part0012

That was precisely what I needed to keep reminding myself throughout the day. Considering it was only afternoon, this wasn’t exactly what I’d deem to be a good day. What made it even worse was that it was my birthday.

For what it was worth, the day hadn’t started off completely bad. In fact, it was one of the best mornings I’d ever had. Well, mostly anyway.

It was Friday, two weeks after Luke and I had gotten together for dinner and a movie. That night brought on a whole slew of emotions I couldn’t manage to deal with, most of which I’d barely been able to begin to process.

My phone rang early this morning and woke me. Luke was calling.

“Hello?” I answered, still half asleep.

I heard a noise on the other end before I heard Luke’s voice. “Good morning, birthday girl.”

My eyes were closed as I smiled against the phone. “Good morning, Luke. ”

“Happy birthday,” he said softly.

“Sorry for waking you. I wanted to make sure I fulfilled my duty as a best-friend-in-training and proved my worthiness by being the first to deliver birthday sentiments.”

“Well you’ve certainly accomplished the latter part of that task, but I’ve got to know what this best-friend-in-training is all about?”

“Now I’m feeling wounded,” Luke insisted, but I could hear the teasing in his tone. “I can’t believe you’d ever think I was the kind of guy who’d do something half-assed. I’m trying my best to come to terms with the fact that I’ve been friend-zoned, but that doesn’t mean I’ll take the role any less seriously. You better believe I’m going to make sure I’m the best damn friend you’ve ever had.”

A wave of disappointment flowed through me. While I knew it wasn’t Luke’s intention to upset me, it didn’t change the fact that hearing him admit he was struggling with the way things were between us hurt me. I hated that I’d allowed things to get to a point where he was now so deeply involved. Sometimes, it even made me question if I was doing more harm than good to him by going along with his insistence that we spend time together and become real friends.

I stayed silent so long that I eventually heard Luke call, “Nikki?”

“I’m sorry; I’m here,” I responded, quickly trying to shake off my melancholy mood. “It would be a shame if you didn’t get the role because I can promise you that I’ve never seen someone so determined. I’m sure your hard work will eventually pay off.”

He laughed and shared, “Well then, I guess it’s good I set the alarm this morning despite very little sleep last night. It was worth waking up so early to know it earned me bonus points. ”

A cold pit settled deep in my belly. He had very little sleep last night. I hated to admit to myself why that might be. Luke hadn’t mentioned being with other women, but I didn’t think it was something he’d discuss with me anyway, friend-zoned or not. I had no right to be jealous considering I was the one who set this in motion. Somehow, telling myself that this is what I wanted offered very little comfort.

I tried my best to shrug off the regret and responded, “You definitely earned yourself some bonus points.”

“So, I know you’re doing Lou’s tonight, obviously, but I still can’t believe you decided to work today?” Luke asked.

“Of course, I’m going to work. I actually have a full day scheduled, too. I will be leaving an hour earlier than I usually do, but I don’t have a free minute the entire day. In fact, I think I’ve only allotted about twenty minutes for a quick lunch break.”

“Why would you do that to yourself on your birthday, babe?”

Because after my father left, it just became another day, I thought.

I shrugged my shoulders even though he couldn’t see me and I answered, “I don’t know. I have plans for tonight. It’s not like the girls are off, so what good would it have done me to not come to work. I would have just sat home alone.”

“I would have spent the day with you,” he offered without a second thought.

Luke’s words warmed me to my core, but also made me more melancholic. That’s precisely what my father would have done. On my birthday, he’d spend the entire day with me doing whatever I wanted to do. Of course, that was until he no longer cared to do it anymore.

I attempted to remain indifferent. “It’s okay…really.” Then, I wanted to confirm, “I’ll see you tonight at Lou’s, though, right? ”

“Wouldn’t miss it,” he assured me. “I hope you have a great day today, Nikki. I’m looking forward to seeing you tonight.”

Any sadness I felt melted away with those words. “Me too. Thanks, Luke.”

At that, we ended the call.

I spent a few minutes in bed and let my conversation with Luke play over in my head. I let the good and bad of it settle in me.

When I had completed that task, I got up and got myself ready for work. Throughout my morning, I received phone calls from my girls. Each of them called to wish me a happy birthday and, of course, shared their excitement for a fun night out later. I had to admit I was looking forward to it just as much as they were.

