The Valley of Knowledge and Wisdom
IF SOMEONE ASKED ME TO EXPLAIN IT, I COULD NOT. I SIMPLY KNOW WHEN I KNOW. I KNEW WHEN I MET HIM it was not going to work out. Did I listen? No! Who listens to me? I knew when I took the job it was not where I wanted to be. Did I leave? Of course not! If you have to pay the rent you keep the job. I knew it when I lent her the money. I knew I would not get it back on time. The minute she started making excuses for why she did not have the money on the day she said she would, the day I needed it so badly, I wanted to pinch myself. As she told me the long story, I knew she wasn’t telling the truth. Like an idiot, I stood there, listened to her, and walked away smiling, when I was totally pissed off! Each time my gut, my spirit, tells me something and I do not listen, I find myself in trouble. Why is it so hard to listen to myself, while I willingly allow other people to tell me anything, particularly things I know are not true? It must be the orange juice. That’s it! Too much orange juice has turned my brain to pulp!
Intuition, “teaching from within,” is a fail-safe guidance mechanism with which we are endowed at birth. Through it, we always know what we need to know. We know what is going on with ourselves and with everyone else. Intuition never fails to operate. It warns us. It guides us. It provides us with helpful little hints and tidbits of information about everyone and everything. The issue is, do we know what to do about what we know? Usually not. We get the message or the information intuitively, but we do not know how to handle it. We may not know how, why, when, or what, but intuition sends us signals we generally ignore. We simply do not believe that what we are thinking or feeling is actually true. Not knowing what to do about what we know, not trusting what we know, and not believing what we know—these are the things that take us into the Valley of Knowledge and Wisdom. In the Valley of Knowledge and Wisdom, we face those experiences that are the result of disobedience, failure to follow the voice of spirit—the quiet, still voice which speaks within our heart and mind. The information we receive lives in the marrow of our bones. It is the genetic memory of our DNA and the essence of who we are. We are at all times connected to the One and the ones who paved the way for our lives. They speak to us. They give us guidance. They tell us exactly what to do—but we don’t listen. We are disobedient.
We are disobedient because we allow fear, doubt, habits of human nature, and the lack of discipline to silence our inner wisdom. We know, but we are not certain. In our uncertainty, therefore, we disobey the voice of our soul. The experiences which bring us to this valley are the forces of life urging us to develop obedience through disciplined spiritual practices. In this way, when we tune in to the voice of spirit, we will be assured we can move forward in certainty of the outcome.
The American society is one which prides itself on information. The more information you have, the more valuable you are to the world and those around you. The trick is, you are expected to get the information from sources other than yourself, outside sources. You must have credentials, indicating how much information you have, before anyone will listen to you. You are taught to hash and rehash information which has already been discovered and discussed. If you come up with anything new, well, you can forget it. We learn this early in our lives. We are taught as children that we know nothing. If we think we do or insist we might, we are told we are arrogant and out of place. Some of us are lucky enough to be born to parents who believe children do know. Unfortunately, they send us to schools with teachers who keep their job as long as we do not know.
Those of us who are lucky enough to know, to prove we know, and to make others believe we know are considered geniuses. We are held out as some sort of freaks of nature, something to be honored and valued. The rest of the people, who may not know how to articulate what they know, are made to feel worthless in comparison to the genius. That is how it starts. In our childhood, we are taught we do not know and we believe it. We carry this feeling of ignorance into our adult life, feeling less than adequate unless someone, somewhere, has already proven what we know and feel in our hearts. This is not too difficult, since nothing is really new. Life is an educational process, a process of pulling information out, not putting information in. We are all here to express the same old things in new ways. Unfortunately, as a result of our childhood trauma, even when we think we know, we have been taught not to trust ourselves.
Rehashing and accepting already hashed information works fine in business, economics, sometimes even politics. It does not work well in our interpersonal relationships. Acting as if we do not know what we know, who people are, what they want, and what they are willing to do to get what they want can be hazardous to our physical, mental, and spiritual well-being.
We are taught to believe what other people say. When we are told that a person is wonderful and marvelous, we believe it, even if our intuition tells us something different. We are taught to believe what we see. When our inner self shows us something which contradicts what the physical eyes see, we generally go with the physical. Job interviews are a clear example. Most of us behave totally differently on interviews than we do at any other time in life. We dress up, sit up, speak up, and do exactly what we think is required. Interviewers know we are on our best behavior, but they buy it anyway. They buy what we are showing them rather than what is. I for one have been on many interviews where I lied through my teeth and had the paper to substantiate every word. I needed a job. I knew how to play the game, so I did.
