ADAM WALKER—JOURNAL ENTRY
Irony—Evie was sure I’d left her to be with Anna, when really all I’d wanted was to get back as fast as possible to be with Evie. She’d said she was fine with me going, but when I got back I found she really hadn’t been. For a moment there I was worried I’d lost her, my heart banging out its haphazard beat in my chest. She’d been pissed, both figuratively and literally.
Anna came through with the documents and I finally feel like I’m on the right track. She wanted to catch up in Philly and I know why, but for the first time, it didn’t interest me—she didn’t interest me. I gave myself a satisfied pat on the back as I drove past her office and didn’t even slow down. She’s not the one I want to be my last.
I have got to stop drinking. My last fuzzy recollection of New Year’s Eve was lying on the bathroom floor, the room spinning and my stomach churning as Adam stroked my hair.
Adam.
He came back, and although I can’t recall the conversation on the deck all that clearly, I have an overwhelming sense that he chose me, and that my bliss bubble has been repaired. Closing my eyes, I tried to replay what Adam and I had talked about. One thing stood out, bringing a tear to my eye. I had an island in his heart. Not only was he thinking of me with affection, but he had also recalled what I’d told him about Mimi and shown me he’d been listening by using her analogy.
Flashes of penises came to mind, making my heart skip before I disappointedly remembered none of them were Adam’s.
Angie, Patrón, and porn—that was a lethal combination.
I chuckled, fully expecting my head to pound, but I was surprised that my skull didn’t echo with the sound bouncing off my dehydrated brain as it usually did. I guess vomiting all the alcohol back up had been a good thing.
Oh that was right, there’d been vomit, and a lot of it.
As I ran my hand over my body, I tried to remember how I’d gotten undressed and into bed. Nope, no memory of that particular event whatsoever.
The bed compressed as someone climbed in behind me, wrapping a muscular arm around my waist.
“Good morning, sleepyhead. How do you feel?”
My eyes closed as the contours of his body pressed against me. Adam’s voice was so smooth and sensual. I’d missed it over the last couple of days. Soft kisses traced my shoulder blade, sending a wave of goose bumps down my spine. I relaxed, allowing him to pull me closer to him, my butt wiggling into his hips until we were spooned perfectly.
“Did you undress me last night?” I asked with a smile.
“More like early hours this morning. I had to wait until you’d emptied your stomach before I could move you to tackle your clothes.”
I didn’t know how I felt about that. I wish I’d been sober and awake to enjoy it. Picturing the scenario of Adam unbuttoning my jeans and slowly sliding them down my legs gave me a shiver. I wondered if he had been turned on as he uncovered my body, layer by layer.
“So you took all my clothes off except for…” I reached down, double-checking my panties were still there. “Except for one item.”
Adam laughed. “Yeah, well, I couldn’t put you to bed dressed. You’d puked all over yourself.”
I cringed. Any images of a sexy unveiling went poof from my mind.
“And on my jeans, and the quilt you were lying on.”
“Oh my God, I’m so sorry. Even my bra?”
Adam’s face rubbed against my back as his hands ran over my stomach until he reached my breasts and cupped them. “No, the bra coming off was for my benefit. But don’t worry, I didn’t take advantage while you were unconscious.”
Something felt…different. Adam was kissing my neck, but there was no tickle.
I turned to look over my shoulder. A fresh-faced man grinned back at me.
“Adam, where’s your beard?” He still looked devilishly handsome, only five years younger.
“I shaved it off.” He ran his hand around his smooth jaw. “It was okay to look at, not so good for kissing you, though.”
I couldn’t believe he’d gotten rid of his beard because of my chafing. If my mouth didn’t feel like a trash can, I would have tried the new Adam out.
Adam had a wicked grin on his face. “Besides, I figured if you could defuzz, then so could I.”
What?
He chuckled cockily. “I thought a raccoon had climbed through the window and gone to sleep in your waste basket in the bathroom; then I realized it was your beaver, ripped out on wax strips.”
My cheeks flared hot, but Adam was laughing his ass off.
“I’m hoping you went through all that pain for my benefit. That I’ll get to see, and touch…and taste.” He bit his lip suggestively.
I nodded as heat radiated down through my body due to the images Adam was invoking.
“So shaving this was the least I could do.”
“Annabel said you wouldn’t shave it off for her,” I commented with a grin.
Adam brushed the hair from my forehead, tucking it behind my ear. “Don’t give Abannel, as you called her last night, a second thought.”
I laughed at my name mix-up.
“Remember when we first met, I told you that I’ve known some stunning girls who have been really conceited and ugly on the inside? Well, she’s queen of the conceited, cold-hearted bitches.” His fingertips tickled up the side of my body, making me giggle.
“So I’m the other type of girl? The regular girl?”
“No, baby, there is nothing regular about you.” His lips brushed my cheek. “You are a category all your own. You are beautiful and sexy and sweet. You have looks to rival Annabel’s and a heart of gold.”
My heart swelled. I’d never met anyone like Adam. I’d never had anybody straight out tell me what they thought of me, and it gave me such a confidence boost, to think someone as amazing as Adam thought so highly of me.
We snuggled together, wrapped in each other’s arms. Adam was dressed only in his painting jeans, the button on them torn off so they sat low on his hips. My hand tenderly ran up and down his abdomen, over his chest and down his arm, and he squeezed me tighter. As my fingertips descended the peaks of his abdomen once more, continuing down to his jeans, a groan rumbled in his throat.
As his face brushed against my hair, he said hoarsely, “You can keep going if you like.”
My heart rate sped up instantly. With a slightly firmer hand, I ran the tips of my fingers under the band of his jeans.
“Hmm, no underwear,” I observed.
