CHAPTER 3

About four that afternoon, Simone contacted me telepathically. Emma, I’m going to call you on your mobile. Can you play along, please?

My mobile rang and I answered it. ‘Yes?’

Simone sounded incredibly giggly and silly. ‘Emma, can you come pick me up at Festie? I’m here with my friends and we’re done.’

‘What? Why?’

I wanna be normal for a change, Emma, can you just do this for me? I want them to see me getting picked up like a normal kid.

‘Just come and get me, please, Emma,’ she whined.

‘I suppose. I’ll meet you at the lay-by.’

‘You’ll have to come to the car park, the lay-by’s closed for some stupid roadworks or something.’ I heard her friends giggling in the background, and one of them said something. ‘Can you meet us under the P and S?’ Simone added. ‘Right down the bottom, close to the doors, please, we have a lot of stuff. Oh, and can you give Sarah a lift home too?’

I sighed with feeling. ‘I suppose.’

‘Thanks, Emma!’ she said, and hung up. Thanks, really, Emma, she added silently. I wouldn’t ask if you had a class, and I won’t ask again, okay?

‘Tell her she can ask as much as she likes if it makes her feel good about being normal,’ I said to the stone.

Simone’s voice was giddy in my head. You’re the GREATEST, Emma!

‘You won’t be the greatest when she gets your email,’ the stone said.

I rose and collected my bag.

‘Not sending Leo?’ the stone said.

‘Nah, he’s with Meredith. It’ll do me good to get out of the office, even if it is to go through the tunnel.’

It took half an hour to wend my way through the Cross-Harbour Tunnel traffic and reach the top of Kowloon City and the massive shopping mall of Festival Walk. The mall didn’t look much from the outside, a regular two-storey rectangular monolith, but inside it plunged to six storeys below ground level. I entered the spiralling ramp down to the car park, travelling a long time before I reached the boom gate. I pushed my credit card into the slot and wound my way to the bottom floor, another three levels down. The car park was deserted this far down during the day, and I pulled up next to the lobby at the bottom of the escalators below the supermarket.

Simone wasn’t there so I pulled out my phone to call her. There was no signal so I left the car and went towards the escalator lobby. As I opened the door to enter, my hand was grabbed from behind and I was swung away from the door. I didn’t really register who had attacked me; I just knew they were human not demon: three Chinese men, all of them menacingly close. The one holding my wrist was grinning at me.

I didn’t mess around; I moved as quickly as I could and took them down. I pushed just above the heart of the man holding my wrist and his knees buckled, his eyes went blank and he collapsed. I used a simple throat block to make the second feel unable to breathe for a few seconds, and used that time to hit the third under the ear on a pressure point that put him straight to sleep. I returned to the second and shoved him in the solar plexus, knocking him unconscious as well.

I was bending to check their unmoving bodies for ID when I heard panting and running. I looked up, preparing to defend myself again, and saw the Nemesis, Peter Tong. He was wearing a designer polo shirt and a pair of slacks hitched under his bulging stomach. His face was swollen with exertion and one flailing arm held a small pistol. I moved into a long defensive stance, ready to take him down before he could shoot me.

He stopped, bent over his knees to pant for a while, then stood again. ‘What happened?’

‘Put the gun down,’ I said.

He waved the gun again and I ducked as he pointed it at my head. ‘No! I’m here to defend you!’

I moved close to him, put my foot between his feet, bent my knee into him and pushed him onto his back, taking the gun at the same time. He smelt of cooking oil and expensive aftershave.

‘You idiot, you could have killed me,’ I said. I checked the magazine; it was empty. ‘You run around with an empty gun? What are you doing?’

Simone and her friend Sarah came down the escalators and hurried to us.

‘Oh, Emma, were you attacked?’ Sarah said, waving her arms theatrically. ‘What a stroke of luck that Peter was here to save you!’

‘Wait a minute,’ I said, and looked from the Nemesis, still gasping on the ground, to Sarah. ‘How much did he pay you to do this, Sarah?’

‘Oh, you know about it? Three thousand dollars,’ Sarah said. She went to Peter and held out her hand. ‘Come on, pay up.’

‘What happened?’ Simone said. She studied the goons on the ground. ‘These aren’t … These are ordinary …’ She was silent for a moment, thinking. ‘You were mugged by three men, Emma?’

‘Yeah, and Peter came rushing with his dinky cowboy gun to rescue me,’ I said.

‘Wait, he paid Sarah?’ Simone took her friend by the shoulder. ‘He paid you to set Emma up?’