At some time or another, we all play the game. Whether interviewing for a job, meeting the parents of a friend or beau, or eating in a fancy restaurant, we put on a show. The problem comes about when it is time to be real. If we get real, saying what we feel and what we think, people get upset. If we get real by talking about what we feel and no one else agrees with us, we believe that we are wrong. When we get real and do what our hearts and minds lead us to do, we are afraid to stand alone.
Being real is frightening to most people. It is so much easier to put on a show and act as if we do not know. Each time we do, we sell our “selves” out. We let our “selves” down. As a result, we learn not to trust the “self” who we let down and sold out in order to go along with the crowd and do what was expected. Selling ourselves out to play the game is an insult to the teacher within who provides us with all the knowledge we need at any given time, free of charge.
Knowledge is having information. Wisdom is knowing what to do with the information you have. Most of us are very knowledgeable. Few of us are wise. Spirit is very well aware of our dilemma. Consequently, when we will not listen to the spirit within, the information will be presented to us through the world around us. We will hear or see things which spark an interesting thought or an idea. Thoughts often provide us with some form of information about ourselves, others, or what to do at a given time. Thoughts give us clues about the possibilities and opportunities which lie ahead of us. People in our lives also give us information.
Sylvia and Alex had been married for twenty-three years. Twenty-three long, often hard years, which produced three beautiful children of whom they were both very proud. They “loved” each other, but they were no longer “in love.” Sylvia knew it. Alex knew it. Neither of them knew how to say it. They had stopped arguing long ago. Now, they ate their meals together. They attended all the obligatory functions together. They were civil to one another and they slept at separate ends of the bed. Sex had stopped about three years ago. All touching had ceased about two years ago. One of them needed to do something. Neither of them did.
Sylvia was forty-six. Still very attractive, very active, secure in her career. Their youngest child was ten years old the first time she heard it: her husband was actively involved with another woman. She began suffering from panic attacks. “Leave this marriage.” It was more of an idea than an instruction—an idea she considered absolutely absurd. She had no place to go. Everything was in his name. Besides that, the children loved, no, idolized him. Alex was not a bad person. He just liked other women.
When Sylvia decided to go back to college to get her degree, the panic attacks calmed down quite a bit. She was feeling a lot more confident and a lot less dependent on him. Their oldest child was preparing to go to college. She had been promoted on her job. Alex was talking about buying a new house. Things seemed bearable. Until the idea started plaguing her. “Leave him. Leave him now!” It now had a sense of urgency. Every time Sylvia heard it, she could feel the panic rising in her body, threatening to take her breath away. It was happening every day, several times a day. She was relieved the day it happened at her mother’s house. It gave her just the opportunity she needed to talk to someone about it.
When she told her mother she was thinking about leaving Alex, her mother said: “Good! I never liked him anyway.”
Sylvia was shocked. But she also felt the need to defend him. Alex was her husband. The father of her children. “Why? Why don’t you like him? He has never done anything to you.”
“First of all, he thinks he is the cat’s meow. He acts like everybody owes him something for being great. Alex acts like he thinks he did you a favor by marrying you. I always told you to marry that nice guy from your grandmother’s church. Oh no! You had to marry Mr. Wonderful!”
“That nice guy from Grandma’s church had buck teeth and wore bifocals.”
“Good! Nobody else would want him! Everybody wants Mr. Wonderful! There is something funny about him. I don’t know what it is, but I know there is something which must come to light.”
“How do you know?”
“Because I’m your mother. A mother knows when her daughter’s husband has another woman. It changes the color of your skin. I can smell it. I know it is poisoning you and you should leave him.”
“I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t know, I just can’t.”
So she didn’t.
Until she had that discussion with her mother, Sylvia would not allow herself to think about leaving him. That day, in spite of what she said, she knew she had to do it. It was not just that he had other women—he just did not make her happy. Alex was as nice as he was mean. Not moody—arrogant was a better word, just as her mother had pointed out. But he was a good provider. He paid all the bills, her money was her money. If there was something he could not pay, he always asked her to cover it until next time. Those instances were very rare.
