CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

 

A resentful heart is like a garden full of weeds choking all its glory.

 

Jewell

 

I WISH WE had never gone to Cynthia Blake’s wedding. Since then, Ross has been drinking regularly. When he did, he was as mean as a rattlesnake. I was weary of having to stave off his venom. I was equally weary of Holly’s bitter attitude. What did she have to be angry about? I was the one who was suffering.

“Where have you been?” I demanded one Friday evening as Holly tried to sneak in the back door.

“At the movies,” she mumbled. “Sorry I’m late.”

I looked at the clock. It was a little past eleven.

“I thought I told you to be home by ten. Your father is fit to be tied.”

“It’s not my fault. We had to wait on Marilyn’s mother to pick us up.”

“Why didn’t you call?” I heard Ross get up from his chair. He rarely backed me up when it came to disciplining our children, so I wasn’t sure if he was coming to my aid or not.

“I said I was sorry. I’m not a baby, you know. None of my friends’ parents make them come home by ten on weekends.”

“We’re not your friends’ parents. You know how worried we get if you don’t come home when you’re supposed to. A girl your age shouldn’t be out all hours of the night.”

“If it were up to you, I’d never leave the house. You never let me do anything. You treat me like a prisoner.”

“As long as you’re under our roof, you will do what we say,” I insisted. “Do you understand?”

“Yeah, I understand.”

“It’s ‘yes, ma’am’ when you talk to me.”

“You let Kathleen do anything she wanted when she was my age. Now I’m being punished because she ran off and got married.”

“We don’t want you to make the same mistakes Kathleen made, is all.”

“I’m leaving home as soon as school is out,” Holly asserted.

“And just where do you think you’re going, Miss High and Mighty?”

“You’re not leaving the house for the next two weeks,” Ross said.

Holly pouted. “That’s not fair.”

“For all we know, you could be out smoking, drinking, and carrying on with boys,” Ross accused.

“You’re one to talk,” Holly popped off as she turned and headed upstairs.

“God damn it!” Ross exploded when he heard her door slam. “I’ve had enough of her smart mouth.”

“Wait, Ross.” I blocked his path. “I don’t know why you have to have a few drinks before you’re upset enough to be the man in charge. Why don’t you come to bed? We can both talk to Holly tomorrow.”

“Out of my way.” Ross’s face was red like a poppy exploding in the sun. He pushed past me and dashed upstairs. I caught up with him as he burst into Holly’s room.

“You have two choices,” he shouted. “You can apologize right now, or you can get your things and get out! I’ve had enough of your attitude.”

“I don’t have anything to be sorry about,” Holly stated boldly.

“Where have you been all night?” Ross demanded.

“I was out with my friends.”

“Out with friends doing what?”

“I was at the movies with Marilyn and Connie. I’m home now. I’m in my room. I didn’t do anything wrong. Can you please get out and leave me alone?”

“This is my house, so don’t tell me to get out. If you can’t show a little respect to your Mother and me, you don’t belong here.”

“Fine. I’ll leave tomorrow. You don’t care what happens to me, anyway.”

“We care what happens to you,” I said, “so don’t start on that. Both of you need to settle down. Ross, you’ve had too much to drink, and Holly, you need to keep your mouth shut. Why can’t you be more like—”

“More like Jake?” Holly asked. “Well, I’m not like him. And I’m not like Kathleen. I’m tired of having both of them crammed down my throat all the time.”

“Jake never gave us any problems,” I said.

“You never bothered to notice.” Holly threw more fuel on the fire. “You wanted to believe he didn’t do anything wrong, that he was always perfect.”

“He was perfect!” I said. “He never did anything wrong. Jake was perfect from the day he was born to the day he—”

“Died.” Holly emphasized what I couldn’t bring myself to say. “Well, that’s just it, Mother. He is dead. I guess that makes him perfect. He can’t do anything wrong if he’s dead.”

Ross grabbed Holly by her shoulders and shoved her backward onto the bed.

“You take that back, or I’ll squeeze every last breath out of you.” He wrapped his hands around her neck.

“I meant what I said,” Holly sputtered.

“Let go of her!” I screamed. “What do you think you’re doing? Let go of her this minute!”

Ross released his grip. His face was ashen and his eyes were blank, as though he had awakened from a bad dream and couldn’t remember where he was or what he was doing. I walked him down the stairs and waited until he settled down before coming back to check on Holly.

Holly was curled up on her bed with her face buried in her pillow.

“Are you all right?” I asked.

“He tried to kill me,” Holly dramatized, sitting up for full effect.

“He did no such thing. He just got carried away, is all. You should know better than to say things that will upset him when he’s drinking.”

“You’re blaming me for this?” Holly charged. “I can’t believe you keep putting up with him. He’s getting worse. He’s going to hurt you or me one of these days. I’m scared of him and you should be, too. I don’t care if you do think it’s my fault that he behaves like a maniac; he tried to kill me.”

“He would never hurt you, Holly. The best thing you can do is just forget about this and go to sleep.”

“I can’t just forget about it. I can’t believe you expect me to. I don’t think I’ll ever forget what happened tonight for as long as I live. I can’t take this anymore. I’ve already made up my mind. I’m leaving home as soon as school is out.”

“You can’t leave home. You’re not old enough to go out on your own.”

“I want to spend the summer with Mama Hendricks.”

“In Land of Goshen? What on earth would you do there? Your grandmother can’t take care of herself, let alone a girl your age.”

“She doesn’t have to take care of me. I can help Antarctica take care of her. Mama Hendricks is always asking me to come and visit. Please call her, Mother. You saw what happened. If I stay here, things will only get worse.”

“I’ll see what I can do. But you have to promise that you won’t say anything to your grandmother about this. We don’t need to upset her. She didn’t raise her sons to drink and I don’t want you to tell her otherwise. Is that clear?”

Holly had more spunk than me. Nevertheless, she ought to keep her mouth shut rather than argue with Ross when he’s drinking. I shuddered to think what might happen the next time he put his hands around her throat. I would call Mama Hendricks tomorrow.