“You’re lucky I’m wearing jeans. You looked so inviting lying here I got hard just looking at you. I was tempted to slip in beside you while you were sleeping.”
I looked up at his face to see if he was teasing me.
He gave me a playful wink. “But I want you to make the first move, Evie. When you’re ready, just let me know. You can either tell me or just tackle me to the ground, rip my clothes off, and slide on. Either one will do.”
There was a knock on the door, before an extremely hungover Angie poked her head into the room.
“Wow, y’all look better than I feel.” Her hair was sticking up on one side, makeup smudged under her eyes. “I guess waterin’ the plants over the railin’ with all that alcohol last night was a good thing.”
“It has to come out somehow.” I laughed. “I’m surprised you remember much of last night.”
She tapped her finger to her temple. “I recall everythin’ when I’m drunk, which is sometimes a curse, especially when I’ve had the beer goggles on. Sometimes I wish I could forget.”
Entering the room, she gingerly lay on the bed beside me.
“Ya smell like vomit,” she told me, screwing up her nose.
I turned to Adam for confirmation; he just shrugged and kept cuddling me. “You smell good enough to eat.”
“No, seriously, I think ya threw up in your hair.” Angie grabbed a stuck-together clump of curl. “Look, that’s gross.”
Adam laughed as he sat up. “Only a true friend would tell you when you stink and look gross. I’m going to go run you a bath, baby.”
“Thanks, baby,” Angie said, cheekily, “but we haven’t known each other long enough for you to come in with me.”
Adam entered the bathroom, laughing and shaking his head.
I shampooed my hair three times just to be certain all the grossness was gone. Then I drained out the dirty water and refilled the tub, soaking in the heady floral oils until the water turned cold.
Adam didn’t come into the bath with me and I have to admit, I was a little disappointed. He did poke his head in the doorway a few times to make sure I hadn’t dozed off and drowned, or at least that was the excuse he gave. Every time he came in, I was so close to inviting him to join me, but I couldn’t find the words. I even tried to imagine he was my fireman, Mac, and I was the reporter, Stacey, hoping that role-play would get me over my apprehension. I imagined Stacey seductively reclining in the bubbles, her long slender legs resting on the edge of the bath as Mac came in. He would saunter over to Stacey, running his hand up her leg and under the water as she subtly gave him enough space between her thighs to reach his end goal.
But this was real life, not a book, and that just wasn’t me. I didn’t have a seductive bone in my body, and I couldn’t pretend I knew what to do when I’d never had anyone look at me with desire in their eyes the way Adam did. Truth be told, I didn’t want to blow it. To turn something that should be romantic or sexy into something corny and make him laugh would be soul destroying. So I played it safe. Every time he came in, I sank down a little bit farther under the bubbles and told him I was fine.
By the time I climbed over the edge of the tub, I was satisfactorily pruned. As I made my way to the living area, a familiar aroma hit me, bringing tears to my eyes.
At first I thought it was Angie cooking, but when I saw her sprawled on the sofa, I realized Adam was playing chef again.
“I hope I’ve done this right,” he said as I entered the kitchen. “I’ve never cooked hog’s jaw, black-eyed peas, and greens before.”
Wrapping my arms around his waist from behind, I squeezed him tight, resting my head against his back.
“I can’t believe you’re cookin’ a traditional New Year’s Day meal from the South. How’d you even know ’bout this?”
“I’ve done my research, Buttercup.” He spun in my arms so we were facing each other. “Isn’t it bad luck if you don’t eat these things today?”
I nodded and smiled at this wonderful, thoughtful man.
He kissed my nose. “So we don’t want any bad luck.”
Surprisingly, I was ravenous. I guess emptying my stomach the night before had given me a wicked appetite. I stuffed my face, having second and third helpings as Adam reclined in his chair, his stunned expression showing how amazed he was at how much I could put away.
Angie picked at her plate. “Ya know, I haven’t lived in the South for nearly six years, so I don’t think the superstition applies to me anymore.” She picked up one pea on her fork and forced it into her mouth. “I mean, isn’t there a statute of limitations or somethin’?”
“Do ya wanna risk it?” I asked, cleaning my plate. “‘Cause I sure don’t.”
The cogs ticked over in her head as she weighed up her options. Resignedly, she took a bite of each component on her plate, then pushed it aside.
“I think I need some fresh air.” Angie stood, giving me that “come with me” look that I knew so well. It was the look she used when we were out and she wanted to talk about a guy. We’d go into the bathroom and whatever had been bottling up would come spilling out.
I shook my head at her. I didn’t want to talk because I knew it would be about Adam.
She enhanced “the look”, her eyes flaring.
I glared back, my lips pursed.
“Wow, you two are having a whole conversation without saying a word.”
Rolling my eyes at Angie for being so obvious, I glanced over at Adam.
He was smiling, watching the performance we were putting on. “She obviously wants to talk to you about something, so why don’t you two get some fresh air while I clean up?”
We shrugged on our coats and walked down to the water’s edge in silence. As soon as we were far enough away from the house that she was confident Adam couldn’t hear, Angie started.
“What happened to bein’ focused on the book and swearin’ off men, Evie? I mean, last night was one thing—you deserved an explanation and maybe a little fun—but as soon as he comes back and gives you that come-hither look, you turn to mush and it’s as if nothing happened.”
We stopped walking and perched on my favorite rock that was sheltered from the chilling wind. “It wasn’t what I thought. He didn’t go to see her in Philly.”
“You said when she was here you saw him getting dressed.”
Gazing out into the distance, I nodded, unable to meet her eyes.
“So why was he undressed? Did you ask him?”
I turned to face her. “No, I didn’t ask, but I believe that nothin’ happened and I believe that she wasn’t the reason he went to Philly. He promised me he didn’t even see her while he was there.”