Sylvia spent her money on the children, herself, and anything she wanted for the house. Basically, she did whatever she wanted to do. Alex never asked her about money. He never asked her where she was going. He never asked her anything. He told her everything. That was it! Alex never asked her opinion. He never elicited her help. He treated her as if she were ignorant, and she had been playing the part. If she left him, maybe he would realize how smart she was. Still, the thought of it made her weak.
They bought the new house, in his name. Their second daughter went off to school. He was coming home earlier. Must have ended another fling. Sylvia was in her last semester of school, six months away from her degree, when the unthinkable happened. She met a man. A wonderful man. He was gentle, polite, easygoing, very intelligent, and divorced. He sat next to her in class. If she was late, he saved a seat for her. When class was over, he always offered her a ride. One night, because her car was in the shop, Sylvia accepted his offer. They stopped for coffee. He asked her questions. He listened to her answers. They laughed together. He took her home, and she knew: something was about to happen.
She could not get to sleep. She walked the floor. She drank tea. She watched television. She woke Alex up twice getting in and out of the bed. She told him it was cramps. Right part of the body. Wrong affliction. It was lust. Pure and simple. There was a raging lust burning in her that was about to burst. She was frantic, so she did what most frantic people do: she prayed. “Please help me! Tell me what to do! Take him away! I’m confused! I’m weak! I’m sexually frustrated! I know it is wrong, but I can’t help myself. Please help me.” The prayer helped her calm down somewhat. Within seconds, the answer came to her loud and clear: “Leave him! You have no excuse to stay.” “I can’t! My children will hate me. He will hunt me down. I will be penniless. I love him, I just don’t want to be with him. I can’t leave.” And so she didn’t.
She told him about her marriage. He told her to do whatever she thought was best. He would be her friend no matter what she decided to do. Both of them decided an affair was too risky at this point. She needed to be sure. He did not want to be her excuse to leave. They discussed and decided to keep things as they were until she figured it all out. Her best girlfriend told her to keep both of them. One for the money, the other just for the hell of it. Her sister told her adultery was a sin and that she would burn in hell. She reminded her sister that her husband would be there burning with her. Her mother told her to be careful. “Every shut eye ain’t asleep.” Her theory was that the guy was a plant, either a plant by her husband or a plant by God to see what she would do. By the time she had spread her business all over town, she was more confused than ever.
The voice had become an obsession. Each time Sylvia saw Alex, it screamed at her, “Leave!” She began to think she was losing her mind. She could not figure out if she really wanted to leave or if she just wanted peace of mind. She thought they were mutually exclusive. After graduation, Sylvia would meet her friend on the weekends. They went to the theater, they shopped, they did all the things she and her husband had stopped doing. One Saturday afternoon, when they were in the middle of having lunch, she saw her oldest daughter Ivy, who on the spot demanded to know who the man was.
Sylvia decided not to lie. “He is a friend of mine from school, whom I like very much and spend most of my spare time with.”
“Is he your lover?”
“That is none of your business.”
“Well, it is my father’s business.”
“Yes. He is.” Again, Sylvia decided not to lie.
In the middle of this lovely little cafe, twenty minutes away from her house, her oldest daughter screamed, fell into her chest, and cried hysterically.
It did not matter whether or not the daughter told the husband. Sylvia would never live through the guilt and shame. She was convicted. She had never considered how this would affect the children. She had only considered her own selfish needs. This was their first child. Alex’s favorite child. He was her hero. They were best friends. Sylvia decided, no matter what else happened, it would stay that way. He helped Sylvia and Ivy to their car. Ivy cried all the way home but she never said a word.
Thank God Alex was not there when they got home. They both went to their rooms and closed the doors. Sylvia called her mother to tell her about the mess. Her mother replied that it was bound to happen. Thank God it had happened. Sylvia did not have to live like a thief in the night. She was a grown woman. Her children were practically grown. Leave him! Right now! Today! Sylvia decided to talk to her husband about the possibility of a separation. She would do it as soon as he came home.
When Ivy knocked on the door, Sylvia’s heart began to race. Ivy came in, crawled into the bed, curled up next to her mother, and began to cry. Sylvia and Ivy both cried until the daughter spoke. Ivy was sorry Daddy had pushed her out of his life. She knew about the other women. She had met one of them. She was sorry her mother had been so unhappy for so long. She had tried to help her, though. She used to pray they would not argue. It worked. Now she was sorry her mother was leaving Daddy, but she understood. Why had she waited so long? Why had she let Daddy treat her this way? What was the man’s name? Did he have any children?
