The glow in the sky indicated the sun was on its way.
We’d been in the car for what felt like hours when really it had been far less. Neeta drove, her mouth a straight line as she concentrated on the uneven road. She hadn’t spoken a word since we started out on our strange journey at a time when most people were still in bed. As Billie, no doubt, wished we were.
She slept, her head cradled by a bunched-up jean jacket wedged between her temple and the window of the passenger seat in which she slumped.
I wished sleep would find me. As it was, nervous energy tingled through my limbs in one unrelenting spasm after the next. I fidgeted from one backside cheek to the other, playing with the back door lock, the windows, anything that could hold my attention for a handful of seconds.
I directed Neeta down the dirt road. The stone building, in the same sad state as it was when I’d first seen it, materialized in front of us. It somehow looked smaller, more fragile than it had when I’d been there before. The field around us glowed with the dawn. Gnats clustered around the tall grasses, more visible now than at any other time of day.
Billie yawned as she stepped out of the door, immediately smacking the back of her neck. She grumbled, “Missed. How many more do you think are out here?”
“Millions,” Neeta said, her eyes on the building. I wondered if Neeta had ever been tired in her life. She certainly didn’t appear it now.
“Great,” Billie said with a groan. “If there’s a mosquito within a hundred miles of my flesh, they can sniff me out. It’s like I emit some sort of beacon that says suck my blood.”
“It’s because you’re so sweet. Now stop complaining, we have work to do.” Neeta marched up to the box, jumping straight over the two crumbling steps. With her fit, lithe body, she could have been an athlete. I imagined her throwing javelins and jumping over poles that hovered twenty feet over the ground.
I followed, Billie right behind me.
“Wait a minute,” Billie said as she stepped over the threshold. “Where’s the bathroom?”
We had been there less than five minutes, and I could already feel my skin prickling. “The bathroom is anywhere you want it to be.”
“What Miranda said. Where you decide to pee is the least of our problems.” Neeta turned in a slow circle. “How should we begin? Miranda?”
I shrugged. Why did they keep looking to me like some kind of expert?
Billie swatted another blood sucker. “Didn’t you say control was the most important first step? Seems so to me. I can’t lose my shit with every John. Let’s start there.”
“We can’t lose our shit with anyone,” I said, kicking loose stones out of the way.
“These damn bugs,” Billie huffed, swatting the air for the tenth time. Her voice held less of a whine and more of an edge. She waved her hand through the air with more force, a wave of blue energy bolting from her palm. Half a dozen mosquitos flamed before going up in smoke.
Everyone froze.
Billie’s eyes went wide for a fraction of a second. Then she burst into tears.
This brought Neeta out of her daze. “Why are you crying?”
“I’m a murderer,” Billie said with a sob.
I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. “Are you kidding? You’ve been killing mosquitos since we arrived.”
“Yeah, but not with magic. That makes it worse somehow. Like, how does anything living stand a chance against that?”
“You might not always feel that way,” I said. “Think about the women who have disappeared. If only they’d use their magic to get free. Then the world could really fear us.”
“Maybe they can’t.” Neeta crossed her arms.
“What do you mean?” Billie asked, wiping snot with the back of her hand.
“Wouldn’t you try to get out if the government grabbed you? Maybe they’re being held somewhere that suppresses the magic.”
I shook my head. “This isn’t X-Men. I think it more likely that the women are dead, maybe drugged, if they’re lucky.”
Billie whimpered.
“Drugged makes sense,” Neeta said. “Easier to control and study. They need to learn all they can about the magic users.” Neeta’s sad eyes found Billie, then me. “Let’s start smashing rocks. I need to know you two will be able to defend yourselves.”
****
An hour later we weren’t doing too bad. Billie seemed a quicker study than I was. It helped to talk it out with her, discuss how we felt when we did certain things, and how to unfeel, to bring it back to zero. We’d managed to pulverize several large stones in a controlled manner then rein the power back in after only a few tries. The stone building still stood, none the worse for wear.
“I’m exhausted.” I slumped against the far wall, skin coated in dirt and sweat.
“So tired.” Billie drank the last of her water.
“I think the two of you have made incredible progress. I’m impressed with you both, and I feel better about the two of you being out in the world.” Neeta crumbled an empty chips bag, the sheen of grease on her bottom lip. “Let’s head back and get some rest before the shit show that is my family dinner.”