“What’d he tell ya?”
It was a bit fuzzy, but I could piece most of it together. “She had to give him some documents, which is why she was here. He said he had an appointment, which is why he had to leave.”
I could tell from her face that she wasn’t buying it. “It’s plausible. I mean, if they had property together, maybe they had to tie up loose ends. Charles and I will have documents to sign. It’s possible.”
She shrugged at my explanation and I hoped that would be the end of it.
“So why was he half dressed if she was bringin’ him documents?”
Now it was my turn to shrug. “Maybe she had to sign somethin’ medical and needed to give him a physical examination to say he was healthy?”
She scoffed at that explanation.
“What? She’s a doctor.”
“She’s a cardiologist. Unless she was checkin’ his heart, why’d she be examinin’ him?”
“Cardiologists can practice general medicine, too, so it’s possible.” I was willing to give Adam the benefit of the doubt. He’d said nothing had happened and he wasn’t interested in her, so what choice did I have?
Angie was quiet for a while, her legs swinging from the edge of the rock.
“You really like this guy, don’t ya? I mean, don’t get me wrong, he’s hot as hell, and that accent is to die for.” She turned to face me. “I just don’t want my bestie gettin’ hurt.”
“He’s the most carin’ and thoughtful man I’ve ever met. He swept into my life like a hurricane but instead of turnin’ my life upside down and swirlin’ it ‘round, he’s somehow calmed me down. Everythin’ just seems to make sense.” I tried to find the words to make her understand how differently I was seeing the world now that Adam was in it. “It’s made me realize how beige my life was with Charles, how what we had was really no life at all. I just existed day to day—there was no excitement, no butterflies or laughter.”
Angie smiled, and I knew she was getting it.
“A simple pizza dinner with Adam is an event. We talk, Ang, like really talk, and he wants to know what I think and how I feel about different things. I never had that with Charles. Every conversation with Charles was like listenin’ to a sermon where he held court and preached to me while I sat there like his loyal subject.”
“Y’all weren’t equals. He never saw ya as his equal, did he?”
I shook my head. “He was never interested in my opinion. Adam makes me feel like what I have to say is worthwhile and fascinatin’.”
“Your opinions are worthwhile and fascinatin’.”
“But it ain’t just that. He gets my heart racin’. There are fireworks and there’s passion. He is sooo good-lookin’ and sexy.” I giggled, and Angie joined in.
“Well, if there are fireworks from a kiss, just imagine the blaze there’ll be when y’all have sex.” She rubbed her hands together excitedly.
Laughing at her reaction, I said, “He’s waitin’ for me to give the signal. I just need to find the right time.”
“So you ain’t gonna catch up with Charles?”
Frowning, I shook my head. “No way. Why’d you ask?”
“Because ya called him last night and agreed to meet up soon.” She wiggled her eyebrows at me. “You were considerin’ reconcilin’.”
My smile dropped instantly as a vague recollection of the phone call pushed to the front of my mind. What exactly had I said to Charles? With my head resting in hands, I tried to recall the details of the conversation. I’d told Charles I was in the Hamptons. We had agreed to catch up for lunch and I would eventually have to face him to finalize our pending divorce. I breathed a sigh of relief; there was nothing that I could remember that would lead him to think I wanted him back. Thank goodness I hadn’t invited him to come visit me.
Confident that I was all right again now that Adam and I had worked out our misunderstanding, Angie made the drive home to Manhattan, leaving us to settle back into our routine, with one exception. We now knew how we felt about each other, so there were more hugs, more chaste kisses. In fact, we couldn’t walk past each other without touching, whether it was a playful slap on the ass or a more obvious caress. We touched whenever possible.
Adam had spent most of the day in the bedroom painting, while I had finished drafting the remainder of my novel. It wasn’t ready to show anyone, just a load of bullet points and abstract notes, but at least I now had a clear outline and knew where the story was going to end.
I stretched the kinks from my neck, rolling my shoulders forward and back, then reclined in my chair and removed my glasses. This called for celebration, and this time I was going to be the one cooking for Adam.
Not wanting to disturb Adam’s creative flow, I quietly stuck my head into the bedroom. From this angle, I could see the canvas Adam was working on, and it was breathtaking. He always turned the easel to the corner when he wasn’t painting, self-conscious about his “‘little hobby’,” so this was the first time I’d had the chance to really see his work. But what was even better was watching him, deep in concentration, while he painted.
As usual, he was dressed in his painting jeans and nothing else. The tears and frayed edges of the fabric made them look even sexier as they afforded me little glimpses of his skin. I watched enthralled as each light brush stroke turned the white canvas into a masterpiece bursting with color. I could see the outcrop of rocks, the ocean, and the beginnings of the lighthouse. After nearly ten minutes of my watching the master at work, Adam turned to reach for more paint and saw me.
“It’s not finished yet. There’s still a load to do,” he explained, as if his beautiful creation needed an excuse. “I’m just messing around with it really.” He shrugged at me, then put the brush and palette down. I knew what was coming; he was going to turn it around to face the window.
“I think it’s beautiful.” I walked slowly toward him. “And I think you’re extremely talented.”
He shook his head, no.
“We’re always our own toughest critics. We also seem to think we should be able to do more, be better. We expect ourselves to be faultless and are so hard on ourselves for not bein’ perfect.” I had reached the painting. “This is wonderful. And what makes it so wonderful is not only your talent as an artist, but also the heart you’ve put into it.” My eyes scanned every inch of the canvas, trying to take it all in. “If you don’t have any plans for this piece, I’d love to keep it.”
He laughed, but I could tell by the gleam in his eye that he was delighted.
“In fact, I’d like to buy it from you.”