You just never know. The very thing you believe is virtually impossible is the very thing that often happens. Of all their children, this is the one Sylvia had thought would crumble under the pressure of a divorce. If the children had to decide between their parents, Sylvia thought for sure she would lose this one. To find out that Ivy knew about her father and felt bad for her mother was completely unexpected. Sylvia was angry but elated. She was hurt, but for the first time in a long time, she was strong. Now she could leave. As her oldest child lay sleeping in her bed, she ran downstairs to call her friend. As she was explaining what had happened, he burst out laughing, telling her, “You just never know, do you?”
Sylvia skipped right past separation to divorce. There was no longer any reason to wait. If Alex would not agree, she would go to Mexico. She had the money. She wanted the car, the china, and of course, the youngest child, whom Alex would put through college. If he didn’t agree, she would fight him tooth and nail. Sylvia practiced her speech over and over. She paced the floor. Peered through the window. Paced some more. Peered again. It was 5:30 in the morning when the voice said, “He isn’t coming home.”
The sun came up at about 6:10. She realized that for the first time in twenty-three years, her husband had stayed out all night. She was livid. This had to be a new one, one who did not know the rules. But he knew the rules. She remembered their first big argument about his infidelity. He had come home at 3:00 A.M. She told him if midnight ever caught him on the other side of the door, she would leave and take him to the cleaners. Since that night, he had never stayed out beyond 11:00, 11:30 at the latest. Considering he closed his office at 5:00 and was off on Wednesdays, that hadn’t been so restrictive. Now she knew she was making the right decision. By 7:30, she was praying for the opportunity to tell him.
Don’t you hate it when the telephone and the doorbell ring at the same time? At 7:43, it happened. Her mother was on the telephone. The police were at the door. Mother said she would wait. The police had found Alex’s body slumped over the wheel of his car about an hour ago. Everything was intact. No signs of foul play. Must have been a heart attack. She would have to come to identify the body. Ivy became hysterical again. The police were very sympathetic and very supportive. How old was he? Fifty-one. What a shame. Very nice-looking man. Mother was screaming into the telephone, “What’s wrong over there? Pick me up, I’ll go with you. This is your father all over again.”
The lawyer waited two weeks after the funeral to call. He wanted to stop by to talk to Sylvia about a few things. There was no will, but the property was joint. Sylvia had to refrain from telling him, “And I am free.” When the lawyer showed up, he was embarrassed. He was as shocked as she was. He was so sorry. He would help her any way he could. Had Sylvia divorced him, no one would have ever known. Now there was sure to be a lengthy, costly legal battle. “The law is very clear. The wife takes everything. That marriage was recorded two years before Sylvia and Alex’s marriage. The woman has the papers and all of the checks dated up to three weeks ago. The one child is grown.” It didn’t really matter, however. That wife and that child would have everything Sylvia’s name was not on. That wife owned this house, her car, and every dime in the bank he left that was not for the support of minor children. She wanted it all and chances are, she would get it. The lawyer could not figure out why Alex had not taken care of this long ago. Whatever the reason, he had not. Now Sylvia was in the valley.
Follow your first thought. Be obedient to what your spirit guides you to do. If you are not clear, ask for clarity. Do not be so willing to doubt yourself, to abandon yourself. You cannot know you are on the right track unless you move. The truth has a way of vibrating in your soul. It lets every part of you know when it is present. “Be still and know” the truth in you. Lies are what we accept from the world, not what you have been given in your spirit.
How do you know you know? Because we cannot not know. That would mean we were set up for failure from the start. Why would we be given the essence of all that is good in life and be doomed to fail? Our knowledge was born within us. It is intelligence that we must develop along the way. Unfortunately, it is our intelligence which leads us to doubt what we know.
We live in such a vicious cycle. We are told we do not know so we must be educated. As we are educated, there is a criterion for the measurement process. Where we get knowledge, and who provides us with the knowledge, determines the value the world places on the knowledge. And how do we get this knowledge? We read it in books. The books we read, we are expected to remember. The question then becomes, do we know or do we remember? How can knowledge be substantiated without experience? Yet our experiences are limited by what we know. How can it be that every vital thing we need to live is inside of us, but the knowledge we need to live is outside of us? These are just a few of the questions which keep us in doubt and conflict about what we know and how to use it.
