EMILY KNEW JOE would have everything under control until she got there. At least as far as the medical emergency went. There were no obvious signs of a scuffle as she followed in their wake to the chief’s house. She hadn’t stumbled over any bodies so she’d take that as a sign he and Peter had either worked things out or chosen to ignore the humiliation they’d all just endured. It was going to take her longer to get over it.
She prayed Joe’s quick actions had covered most of her blushes but it hadn’t been enough to disguise what they’d been up to. Peter definitely would not approve, not because he was a prude, he was an ex-soldier after all, but because she’d chosen his best friend to get over her break-up. At the same time she realised Joe wasn’t something she was willing to give up. Not yet. That time would come soon enough and she didn’t want to miss out on anything he had to offer.
Tonight had only been a taster of what they could have together and not something she would easily forget when her body was still thrumming with sexual awareness. As long as she remembered this wasn’t real, that they were never going to be part of each other’s lives away from here, she shouldn’t have to worry about anything other than enjoying the moment with Joe. Well, apart from her stepbrother walking in on them after passion had taken hold.
A shudder ripped through her. She was an adult, one who’d gone through an acrimonious split from her husband and deserved some fun and excitement in her life. That didn’t mean one frowning look from her stepbrother wouldn’t regress her back to that role of naughty kid sister, even when she hadn’t done anything other than let loose for once. They were going to have to discuss what had happened, what was happening, between her and Joe so she could reassure him she knew what she was doing. Even when it seemed so far removed from her normal behaviour.
Joe and Peter already had proceedings under way when she caught up with them at either side of the patient’s bedside.
‘We thought he’d be more comfortable in my bed and we’ve stripped him down to try and bring down the fever.’ Her stepbrother didn’t waste any time on small talk, which suited her fine. They could discuss personal matters later in private, or not at all—either worked for her.
The small room was cramped with the chief and the three of them crowded inside, so she stood back, trying to remain invisible until she was needed. No such luck when Joe had anything to do with it.
‘I need a thermometer if you have one in there.’
She rummaged around her bag and produced one while he stood with his hand out, waiting, as if he was the lead surgeon and she was the theatre nurse. It wasn’t much of a stretch, she supposed, in this scenario where she was a spectator rather than the one taking readings.
‘You’ve got a temperature of forty degrees, so we really need to get that down. I’ll need plenty of water to keep him hydrated and we could use something to keep him sponged down. It would really help if we could clear as many people out of here as possible. Emily, I’m going to need your help to get this under control.’ The crowd parted like the Red Sea to make a clear path between her and Joe, everyone watching for her reaction. Probably for different reasons.
‘I’ll get the water.’ Peter’s gaze flitted suspiciously between them as though they were trying to engineer another reason to be alone.
He shouldn’t have worried. Emily needed time to process what had taken place tonight before they ended up back in the same scenario. It seemed neither of them were able to control themselves when left to their own devices and as yet she hadn’t decided if that was detrimental to her well-being or not. Physically, there was no doubt they were compatible. It was the more personal aspects of getting involved that caused her concern. Her emotions were still in recovery and she didn’t think they could cope with another mauling, no matter how unintentional.
Eventually Peter made a move towards the door, with the chief soon following behind.
Although it didn’t make the room any less suffocating as she had to face Joe and try not to mention the incredible time they’d had together before fate had intervened.
‘Nete is presenting with fever, along with muscle and joint pain. Did you bring some paracetamol?’ He put her to shame with his thoughts being solely for his patient and not lingering back at their love shack. From here on they were merely medical colleagues working together to treat their patient. Everything beyond that could wait until their patient was back on track.
‘Yes. That should help bring that temperature down too.’ Important in preventing fits and further complications.
‘Can you sit up for me?’ He put a hand on the young man’s back and eased him up from the bed amid a lot of wincing.
Joe gestured for her to stand beside him. It was only then that she noticed the rash dotted across Nete’s flushed skin, little islands of white in a sea of red.
‘Have you been near any stagnant water recently?’