“You don’t have to do that, Buttercup. I’d happily give it to you, but I don’t know why you would want it.”
“Because every time I look at it it’ll remind me of this winter we’ve shared together, this amazin’ time where our paths crossed, and it will make me smile, and probably make me cry. But mostly it will make me smile to think of how much you’ve helped me grow, and how much you’ve made me laugh, and feel for the first time in what seems like forever. It’ll remind me of you.”
Adam brushed a stray hair from my face before running the backs of his fingers down my cheek tenderly. “I wish I’d met you years ago.”
“You wouldn’t have liked me back then. I was a dork.”
“I’m serious, baby. I wish…I wish we’d had a lifetime together. I feel like I’ve wasted my life with all the wrong people.”
I held his hand to my cheek. “Me too. If I’d met you in college, my life would’ve been so different.”
I probably didn’t truly fathom how different it would have been. To have a first love like Adam instead of Charles would have changed so many aspects of my life. To be with someone who encouraged me to write and valued me for me—I would have been confident and felt nurtured and cherished.
“Can you imagine it?” He smiled, as if he was picturing it in his mind. “I would have followed you around all over campus just to see that beautiful smile of yours.”
My heart skipped in my chest, and my vision blurred. “You wouldn’t have had to follow me, Adam. I would’ve wanted you right by my side. You would’ve been the one makin’ me smile.”
He pulled me in close until my head rested against his bare chest and I wrapped my arms tightly around his waist.
“Well, I’m going to treasure every moment we spend together while we’re here, because every moment with you is precious. I want every second to count.”
I wanted to ask him why he only spoke of our time here. Would there really be nothing once we left the Hamptons? I could write anywhere. I could move to Philadelphia to be with him; all he had to do was ask.
His glassy eyes gazed down at me with so much warmth and affection that I couldn’t raise my concerns. Instead, I rose up onto my tiptoes and kissed him softly on the lips.
“You may not think our time here is so precious after you’ve tasted my cookin’ tonight.”
Instead of laughing, his eyes grew dark as one hand moved to hold the nape of my neck and his lips came down to mine. It felt desperate, wanting, and I willingly surrendered to his touch. As the pressure rose and our kiss became more urgent, I stepped into him, not wanting any space between us. His arm held me firmly, my fingers tangling in the belt loops of his jeans. I could feel how hard he was as he rubbed against my hip, pulling me ever closer for more friction.
“Touch me, please,” he murmured against my lips. “I want you, so much.”
Inching back, I slid my hand slowly down the front of his jeans to feel the bulge straining against the fabric. He groaned into my mouth as I stroked his length, sucking his bottom lip into my mouth.
Pulling me toward him, my foot caught on the drop sheet that had bunched on the floor, and my hand automatically shot out to catch my balance. There was a God almighty crash as the palette and brushes in water went smashing to the floor, spilling over onto the lime-washed wood.
It took a moment for my lust-filled brain to realize what had happened before we were both down on our hands and knees trying to tend to the mess.
“Don’t worry, I’ve got it,” Adam said, noticing the panicked expression on my face. “It should wash off without a trace.” He raced into the laundry, returning a moment later with a bucket of soapy water and scrubbing brush.
I tried to calm my racing heart at the sight of the multicolored floor. It was supposed to be white, not blue and green and brown. But Adam had it under control, so I sat back on my butt, legs crossed, and watched as he carefully scrubbed the boards.
“I’m so sorry, baby. I’ll clean it up, I promise. You won’t even know anything was there.”
“I know ya will. I trust you.” I couldn’t help chuckling as the paint seemed to be spreading instead of lessening.
Adam looked at me in surprise. “What about this do you find so amusing?” he asked as a broad grin graced his handsome face.
“See what happens when I touch your cock?”
“Yeah, all hell breaks loose.” He crawled over to me through the paint. “So technically, this is your fault.”
Before I could get away, he ran a paint-covered finger down the length of my nose. “I don’t know why I should be the only one in a mess.”
“Oh, really?” Reaching over, I scooped up a blob of green paint from the boards and smeared Adam’s bare chest with it.
It was on. Paint was thrown, splattered, and swirled over both of us until there was more on our bodies than on the floor.
“I’d like to paint you,” Adam declared, admiring his handiwork.
“I reckon you just did.”
He chuckled. “I mean your portrait. I usually stick to landscapes, but a seductive portrait is one of the things on my bucket list that’s yet to be crossed off. Would you consider sitting for me?”
Wow, that was out of the blue, and I was so honored that he would want to immortalize me on canvas. “I’d love to.”
He nodded approvingly. “Excellent! And next time I physically paint you, I want it to be with something I can lick off.”
My face flushed, making him grin at my embarrassment. “Can you do me a favor?”
“Anything.” I could tell by his face that he meant it.
“Can you grow your beard back?”
His brow shot up in surprise.
Reaching out, I ran my hand down his smooth cheek and around his strong jaw. “I love this clean-cut Adam, but I’d like to experience everything with you, even a wicked beard rash that’s so bad I can’t walk for a few days, and that can’t happen if ya keep shavin’.”
“Can I take a shower here?” Adam called from the bedroom.
I’d already taken my shower and thrown on a robe, not feeling comfortable enough to dress while Adam was in the bedroom. I knew it shouldn’t have bothered me—he had seen me almost naked and enjoyed touching my body when we’d taken our morning swim—but being so exposed in the bedroom with him was taking it to a whole other level.
I stopped chopping the vegetables and went in to see the result of the cleanup. The floor was spotless, every trace of color removed. The same couldn’t be said for Adam.
I couldn’t help giggling. “Oh my goodness, Sugar, look at you. It looks like someone dumped a rainbow on your head and it ran down your body.”