In the Valley of Knowledge and Wisdom are the experiences which allow us to examine and test what we know. When our intuitive learning presents us with information, we must test its veracity by being obedient to what we hear. We must suspend all judgment and intellect long enough to examine whether or not what we are hearing is consistent with what we know, what we want, and what we are doing. We get caught off guard when what we hear inside is inconsistent with what everyone else is saying or doing. We question ourselves and ignore the messages we receive. We have been trained to do it. We have a fear of moving out from the pack, looking different, being different. If we have not developed courage, it is difficult to be confident about what we know.
THE WISE OFTEN STAND ALONE
Eagles do not flock. You find them one at a time. They fly higher than all the other birds. Chickens flock and get caught in the slaughter. Very often, chickens are eaten by eagles. In the Valley of Knowledge and Wisdom, revisit the fear of being alone. The conditioned response to being different is that it’s wrong. If it’s so wrong to be different, then why do we all have different faces? different bodies? Why don’t we all have one uniform way of looking and living? That would be our death. Life is diversity. No two things are the same. No two paths cover the same ground. No two people can express the same uniqueness. God made Chihuahuas and He made Saint Bernards. If either loves you, it will look different. If either bites you, it will feel different. We must each learn to become comfortable in our uniqueness—what that looks like, what that feels like, and what we know as a result of it.
In The Supreme Philosophy of Man, the Law of Obedience states:
To obey means to submit to rule or to comply with orders and instructions. Obedience then is the governor of all movement whether it be mechanical, literal or spiritual. Once this law is understood, we hold the secret of eternal happiness, peace, and domination or mastery over all forces around us.
Obedience to spirit is the only way to master our lives. We must learn to be obedient to develop courage. We must be obedient to see the fruits of our faith. We must be obedient if we practice trust. Obedience to the internal voice is the only way to master our human nature which lusts after external appearances. Many of the challenges Black women face in their lives arise not because we do not know what to do, but as a result of our failure to listen to what we know. We get confused. We are not sure whether to follow the laws of earth or those of the invisible realm—the laws of spirit.
The laws of earth, physical laws, promise us things we can see and have. They offer us immediate gratification. But the laws which govern the invisible realm take time to manifest our desires. Our lives, for the most part, are measured and quantified by outward appearances, the way things look. We accept these measures of our worth by paying first homage to the law of what is tangible. The error we make in following this logic is we forget that everything we can now see is an outgrowth of something which has taken place in the realm of the invisible—the realm of spirit.
We see a beautiful, shiny, brand-new BMW. This is more than just a car. It was first an idea in someone’s mind. Obediently, that person nurtured that idea, held a clear picture of what it was, what it would look like. Drew a picture. Obediently, others followed instructions, crafting, designing, until they produced the prototype. Wrote it down. Following instructions, they listed everything about this car that would make it different from all other cars. They obeyed, not knowing if they would be embraced or disgraced. The rest is history. As a result of someone’s obedience to the invisible, today we have not just a car, but a masterfully crafted machine for our driving pleasure and safety.
Disobedience is the refusal to do what you know. Spirit always provides guidance and instruction. We doubt. We fear. We worry. We question. We forget the powerful workings of the mind. Whatever we give the mind, it will produce. If we feed the mind seeds of worry, doubt, and fear, it produces situations to increase what we worry over and fear. That is the law. Worry in. Worry out. Obedience in. Rewards out. If we learn to obey the voice of spirit rather than the appearances and conditions around us, our rewards will become tangible experiences in our lives.
TRUST WHAT YOU KNOW
“Can’t you do anything right!” “Why can’t you do what you are told?” “This is wrong! You did it wrong!” “I don’t know when you will learn to do things the right way!” That is where it all starts. Between the ages of three, four, and five years old, our parents and other caregivers, in their frustration, anger, or impatience, let us know how wrong we are. It is the job of adults to convince children they are wrong. Remember when you got one of those big, fat red F’s on a test or homework assignment, which you quickly hid in the desk so no one else would see how “wrong” or “bad” you were? What about when you received the red-circled 60’s, 55’s, or lower on your report card, for which you were punished? Punishment always lets you know how “wrong” you have been. It’s a pure setup! We are measured against standards which have absolutely nothing to do with us. If we don’t live up to the standards, we are considered wrong. If you are wrong, you cannot be trusted. If you are wrong, you do not know what is right or good for you.
