Dani leaned over him, taking his shoulders and shaking him, trying to wake him. She had knocked on the door, and heard him inside. She let herself in with her old key when she identified the sound sneaking beneath the door as quiet weeping. She doubted he even knew that tears were streaming down his face. Sleep was the only state that he couldn’t control. He couldn’t keep up his walls and barriers. She doubted he’d thank her for coming in and finding him like this, but she couldn’t leave now. She leaned closer and gripped his flushed cheeks in her cool hands again.
“Nick! Wake up! Come back to me.” She gave his head a gentle shake.
His large hands came up to grip her wrists, holding her bent over, facing him, her face inches from his. When he finally opened his eyes, the sorrow and anger she saw lingering in the unfocused brown depths made her heart clench in response.
“Nick. It’s me, Dani. I’m here. It’s OK. I’m here.” She wiped the tears from his cheeks with her thumbs and wished she could carry a part of his burden for him, just to lighten the load for a while. He didn’t deserve to be hurting like this after all he’d done for his country.
“Dani…” He exhaled a deep sigh and pulled her down into a desperate hug. She was straddling his lap, while he sat on the couch. Wordlessly, he laid his head on her chest, and she slid her fingers back around his head to his nape, holding him in her embrace. She ran her fingers through his hair, marveling at how it had grown out in the short time she’d known him. He leaned into her caress, closing his eyes. This she could give. Simple physical comfort to a friend in pain.
“It’s OK, Nick. I’ve got you. It was just a bad dream. It’s over now. Shhh.” She kept up the flow of soothing reassurance as his breath began to even out. She tried to keep her body in check, but his head resting on the crest of her breasts, his breath sending warm drafts down her cleavage, put her senses on high alert. She should pull away, but after months of feeling alone, it felt good just to be held close. His hands released her wrists and moved around to her lower back to pull her closer, until her entire front was molded to his. She stroked her hands up and down his back, reveling in the opportunity to trace all of the muscles she’d been dying to touch since she’d seen them on display on moving day. When he began to shake again, she held him tighter.
“Stay with me. Listen to my voice. I’ve got you, Nick, and I’m not going anywhere. I’m here. You’re not alone. You don’t have to be alone.”
He opened his eyes and pulled back to look at her. He seemed to be coming out of it. His eyes were clear, and he recognized who he held in his arms.
“Dani. You came. How did you know?”
“I didn’t. I heard you through the door. I’m sorry. I used my key…” He shook his head to deny the apology.
“I needed you, and you came.” He dropped his forehead to her sternum and shook his head. She brought her hands back to soothing his hair and down his shoulders. She hated to see him so beaten.
“I will always come when you need me, Nick.” When he met her eyes one more time, they were deadly serious.
“What if I said I needed you right now?” His hands cruised under the hem of her shirt to grasp her lower back, skin to skin. “What if I asked you to stay?” He pressed his lips to the opening left by her V-neck t-shirt, kissing her collarbone. “Would you come, Dani? Would you stay and come for me?” He shifted beneath her, and she could feel his impatient erection nudging her where she sat straddled across his lap. She rocked her hips in response, savoring the sensation.
After fighting her attraction for weeks, it felt too good to stop. Her body had been starved for this kind of attention, and after looking at the sweets from afar, she was finally being offered a taste. Although the taste quickly turned into a feast when Nick raised his head from her chest, and took her lips with his. Finally. They had been dancing around their attraction for so long, she was relieved to be able to give in and let her guard down.
She crushed her lips to his with an urgency that overtook any finesse she might’ve exercised. Once she’d sampled the goodies, she had a craving for more. Nick pulled back and tried to speak, but all he could manage was, “Dani...I need…more…”
She cut him off, placing her fingers on his already swollen lips.
