part0030

I was sitting next to Luke as he turned our rental onto the road where my childhood home was located. We were nearly at my mother’s house.

We had just arrived in Ventura about thirty minutes ago, and it was three days after Luke won the gold at the Olympics. The Big Air event was toward the end of the Winter Games; however, we didn’t leave immediately because the guys needed to be there for the closing ceremony.

Everyone had thoroughly enjoyed the final days in Salt Lake City; and this morning, while our friends made their way back to Rising Sun, Luke and I hopped on a flight to Ventura.

Immediately following my phone call with Megan and right up until Luke won the gold, I’d been feeling uneasy about coming back to California. Mostly, I was worried how I’d handle myself equipped with the new information they were unaware I had. Somehow though, when I stood there watching Luke celebrate his win, I made a choice.

Actually, it was more like two choices .

First, I’d decided that I’d never let anything stand in the way of me allowing myself to feel loved by someone ever again and I’d never hold back giving my love to someone who deserved it.

The second choice was directly related to the situation with my mother and sisters. After landing his final trick, Luke told me that he wasn’t surprised he won. Because he had put in the hard work, he expected he’d have a good outcome. Those words made me realize that I wanted to put in work on this situation.

It was no surprise to me that since finding out about what my mother and Jessie did to my father, I’d been craving retribution. I wanted justice for my father. I wanted it for the both of us. Deep down, I knew that he’d tried everything he could think of to prove his innocence, but with a lack of evidence, he failed. He didn’t want me holding on to my anger and resentment. Neither did Luke. Unfortunately, it wasn’t so easy for me to brush it off and while I knew I wouldn’t likely ever see my mother convicted for what she did, if nothing else, I needed her to know that I knew.

Luke parked the vehicle, turned toward me, and asked, “Are you sure this is what you want to do?”

I shook my head. “No. But I know it’s what I need to do.”

He gave me a look of understanding, exited the SUV, and came around to meet me at my door.

I held Luke’s hand all the way up to the front door. I started a chant in my head: Do what you came to do and get out.

No sooner did I ring the bell when the door opened.

Standing in front of us was Megan.

“Nikki,” she greeted, her voice was so soft.

“Megan,” I returned, keeping my voice firm and strong.

Megan was fidgeting with her hands, making it evident to me that she was nervous. It struck me as odd .

Her eyes went to Luke. “You must be Luke,” she noted.

Luke dipped his chin in acknowledgement.

Megan stepped back as I held on to Luke’s hand and walked into the house. She followed behind us as we made our way into the family room, where I found my mother sitting with Jessie. They were not alone. Derek the Dickhead was also in attendance.

I was thrown a bit by Derek and tensed the moment I saw him. Luke needed to know what he was dealing with, so I made introductions.

“Luke,” I started and lifted my hand to point in the opposite direction. “This is my mother, Susan, my sister, Jessie, and Megan’s boyfriend, Derek.”

Luke’s hand tightened around mine as he took in Derek. Unfortunately for Derek, he had no idea that Luke knew what he’d done to me. This was unfortunate because if he had known, he might have reconsidered standing up and walking over to try and shake Luke’s hand.

“Nice to meet you, Luke,” he began. “We saw you on television. Congratulations on the gold medal.”

Luke didn’t acknowledge Derek and the anger radiating from him was unmistakable, so I quickly launched into the reason I was there.

“I came here to tell you all in person that this is the last time you’ll ever see me.”

“What?” Jessie scoffed. “You flew out here to say that?”

I made eye contact with her for the first time since I entered the house. Fury boiled up inside me. I held her stare and asserted, “Yes.”

Jessie rolled her eyes, but it was my mother who spoke next. “Why are you so angry all the time, Nikki? If you knew you were coming here to rile everyone up, perhaps you shouldn’t have come,” she suggested.

As I locked gazes with my mother, a cold emptiness settled in the pit of my stomach. I felt nothing but unadulterated rage and resentment mixed with the slightest hint of disbelief.

“There was no other option for me. I guess I could have called to tell you all of this or, better yet, never called again. But the truth is, I wanted to see your face when I told you.”

I took in a deep breath and let it out before I continued, “I’m done with you. All of you. And when I walk out the door minutes from now I’m leaving all the hurt and anger here with you. I don’t know how you wake up every morning and look yourself in the mirror. You robbed me. You stole the one thing in this world that meant everything to me. Everything I loved about my childhood went out the window the day you selfishly took him away.”