“Keep laughing, my little Southern belle, and I’ll come over there and give you a big hug.” He held his arms out and took a step forward. I squealed and made a dash for the door.
“Sure, you can shower here but you don’t have any clean clothes.”
He gave me the most seductive smile. It was a smile that promised so much. “I don’t think I’ll need them.”
The rush of water through the pipes made it hard to concentrate on dinner. It wasn’t anything fancy, just a thrown together casserole that was simmering away, but being the kind of person who burns toast, it was still a challenge for me. But I couldn’t keep my mind on the food. Instead, all I could see was Adam’s smile, and all I could think about was that he was naked in my shower right at that very second.
I was just debating whether to go in there on the pretense of providing a clean towel when he came out. Seemed he’d found a towel and it was now wrapped around his hips. His hair was wet and finger-combed so it sat messily and was tucked behind his ears.
The fire blazed, warming the entire room. Adam went and stood on the rug in front of it, giving Max a rough pat with his foot.
“How’s dinner coming along?” he asked, still focusing on the dog.
“It’s a little ways off, but there’s wine if you’d like to pour a glass and relax.”
He came into the kitchen, taking my hands in his so I faced him. “Is there anything that could burn if you don’t get back to it for a while?”
Doing a quick mental calculation of all the components, I shook my head. “I don’t think so.”
“Good.” His lips were on mine before I could take a breath, as one arm snaked around my waist, holding me to his body. My hands slid slowly up his chest and over his shoulders before they found his wet hair, fisting it and holding his head to mine. His hands were on the move, running over my hips, then back up until they grasped my ass and lifted me from the ground so I was the same height as Adam.
“I thought you were waitin’ for me to make the first move?” I asked breathlessly.
“You’re taking too long.”
With a subtle shift, Adam placed me on the edge of the counter with him between my open legs. He pulled me forward until our bodies made contact, the towel tenting and rubbing against me.
“You know why you’re having trouble writing the sex scenes, Evie?”
I shook my head, unable to move my focus from his soft lips.
“Because imagination can only take you so far. You need to experience it before you can write about it.”
I didn’t know if he was right or not, but I wanted to experience everything with Adam. Everything I’d watched in the movies with Angie, everything I’d read about or imagined—I wanted it all, and I wanted it with him.
Sliding down off the counter, I turned off the cooktop, then took hold of Adam’s hand. “So show me. Show me everythin’.”
I let Adam lead me into the bedroom, my heart racing faster with every step. When we entered the room, Adam flicked on the light, dimmed it slightly, then closed the door.
I looked at him questioningly, not sure why the door was closed when there was no one else in the house.
“Just go with it, baby. Trust me.”
I did trust him, probably more than I’d ever trusted anyone besides Angie. He was the most genuine person I’d ever met, who always had the best intentions wrapped around every action.
We turned to face the mirror on the back of the door, with Adam slightly behind me. His towel unraveled from around his hips and dropped to the floor. Instantly, my eyes roamed over his body until they met his gaze. He was watching me drool over him in our reflection with lust in his gorgeous eyes.
His lips brushed my ear. “Look in the mirror, Buttercup.”
Slowly, Adam untied the robe, slipping it from my shoulders. I was completely naked, vulnerable, and my first instinct was to cover myself, but Adam tenderly ran his hands down my arms until his fingers laced with mine. I studied his expression for any trace of disapproval as his eyes wandered over my breasts and down the length of my body. With every inch his gaze dropped, I could feel him getting firmer behind me, until he was pressing hard against my back.
“You are so beautiful, Evie,” he whispered hoarsely. “There is no reason to feel embarrassed by your body. It’s perfect.”
Turning to look over my shoulder, I kissed Adam softly on the jaw and whispered, “Thank you.”
Warm hands ran up my sides until they cupped my breasts. He lightly pinched my nipples until they pebbled under his touch. Then he took my hands and replaced his with mine.
“How do they feel?” he asked, nuzzling in my neck.
I felt awkward as I struggled to express what I was feeling.
“Feel the weight of them. They’re firm, yet soft. I love how they fill my hands.”
He was rhythmically grinding against my hips. His expert hands slid under mine as he kneaded my flesh. I reached around behind me until I found my mark. This time there was no paint to spill as I stroked up and down the length of him, making him sigh, his hot breath fanning my cheek. Butterfly kisses tickled my neck and shoulders and I tilted my head to the side and closed my eyes for a moment.
Then his hand descended down my stomach and abdomen, tracing light circles over my heated skin until it came to rest between my thighs.
I half opened my eyes. Adam was watching me again, his eyes glassy with desire as I stepped one leg apart from the other.
His touch was firm as his fingers slipped back and forth before sliding inside me, making me gasp.
“How does it feel to have my fingers inside you, Evie?”
I couldn’t speak. I was having trouble just catching my breath. Shifting my focus from Adam’s hands, I looked at him. His breathing was shallow, and his eyes were closed as he pulled me into him tighter so he could reach around and bury his fingers deeper.
“I can tell you how it feels for me. You’re so tight, and warm, and deliciously wet.” His kisses on my shoulder and neck became harder. “I’d love to have my cock inside you instead of my fingers.”
I moaned and his eyes opened to lock with mine. “You will,” I whispered.
Before I realized what was happening, Adam turned me to face him and we were kissing. Not the soft, gentle kisses I was used to—this was hard and urgent as he held me hard against his body. He scooped me up into his arms, then carried me over to the bed before placing me down carefully and climbing on beside me.
Then he stopped, frowning. “I don’t suppose you have any protection?” he asked hopefully.
My heart dropped as I shook my head slowly.
His eyes softened. “That’s fine. We can do…other things.”