Billie’s giggle was cut off by the sound of a car door slamming. Tires screeched right after, spitting loose dirt, some of it hitting metal which I was pretty sure was Neeta’s car. Three hearts stopped beating.
“What the hell was that?” Neeta ran to the door.
“It’s pretty obvious what that was,” I said as I made a b-line for the gaping hole in the back wall that once held a window. “The question is what did they see?”
“I don’t see anyone out front. Miranda?” Neeta asked behind me.
My gaze scanned the grass. There was nothing I could see save for an overgrown field, ancient trees towering overhead. “No.” I spun around.
“Come on.” Neeta left the safety of the building. “Whoever it was got the hell out of here fast.”
“Neeta,” Billie whispered. “Don’t go out there.”
“Whoever it was is gone. We should be, too.” I grabbed Billie’s elbow as I strode by, pulling her with me out the door.
We made it to the car in three large strides.
Neeta stood behind the car, looking off down the road.
“There’s a set of tire tracks that wasn’t here before, and it’s not ours. The tires are thicker than mine.” She turned her gaze on me, her eyes wide with fright. “Time to go.”
We piled into our usual spots.
“What if they’re waiting for us on the main road?” Billie’s trembling voice sounded disembodied … or maybe that was how I felt. Listening to them, but not, as my spirit left my body.
“Then we push our way through. We don’t stop for anything. Agreed?” Neeta shot Billie a look, then me.
“Agreed,” Billie whispered.
I could only nod. The one way I was going to get through this was to pretend like it wasn’t really happening, like it was all a play or a movie that I was watching, not something I was actively experiencing.
We seemed to reach the main road much quicker than was normal. I could have done with a few more minutes to try and center myself. My stomach twisted as I sat as far forward as I could, staring out the windshield between Billie and Neeta’s shoulders. There was no one. The main road was as deserted as the one we had left. There was nothing but fields and trees on either side of us, nothing but bare road in front and behind.
Neeta turned toward New Orleans. “Whoever it was seems to be gone. Maybe they didn’t see us.”
Billie was crying again, but softly, her head angled away so we couldn’t see. I didn’t say what I was thinking. That of course we were seen. We were seen by someone who understood exactly what we were up to. If that person had any sort of brain, they would have taken note of Neeta’s license plate. Then they would turn us in.
This was a topic we couldn’t avoid. I cleared my throat. “Neeta, your license plate.”
Billie gasped, her arms reflexively hugging her body.
“It’s okay. I inherited this car from my uncle who died last year. The license plates and registration are still in his name. Who has time for the DMV?” She was the only one to laugh. “Anyway, we’re safe. I mean, obviously I must ditch the car, which sucks. But being executed by your government seems a hell of a lot worse. Right?” She attempted to laugh, again, the chuckle turning into more of a groan.
****
We left the car at the airport, long term parking, then took the bus back to mid-city, all of us crowding onto one seat because we couldn’t stand the thought of being separated even by a couple of feet. None of us were in the mood for a family dinner. Our empty stomachs—and for me a general fear of being alone—led us to carry on with our evening plans.
Billie’s fragility led Neeta and I toward a pact while she was still in the shower—try to act as normal as possible, and for the love of everything, don’t talk about the M word.
Billie, forever in the passenger seat, sat tapping her feet against the floorboards, her body as rigid as a surfboard as Neeta drove her car, eyeing me in the rearview mirror.
Neeta seemed to be telling me something through her gaze, but I could only guess what it was. An educated guess was that she was trying to goad me into some sort of regular conversation. What did one talk about when the world was collapsing around you?
Billie stuck a fingernail in her mouth. “Who do you think it was? Someone saw us.” She turned in her seat. “Miranda, what do you think?”
I shook my head. I didn’t want to think in general, and I certainly didn’t want to think about a rogue witness to our magic. “If we were seen” —which I believed we were— “it was probably someone who lives out there. Now that we’ve ditched the car and it can’t be traced without some work to Neeta, I think we’re okay. Maybe it was a woman, someone who won’t even bother, someone who will leave it alone.”
“I don’t know.” Billie continued bouncing her legs.
Neeta rolled her eyes. “It’s pointless to speculate. The only thing this back and forth will lead to is more anxiety.” Neeta put her hand on Billie’s thigh to steady it. “Which we don’t need. So, changing the subject.” She removed her hand. “Have you guys heard about the big beef recall? What is with all these recalls? I’m never eating cows again. Meaning my mom is probably making a meatloaf.”
A strange topic of conversation. Neeta was clearly grasping at straws.