‘Nobody was going to get hurt. It was just a little demonstration to show Emma how much she needs a man in her life to defend her,’ Peter said. He clumsily pulled himself to his feet. ‘What if these men had attacked you and I hadn’t been here to scare them off?’

You scared them off?’ Simone said with scorn.

‘Look! They all fainted with fear when they saw me!’ Peter said.

I passed the gun to Simone and she held it as if it were something contaminated. I moved into a serpent-style stance: legs spread, and palms flat and facing down like the head of a snake. I jabbed a few times at the Nemesis’s eyes, making him reel back with shock, then lightly hit him with the tips of my fingers, not enough to hurt him but enough to make him feel it. I struck his chin, throat, shoulders, chest, and then made a flurry of strikes at his stomach, not hard enough to do damage. I changed to monkey style and swept low, taking his feet out from under him, and catching him just as he was about to hit the ground. I lowered him to the floor so that he didn’t hurt himself, and stepped back.

‘I took them down myself,’ I said. ‘I’m a master of seventeen different styles of Kung Fu.’

Sarah stared at me, then turned to Simone. ‘Do you do martial arts too?’

Simone hesitated, then raised her chin. ‘Yes.’

Why?

‘It’s fun,’ Simone said.

Sarah turned back to Peter. ‘I did what you asked me to. Where’s my money?’

Peter pulled himself back to his feet, then hunched over, grimacing with pain. ‘I’m horribly injured! You beat me! I need an ambulance — and a lawyer!’

‘You’re a good thirty centimetres taller than me,’ I said. ‘Nobody’s going to believe that I hurt you, particularly when there isn’t a mark on you.’

He raised his shirt, revealing his white, glutinous abdomen. ‘I’m covered in bruises!’

‘No, you’re not. Get over yourself.’ I turned away from him. ‘I think you need to find a lift home, Sarah. Or was this loser going to drive you as well as pay you blood money?’

‘My driver’s on the way to pick me up anyway,’ Sarah said with a toss of her head. ‘I don’t need to call my stepmother for a lift. My real mother can’t drive, she doesn’t need to. We have a driver; we don’t drive ourselves around like domestic helpers.’ She turned to Simone. ‘Next time I think I’ll go shopping with someone interesting, not some freak who does martial arts.’

She swung her bags as she turned to go up the escalators, then turned back to Peter. ‘I know who you are, loser, and you owe me. If you don’t pay up soon, I’ll get my boyfriend and some of his friends to spray-paint your store in Central. The inside.’ She swept away.

‘Well, thank you very much,’ Simone said, grabbing her bags and storming towards the car. She turned back to yell at me. ‘Just go and ruin my life one friend at a time, Emma, why don’t you!’

I pointed at the unconscious goons on the ground. ‘How much did you pay them?’ I asked Peter.

He pulled down his polo shirt to cover his stomach, his face red. ‘I never paid anybody! I protected you from these … these … thugs!’

I moved into a serpent stance again. ‘How about protecting yourself from me?’

He opened and closed his mouth a few times, then ran away into the escalator lobby, his arms flailing.

I returned to the car. Simone was sitting in the back, leaning against the door and weeping. I reached into my bag, pulled out a packet of tissues and handed it to her. She took it without looking at me.

I switched on the ignition and drove up towards the surface.

Do you want me to recall that email? the stone said.

No.

Your call, I suppose.

Yes.

We drove home in silence.

Later, at home, Simone came into the office and sat across the desk from me. ‘You are such a cow,’ she said.

I didn’t look away from the screen. ‘Thank you.’

She sighed and put her head in her hands. ‘Sarah is the least snotty of the snotty bitches in my grade.’

‘No, she isn’t, Simone, you are.’

She was silent for a moment, then swept back her honey-coloured hair and sat back in her chair. ‘I just want to be a normal kid. Is that so hard?’

‘I desperately want to be a normal human. Not a demon. Not a snake. Just a woman. Sometimes we have to deal with what we’re given.’

‘Thanks for pointing out all the horrible things that have happened to you because of me.’

‘I think it’s more because of your father,’ I said mildly. ‘Particularly the snake thing.’

‘When he comes back, our lives are gonna be twenty times weirder again, aren’t they?’

‘Probably.’

‘I really don’t want a weird life, Emma. Sometimes, I don’t want him back; I just want to have a normal life here without him.’

I turned to face her. ‘When he was living with your mother, she wouldn’t let him do anything Celestial in front of her. That’s one of the reasons we’re in this predicament in the first place —’

‘You can’t blame Mummy for this!’ she protested.

