said, pulling out my wallet to pay, ‘is not a word often used to describe your father. Very much the opposite, in fact.’
‘Same goes for you, Emma.’
‘Humph.’
Simone held a CD in front of my face. ‘How about this one?’
I pushed it away from my face so that I could see it. ‘Boy bands again?’
‘Hey, these guys are cute.’ Then Simone dropped her voice and nodded towards another stand of CDs. ‘Have a look over there. In the metal section. Oh my God, that is so sad. Chinese can’t do Goth, and when they’re as old as him …’ She inhaled sharply. ‘No.’
I spun to see. It was him. Long hair, black clothes — of course he looked like a Goth, he’d invented it.
He casually flipped through the disks. Simone and I stood and watched him. It was Simone who snapped out of it first.
‘Daddy!’
She raced along the aisles and skidded to a halt about two metres from him. He didn’t seem to notice her.
‘Daddy?’
He was completely oblivious.
She took a hesitant step towards him and held her hand out. ‘Daddy?’ She dropped her voice. ‘Xuan Wu.’
I strode over and stood behind Simone. He still didn’t appear to notice us. ‘John. John Chen Wu, will you look at us?’ I said.
Simone stepped forward and touched his sleeve. Her hand went straight through. She waved her hand through his arm, up and down. He wasn’t there at all.
‘But he’s moving the disks,’ she said.
‘Look closely, Simone. The disks he’s touching aren’t moving. It’s an echo of who he was.’
‘Can he do that?’
‘I don’t think there’s much he can’t do.’
Simone sighed and stepped back. ‘Is he really that old? I don’t remember him that old.’
‘That’s how he was.’
‘I thought he was a Goth.’ She turned away and slammed her palm on one of the racks. ‘I thought he looked stupid.’
‘You can tell him one day, sweetheart, he’ll have a good laugh about it.’
Then I inhaled sharply, and she turned back. He’d selected a couple of disks and turned to purchase them. And saw us.
He looked me right in the eyes, then saw Simone. He smiled sadly.
She held her hand out to him, and he held his out, palm-up, to hers. They rested their hands on each other without really touching.
Nobody around us seemed to be aware of his existence. He dropped his hand and turned to me. He raised his hand again as if to touch my face, then lowered it. He put his hand over his heart, then held it out to me, still smiling sadly.
‘Oh God,’ Simone whispered.
‘He’s fading,’ I told her. ‘Have a last look.’
Tears running down her face, she watched him disappear.
I reached into my bag, pulled out a packet of tissues and handed it to her. She took a couple and handed it back. I took a tissue out as well and we both wiped our eyes.
‘I don’t feel like buying anything, Emma,’ Simone said, her voice hoarse. ‘Can we just go home?’
‘Sure,’ I said, my voice similarly strained. I heaved a huge sigh. ‘Let’s go.’
She nodded, holding the tissue against her face. ‘I want both of them back, Emma. Daddy. And Leo. I miss them so much.’
‘So do I, sweetheart.’
‘He knew who we were. I wonder how long ago that was. When it happened for him.’
‘We can ask him when he comes back.’