Billie had a new tropical air freshener hanging from the rearview so strong it threatened to produce a migraine. The scent of pineapple and coconut clung to my sinuses.
“And you’ll have no choice but to eat it. You’re trying to build bridges, not tear them down.” Billie took a full, ragged breath after she spoke, then pulled some blush from her purse. We were all freshly showered. Billie still looked tired. I was sure we all did, but Billie with her pallid complexion looked more death-like than me, my usually pale skin darkened by the New Orleans sun, and Neeta with her rich and brown skin. “Speaking of eating, is your pussy going to be edible again soon?”
“Did you really have to say that?” I groaned. Distraction, even by talking about gross things, was welcome in whatever form it came in.
Neeta choke-laughed through closed lips as she shook her head from side to side. “Everything is right as rain. Plenty edible in a couple days, so no worries.”
“Aside from the craziness, aren’t you guys nervous about dinner at all?” I probably shouldn’t have brought it up, especially if Neeta was as cool as she appeared. What I needed was some validation that yes, this night might get a little weird, but in the end, it would be fine. Just like Neeta’s crotch.
Neeta’s neck twitched. “Let me assure you that my stomach is rumbling, not from hunger, but from anxiety. I also put on about five layers of deodorant to keep the smell from my stress sweating at bay. So, to answer your question, Miranda, yes, this bitch is nervous as hell. But I refuse to let them see me sweat, yes, I do. If there’s one thing the last few days have taught me, it’s that there are bigger worries than my family.”
“We’ve got your back, babe, just like you’ve had ours. Don’t we, Miranda?” Billie reached out a hand and squeezed Neeta’s shoulder.
“I appreciate it, but do not get makeup on my white shirt.” Neeta shrugged off Billie’s hand but blew her a kiss.
The house we pulled up to was charming. The white, single-story home had a broad covered front porch held in place by four thick columns, two black wooden rocking chairs sitting side by side under the eave. The grass was neatly trimmed and the walkway, lined with gardenia bushes, looked freshly swept. Perfection on the outside, but if Neeta’s situation was any indication—all was not as it seemed within.
At the door, she looked back at us. “Here goes nothing.” She knocked.
I’m not sure if it was my imagination or the breeze, but I swear one of the chairs began rocking the second Neeta’s hand touched that door. Either this house was haunted, or my nerves had gotten the better of me, or we were influencing the surrounding environment. I swallowed the lump forming in my throat.
The door swung open. A beautiful woman in her forties stood in the doorway, light from above shining down on her as if she were onstage. Her dark hair was shiny and neatly waved down to her shoulders. She wore jeans and a red sweater that emphasized a still youthful body. In fact, she looked way too young to have given birth to Neeta. The brightest thing about her was her smile. “Neeta.” She almost whispered the name. “My baby,” she said, louder.
“Hey, mom,” Neeta said as she pulled open the screen door. There seemed to be a little hesitation on the threshold, but Neeta’s mom reached out and pulled her close. They wrapped their arms around each other and stood there for a couple of beats before Neeta pulled away. “These are my friends, Billie and Miranda.” Neeta didn’t look back at us. Her voice was quiet, almost like she was trying to hide her emotion. She moved past her mom so we could walk in.
“Wonderful to meet you both. I’m Crystal.” Crystal held out a hand to Billie and me in turn, her smile warm. “Dinner is already on. Just set the table.”
Crystal led the way farther back into the house. The dining room was well-lit by an overhead chandelier and long, tapered candles burning on the table. Savory food smells caused my stomach to jerk. It had only been about a week since I had a home-cooked meal, but it felt like years, and the table was full. There was a platter of already sliced chicken, gravy, mashed potatoes, green beans, and a basket filled almost to overflowing with fluffy yellow cornbread. My mouth watered.
At the far end of the table, farthest from the door where we all entered, sat a bald man, his elbows propped on the table in what looked like prayer but wasn’t. He was waiting for us and didn’t look as if he had been waiting too patiently.
The table sat six and was set for five. Neeta took the seat to the left of where her mother would sit at the opposite end to her dad. Billie and I filed in on the other side. I got the spot next to Neeta’s disgruntled-looking dad. I smiled at him as I pulled out the chair and sat down.
He didn’t take his eyes off his daughter.
It was already awkward, and we had only just sat down. I wondered how much food I could shove in my face before he threw us out.
“John, this is Billie and Miranda. And you remember your daughter, Neeta?” Crystal sat down, the derision in her voice evident.