Emily’s mind had instantly gone to all of those childhood illnesses mostly eradicated via the vaccination programme back home, but Joe obviously had different ideas about the source of the rash.
‘I was down by the river a few days ago.’
Joe frowned, clearly disturbed by the information.
She knew herself that areas of stagnant water were a breeding ground for mosquitoes, airborne viruses and bad news.
‘Could you get me the blood-pressure cuff, Emily?’
‘I’m just going to wrap this around your arm,’ she said to Nete. ‘There will be a tightening sensation as we inflate the cuff but there’s no need to panic. It’s just how we test your blood pressure.’ She knew the patient was too lethargic to really pay attention to what they were doing but it was important for her to have a role here and not fall back into the old pattern of feeling surplus to requirements. Joe had specifically asked her to assist him and this kind of emergency was exactly why she was here.
The lines on Joe’s forehead grew deeper with the low reading she recorded. Although low blood pressure could be a sign of good health and fitness in someone of this age, coupled with the other symptoms it could be an indicator of heart or neurological disorders.
Joe loosened the cuff, squinting at the arm beneath as he did so and refastening it. ‘I’m just going to do something called a tourniquet test. This means the cuff will tighten again for a few minutes.’
Emily watched in silence as he inflated it to the midpoint between the systolic and diastolic blood pressures, unease snaking through her body. She’d read up on tropical illnesses before venturing out here to practise and the tourniquet test was used to diagnose something far more serious than gastroenteritis. Dengue fever, also known as break-bone fever because of the associated joint pain. It was no wonder he was whimpering with pain even in his dazed state or that Joe was becoming increasingly concerned.
There was the threat of potentially fatal dengue haemorrhagic fever or dengue shock syndrome, neither of which they were equipped to treat. There was no intensive care unit in which to treat him if he needed it. Neither was there access to laboratory tests to confirm the initial diagnosis, which was why they would have to rely on this tourniquet test. With more than twenty petechial red spots from broken capillary blood vessels visible per square inch of skin, Joe’s hunch was proved right.
There was no part of that diagnosis she found positive. Not only had she missed it, they were going to have a fight on their hands if his condition worsened.
‘Okay, we’ll let you rest again but you’re going to have to sit up and make sure you drink plenty. Emily and I will go and see where Peter got to with that water.’ Joe undid the cuff and tried to make him comfortable again before gesturing for Emily to join him outside.
‘How did you know it was dengue?’ It would probably have been well down her list of possibilities causing the patient so much discomfort and she could’ve wasted precious time in reaching the same diagnosis.
‘I’ve seen it a few times on my travels. It’s a nasty one. The rash and the joint pain are usually the main indicators, along with the more common symptoms.’
‘What’s the best way to approach this?’ She wasn’t afraid to defer to him on this subject since it wasn’t something she’d ever come across before.
‘We need to keep an eye on him through the night in case his condition worsens. For now the paracetamol and tepid sponging should help control the fever at least, and if need be we can hook up an IV to make sure his fluid levels are balanced. We don’t want to give any NSAIDs, such as ibuprofen or aspirin, in case they aggravate the risk of bleeding.’
Peter arrived back to meet them outside the room with the water and cloths. ‘Bad news?’
Their faces must’ve expressed their concerns that a secondary infection could complicate matters beyond their capabilities with the limited medical supplies they had available.
‘Dengue.’ Joe shared their suspicions with Peter, then went back into the house to break it to the rest of the family, leaving her alone with her stepbrother and an awkward silence.
In the end Emily decided in the spirit of her new bolder persona she should be the one to broach the subject causing the tension. Except she didn’t know how to appropriately rephrase, ‘I know you’re mad at me for getting jiggy with your mate but I literally fancy the pants off him.’
‘I really like him. Joe, that is.’ She went with inarticulate phrasing in the end.
Peter screwed his eyes tightly shut as though he was still trying to rid himself of the memory. ‘I think I got that.’
‘I mean, we didn’t plan anything but we’re, er, enjoying each other’s company while we’re here.’ Her cheeks were burning as she tried to explain her outrageous behaviour to her religious sibling.
