Jo couldn’t bear to wear uniform. The very thought of buttoning up her epaulettes triggered another wave of memories of all she’d been through these past few weeks – years even. In any case, her dark trouser suit seemed more appropriate.
Darren parked the car in their reserved space behind St Peter’s Church and, seeing the dozens of mourners, she wiped her reddened eyes. Her heart raced. How the hell was she going to get through today?
The ranks of well-meaning cops, many of whom seemed so edgy they could barely look at her, reminded her of all the people she’d let down and the lives she’d ruined. Christ, none of them would be here if it wasn’t for her single-mindedness. But she was starting to recognise how much of a toll it had taken on her too. Her sessions with the new therapist were helping her to see that. The stresses she worked under weren’t something you could just keep shrugging off. She’d been telling others that for years but never thought to look in the mirror.
She held Darren’s hand. The physical scars from his time in Belmarsh 344Prison were healing but no one could predict what the psychological legacy would be. ‘You OK?’ he said as he squeezed her grip.
‘As much as I can be. You?’
‘Getting there.’
She pecked his cheek and opened the door. Bob and Gary spotted them and were over in a shot. She managed a weak smile and allowed each to give her a brief hug.
‘How are you both?’ said Bob.
‘Yeah, getting there,’ said Jo.
Gary nodded. ‘I’m sorry we weren’t there for you when you needed us.’
‘Don’t worry about it,’ said Jo, with a smile which stopped short of her eyes.
‘Do you want an update?’ said Bob, just as Jo was about to lead Darren towards the church.
She shrugged.
Darren stopped, making Jo do likewise. ‘I do,’ he said.
Jo started to walk away but Darren held her back. ‘Jo, this might help.’
‘Claire Jackson has done a cracking job. What with Sir Ben Parsons and Tony Evans charged, her team have uncovered a huge conspiracy against us. Nicola Merrion, Arjun Sharma the prison bigwig, the policing minister, plus a dozen others, are all on remand.’
Jo nodded and gripped Darren’s hand. ‘I heard Sam Parkin topped himself.’
‘Shame about that,’ said Darren. ‘I’d have loved to have faced him in court.’
‘Yes, the one who got away. Claire’s still looking for the gunman who shot Pete McElroy and Challenor, but I reckon it’s only a matter of time,’ said Bob.
‘Is the ACC coming?’
‘I doubt it,’ said Gary. ‘You have heard about his staff officer, I take it?’ Jo and Darren looked at him blankly. ‘Nicked for leaking info for drugs? No, not heard that? Christ, we need to work on the rumour mill.’ 345
There was an uncomfortable silence. Then Jo whispered, ‘Sorry.’
‘Eh?’ said Gary.
‘I said sorry. Sorry for dragging you all into this. Sorry for everything.’ On the last word, she burst into tears.
Darren wrapped his arms around her and whispered, ‘It’s OK. It’s OK.’
‘When will you be back?’ said Bob. ‘We’re missing you.’
‘I don’t know. I need to be a bit stronger first and get better at looking after myself. I’m making progress, but I want to make sure I don’t come back before I’m one hundred per cent ready. I need to get over this too.’ She looked around her.
‘Oh my God,’ said Gary. ‘Over there.’
They followed his gaze and took in the sight. Saira, with Spanners alongside, was pushing a wheelchair carrying a frail old lady, waving at the crowd like she was royalty. ‘Audrey Parsons? What the hell’s she doing here?’ said Jo.
‘Saira seems to have adopted her, and the old lady heard what happened and wanted to show her respects,’ said Bob.
Darren managed a smile. ‘Well, she’s certainly in her element.’
Jo shook her head. ‘Come on, let’s go and give Scotty the hero’s send-off he deserves – then we’ve an afternoon of soft play mayhem with Ciaran and Liam to brace ourselves for.’