I have many people to thank for helping me to the place where I can form these words now.
I want to thank Amy Krouse Rosenthal. If you got this far, you have read the body of this text, so I do not feel the need to expound too much more on this recognition. Just know that there are many spaces in between all of these thoughts that Amy has given me. In her life and in her death, Amy gave me so much. She knew how to appreciate the “crevices of life” as she described in one of her TEDx talks. She has indelibly taught me to welcome those small moments. And boy, do I appreciate them now. Thank you, Amy.
Justin, Miles, and Paris. I acknowledge you. I listen to you. I hear you. I respect you. I love you always. Thank you for reading this book prior to its publication. You honestly helped me, even with small comments, to make it better. We have many memories to make together and I look forward to every minute.
To all of the Krouses, Rosenthals, Liefs, Kaufmanns, and Froelich-Saltzmans, and Flavia. You are my world. I appreciate all of you beyond comprehension—all you have given me and the kids these past few years. Huge love, a warm embrace, acceptance, support, space, conversation, and understanding.
Thank you to my editor, Matt Harper. I mean, how much would Amy have loved the fact that my editor at HarperCollins is named Matt Harper? Matt, you plainly and simply made this book better every step of the editing process. Your manner and method of encouraging while also advising me on the path forward was a perfect blend. You have always been sensitive to the deeply personal story I have conveyed here, so thank you for that. Thank you, Jonathan Burnham, for believing that I had a story to tell. Lisa Sharkey, thank you for putting up with me through every phase of this process, knowing that I was a novice. Your guidance, sage words, and support got me through and I am so grateful. The entire Harper team made this possible—thanks for being such champions of this work and for your dedication and professionalism.
To my early readers: Claire, Ann, Ruby, Amy Rennert, Justin, Miles, and Paris. Without your words of wisdom, I would not have been able to release this book out into the universe. Each of you gave me such solid, spot-on, and sagacious advice. I am forever indebted to each of you. And to Lindsay, for helping me shape my story, I have deep gratitude.
To my friends. How did you know just exactly how to act, what to say, and when I needed you? Thanks to each and every one of you. My Heal Jason Tour brothers: Michael, Mark, Sevem, Cary, My Friend George, Dave, Jeff, and my Specter mates as well. Special shout-out to Michael for coming up with the Heal Jason Tour title. More important, thanks to your partners and wives for letting you let loose with me.
Thank you to my office mates who were really there for me when I just could not tackle the day-to-day: Larry, Tim, Nick, Nancy, Dan, C.J., and Jessica.
My brother, Rob. There are not many people I could live with in a tiny space in the middle of the desert with no shower sporting a tutu on a Tuesday. Thank you for exposing me to the playa world and for your friendship. Gratitude and love to my Mystic and Alchemist families as well.
For getting my body and mind to a place where I felt ready to embrace my blank page: Aileen, the princess of Pilates; Ron, for kicking my butt; Sarah, for sculpting me into shape; Sam Harris, though I do not know you, I feel as though I do as I hear your voice daily in my meditation practice; and Claire, for being the best yoga instructor I have ever practiced with by far. Thank you to my therapist for listening to and guiding me through this time in my life.
Kelly, I had no idea what I was getting into with the TED talk, but you had a vision. Thank you for pushing me out of my comfort zone and giving me the opportunity to step into that iconic red circle.
Thank you, Sheryl and Katie, for sharing your stories of loss and hope with me. The conversations, emails, and texts we shared have supported me abundantly. I am trying to pay it forward following your leads.
Thank you, Wendy and Jimmy, for friendship, for your amazing family, and for sharing Montana with me at such a poignant time.
Thank you, Daniel Jones and Brian Rea, for making my Modern Love column worthy of sharing with the universe. You both helped me convey my message in an impactful and beautiful way.
Amy Rosenberg. You have encouraged me not to suck for a couple of years now and I hope this holds up to that scrutiny. Honestly, though, I appreciate your love and support and your guidance through all things life has brought me in the recent past. The other Amy R., Amy Rennert, I am honestly the luckiest man to have you by my side. Thanks for helping me navigate my way through the film and literary mazes. I am grateful too that we have gotten closer and can share the intimate moments that life brings us. Betsy, thank you so much for all you do with our foundation and giving me the freedom to spend time writing this book.
Brooke Hummer Mower, you are a creative force. You are also a dear friend and I consider you a partner in this end product that you are currently holding in your hands. I can’t say enough about how you helped me see my creative vision come to life with the images contained in these pages (and for making me look half decent too).
To all of you who have reached out to me—thank you for connecting. I know I did not reach out to each and every one of you, but here in these pages I have tried to show my appreciation. Please know that our shared story will continue to be told.
To my hazel-eyed twin for filling my blank page with joy and happiness—thank you.