‘I’m not blaming her. I’ve heard a lot about your mother, Simone, and she was a wonderful, strong, smart woman who put up with an awful lot of bullshit from your dad and his assorted cronies before she put her foot down and told him she’d had enough. She wanted a normal life too. He did his best to give her that, and he did incredibly well. Jade’s told me stories about how your mother sacrificed so much — her career, her travel, everything — and he made the sacrifice too of not taking True Form, of not travelling to the Plane nearly as much, and of staying here with you.’

‘They should have known it would end in disaster,’ Simone said, her voice small. ‘Daddy should have known. Celestials can see the future. He should never have promised Mummy not to take True Form, that was so stupid.’

‘He can’t see the future when those he loves are involved. He’s said that.’

She glanced at me. ‘Really? He didn’t know whether we’d live or die?’

‘He said he could see the possibilities, and they were all nasty. The other Celestials wouldn’t tell him. The minute your mother was murdered, he knew things were heading downhill fast and did the best he could to salvage the situation.’

‘I wonder how things would be if Mummy was still alive,’ she said. ‘She could have taken me to the Plane … Daddy would be at full strength … we would be a family.’

‘I’ve said that myself more than once.’

She dropped her head. ‘Oh, sorry, Emma.’

‘Nothing to be sorry about. But when your father comes back — and he will come back, Simone — you’ll have your family again.’

‘And the weirdness will get twenty times worse.’

‘You missed my point. He’s quite capable of being normal and having a mundane family life if that’s what’s required of him. He did it for your mother, he can do it for you. Well, as normal as is possible in this crazy town.’

She brightened but didn’t reply.

‘There won’t be the low-energy issue, and you won’t be a tiny child who can’t travel to the Plane,’ I went on. ‘It’ll all work out.’

‘Maybe,’ she said. ‘But in the meantime, I have to go back to school tomorrow and be labelled a martial arts freak because I told Sarah the truth.’

‘You know what, Simone? I think every other girl — and boy — there will think you’re the coolest kid ever ’cause you can do the arts, and they’ll ask you for demonstrations. Then, by the end of the week, they’ll have forgotten all about it.’

‘I will not give demonstrations.’

‘I don’t either.’

She smiled. ‘That was a pretty convincing demonstration you gave the Nemesis.’

‘Did you see his tummy?’

She laughed, and it was wonderful to hear. ‘It was like vanilla pudding, oh my God, so flabby!’

I dropped my voice to a low purr. ‘Sexy.’

She laughed even harder.

‘Don’t cut off your friendship with Eva and Sylvie just because they’re Shen, Simone. If you do that, you’re no better than Sarah. They can be ordinary kids, just like you, and you can go shopping with them just like ordinary girls. They like you.’

She paused, thoughtful. ‘I guess you’re right.’

The entrance to the Palace of the Dark Heavens was a huge gate at the end of a long, tree-lined avenue. The road widened there to form a circle so people could be dropped off; and in the circle’s centre was a round pavilion, about four metres across, for those who arrived directly.

When Simone and I landed there was a sedan chair waiting for us next to the pavilion, a couple of tame demons standing unmoving and patient between the carry bars. Two officials in black robes were there too, and two black, heavy-set Chinese horses stood behind the sedan chair, saddled and bridled but not tethered to anything.

The officials bowed low, saluting at the same time. One stepped forward and spoke. ‘Regent of the Dark Northern Heavens, Lady Emma, Dark Lady, First Heavenly General, Serpent Who Wears the Stone of the World. Princess Simone, Only Human Child of the Xuan Wu, Wielder of the Seven Stars. We welcome you to your palace and trust you will be comfortable during your stay. It is our desire to fulfil your every wish. The hearths are warm and the servants ready to do your bidding. Please allow us to guide you to your home in the Northern Heavens.’

I bowed my serpent head to them both individually. ‘True Lord Xu, Religious Master of Ten Thousand Magical Arts and Giver of Supernatural Aid; True Lord Yu, Religious Master of Meritorious Magnificence, Original Lord of the Transmission of the Salvific Miracle, I am honoured by your welcome and greet you most cordially.’

‘I honour your welcome, my Lords,’ Simone said, and saluted. ‘All appears to be in good order, in alignment with the forces of the Celestial and pleasing to the spirit.’

Lord Xu gestured towards the sedan chair. ‘My Ladies, if it pleases you, I have arranged this transportation to your abode in the Heavens, guarded and guided by ourselves to ensure that you reach your destination in safety and comfort.’

