Carrie had had enough. “OK, look you two. I’ve got some idea of what’s going on here, but not a lot, that’s for sure. Then again, I don’t think either of you know much either. You know what? This is really pissing me off, Saz.”
“Carrie, shut up, you’ll hurt your face.”
“Your mate already hurt my face.”
“Then shut up because I don’t want her to hurt Matilda’s face.”
“Look, I’m in some degree of pain here, and I’ve seen enough ER and Casualty to know that if I don’t get my lovely face to a hospital soon, it’s going to take a fuck of a lot longer to heal, possibly leaving me scarred and looking like shit for the rest of my young life. Now, call me selfish if you want, but I really don’t want that. She’s not going to hurt Matilda.”
“I might.”
“She might.”
Saz and Janine spoke at the same time.
“Saz!” Carrie countered. “This is stupid, smacking me round the face like that wasn’t an accident, she chose to pick up the bloody bottle, stop being so fucking understanding.”
Janine looked down at her. “What’s your point?”
“That things get planned. People have ideas, they carry them through. You didn’t even know Saz had a baby, you certainly didn’t come here meaning to hurt Matilda. You meant to hurt Saz when she came to the door. Violence like this doesn’t happen without forethought.”
Saz pictured Ewan’s body, cracked at the bottom of the concrete wall. “Yeah, it does. That’s exactly what happens. It’s almost always without forethought. That’s why it’s so fucking horrible. Surprises are always so shit.”
And as she spoke, Saz was nodding. Because she and Carrie knew what they were both talking about, had used arguing with each other as a distraction before, with Molly, with Carrie’s other lovers, they had shouted at each other when behind the words they were laughing, making plans, thinking something entirely different.
Carrie was still speaking as she leaped up from the floor, “God, Saz, you’re so full of shit sometimes.” Still talking as she grabbed Janine’s arm holding the broken bottle and wrenched it back over Janine’s head. In the same moment Saz crouched down and picked up a stone statue from the fireplace. It was a fat Buddha-shaped woman, heavy and strong in the hips. Carrie had given it to Saz and Molly when they were trying to conceive. She’d said that with belly and thighs that size it just had to be a fertility symbol. Molly had thought it most useful as a doorstop. Saz swung the statue at Janine’s stunned face with one arm and lifted Matilda free with the other. Matilda’s furious scream rang out over the crack of Janine’s jaw.
Saz put out her arm, pushed Janine away, needed her to get away from Matilda, she was still too close, it was all too close. Carrie had hold of Janine’s hand, hurting her. Janine pulled away from her, reached for Saz, twisted herself, and then Carrie wasn’t helping anymore, and she wasn’t in the way anymore, and there was a clear route straight to Saz that Janine was going to take, would take. But Carrie was falling, pulling Janine away from Saz and Matilda and in the fall the broken glass met Carrie’s body again. Pushed through skin into flesh into vein. Deep. Across her neck and skewering fresh scars, open flesh, blood pouring out.
Janine slumped down, knocked out with the smash or pain or exhaustion. Saz held her screaming child close to her and tried to grab Carrie with her other arm, hold her up, keep her going. There was hammering on the back door, Saz was shouting for them to come in, to come in and help, whoever it was, just to fucking well come in and help. Then there were three policemen in the room, Will running in behind them, shouting out, “I told you so, I fucking told you we needed to get here sooner.” Janine was out cold. And Saz in the middle of the room balancing Carrie and her child. Half of her twisting away, holding Matilda as far from the blood as she could, her other arm dragging Carrie into her, pulling her tight, closer. Carrie was crying, hurting. Saz thought she heard her ask for a kiss, for old time’s sake. Carrie’s mouth tasted of blood. Only of blood.
They took Carrie to hospital in the ambulance, sirens screaming. But there wasn’t much point.