It was plain to see where the animosity came from, and it wasn’t from Crystal. At least it wasn’t now. My gaze slid toward John. There was something off-putting about him. He seemed to ooze disdain from the corners of his narrowed eyes and downturned mouth.
After a moment of silence, John said. “Good to see you, kid.” Then he picked his napkin off the table and snapped it in the air.
“Dig in, everyone, we don’t stand on ceremony here.” Crystal picked up the bowl of mashed potatoes and handed it to Billie.
Neeta grabbed a piece of cornbread while I went for the green beans.
John picked up the serving fork, skewered a piece of steaming chicken and put it on my plate, then did the same for everyone else at the table. He looked at Neeta as he sat back down. “Did you know your sister graduated from LSU with honors? Marrying a lawyer in the fall.”
“Yes, dad. Claire actually talks to me. She never stopped.”
There was little I could stand less than a fight, so I jumped in. “Thank you for this wonderful meal. It’s heavenly,” I said between mouthfuls of potato. It was rude to talk with your mouth full, but I didn’t care. The only thing I wanted to do was break the tension by pulling the focus from Neeta onto me.
“You’re welcome, Miranda.” Crystal spoke quickly as if she herself wanted to seize on something other than what was happening between her husband and daughter. “I love to cook, but there isn’t much need to cook a big meal these days with the kids gone.” Crystal took a drink of water. She spoke to me but eyed her husband who sat with his head down, eating his food. She set the glass back on the table. “Are you still with Ruby, Neeta?”
“Mm-hm.” Neeta ate in the same manner as her dad, head down, quiet as a mouse.
Movement from John caught my eye. He was shaking his head back and forth. “Slinging drinks in a gay bar isn’t a job.”
There was a pause as everyone in the room went silent and still.
“You’re wrong, actually. I make more in tips than most people who work full-time in an office make as their salary.” Neeta looked up from her plate, her face glowing in the flickering light of the candles on the table. “I’m also working on creating my own line of gowns for the queens. It’s appalling how little you know about me.”
John had stopped eating, but his head was still down. He didn’t seem able to look Neeta in the eye. The tension in the room was thick. I sat down my fork, noticing Billie had yet to touch her food.
“John, you promised we were going to get past this.” Crystal wadded up her napkin and set it alongside her plate.
There was nothing but silence from John. I felt as if Billie and I shouldn’t be there. We should have been anywhere but in that room. Billie craned her neck to look at me with wide eyes. For a minute, I thought she was thinking the same thing I was, that we should leave, until she stood up and walked around to stand behind Neeta. She put her hands on Neeta’s shoulders and leaned down. “What do you want to do?”
Neeta reached up and took hold of one of Billie’s hands. Her lips were pursed, and tears stood on her lower lashes. Billie, in that moment, was just about the bravest person I ever met.
Crystal picked up her plate. “I know what I would like to do if you three would join me. I’d like to take my food and go eat in the kitchen. Because you are always welcome in my home.” Crystal looked at her daughter who smiled at her mother.
John kept eating like some kind of psycho, seemingly oblivious to the pain of his family. I sat rigid in my chair, my head trained straight ahead but my glance sideways. In so many ways John reminded me of my own father. There was a silent strength, almost regal, at odds with a stubborn, fixed attitude. Even if he wanted to change and accept his daughter, which I had to believe he did, deep down in his heart, he wouldn’t let himself. Pride in what he believed was right and some phantom shame of who his daughter was were too much for John to overcome. I wasn’t sure who I felt sorrier for, John or Neeta. Was it worse to lose a parent or lose a child? Normally I would say the latter. In this situation, I believed it was the former.
The similarities between John and my dad were too great to ignore. It was hard to see my dad behaving any differently, not about who I chose to date, but what I was becoming. I wasn’t sure about my mom, but I didn’t think she would be happy or overly accepting if I showed up to dinner with my hands glowing. This whole evening emphasized what I already knew—figuring this out far from them was the best decision I ever made.
Billie walked back around the table and scooped up her plate and water glass. “Lead the way, Crystal.”
Neeta stood, very calmly, and pushed in her chair before picking up her plate. She turned without so much as a glance at her dad and left the room. Crystal, Billie, and I all followed.
“Well, this isn’t what I had in mind.” Crystal adjusted her barstool, her gaze cast down at her plate. Crystal’s kitchen was as warm as she was. The cherry cabinets, the butcher block countertops, and heavenly smells all felt like a soft, enveloping hug.