We nodded again and I replied, ‘This transportation is most suitable for our needs and we are pleased to take it to our palace.’

The officials bowed to us again, and we walked — or in my case slithered with as much dignity as I could muster — to the sedan chair. I coiled up in my ‘senior’ place on the seat facing forward and Simone sat facing the back. The curtains over the windows closed by themselves and there was a lurch upwards as the demons lifted the chair. There was barely room for Simone’s knees to clear the seat on my side. She leaned back and closed her eyes. The jingling bits and creaking of leather indicated that the officials had mounted their horses. The sedan chair lurched again and began its horrible swaying progression towards the palace entrance.

‘You had it exactly right,’ the stone said. ‘Well done.’

‘It’s a freaking script,’ I said softly. ‘It’s all acting.’

‘It is an important ceremony that emphasises and enhances your rule over the Northern Heavens and attunes the energy flowing in the palace to your own,’ the stone said. ‘The whole thing is vital to the health of your rule and the Heavens themselves.’

‘That is the biggest load of bull I have ever heard,’ Simone said without opening her eyes.

‘How does the Tiger put up with all this?’ I said.

‘The Tiger revels in it,’ the stone said. ‘Michael’s told you about the Harvest Festival, hasn’t he?’

‘Yeah, he says it’s like the German Oktoberfest,’ Simone said. ‘Just a huge excuse to get drunk.’

‘The Tiger performs many rituals during the three days of the festival to ensure the safety and wellbeing of his family,’ the stone said. ‘Michael would be aware of that if he were further up the hierarchy of sons. For those lower down, it’s just a big party.’

‘It’s kind of disturbing the way they wear cloth patches to indicate their relationship to the Tiger so no incest takes place,’ Simone said. She opened her eyes and grabbed the side of the sedan chair as it lurched particularly violently; one of the carriers had stumbled slightly. ‘I mean, what if they met each other outside the palace and got it on? It’s so wrong.’

The stone hesitated slightly, then said, ‘Is this something that concerns you, Simone?’

She leaned back again, her expression stiff. ‘Maybe.’

‘The tradition of “calling” is a way of avoiding this. Mortals do it to mimic Celestials.’

Simone looked interested. ‘Really? I thought it was just about using the title to show respect.’

‘It’s more than just establishing the pecking order in the family,’ the stone said. ‘It’s a way of confirming exactly how closely you’re related. Junior members of the family greet senior members by “calling” them — Poh Poh, Yeh Yeh, Wai Poh for the grandmother on the mother’s side. They establish themselves immediately so everybody present, from other branches of the family too, can straightaway see where they sit in the family network.’

‘Jade told me a story about that,’ Simone said. ‘When my mother’s parents first came to visit us in Hong Kong, I went up to my grandmother and “called” her — Poh Poh probably; I don’t remember it myself. I was used to “calling” everybody in my family, but it confused them. She just stood there and said “What?”’

‘And you were standing there waiting for the “good girl” response that kids always get when they “call” their grandparents,’ I said with amusement. ‘Culture shock both ways just in the first few words.’

‘So it’s actually a way of establishing links?’ Simone said. ‘I never thought of it that way. I thought of it — like you said — as the “pecking order” in the family.’ She grinned. ‘Human families have it easy. What about your sister’s son who’s a couple of hundred years older than you and also a tree? What do you call him?’

‘Jerk-off,’ I said quietly.

Simone nodded with mock solemnity. ‘Very well, Lady Emma, when I next “call” my nephew, I will greet him as “Jerk-off”.’

I stretched out on the cushioned seat. ‘You won’t have to; I’ll probably already have done it.’

The chair lurched again and I nearly slid off the silk cushions onto the floor. I coiled up again, tightening my grip on the silk. ‘Dammit, I hate these things!’

‘I’m not surprised Daddy bought the car,’ Simone said.

The sedan chair stopped suddenly and I landed on my back on the floor in an undignified heap. I raised my tail to give me the leverage to crawl back onto the cushion but it was too late. The curtains flipped open and there we were: Simone sitting like the princess she was, and me in a three-metre-long tangle at her feet.

The officials had dismounted and stood on either side of the door to escort us out. I flipped so that I was the right way up, shook my head, and slithered out of the chair and onto the pavers in front of the palace.

Yue Gui, Simone’s big sister, and Martin, her big brother, waited for us in the forecourt of the palace. They were dressed in Tang-style silk robes: Martin in black and silver; Yue Gui in pink and gold. They bowed and saluted us. Simone and I stood opposite them and bowed back.