All I knew was what I was used to—rushed and clumsy groping that led to an unsatisfying end, but Adam took his time. Inching his way down my body, his lips lightly brushing the skin below my ear, his hot breath fanning my neck. It was ridiculous that something so simple could make me whimper, and I bit my lip to stop the little sounds that wanted to creep out of me.
“I like those sounds,” Adam husked, as if he could read my thoughts. “Don’t hold them in.”
His hand traced the contour of my torso, skimming my hip, leaving goose bumps in its wake.
“And I like how the slightest touch”—his fingertips skimmed across my belly and I shivered—“brings your body alive.”
With eyes closed, I felt every kiss, every lick as Adam’s hot mouth explored my breasts, sucking the pert nipples into his mouth and flicking them with his tongue. My back arched as my head dropped back, and he kept going. Down farther and farther, his hands lightly gliding, his mouth tasting my skin, every inch lovingly caressed until he settled between my thighs.
As his tongue took the first swipe, I moaned loudly. “Fuck.” I exhaled as he did it again.
Hot breath tickled my thigh as he kissed lightly. “Do you like that, baby?”
Raising my head, I took in the most erotic sight I’d ever seen—Adam with hooded eyes, nuzzling my most sensitive area.
“Do it again.” And I watched as Adam deliberately and slowly licked. I reached down to run my fingers through his hair. “I want you to do that forever.”
Sadness clouded his gorgeous face and I kicked myself for saying ‘too much, too soon’. “I just meant…I meant keep goin’, that’s all.”
Oh God, I’d just majorly messed up the entire evening with my stupid blabbing. I went to sit up as panic threatened to surface. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to freak you out. I know this isn’t…” I couldn’t finish the sentence, because as much as I knew deep down that this wasn’t forever, with all my heart I wanted it to be.
“Hey, what just happened?” Adam crawled up beside me, cradling me in his arms.
“I mentioned the ‘F-word’ and you got this look on your face, like bein’ with me past tomorrow wasn’t a consideration.”
He let out a ragged breath, his chest trembling. “I can’t make any promises, Evie. I have to go back to England when I leave here, and I don’t know how long I’ll be there.”
Leaning up on my elbow, I gazed down at the stress etched over his face. “I understand. It’s fine, really.”
His fingertips combed through my hair. “No, baby, none of it is fine, but it has to be done. But we’re here now and we still have a few weeks together.”
The pain in his eyes made my breath hitch in my throat. Whatever the reason for Adam’s return to England, it was not a happy one. He looked scared, as if he dreaded what was to come.
I did the only thing I could think to do in this situation. I leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. “Let’s make the most of it, then.”
Instantly, Adam’s face relaxed and he smiled. He rolled me onto him, my body lying flat against his. I dropped my knees to the side and he grabbed my hips, pushing up against me.
“I want to continue what I was doing before,” he murmured in my ear. “I want to fuck you with my tongue.”
Oh sweet baby Jesus. My stomach clenched, my chest heaving.
Adam bit his lip playfully as he searched my face. “I think someone likes a bit of dirty talk,” he teased.
“I reckon someone does.” My cheeks were on fire. “Who knew?”
He rolled me over, and this time he didn’t take his time exploring my body. Kneeling between my legs, he pulled me toward him, then grasped my thighs and pushed them open. With one chaste kiss on the stomach, he was back with his head buried in my crotch and I was writhing uncontrollably, as he sucked and licked until I was seeing stars. Raking my fingers through Adam’s hair, I arched my back as the sensation built until it was almost too much to take, but I was fighting to let myself go over the edge.
Adam’s pressure increased as he sucked my swollen, sensitive nub into his mouth and drove his fingers inside me.
“Let go, baby,” he breathed against me before continuing his onslaught.
Clearing my mind of everything but the sensation of what Adam was doing, I let go, my body trembling as wave after wave of pure ecstasy rushed through me. Eventually, Adam was beside me again, but I was too overcome with so many emotions to move.
“Hey, beautiful.” Adam kissed my hair. “Why the tears?” He wiped his thumb under my eye and I gazed up at him, unable to express how life-changing that moment had just been for me. After all the years with Charles where it had gotten to the point I could no longer be bothered with sex, I would replay that last ten minutes every day for the rest of my life.
I pecked his swollen lips, then scrunched up my face playfully at the taste.
He licked his lips and grinned. “I love how you taste, but you don’t have to kiss me.”
Stretching up, his lips brushed my forehead. I took his face in my hands and brought his mouth to my own. He resisted at first, but as my tongue delved into his mouth, he held my head, his tongue dancing with mine.
As the kiss deepened, my hand ran down his abdomen, settling on his length. He groaned into my mouth as my grip tightened around him. I wanted to do more. I wanted to return what Adam had just done to me, so I shimmied down the bed until I was level with his hips.
His eyes were dark pools as he watched me lick my lips. “You don’t have to, baby, but fuck I hope you do,” he said, huskily.
All my experience was from talking to Angie and watching porn, but I had a good enough idea of what I needed to do. As soon as I took Adam into my mouth, he groaned, and I relaxed. His hand came to rest gently on my head as my lips wrapped around his length and slipped up and down, my hand pumping in time.
It didn’t take long for his hips to lift in unison with my motion, his breathing to come out in short spurts as my tongue swirled around the soft, velvety head before I took as much of him into my mouth as I could.
“Oh, fuck,” he moaned, “that feels so good.”
Every word of encouragement, every groan and fisting of my hair made me increase my efforts, until I had quite a rhythm going. His hot salty taste was a surprise, but not an unpleasant one, as his abdominal muscles clenched over and over, and a final sharp expulsion of breath left him.
I couldn’t help the satisfied smirk on my face as I kissed his stomach and chest, before nuzzling into his neck. We lay together in a comfortable silence for a few minutes until Adam’s breathing was so calm I thought he’d gone to sleep. I was just beginning to drift off when he spoke.