‘As it was pointed out to me earlier, it’s your life, Emily. But I would hate to see you get hurt. I’ve known Joe a long time. He’s a good guy but he’s not the commitment type. You’ve only just come out of a long-term relationship, your only relationship, and I don’t want you to think he’s the answer to being on your own. He’ll be back on his travels in another couple of weeks.’
‘So will I. You don’t have to worry, I’m going into this with my eyes fully open. I know you’re all loved up with Keresi at the minute, but the last thing I want is to be tied to another man.’ However this progressed she was under no illusion that she was going home as part of a couple. The most this could ever be was a fling, a temporary arrangement, if that’s what they both wanted.
‘It’s that obvious, huh?’ It was refreshing to see her stepbrother take his turn at blushing. This woman clearly meant a lot to him. On the plus side, it took the onus off her and Joe.
‘Well, not in the “found half-naked together” sense of obvious, but, yeah, I can tell. Is it serious?’
‘We’ve been hanging out a lot and, yeah, I think I’m in deep.’ His bashful smile said as much.
Emily gave him a playful punch on the arm, careful not to spill any of the water he was carrying. ‘I’m so happy for you. For us.’ She wanted him to understand they were both where they wanted to be in terms of relationships, or non-relationship in her case. The jury was still out on the official classification of her status.
‘I haven’t decided if I’ll be leaving with you at the end of the month. I might stick around a while longer.’
‘You do whatever feels right. I can always come back and visit when I need a bro-fix.’ She smiled for his benefit, even though her heart broke a little more at the thought of losing him to Yasi permanently. Not that she would begrudge him this island paradise or a chance at happiness. She envied it.
‘I haven’t made any decision yet.’
‘Something tells me you’ll find it hard to leave.’ She knew she would. If she had the choice between her lonely existence, bound by the rules of her position and the confinement of her office, or the freedom to help people out here with Joe by her side, she knew which one she’d take now.
‘All I can do is take each day as it comes.’
‘Is that the island motto or something? They should print that on T-shirts and sell them as souvenirs,’ she said with a touch of bitterness. It was easier to do that when your days weren’t limited to double digits.
He gave a hearty laugh, which did nothing to alleviate this particular case of the green-eyed monster. The clock was ticking on whatever this was with Joe, and she didn’t have the luxury of deciding its fate. Peter didn’t know how lucky he was. For her the dream would all be over too soon.
With the pressure of time weighing heavily on her mind, she thought of her patient, to whom it mattered most tonight. The next hours would be crucial in determining the severity of his illness and how effectively they’d be able to manage it.
‘I should get back to work and take this water in before it reaches room temperature.’
‘I’ll give you a hand.’
True to his word, Peter helped her to get Nete upright and helped him drink the water, while she sponged him down. It wasn’t long before Joe came back to join them and sent at least one temperature in the room soaring back up again.
‘Isn’t there a drug or something we can give him to counteract this?’ Peter quizzed them, as he struggled to keep the lethargic patient upright.
‘If only.’ There was nothing she wanted more than to be able to give this boy a tablet and fix everything that ailed him. That was the kind of medicine she was used to—diagnosis, treatment, cure. Rare illnesses such as dengue weren’t something she came across very often and when they did crop up the patients were invariably referred elsewhere. That wasn’t an option out here. Even if they could get him transported to hospital, the journey alone could kill him. Seeing Nete in pain, following his progress right through, somehow made it real and personal. It was down to her and Joe to get him through this and out the other side.
Joe took another temperature reading and shook his head. ‘There might be one thing we can try...’
As Emily took a peek at the thermometer she knew they needed to try something more than they were already doing. ‘What is it?’
Joe exhaled a hard breath and it was a few heartbeats before he spoke as if he was debating whether or not his idea was even worth sharing. ‘I mean, it’s not scientifically proven or anything but when I was in India I saw them use the juice from papaya leaves to treat dengue.’
‘Papaya leaves?’ Although it wouldn’t do any harm to try, Emily wasn’t convinced that would really make much difference to his condition.