Megan cut me off, “Who? What are you talking about?”

I glared at her and scowled, “My father.”

My mother gasped and my eyes shot back to her.

“Yes, that’s right. I know what you did.”

I looked at Jessie and insulted her next. “Before I moved from California, I already thought you were a bitch to do what you did to me. Now I know that you’re just as much of a shameful lowlife as your parents.”

“I’m so confused,” Megan interjected.

I ignored her and directed my attention back on my mother.

“You could have asked him for a divorce.”

“You don’t know anything,” she shot back. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I know everything,” I snapped. “I know what you and Carl did. I know you brought Jessie into it and I know that you stole him from me.”

“Where are you getting this from?” Jessie asked.

“Our dad?” Megan chimed in. “He left us years ago, Nik. What are you talking about? ”

I shook my head and smiled at her in disbelief. “No, Megan. My dad. He’s just my dad. You see…Michael is my dad; you and Jessie are Carl’s daughters.”

Now Megan gasped and looked to our mother.

I didn’t allow them to respond. “Of course, it’s true. Except for Luke, I’m the only one in this room that isn’t a fucking liar.”

“Still a bitch, I see,” Derek added.

“Oh, shut the fuck up, Derek,” I shot back.

“I have a right to speak here,” he retorted as he took two steps toward me.

Luke had been quiet up to this point. Derek speaking to me the way that he did meant Luke needed to no longer be quiet.

“You don’t say a fucking word to her,” Luke clipped as he moved himself between me and Derek. “This situation involves her, her mother, and her sisters. You say another word to her and I’ll show you what it’s like when someone puts their hands on you even when you’ve asked them not to.”

“Are you threatening me?”

“Absolutely not. A threat would indicate that I may or may not do what I’ve just said. I’m guaranteeing you that if you say another word to her, you aren’t going to like the outcome. In fact, I’m so inclined because the last time she was in your presence you thought it was wise to assault her. The only guy I know that does something like that and then lies about it is a pussy. My guess? If you decide to test me on this, you’re going to really embarrass yourself when your girl here finds out just how big of a pussy you are.”

With a grin on my face, I watched as Derek slunk back away from Luke.

“Nikki?” Megan called from beside me.

I turned to see tears in her eyes .

“It’s the truth. Years ago, those two and Carl put together an elaborate scheme to get my father out of the picture. Instead of asking for a divorce, she had Carl beat the shit out of her while we were at school. Jessie stayed home from school that day. Carl roughed her up as well. When my dad came home from work at lunchtime to be with them and to make sure Jessie was feeling okay, he found that they’d both been beaten. When the cops arrived, they lied and said he was the one who had done it.”

“He never left me. Instead, he was locked up in prison for the last sixteen years for a crime he didn’t commit because there was no evidence to prove otherwise.”

I turned to my mother and Jessie. “He’s out now and he’s in my life. He is every bit the man I remembered him to be. And he loves me. And he’s shown me more love in the last month and a half than the three of you have in my entire life combined. I’m just sorry you’ll never pay the price for what you’ve done.”

“Get out,” my mother demanded.

“Don’t worry, Susan, I’m going. I can’t bear to spend another minute in this place.”

“Nikki, wait,” Megan called, her voice filled with desperation.

I shook my head. “Sorry, Megan. I’m done.”

At that, I turned and left the room to walk to the front door. Luke followed behind me.

When we got to the car, he hesitated to turn it on.

“Please get me out of here,” I begged.

Luke didn’t hesitate any longer. He pulled away from the house I grew up in and I didn’t even try to get one last look at it.

The evening after the showdown Luke took me to a hotel, where he spent the rest of the night comforting me. The next morning, we met up with my dad and I told him what happened. We talked about it and moved past it because there was nothing left for us to do. That evening, Luke brought me home to Wyoming and I put California out of my mind.

Two weeks after I left, I received a call from Megan. I didn’t answer and I never listened to her voicemail. I didn’t believe she knew anything that had happened with my father and don’t blame her for anything that happened to him, but she still did plenty of unkind and hateful things to me over the years after he was gone. I decided to move on from the toxicity of that situation and refused to allow it to seep back into my life.

On the bright side, my dad had just arrived back in Rising Sun last night for another visit with me. He told me he had reached out to Levi and was meeting up with him to discuss some details about work. Apparently, over the course of the last few weeks, they had kept in touch and Levi was able to have my dad do some work for him from California.