Now, I was at work in the middle of my afternoon rush and dealing with a bit of a crisis. Poor Mrs. Jones was having car trouble. Yes, believe it or not, the little spitfire was still driving.

Unfortunately, my salon was packed and Mrs. Jones was no mechanic. I remembered Monroe mentioning shortly after we moved here that Stone told her Luke’s brother had an automotive shop and that it was not too far from the salon and studio. Perhaps Logan would be able to fix whatever was wrong with Mrs. Jones’ car.

I found my phone and dialed Luke’s number. He answered after one ring.

“Hi, Luke. I’m sorry to bother you, but I was wondering if you could give me the name of your brother’s automotive shop.”

“You’re not bothering me. Can I ask why you need the name of Logan’s shop?” he asked.

“Mrs. Jones is having a bit of trouble with her car and it won’t start. I thought maybe I could call down to see if your brother would be able to look at it for her.”

“I’m down here now. Just give me a few minutes and I’ll be right there.”

“I told you a couple weeks ago you’d be able to depend on me, Nik. Of course, I’m sure.”

I disconnected the call and turned to Mrs. Jones. “Luke’s going to come and take care of it for you.”

A grin, three miles wide, spread across her face before she announced, “Oh, dear. I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy to have car trouble. Do you think he’s going to give me a ride on that motorcycle of his? I’d love to do that.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. The woman was crazy. “What about your hip, Mrs. Jones?”

“If there’s one thing I’ve learned in life it’s that you don’t stop taking chances because you’re worried about being hurt. You’ll miss out on all sorts of things if you do.”

While I knew she was referring to swinging her leg over the back of Luke’s motorcycle, she had no idea the weight of her words.

I did my best to shake them off and got back to work on finishing up one of my other clients while Mrs. Jones waited for Luke to arrive. I wasn’t quite finished with my client when Luke showed up. He came in, got Mrs. Jones’ keys, and walked back outside to look at her car.

Fifteen minutes later, after I had finished with my client, Luke came walking back in with Mrs. Jones at his side.

Mrs. Jones was beaming from ear to ear. Perhaps Luke fixed whatever was wrong.

“What’s the verdict?” I asked.

“It seems like the starter is shot. Everything powers up in the car, but it won’t turn over. That’s usually an indication that the starter is the problem,” Luke explained .

I turned to Mrs. Jones. “Why are you happy about this?”

She raised and lowered her eyebrows devilishly a few times before she enlightened me as to the reason for her mood. “Luke is going to give me a ride home today. He said he’ll have my car towed and his brother will get the part to fix it by tomorrow. Luke offered to pick me up and bring me to the shop when the car is fixed.”

My eyes shot to Luke. “Please tell me you have your truck and not your motorcycle,” I begged.

He chuckled before answering, “Yeah, I have my truck. Though, Mrs. Jones did ask me to pick her up tomorrow on my motorcycle.”

“You aren’t considering doing that, are you?”

“Oh, shush, dear,” Mrs. Jones interrupted. “When you get to be my age, you’ll realize that you’ve got a few things left you want to cross off your list before you leave this Earth. I never had a hankering to get on a motorcycle, but seeing this handsome man on one changed this girl’s mind.”

“What about Mr. Jones?” I protested. “How will he feel about this?”

I was genuinely concerned for her safety.

“Nikki?” Luke called.

When I directed my attention to him, he continued, “It’s okay. She’ll be fine. I promise I won’t let anything happen to her.”

“Well, Mrs. Jones, it looks like you’ll get a ride on the motorcycle before I do,” I finally acquiesced. I turned to Luke and ordered, “Make sure she has a helmet and you drive slowly.”

“Do you want a ride on the back of my bike?” he countered.

I shrugged my shoulders and murmured, “Sure.”

I tried to act indifferent, but the truth was I really wanted to ride on the back of Luke’s bike.

His face changed before he turned to Mrs. Jones and asked, “All set to go?”

“Absolutely,” she beamed. “See you later, Nikki.”

“Bye, Mrs. Jones. Thanks for helping, Luke.”

“No problem, babe. I’ll see you tonight.”

I gave him a smile before the pair took off and I got back to work.