‘Welcome, She Zheng Zhi, Gong Zhu, Regent and Princess,’ Yue Gui said.

‘We thank you, Gong Zhu and Wang Chu, Prince and Princess,’ I said.

‘Jie Jie, Ge Ge,’ Simone said, ‘calling’ her relatives.

‘Mei Mei,’ Yue Gui and Martin both responded with pleasure.

Simone’s shoulders slumped slightly. ‘Can we stop with the formal protocol BS now?’

Martin gave her a quick, friendly hug, then smiled down at her with his hands on her shoulders. ‘Yes, we’re done. Come inside and have some lunch.’

I held back. ‘Is Sang Shen here?’

‘No,’ Yue Gui said, amused by my dislike of her son. ‘He’s still under house arrest at home, serving his sentence.’

The four of us sat at the round, six-seater table with a couple of demon servants to attend us. We were in Martin’s apartments in the palace: a courtyard house attached to the rest of the complex by a breezeway. It was on the western side of the complex, towards the centre, next to the main apartment occupied by Xuan Wu when he was present. The informal dining room had a pleasant aspect over a small garden next to the high internal defensive wall for Xuan Wu’s residence.

‘I could provide you with a variety of different foods, Emma,’ Martin said. ‘It doesn’t have to be alive. Snakes eat dead food too. I’ve seen you eat waffles. Why don’t you just try it?’

‘Just give up, Ge Ge,’ Simone said, sounding bored.

‘My serpent form doesn’t need to eat,’ I said for the millionth time. ‘You should know this yourself, Martin, we reptiles …’ My voice trailed off.

‘Yes. We reptiles,’ Martin said, jumping on the point. He gestured towards Yue Gui. ‘We are all reptiles together. Even Simone has a reptilian form. Do not be ashamed of it! And by the Heavens, Emma, do me the honour of accepting my hospitality while you are in this form!’

‘Well, I don’t need to eat for days on end as serpent,’ I said. ‘The food I eat as a human keeps it satisfied. If I’m going to start eating as a snake, then I’ll try things at home and let you know.’

‘This should be your home,’ Yue Gui said. ‘When the Dark Lord returns, I’m sure it will be.’

‘Is it his home?’ I said.

They were silent at that.

I continued. ‘No, Wudangshan is his home. This is one of his offices. And for me it will be too. For you, this is home. Both of you. And you should be named as rulers together.’

‘That would interfere with the alignment of the Heavens and would not be accepted,’ Martin said stiffly. He relaxed. ‘Father will return, and he will retake his place on the throne of the Northern Heavens.’

‘Do you have any idea how long it’s going to take him to come back?’ Simone said.

Martin and Yue Gui shared a look.

‘You do!’ Simone said.

‘You know they aren’t allowed to tell us mortals the future, Simone,’ I said, miserable.

‘Actually, nobody knows,’ Martin said. ‘Father is too elemental, too powerful and too aligned with the forces of nature to be predicted. He is so much a part of the fabric of the universe that he cannot be seen in divination. It is like trying to predict the course of the Earth around the Sun — the Cosmos just says “It will happen, leave it alone.”’

‘Both of us have caught glimpses of him though,’ Yue Gui said, and Martin nodded agreement.

‘You have?’ Simone said, visibly brightening. ‘You’ve seen Daddy?’ She jiggled slightly with excitement. ‘Did he say anything?’

‘We have caught glimpses,’ Yue Gui said with sympathy. ‘His Turtle and his Serpent are at opposite ends of the world. They cry. They seem to be searching for one another — and for you.’

‘And for you,’ I said.

‘We are reptiles,’ Yue Gui said. ‘We lay our eggs and leave them. That is the Way.’

The demons cleared the dishes, and Martin poured more tea all around. I flicked my tongue above it to test the temperature, then carefully lowered my snout into the bowl to drink without tipping it over.

‘See? Told you you’d get there in the end,’ Simone said, waving her own teacup. ‘It just took practice.’

‘And if you used a larger bowl you wouldn’t have any issue with it at all,’ Martin said.

I pulled my dripping snout out of the tea bowl, then wiped it on a napkin laid on the table for me. ‘I’m not drinking out of a dog’s bowl, thank you very much.’

‘Dragon bowl!’ Martin said.

‘You are argumentative today, Ming Gui,’ I said sternly. ‘You need to take some time and meditate on your faults; you are lacking in filial piety towards your senior. You should be more modest and obedient.’