“You’re amazing,” he whispered, kissing my hair.
Smiling, I held him tight. “I reckon you’re pretty amazin’ too.”
He rolled onto his side, head propped in his hand. “How would you feel if I moved a few things over here?”
“You mean other than your easel and paints and paintin’ clothes and—”
He chuckled. “Yeah, okay, so I’ve already got some things here. I mean, a change of clothes and toothbrush, stuff like that?”
Wow, how did I feel about that? We’d virtually be living together after only knowing each other a few weeks. But then he already spent every day here, either painting or cooking for me, while I spent my time writing and ogling him when he wasn’t looking. So really, he already nearly lived here anyway.
“So ya want a drawer?” I teased. “‘Cause, you know what they say ’bout givin’ someone a drawer—soon they’ll be movin’ in and rearrangin’ the furniture.”
He chuckled. “I promise not to rearrange the rented furniture in this rented house.”
I kissed his nose. “That sounds fair, on one condition?”
His brow rose in anticipation.
“You have to do all the cookin’.”
His playful smile turned into a pout. “I was hoping for something more along the lines of I have to become your sex slave, not your personal chef.”
“If you’re my chef, then I’ll be your sex slave.”
My encounter with Adam the previous night inspired me to write a new sex scene, one that encompassed the oral splendor I had experienced. Writing it was easy. As I closed my eyes and pictured what had happened, the words came flooding out. Every emotion, every physical feeling and technical aspect was there, bam, on the page within minutes.
Man, I had to do more hands-on research and soon.
Adam and Max came barreling in from their run on the beach, filling the house with life once more. We had changed the order of morning events since I’d started joining them for a swim. We had decided that the swim should come first; then I would scurry indoors with teeth chattering, and jump in the shower while Adam dressed and went for a quick run with Max. I knew it wasn’t ideal for them, but Adam wanted me to join him in the water, and it was a compromise he was willing to make, seeing as I wasn’t much of a runner at any time of day.
Max at least was dry by the time he came inside and flopped on the rug by the fire. Adam, though, was always freezing, his lips blue, and I was worried he would get sick from being outside when he was cold and wet.
After a quick peck on the forehead with his frozen lips, he raced into the shower to thaw out.
Life was good. In fact, life was better than good—it was perfect. It was like my own little slice of heaven was right here in the Hamptons, and I never wanted it to end. This was the house of my dreams that I was now sharing with the man of my dreams, complete with our own big old lazy dog. Life couldn’t get any better.
I put some coffee on for Adam, then went to the fire to give Max a pat. We were just getting cozy with Max’s head on my lap when there was a knock on the front door. Max leapt up, barking viciously.
“Hey, come here, boy. Let’s see who it is.”
I opened the door with a smile on my face, ready to greet whoever was there, but my smile soon dropped, my stomach clenching into a knot. My immediate instinct was to slam the door closed, but I knew I couldn’t run from this encounter.
“Charles, what’re you doin’ here?”
Charles’s smile faltered as Max growled deep in this throat. I gave him a pat and told him to settle, but he was having none of it. His hackles were up and he was standing guard.
There was a shrill whistle from behind me as Adam came jogging out, towel slung low around his hips. Max immediately went to Adam’s side, but he was still growling to show his disapproval.
I didn’t blame him. If I could have growled at Charles, I would have, too. What was he doing here, poking holes in my bliss bubble?
Holding the door wide open, I reluctantly ushered Charles into the living room, where Adam was still standing, dripping wet and looking gorgeous.
My hands went to my face momentarily while I gathered my thoughts.
“Charles, this is my neighbor Adam—”
“Your neighbor?” Adam queried with raised brow.
“Well, that’s how you introduced me to Annabel.”
Adam’s eyes narrowed as the corner of his lip twitched.
“Adam, this is my estranged husband, Charles,” I continued, ignoring the fact that Adam had stripped me naked with his eyes.
I waited for them to shake hands or acknowledge each other in some way, but they didn’t. Instead they stared each other down, metaphorically beating their chests.
“Adam, perhaps you’d like to put some clothes on?” I suggested, reminding him that he was only in a towel. I expected him to say something witty, but he didn’t. His face was like thunder as he sized Charles up.
He was territorial, and I had to admit that it made me feel good to think he cared enough to want to lay claim to this little piece of paradise. Finally, he turned and entered the bedroom and I relaxed as much as I could now that some of the testosterone had left the room.
Charles took hold of my arms, squeezing a little too tightly. “Evelyn, what’re ya doing with that guy?”
I tried to shrug him off, but his grip was too tight. “Charles, you’re hurtin’ me,” I complained.
A sharp bark from Max as he came trotting over to us warned Charles that he had better be on his best behavior. He let go, holding his hands up to show Max that he wasn’t a threat.
I showed him to the sofa, but I really didn’t want him to stay.
“What’re you doin’ here, Charles? You can’t just turn up without an invitation.”
“But ya did invite me, Evelyn.”
Not likely.
“You told me where ya were and said I’d love it here, that I should see it.”
A vague recollection of the drunken phone call on New Year’s Eve came to mind. “I said you would love it here, but I didn’t invite you to actually come.”
Or did I?
I knew I was shattered that Adam had gone to Philly and was seriously considering trying to work things out with Charles. Maybe the way I’d worded it had given him the wrong impression.
“When did this phone call happen?” Adam was back beside the sofa, arms crossed, staring down at me.
“While you were in Philadelphia. I only called to wish him a merry Christmas and happy new year.”
Adam nodded, fully understanding that I had been an emotional wreck, thinking he was hooking up with his ex.