The rest of my afternoon passed rather quickly considering I left no time for breaks. Before I realized it, my last client was finished and I was locking up the salon for the weekend.

I made it home and immediately got in the shower. I always liked to get in the shower as soon as I got home from work since I had hair stuck to me. It drove me crazy.

Since I left work early, I had the luxury of time on my side. Knowing this, I decided to fix my hair as soon as I was out of the shower, but waited on the makeup and clothes. I loosely wrapped one of my satin robes around me and took some time to just relax.

I had been lounging comfortably on the couch in the family room for a half hour or so when there was a knock at the door. I was grateful for the distraction because I found my thoughts had drifted to my family. Nearly the entire day had passed and I hadn’t received a call or even a text from any of them. I had grown accustomed to their indifference, in my mom’s case, and hatred, in my sisters’ cases, but it didn’t mean that it hurt any less to not hear from my family on my birthday.

I got up off the couch and moved to the door. I opened it and found Luke on the other side.

“Hey,” I greeted. “What are you doing here?”

Luke didn’t answer.

He scanned me from head to toe.

When his eyes came to mine, there was pure lust in his gaze. It was then I realized I was standing in front of him in just a robe. Given my height, it just barely covered my girly parts.

I stepped back behind the door and opened it further to allow Luke to come inside. Once he was inside, I closed the door behind him and waited for him to offer an explanation as to why he was there.

“I had a bunch of things I wanted to say to you before you opened the door,” he started, his voice a low growl. “Now I can’t remember a fucking thing.”

“I’m sorry. I wasn’t expecting you…or anyone, for that matter.”

Luke ran his hand through his hair and mumbled, “Fuck, I miss you.”

“Luke…” I trailed off.

He pushed past his distress and shared, “I wanted to come by and wish you a happy birthday in person since I didn’t do it this afternoon when I saw you. In addition to that, I wanted to take you to your birthday celebration at Lou’s tonight. I thought you should be able to enjoy yourself completely tonight and didn’t think you’d be able to do that if you had to worry about driving yourself home.”

Wow. That was really nice of him.

I wasn’t sure if it was the depressed mood I settled into when thinking about my family just before he arrived, the fact that he’d just did the sweetest thing for me, or a combination of the two, but I had to show him how I felt in that moment. I took a step in to him, pressed my body against his, and wrapped my arms around his neck.

Luke’s arms closed around me and held me tight. In that moment, he made me feel more special than I had felt in years. Standing there in his arms, what had just happened proved to me that, once again, my family had given me the bad, but Luke was managing to give me good .

“Happy birthday, baby girl.”

“Thank you,” I whispered as I squeezed him a little tighter.

When I pulled my arms from around his neck and took a step back, he asked, “What are you planning on wearing tonight?”

I looked down at myself and readjusted the belt on my robe. “Not this.”

He grinned at me and noted, “I figured that much. I was wondering if you were planning on a dress or skirt.”

Truth be told, I hadn’t really decided. “I’m not sure yet. Why?”

“I thought I could give you a birthday gift and take you to Lou’s on the back of my bike. If you want to wear a dress or skirt, I’m cool with it, but thought you should know how I planned to give you a ride tonight.”

“You brought your bike?”

Luke dipped his chin and smiled at me.

“I can find something appropriate to wear. Let me go get ready and we can head out.”

“Take your time.”

With that, I walked back to my bedroom and got myself ready while Luke waited in the family room for me. When I emerged from my room, I had on a pair of black, shimmery shorts and a loose-fitting, silver tank.

After Luke’s eyes traveled the length of my legs, he stood and walked over to me. “You look beautiful.”

I offered him a warm smile. “Thanks.”

Together, we walked out to the parking lot and over to Luke’s bike, where he handed me a helmet.

“Sorry if it’s going to mess up the hair. You’ve got to wear it.”

My hair was down and it was a short drive to Lou’s from my condo. My hair would easily survive the trip.

I pulled the helmet over my head, while Luke did the same with his. He got on the bike and directed me to get on behind him. I did as he asked. Luke then reached behind his back, grabbed my wrists, and pulled them around his waist so that my hands met at his abdomen. I scooted my booty forward and pressed my chest to his back.

Seconds later, I felt the bike vibrating beneath me. My arms tightened around Luke’s middle as he pulled out of the lot.