“We could leave, Mom. It’s okay, really.” Neeta was amazing. Billie may have been the bravest person I knew, but she was most definitely the strongest. I would have been a wreck.
“It’s not okay. Nothing has been okay for the last two years.” Crystal’s voice cracked. She wiped a tear away with the back of her hand. “I was so wrong, and I want you to know that I accept I acted poorly. I’m so sorry, Neeta, so sorry for not standing up to your dad when I should have. I hope it isn’t too late for you and I.” Crystal reached across the breakfast bar and laid her hand on top of Neeta’s.
That was when she broke. That was when we all broke.
Neeta rose from her seat to walk around and hug Crystal. They clutched each other tightly, tears streaking down both their faces. Billie openly sobbed into her napkin as I too, let out a flood of tears. We had been through so much the last few days, were so exhausted, but this moment was an oasis.
“You’ve been so strong,” Crystal said into Neeta’s shoulder. “And now, I’m going to be strong. How about moving in with your old mom?”
“What?” Neeta gasped the word as she pulled away to look Crystal in the face. “I can’t live here.”
Crystal had everyone’s attention. “Neither can I. I don’t want to live with that man anymore. I tried and tried and can’t try any longer. I don’t want to try. You are my baby, Neeta. You shouldn’t be living in a motel, and I shouldn’t be living here. I’ve had my eye on a townhome for rent about three blocks away. It’s a good size, plenty of room for us both, and you can be who you are. No more hiding. Maybe I can finally be who I am.”
Neeta looked at Billie.
“You better do it, Neeta,” she said, sniffing back a running nose.
“What will you do there, all by yourself? No way I can leave you, not right now.” Neeta’s brow furrowed in the center.
“I’ll be fine. Like I always am. I’ve taken care of myself since I was seventeen. Besides, I won’t be alone. I’ve got this one for a neighbor now.” Billie jammed a thumb in my direction. “You do this. Be with your mom, get out of the Fleur-de-lis. I won’t be too far behind. And we’ll still see each other all the time.”
I was sure Billie wasn’t feeling as fine as she said. She and Neeta had been neighbors at the Fleur for two years. They were tight. And I hoped I wouldn’t be there for much longer.
“It’s settled then,” Crystal said, wiping her face on her napkin. “I’ll call the lady in the morning and get things rolling. The house looks empty, but it will probably be a week or two before we can get into the place.”
“Will you be okay here until then, with him?” I asked, finally finding my voice.
Crystal waved her hand. “Oh, his bark is far worse than his bite. We’re already sleeping in separate rooms, so it won’t be a shock to him. I have a feeling he’s already moved on anyway, if you know what I mean, so I couldn’t care less.”
By the time we left we were all emotionally spent. We didn’t see John again. He wasn’t in the dining room when we passed by, and the living room was equally as dark. Neeta and Crystal chatted excitedly about what she would bring to decorate their new place. This would be a new start for them both.
Before we left, Crystal rummaged in her purse sitting on a table by the door, then slipped a large wad in Neeta’s hand. Clearly, her parents had some money. “A little something for the next couple of weeks.”
They embraced again and we were off.
“Holy shit,” Billie said once we were back in the car. “That was intense. Let’s do a check in. There’s a lot going on. Miranda?”
“A check in? I feel like I’m in my school counselor’s office.” I laughed. “I’m fine. Happy for Neeta that she has her mom back and that she’s moving into a nicer place, but sad and angry about her dad.”
Billie’s head bobbed in front of me. “Same. Definitely happy for Neeta and Crystal, but forever pissed at John, who is now going to be alone and missing out. His loss. Neeta, how are you holding up?”
“Maybe you should be a therapist rather than a nurse.” Neeta snapped her seatbelt in and started the car. “I feel like I’m kind of in shock, I guess. I’m excited, and happy to be with my mom again. It’s all so surreal.”
“Super surreal, but awesome. Good for Crystal for finally getting her shit together.” Billie leaned her head against the headrest and stretched her arms above her head. “Now back to change for the club. I don’t want to work tonight, anyway, what with all the emotion and the scary magic and the hiding from my not-so-super client, so may as well catch the show and have a drink. Maybe after we can go see Joey?”
Billie seemed improved, her anxiety from earlier long gone.
“Sounds like a plan. We’d all love to get you laid … some more.” Neeta started the car.
“And she’s back!” Billie squealed.