The setup continues when, as children, we see people do things and they tell us we did not see what we know we saw. If we walk in somewhere we should not be, if we interrupt acts adults would rather we didn’t see, if we find things adults thought were well hidden, we get blamed. “What are you doing in here?” “Where did you get that?” “Get out! Get out right now!” Somehow, being a curious child has made you wrong again. You don’t know what you are doing that is wrong, but you are doing it. Let us not forget dishonesty, while we’re at it. When we hear adults say things we know are not true, which adults insist are true, we doubt ourselves. After all, we are usually wrong anyway.
We fall into the real trap when we say true things and are scolded or punished for saying them. My classic was, “I don’t like Grandma. She’s mean.” My parents would sit me in the corner each time I said it. As children, we have an uncanny way of telling the truth. The truth is not always nice. The truth is not always convenient. As children, we don’t know that. We just speak. Unpleasant and inconvenient truths sometimes result in a pop across the chops. We remember these experiences when we are adults. We have a difficult time telling unpleasant or inconvenient truths. We may have valuable knowledge or information about people and situations, but if it’s unpleasant or inconvenient, we remain silent. This is not a wise thing to do.
DO WHAT FEELS RIGHT FOR YOU
We must each learn to feel comfortable in our own uniqueness by rising above the fear of being wrong and the aversion to being different. We witness the experience all of the time. We see a wonderful singing group. We enjoy their music and believe they work well together. Then, we see one member strike out on his or her own. Diana Ross. Patti LaBelle. Sheila E. Be assured it was not an easy task for them. Alliances had been formed. Plans, goals, dreams had been shared. Yet there came a time when that one individual had to be obedient to the urge in her soul. And what happened when she left the group? Did the group flourish and survive? In some cases, yes. In others, no. When it comes to being obedient, what will happen to those you leave behind is not your issue! We get stuck in worrying about what the fate of others will be if we follow our heart. The danger is what Dr. Vanessa Weaver, author of Smart Women, Smart Moves, calls “analysis paralysis.” We become so bogged down trying to figure out what could happen, what might happen, we do not move and nothing happens. The key to finding a little tummy comfort when you know you must be obedient to your spirit is to be honest, tell exactly what you know and feel, and act with love.
Never use what you call obedience as an excuse to harm another person. Always examine the quality of your intent. If you are out to get someone, to flex your ego, or to pursue your own personal hidden agenda, you must keep your mouth shut. When we know an unpleasant truth about a situation or a person, we must evaluate the quality of our intent before revealing the information to anyone. A few very simple questions will reveal the truth:
1. Why am I revealing this information?
2. Who will be helped/harmed if I reveal this information?
3. What is the source of the information? Is it reliable?
4. What do I expect to happen once the information is revealed?
We are not talking about hearsay or gossip. That stuff is never reliable. We are talking about a strong intuitive sense, a personal experience, or information which has come directly to you from a reliable source. If your intent is not honorable, the information will probably blow up in your face.
Ask for guidance every step of the way. There may be times when the messages or information we receive are not clear or complete. Ask in prayer or meditation what to do and what to say. Be obedient to what you hear. Do exactly as you are told or what feels right to you. Spirit is usually very specific. Do not add or omit anything, no matter how ridiculous or insignificant it may seem. Remember, the little things do matter.
This is where I always get into trouble. I get the instructions, clearly, specifically, but the control freak in me always finds something to add or subtract. Very often I add what I think is needed to keep other people from being upset or angry with me. Or I subtract the thing that is most uncomfortable for me, the thing that will challenge my fear. Whenever I am disobedient, I must deal with the unpleasant outcome. There are times I can regroup and still move forward. However, there are those times when not paying attention to the details sends me right back to the drawing board.
It ain’t easy being a queen. Somebody is always ready and willing to dethrone you. In order to hold on to your royalty, you must plant yourself firmly on your throne and refuse to move. People are going to challenge your royalty, your right to sit where you are and do what you are doing. Just know that it is their job. If you give up the throne to the first person who comes along to challenge you, you are proving you are not worthy. Be obedient. Sit tight. No one is running around challenging the paupers. Trust that you have what it takes to rule your own life.