When we arrived at Lou’s fifteen minutes later, I felt exhilarated. Luke parked the bike and, just as I was about to get off, his hand grabbed my leg and squeezed it tight. As much as I reacted to the touch from him, the force with which he gripped my leg frightened me.

Slowly, he loosened his extraordinarily tight hold and gently squeezed my leg. I looked down to where his hand was and watched as he used one finger to point toward the back side of the bike.

His voice was muffled through the helmet, but I heard him say, “The exhaust is hot. Don’t let your leg touch it when you get off.”

Oh. He wasn’t trying to hurt me. He had been trying to make sure I didn’t get hurt. More good from Luke.

I carefully got off the bike and took off my helmet. Luke removed his and asked, “Well?”

“That was the best birthday present I’ve ever received,” I beamed. “Wow, it was so much fun. I can’t wait to do it again. Thank you so much!”

“You’re welcome, Nikki.”

At that, Luke and I made our way into Lou’s Restaurant. My friends insisted on dinner before a night of karaoke at the saloon above the restaurant. I wasn’t a singer, but if they got a little alcohol in me I’d have no problem getting up on stage .

Luke and I walked into the restaurant together and were greeted by our friends who were already seated. Everyone stood and gave me hugs, kisses, and birthday wishes. As was always the case at Lou’s, we had a fabulous dinner with great food and even better conversation. During every outing I had with this group of people, I felt more and more connected to them. Of course, Charley, Monroe, and Emme had been like sisters to me, but I was finding that Wes, Zane, Stone and, particularly, Luke were becoming people I could count on. It frightened me, but I couldn’t deny how good it felt.

When we finished dinner, we all went up to the saloon where Monroe addressed us, “Alright, who’s singing tonight?”

As suspected, all four girls were on board and the guys sat back wanting nothing to do with karaoke other than as spectators.

It was a relatively quiet night at Lou’s. This wasn’t to say that it wasn’t busy, but it certainly wasn’t the busiest I had ever seen it. Given that, the girls and I had the floor to ourselves when it came to karaoke. We were in the mood for some fun, upbeat eighties music. Emme and Monroe each sang a song individually, but then the four of us did a couple of songs as a group. I ended up closing out my celebration with a solo performance. Perhaps it was a bit of the nostalgia I was feeling from earlier in the day or maybe it was from the alcohol in my system, but I decided on a song that didn’t exactly have the same feeling as the ones I sang with my girls, Here I Go Again by Whitesnake. It was a karaoke classic perhaps, but definitely not one that had the same vibe as those preceding it. Regardless, I felt like it fit my life perfectly.

After I finished my solo and the girls and I decided our karaoke session was done, I walked over to Luke. He was already standing and, when I came to his side, he put his arm around my waist.

“You were phenomenal,” he remarked. “I never knew you had all that in you.”

“I have to admit I’ve had a little bit to drink,” I informed him. “It’s the only way I can ever do karaoke. I don’t exactly have the world’s greatest voice.”

Luke’s gaze warmed and he admitted, “I like your voice.”

I melted into his hold on those words and felt Luke’s fingers grip my hip a little tighter.

The karaoke sessions ended and music pumped through the saloon. I took the girls out onto the dance floor with me. We danced a long time before calling it a night.

I thanked all of my friends for celebrating with me. If I was being honest, I had to admit I was excited to leave because I couldn’t wait to ride on Luke’s bike again.

He gave me my helmet and we both got on. This time, I wasn’t shy. I pressed my body to his and slid my arms around his sides to his front. No sooner did I do this than Luke brought the bike to life and took off.

I used the time on the ride home to consider everything surrounding the situation with Luke. As time went on he was proving to me that he planned to stick around. Of course, it hadn’t been nearly long enough for me to know whether I could trust that he wouldn’t ever leave.

What was most worrisome was that despite my insistence to remain distant, I was finding I couldn’t do it so easily. Luke was charming and sweet. He was proving to be dependable and he stayed true to his word. I knew if he continued to be a presence in my life that he’d likely only show me that these qualities were just a part of who he was and not just something he was doing to impress me. What bothered me about it was that I knew if I couldn’t figure out a way to let go of the things that hurt me in the past, I’d probably lose having Luke in my life in a way that I hadn’t wanted anyone to be there before.