Simone nearly spat out her tea, and Martin’s mouth flopped open with delight.

Yue Gui toasted me with her teacup. ‘I could not have said it better myself, ma’am; you are quite correct in your clarification of Ming Gui’s faults. He should write a ten-page, seven-legged essay outlining his shortcomings and his plan for reparation.’

‘Be careful,’ Martin said with good humour. ‘I may just do that, and make all of you read it.’

Simone shook her hands over the table. ‘No, that’s really not necessary!’ She brightened. ‘But you can write an essay for me on the reproductive variety in different species of annelids.’

‘Worms?’

‘Worms.’

‘Wait, the whole phylum? That’s a hell of a lot of worms! Their reproductive variety is astounding — did you choose this topic yourself?’

Simone nodded. ‘I like worms.’ She sagged slightly. ‘But you’re right, it’s a huge topic.’

‘When’s it due?’ Martin said.

‘Two weeks from tomorrow.’

He put his hand out over the table. ‘Sounds like fun. I’ll help you. Deal?’

She shook his hand. ‘Deal. You like biology too?’

He shrugged. ‘Most interesting field of science there is. Some Celestial biology makes Earthly biology look very tame in comparison.’ He turned to me. ‘Now that we’re finished, I think it’s time to move to general matters at hand. There aren’t many cases for you to hear; I’ll provide you with a list in the morning.’

‘Is Sang Shen still going on about me living in the wrong part of the palace?’ I said.

‘No,’ Yue Gui said. ‘I talked to him and offered him a compromise.’

‘Which is?’

Martin cut in. ‘Emma, if we move the fittings from the Serpent Concubine Pavilion into the Pavilion of Dark Celestial Bliss, will you move there?’

‘That’s what I’ve been asking for! It would solve the whole problem, but they said the fittings couldn’t be moved without disrupting the fung shui of Dark Bliss. The pavilion was designed to be occupied by a human not a snake.’

‘We have a fung shui master who says it can be done with some alterations to the layout to counteract the excessive yang of a snake presence. It will mean making the northern part of the pavilion larger, adding a water feature of some sort and choosing more turtle motifs in the decoration.’

‘Sounds very nice,’ I said. ‘How much will it cost?’

He hesitated. ‘Ten jin of Celestial jade.’

Ten jin?’ I said, horrified.

‘That’s, like, ten ounces, isn’t it?’ Simone said. ‘About a million dollars? That’s a bit over the top.’

‘No,’ I said. ‘It’s ten kilos. A hundred and sixty ounces. Ten cattys!’

‘That’s … what … sixteen mill?’ Simone said. ‘To add one room and a water feature? That’s ridiculous.’

‘We could have the whole goddamn pavilion knocked down and rebuilt for that,’ I said.

‘It’s made of aged Celestial teak and ebony from the plantations on the southern shores of the Northern Heavens — the trees from there take five hundred years to grow,’ Martin said. ‘The fittings are Earthly black and white jade trimmed with pure silver. The multicoloured floor tiles are semi-precious stones — topaz, garnet and tourmaline — and it will be hard to find stones that large again.’

I rested my head on the table. ‘I’ll just stay in the concubine quarters. It’s only Sang Shen who’s making a fuss about me moving.’ I raised my head. ‘Look, tell him that I’ll be happy to move into the Empress’s quarters, but he has to pay the ten jin to have it altered.’

Yue Gui nodded. ‘Good idea. I will tell him.’ She smiled slightly.

‘You really love tormenting him, don’t you, Jie Jie,’ Simone said.

Yue Gui shrugged. ‘He is in my custody to serve a sentence. And serve a sentence he will.’

‘Speaking of living quarters, there is one other matter, and then we have nothing else until tomorrow,’ Martin said. He pulled himself upright and spoke more formally. ‘Lady Emma, now that the Northern Heavens have been restored and are no longer a frigid wasteland, it would be most fitting to harmonious Celestial alignment if your family — your parents — were to be living in these Heavens rather than those in the West. This is where they belong as your family, and it is your filial duty to serve them closely. This is best achieved by them moving here.’

I stared at him, shocked. My parents had been living in the West for ten years and now he wanted them to move to a completely new — and strange — place?

‘I can’t see Nanna and Pop wanting to do that,’ Simone said mildly. ‘They’ve made a lot of friends in the West over the last ten years, Martin. I really think they’re more comfortable in the West.’

Martin opened his mouth to argue but I cut him off. ‘I will take the matter under advisement and discuss it with my parents.’

He nodded. ‘Very good, ma’am.’