“Me, too.” She leaned back, gripping the hem of her shirt and pulling it over her head. She reveled in the look on his face. Her nipples pebbled even harder, now clearly visible through her demure undergarments. She certainly hadn’t planned on anyone seeing her bra when she’d gotten dressed. He didn’t seem to mind. She trembled as he reached up to trace her flesh along the edge of her bra, before tugging it down to reveal her. Repeating the maneuver on the other side, baring her fully to his gaze, he cupped her firm breasts before rubbing his thumbs over each crest. Each teasing sweep and pinch drove her farther out of her mind, until she rocked her hips forward, sliding herself against his shaft, eager to find some relief. Nick’s hips jerked in response, pushing him against her again. Dani reached down between them and swiftly pulled his shirt over his head. His trance broken, Nick leaned in and began to taste. She gripped his head in both hands, holding him tightly to her, willing him silently to continue pushing her higher. She could feel the delicious tension building just from rocking against him, still separated by two layers of denim.
Convinced that he wouldn't cease his attentions, Dani allowed her hands to roam, tracing every indent and curve. She felt the ridges of a nasty scar at his waist, but she was immediately distracted from her discovery. His movements jerky and frantic, Nick pushed up off the couch enough to flip her over onto her back, and reached for the button on her jeans. Dani pushed his hand away, and set about doing it herself.
“Go get yourself ready, because I’m about to explode, and I want you inside me when I do,” she commanded, tugging the tight denim down her legs.
Nick reached for his wallet, pulled out his emergency spare, and shucked his pants. He rolled on protection, and levered himself down over her waiting body. She lifted her arms in welcome. He leaned down to kiss her, as he slowly slid inside.
Dani gasped as he stretched her wide. It had been a long time since she’d made love, and everything felt deliciously tight. He slowly inched his way deeper and deeper until she relaxed and he slid home. She adored his weight on top of her, holding him so deeply inside her. He held still, breathing rapidly, and Dani could tell he was fighting for control. But she was too close to allow him stillness for very long. She was moments from a climax herself, and she wanted it, wanted him, badly. Drawing his head back down to her breasts, she made her needs clear, rocking her hips beneath him. He quickly took the hint and began kissing her nipples, letting her set the pace. It felt so damn good to lose herself in him.
She began the climb to oblivion and urged him to go faster, harder, more. She pushed him to give her everything she wanted. Her back arched as she skimmed the peak, before she clamped down hard around him. She shook endlessly, completely shattered by the power of her release. Nick quickly let his own orgasm overtake him, his rapid deep thrusts catching her on the way down.
He collapsed on top of her. When she gasped for breath, he rolled to the side, pulling her close to keep her from being crushed and from tumbling off the couch. Still inside her, he pulled her leg over his hip, tucked her head under his chin, and held her close. Lulled by her own release and his deep breathing, Dani quickly joined him in sleep, content to let thinking about what had just happened wait until later, much, much later.
Nick felt the soft arms holding him and the sweet smelling hair tickling his nose. He snuggled closer, enjoying the feeling of warmth and comfort, until he realized it wasn’t a dream. Reluctantly opening his eyes, he looked down and saw that it was, indeed, Dani tucked into his arms, nuzzled against his bare chest. Damn it. Anger welled up in his chest. Panic was right behind. He’d hoped it was just another dream. Had he just ruined the best thing in his life, their friendship? Why the hell was he so weak when it came to resisting her?
He couldn’t deny that the passion between them had been explosive, and that he no longer had his post-therapy hangover. But what now? He still wasn’t OK. He wasn’t whole. How could he ask her to be with him when he had nothing to offer her in return? It would be a one-sided relationship, and she deserved so much better than that. She was so kindhearted that she’d probably just sleep with him to help him feel better if he asked her. Oh, God. Is that what had just happened? Was this a pity fuck? That thought made him sick to his stomach. He slid back from her, unwrapping her arms from around him. He couldn’t stay in her arms, not knowing why she was holding him. He left the room to take a shower and try to get his head on straight before he had to talk to her. He was afraid of the rage that was swimming in his blood, and he didn’t know what would come out of his mouth if he tried to explain right now. Stalking into his bedroom, he put his fist through the nearest wall and added another drywall patch to his to-do list.