DEVELOP DISCIPLINE
If you do not have some degree of discipline, you cannot be obedient. There needs to be a prescribed manner in which you communicate with and contact your higher self, your spirit. You want to know there is some place you can go or something you can do to get guidance when you need it. This can take the form of a daily ritual or routine. It may also be a sense, a feeling you get.
One reason we do not trust what we know is that we are not sure what it sounds and feels like. We must learn to spend time with our innermost selves. We must learn to love, value, and honor who we are. Quiet time is the best place to start. Spend time alone with you, listening to your thoughts. Begin to filter out those things you know are not true about you. Ask yourself simple questions about yourself and listen to the thoughts which flow. The answers will be revealed.
Learning to trust yourself and what you know takes time and work. You cannot expect to eradicate a lifetime of misguided information overnight. You must make a continuous, conscious effort to get on good terms with you. Try spending the first twenty minutes of your day in conscious contact with yourself. Sit quietly and think good thoughts about yourself; speak loving, encouraging words into the mirror while looking into your eyes; write yourself a love letter and read it aloud to yourself. Just as in our relationships with others, trust must be built between you and your “self.”
Trust is based on your ability to depend on yourself. When you say you will or will not do a thing, keep your word. If you cannot honor your original commitment, renegotiate. You cannot let yourself down and expect you to be there for you in a pinch. Tell yourself the truth about what you feel, what you want, what you will and will not do. There will be times when you falter. In those cases, do not beat up on yourself. Get still and ask yourself, “How can I do it better next time?”
Each and every day, make time for a self-inventory. This is best done at the end of the day. Mentally reflect on the day’s activities. Did you honor your agreements with yourself and others? Did you act with integrity and an honorable intent? Did you honor what you were feeling throughout the day? Did you ask for guidance and follow it? Did you give thanks for the guidance you received? What were the things you did today which you want to do better? What were the things you did well today? Did you celebrate your successes today? What are you willing to work on about yourself tomorrow? These questions can be asked and answered mentally, or you can keep a journal. Self-evaluation is the key to self-understanding. Self-understanding is the key to trusting yourself and what you know.
ACT WITH CERTAINTY
Knowing is not the issue for many of us. Translating the information into words or action in a wise manner seems to be where we experience the greatest amount of difficulty. How do we speak the unpleasant truth in a manner which will not get us thrown out of the nearest window? Ask for your own inner guidance. If you can get still enough and calm enough to ask what you should do or say, you will be guided. The exact words will come to mind. You will be guided as to what to do. You must trust what you are feeling and go with it. If you allow fear, intimidation, or doubt to overtake you, the guidance will not be clear. If you are afraid of what someone will do to you, or what will happen as a result of what you know, you will be thrown off track. If pleasing other people is your ultimate goal, you’re doomed from the start.
There are times when it is wise to be silent and observe. There are situations when you must speak directly to the person or people involved in what you know. There are times when you must say what you know, say it loud, and say it repeatedly until someone hears you. Ask for guidance. You will be directed and you will know exactly what to do. When the guidance comes forth, trust it! Do exactly as you are told! When you have done what you have been directed to do, with an honorable intent, sit back and observe. It may take a while for something to happen. What you expect, may never happen. That is not the issue. Taking what you know and using it in a wise way is the only way to keep yourself out of the Valley of Knowledge and Wisdom.
BE OBEDIENT
Some of us are bold, some are arrogant. Some of us are insensitive, others are intimidating. Some of us are powerful, some are intelligent. Few of us are obedient. It takes a great deal of wisdom to develop the discipline required to do what you know is necessary for your growth and well-being. Only with disciplined obedience can you develop the skill to know what to do, when to move, and how to accomplish the task. Discipline and obedience replace fear. If you are obedient to the laws of nature, moving consistently in a disciplined manner, you have no need to fear or doubt the natural outcome of your actions will follow, with the best intent for all involved. Certainty is not bold or forceful. It is a gentle energy which, because it is intangible, is often mistaken for something else. Certainty is not boastful or self-seeking. More often than not, it is silent and modest. Certainty, the outgrowth of discipline and obedience, is the ultimate testimony of faith, trust, and truth.