“We arranged to catch up, too,” Charles added, knowing he was causing trouble, the satisfied smug look on his face telling me he was enjoying every minute of it.
I glared at Charles, his all-too-perfect smile gleaming back at me. “Yes, we did. We need to discuss the divorce settlement.”
Charles’s smile faded, and I felt a terrible pang of guilt to be so blunt about the demise of our marriage, but he must have known it was over. I’d been gone for four months.
“After ya called, I was hopin’ for a reconciliation.” He looked so forlorn, and I would have crumbled if I didn’t know what a wonderful actor he was and how manipulative he could be. “What’ll I tell people?”
“What do you mean?”
“I’ve told everyone you’re on a spiritual sabbatical and will be back soon.”
Adam’s scoff pulled my attention from Charles’s pitiful face.
“Adam, would you mind pourin’ some coffee, please?” I needed him to not be standing there right then.
Instead of going to the kitchen, he perched on the arm of the sofa. “No, I’m good right here, baby.” His hand reached out to stroke my hair, and for a split second I was torn between doing what I wanted to do, which was cuddle closer to him, and guarding Charles’s feelings. I had struggled for so many years to be the wife Charles had expected and in the process, I’d lost sight of the person I wanted to be. I’d pushed my own hopes and dreams to one side in my endeavor to make someone else happy, but being away from the situation had given me clarity and a new direction.
Sighing, I made my decision. I leaned closer to Adam, closer to my future, and away from my past. Instantly Adam relaxed and slid off the arm of the sofa so he was squished beside me.
“I guess it has been a spiritual sabbatical of sorts,” he said, tongue in cheek. “So you haven’t really been lying to everyone, Chuck.”
I could feel the tension radiating from Charles. He hated being called Chuck with a passion.
There was nothing left to say. I had ended my marriage when I’d walked out the door four months ago, but meeting Adam had confirmed one hundred times over that it had been the right thing to do.
Charles looked as if he was about to crack, and I didn’t want that to happen. I knew he could become somewhat physically threatening toward me if he didn’t get his way, and if that were to happen, I had no doubt in my mind that Adam would beat the crap out of him without working up a sweat.
Standing, I moved to the door. “I’m sorry you came all this way for no reason, Charles. Please have a safe journey back home.”
He looked at me, his eyes bugged open. “So that’s it? You’re throwin’ me out?”
“If she doesn’t, I will.” Adam had also risen to his feet, his bulk menacing as he towered over the still-seated Charles.
Holding my hand to Adam’s chest to tell him to stay put, I waited while Charles walked slowly to the door.
“You’re makin’ a huge mistake, Evelyn. You ain’t cut out for goin’ it alone. You need the sanctity of our community to protect ya.”
I shook my head. “I’m stronger than you think, Charles. I can make it on my own.”
“You’ll regret this, Evelyn, but I am a forgivin’ man. This”—he nodded in Adam’s direction—“indiscretion will be over soon, and you’ll realize where your place is in this world.”
“This may be over soon, but it’s already taught me so much. You said everythin’ I could want I could get with you. You were wrong, Charles. There’s so much more.”
He grasped my shoulders, and Adam took a protective step closer. I shook my head at him to stop.
“But I love ya, Evelyn. You’re my wife. You made a commitment to me for life. Are ya gonna break that vow?”
I knew how sacred our marriage vows were to Charles and that had always been the sticking point for me. The reason I had backed down so many times in the past when all I had really wanted to do was walk out the door and never look back.
“I know you think you love me, Charles. But I believe what you love is the idea of marriage. The idea of havin’ someone by your side—”
“Yes, yes.” He nodded animatedly, releasing his grip.
“—someone by your side to take all your bad moods, and take care of you when you’re unwell. Someone to launder your clothes, present a united front to the congregation, and speak when spoken to.”
His face dropped, his mouth agape. I could see the vein in his neck pulse as he pinched the bridge of his nose, before looking up to the heavens.
I knew the mannerisms; I’d seen them all too many times in the past. I shrugged. “That ain’t me, Charles. The role of your housekeeper, mother, and scapegoat all rolled into one has never sat well with me.”
Charles’s jaw clenched, and his eyes narrowed. “You are my wife until death, Evelyn. There’s nothin’ more to discuss.”
Panic punched me in the gut as fear that I may never get out of this marriage struck me. I needed to think quick if I was going to convince Charles that being with me wasn’t the best option.
“Does my happiness mean nothin’ to ya, Charles? You say you love me, but you want me to be miserable for the rest of my life just to save face.” I shook my head. My happiness wasn’t a concern for him, but maybe his was. “I want you to be happy too. I want you to have the family you want, with a brood of kids runnin’ ‘round drivin’ ya crazy. You ain’t gonna get that with me…but you deserve it.”
His brow furrowed, but he nodded, which spurred me on. “You’re a wonderful man, Charles, just not the right one for me. I know you’ll find someone who will give you everythin’ ya desire.” I could see by the way his shoulders had straightened, by the way he held his head a little higher, that he was buying every stroke of his ego. “I may be makin’ a terrible mistake…”
His eyes widened.
“But I don’t believe I can make you happy anymore.”
He flashed his gleaming teeth, nearly blinding me, and I knew he had bought it.
Chancing a glance over Charles’s shoulder at Adam, I could just make out the smirk he was hiding behind his hand as he chuckled silently to himself.
We said our goodbyes and Charles left with a renewed spring in his step, which I have to admit made me happy. For all our troubles throughout our marriage, I never wanted to hurt Charles. I just wasn’t in love with him anymore.
As soon as the door closed, Adam scooped me up into his arms and I knew that this was where I was meant to be.
He nuzzled my neck, still chuckling to himself. “And the Academy Award for best actress goes to…”