Now, I was at the salon and it was nearing closing time. Mrs. Jones was my last client of the day. She was a bit melancholy because Mr. Jones hadn’t been feeling well. Ever since he’d been hospitalized a couple of months ago, his health had been deteriorating.

“I don’t think he’s got much time left,” she admitted as I finished styling her hair.

“Oh, Mrs. Jones, I’m sure he’s going to be fine.”

The truth was, I had no idea. I hadn’t ever met Mr. Jones in person, but I felt like I knew him from all my conversations with his wife. If something happened to him, I knew she’d be devastated and I couldn’t bear to witness her in pain like that .

“My dear, it’s close to the end,” she insisted. “I can feel it. And no matter how much I don’t want to believe it’s coming, I need to prepare myself for it.”

“How do you do that? How can you possibly prepare for something like that?”

She shrugged her shoulders as her hands began to tremble. “I’m not sure how. I guess it would mean taking the moments that I have left with him and memorizing them for everything they give me. I don’t know how I’ll go to bed at night without him there to hold me or how I’ll wake up every morning without someone to make breakfast for. I guess I prepare for it by living completely in every second we have left together so that when he’s gone I’ve got those memories to help me through. Truth be told, I’m not really sure there is a way to get yourself into a frame of mind where you become okay with the thought of losing the love of your life.”

She broke my heart. I knew what it was like to live without someone you loved. It’s soul-crushing pain that sears through your body and stays there forever. I hated that Mrs. Jones was going to have to experience that.

“From now on,” I started. “I’m coming to your place instead of you coming here. You need your time with Mr. Jones and I want you looking fabulous for him. So, we’ll set it up so that you can gobble up every second you have left with him.”

“You don’t have to do that, Nikki. I don’t want you to go out of your way for me.”

“I want to do this for you. In fact, if you don’t fight me, I’ll bring Luke with me when I come to visit.”

“Alright, let’s get my next appointment scheduled then.”

Just like that, Mrs. Jones’ mood shifted and she was in better spirits.

We scheduled her next appointment and I reassured her that I’d have Luke in tow when I arrived. She couldn’t wait .

After Mrs. Jones left, I cleaned up, locked up, and made my way home. Luke was going to be meeting me at my place tonight.

The other thing that had happened over the last few weeks was that I had regular communication with my father. I missed having him around. We made it a point to talk with each other nearly every day. Sometimes it was just a couple of texts back and forth if we were both busy with work, but other times we’d chat on the phone. I was beyond grateful to have a relationship with him again and wouldn’t allow our communication to go by the wayside.

When I pulled into the parking lot at the condo, I saw Luke’s truck was already parked outside. I had expected he’d arrive ahead of me.

I stepped through the front door and immediately sensed something was off. When I walked into the family room, my suspicions were confirmed. Luke was there and something wasn’t right because he was not alone.

“What the hell are you doing here?”

“I tried calling,” she answered meekly.

“The fact that I didn’t answer or return your call should have indicated that I wanted nothing to do with you. I thought I made that clear when I left California weeks ago.”

“Babe?” Luke called.

I directed my attention to him.

When he had my eyes, he encouraged, “Listen to what she has to say.”

Had he lost his mind? Was Luke actually suggesting that I be nice to her and give her a chance to speak when she didn’t deserve it?

It was then I lost my voice. I was in complete and utter disbelief that he’d be okay with putting me in this situation.

“Nikki, just give me five minutes and if you want me to go after I’ll leave. I promise.”

I nodded my agreement.

“When you left Ventura, I was in shock. I didn’t know about anything that had happened and I took the time to process it all. Mom and Jessie didn’t confirm or deny anything. They wouldn’t speak to me about it. Two weeks after you left, I got a phone call. The timing was unbelievable. Carl got remarried about ten years ago. His wife was on the phone and she told me that he had asked her to call me.”

Megan paused a minute, struggling with something. I gave her the time she needed because she had certainly piqued my curiosity at the mention of Carl wanting to speak with her.

She finally continued, “Carl was in the hospital and didn’t have much time left. He’s been battling cancer for the last two years, but was at the end of the line. She said he wanted to speak to me in person, so I went there. He confessed everything to me. When he confessed, he said he wanted to pass knowing that he’d come clean and that I had forgiven him.”

It made me sick to my stomach.