Knowing is the foundation of certainty. You must know that the universe and your spirit will protect you from all harm. You must know that no matter what happens, the truth of who you are cannot be touched. You must know that you are valuable and worthy of being heard, honored, and respected. Knowing is an active function of intuition. You develop it from the inside in order to see it operate on the outside. When you can trust yourself and what you know, and act with the most honorable intent, at the appropriate time, in the appropriate manner, without fear, doing what needs to be done without expectation of reward or recognition, you have developed obedience.
No one is saying it will be easy to do what you know is right or good for you. That is what the valleys are about. Valley experiences force you to do the hard stuff that makes you better for life. Life and the laws that govern it are consistent. Hard lessons make you better. If you have a bad habit, you better stop it! If you have an unhealthy body, you better heal it! If you are in a failing relationship, you better get out of it! Sylvia knew the marriage was over. She knew Alex was cheating. She knew it was only a matter of time, and still she stayed, trying to squeeze water from a rock. There are plenty of rocks in the Valley of Knowledge and Wisdom, which is where she ended up.
No matter what anyone says or does, you cannot move, will not move, out of a situation until you are ready. To the outside world, the situation may have seemed unbearable eons ago. But you, who live in the midst of the garbage, you find a way to cope, to hang on until you are ready, willing to let go. The wife was very clear that she was not ready to leave. She told her mother. She told herself. What she did not do was sit down and make an attempt to figure out why. Why was she willing to stay? Was it fear? Was she staying for convenience? Was she hoping for the best? We do not know, and she, it seemed, did not care to know.
Everybody has a fleeting thought, an idea which sticks out in her mind. It may pass through and keep going, or it may plague you, hound you, haunt you until you pay attention. The wife had more than a fleeting thought. She had an obsessive drive to make the first move. She did not obey. She did not examine. She found excuses and reasons to ignore the thought and stay in the marriage. Spirit really does want to support and guide us. We get in the way of the very support we need with our questions and fears. If the human self cannot figure it out, or see the way out, we pay little attention to the spiritual urge. We want to know how and why. We want written directions and concrete instructions. Spirit does not work that way! Spirit prompts, sends signs and signals. It is up to you to obey. Trust, faith, and obedience are what spirit requires of us. Without them, we drive ourselves face first into the very mess spirit will have to get us out of later on.
If there is something which continues to stay to the fore of your mind, pay attention to it. If you are being prompted, guided, to do a certain thing, be obedient. Your spirit has no reason to play tricks on you or send you up the river. If you go, it goes with you. If you are in bondage to people or conditions, your spirit is in bondage with you. You already know when it is time for you to move up or out. If spirit is prompting you, it means the universe is ready and willing to support you. Take advantage of a good thing when it passes through you. Spiritual guidance is the best guarantee that the time and conditions are right for you. Do not limit yourself to what you think you know. Be obedient. When spirit says jump, simply ask, “How high?”
MEDITATION WITH THE MOTHER
—INCIDENTS IN THE LIFE OF A SLAVE GIRL
He told me I was his property; that I must be subject to his will in all things. My soul revolted against the mean tyranny. But where could I go for help?
There is peace in the midst of your mind. That peace makes your decisions. That peace governs your choices. In that place of peace, there is no doubt, no fear, no illusion. There is only the certainty that for all time, in all places, God’s love for you is your peace.
In this place of peace, you cannot make a mistake, no error can stand against you, no battle can be formed. There is but one thing for you to do: to know that in your peace, the light of God shines upon you and lights your way. Why will the daughters not seek the peace? Have you become so attuned to the clamoring of the world that you believe your peace is gone forever? Or is it that the daughters do not trust peace? For in peace there is no conflict, no question, no fear.
Come, daughters, and seek my peace. As I hold you in my arms, there can be no conflict in your heart or mind. There can be no one to please, no roles to fill, no loss to fear. In peace, I gently urge you to choose me over the world; to choose my peace in the place of shame; to choose my peace in lieu of anger; to allow peace to eradicate the lusts of the mind and body.
There is no place I cannot be. Seek me and I will come to bring you the assurances that will ease your mind and open your heart to the abundance of my good. Rest assured that in the peace she offers, the Mother knows her daughters. She will respond if they will but call. She will enlighten them, lift them, heal them, hold them in a state of peace, mercy, and love forever. So, let it be that no daughter who seeks peace and freedom be left unprotected, unguided. Let them know that in the Mother’s heart, there is a jewel of peace waiting to be plucked by the abiding daughters who make peace, above all else, their priority.