She went on, “I told him there was only one way I’d ever be able to forgive him. He needed to come clean to the police. He had to tell the truth and he had to find a way to see that justice was served. He agreed, so I immediately had two officers sent to his hospital room. He confessed to them and over the next week they gathered the information they needed from him. He had some evidence to prove that his confession was truthful and gave it to them. I think part of it had to do with the firearm that was planted, but I don’t know the full story. Mom was arrested and, a few days later, Carl passed. ”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

“Are they going to clear his record?” I wondered. “What are they going to do about his wrongful conviction?”

She smiled at me and explained, “They’re working to make things right for him. They owe him a lot of money and apologies. I wanted to find him and tell him, but I wasn’t sure if he’d want to see me. I decided I’d tell you first, so that’s why I’m here.”

“Will you call him and tell him to come here?”

“He’s here?” Megan asked, her eyes rounding.

I nodded. “He came to visit me.”

Luke pulled his phone out of his pocket, tapped on the screen, and held it up to his ear.

“Yeah, Michael. I’m going to need you to come here to Nikki’s place as soon as you can,” he informed him.

Luke waited while my father answered.

“She’s fine. Everything is fine. We just need you to come here.”

“Alright. See you in a few.”

Luke disconnected the call and shared, “He just left Levi’s office. He’s on his way.”

I looked back at my sister.

Unshed tears filled her eyes.

“I’m sorry, Nikki,” she started. “I’m sorry for what Carl, mom, and Jessie did. I’ve always thought of Michael as my dad, so I didn’t feel the connection to Carl. I knew when he told me the truth that I needed to do what I could to make things right.”

I couldn’t speak, so I nodded.

“I’m sorry for what I’ve done, too. You’ve always been a good sister and I was too easily influenced by everyone else to do the right thing. I never was as strong as you were. I’ve always been envious of your resilience and determination. And I’m sorry about Derek. I know the truth now and I’m sorry I didn’t believe you back then. You deserved better than you got from me. From all of us. I can’t change what happened, but I hope that you’ll be able to forgive me one day.”

“Are you still with him?” I asked, referring to Derek.

She shook her head. “I ended things with him the day you left.”

Maybe she was genuinely sorry. Maybe the toxic mess that was my mom and Jessie hadn’t completely seeped into Megan. Maybe there was still hope for us.

As I mulled over everything I’d just learned, I realized Megan was standing there waiting for any indication of what I was thinking.

I walked over to her and wrapped my arms around her. She completely broke down crying and grabbed onto me.

“I’m so sorry, Nik. So sorry for every awful thing I’ve done to you.”

“I know,” I responded. “We’ll find a way to get there. It’s going to take time, but I’m sure we can get there.”

Not even a minute later, we heard the door to the condo open.

My dad walked in, saw Megan, recognized her immediately, and tensed.

“Megan’s got some news, Dad,” I explained.

He swallowed hard, but otherwise made no move.

“I’ve missed you so much,” she started. “I never let on how much it hurt when you left, but I felt like I was dying inside without you.”

I watched his body go rigid. He had no idea she felt this way. Hell, I had no idea she felt that way.

When he didn’t speak, she blurted, “Carl confessed to everything about a month ago just before he died from cancer. Mom’s been arrested and the police and the state of California are working to make things right by you. I expect you’ll be hearing from someone soon about that.”

“I’m being exonerated?”

He was quiet a moment before he admitted, “I loved you like you were my own, Megs. Always did.”

“I know. I never knew I wasn’t until Nikki showed up a few weeks ago. I guess that’s why it hurt so bad when you left.”

My dad held his arms out to her and urged, “Come here, kiddo.”

Megan walked over and hugged my dad…our dad.

As they had their moment, Luke came up beside me and wrapped his arms around me.

I smiled up at him and leaned into his body. “Yeah, I think I am.”

“I’m proud of you,” he praised.

“This guy I know told me once that if you work hard at things that are worthwhile, the rewards you reap are immeasurable.”

“He sounds like a smart guy.”

“He is,” I insisted. “He’s hot, too.”

Luke kissed the top of my head. When he pulled back, I asked, “Do you mind if they stay for dinner?”

“Not at all, baby.”

With that, I broke up the reunion between Megan and Dad. They stayed for dinner and we had a great night. I tried not to let myself dwell on Megan’s wrongdoings. She apologized and I had to make a choice about what I wanted. I’d grown so accustomed to cutting people out when they hurt me that I knew this would be a long road ahead. Despite that, I believed it was worth trying. In the end, if it didn’t work out the way I hoped, at least I wouldn’t have any regrets.