‘I know it sounds ridiculous but I did do some follow up research into the properties of papaya leaves after seeing them used. Apparently they are packed with enzymes that are supposed to help clot the blood and normalise platelet count. It’s worth a shot, right?’ He was the only one offering a blink of hope, no matter how far away it appeared from the current reality of the situation.
‘Definitely, but where do we get them and what do we do with them?’ It was at times like this she missed the luxury of twenty-four-hour supermarkets and smoothie bars. She was too used to the convenience of modern life, and making simple requests like this without them seem impossible.
‘I’m sure someone will know where to find them, then all we have to do is crush them.’ Joe made it sound so simple when it scared Emily to put her faith in anything other than conventional medicine. That was probably the beauty of them working together and combining their so very different experiences.
‘I know where we can find some. I’ll go. I’m sure you can manage without me.’ Peter gave a wry smile as he left on his mission. He clearly wasn’t about to let go of her embarrassment any time soon but a nod and a wink was better than a frowny face and a half-battered Joe.
The patient gave a soft snore, oblivious to events unfolding all around him. They’d let him sleep through the pain until Joe concocted his marvellous medicine. In the meantime, Emily took the small battery-operated fan she kept in her bag and set it by the bed. Every little bit helped.
‘Are things okay with you two, then?’ She figured it was safe to ask now the initial awkwardness appeared to have passed.
‘Yeah. We’re good. You?’
She nodded. They’d known their actions would complicate all manner of things and yet that hadn’t mattered at the time. It shouldn’t matter now either since they’d addressed Peter’s concerns. ‘I can’t say he’s ecstatic about it but he knows where we’re coming from. I think he’s dodging Cupid’s arrows himself at the minute.’
‘I would say that little sucker struck his target long ago.’ Joe’s laugh reached across the bed to her and all the way down to curl her toes. She was already missing that carefree couple of hours they’d had. Who knew when they’d get to spend time together again? Or if it would ever be quite the same now they’d always be on their guard?
‘Well, I hope he didn’t give you too much of a hard time.’
‘Nothing I couldn’t handle,’ he said, with the sexy smile of a man secure in his own skin. He could look after himself but Emily knew he would never have lifted a hand to do anything against his best friend except in defence. Even then, she suspected, he might’ve let Peter vent his anger unchecked if it made him feel better.
‘There wasn’t any blood spilled so I’d call that a win. I wouldn’t want to be the cause of any unpleasantness between you.’ She was fully aware of the special bond they had and, as far as she could see, the only real friend each of them had. It would be selfish of her to think a holiday fling should mean more to Joe than everything he’d gone through with Peter.
Joe carefully laid the cold cloth he was holding across Nete’s forehead and walked around to the side of the bed where she was standing. There was definitely a shift in the atmosphere as he took her hand and turned her to face him, as if by entering her personal space he’d pushed out all the negative space around her and replaced it with crackling sexual energy.
‘For the record, it would’ve been totally worth it.’ His voice was a gravelly aphrodisiac, taking her right back to that moment before Peter had interrupted them. She’d been hovering on the brink of something amazing and she knew she wanted to go back there some time soon once they knew their patient was out of danger.
‘I’m glad you think so.’ Her mouth was suddenly dry and she had to moisten her lips with her tongue before she was able to speak. It hadn’t been intended as a provocative action but she didn’t miss the flare of desire in Joe’s eyes as he watched her. They’d better get a move on with that miracle cure.
‘I know so.’ He dipped his head and left the ghost of a kiss on her lips; too quick to make a solid physical impact but with enough intention to stop her fretting that their time had already passed. There was still hope they could explore this chemistry if and when the opportunity arose again. Despite all the obstacles, Joe still wanted her and that was the best medicine in the world for her.
* * *
Joe hated it that they were pinning everything on this bowl of green mush on his say-so. Perhaps he should have kept it to himself and simply passed this off as an energy drink. That way the consequences of its failure wouldn’t rest entirely on his shoulders. If this didn’t work, the boy’s condition was entirely down to the fates. Best-case scenario, he would recover on his own anyway. Worst-case scenario could lead to organ dysfunction, toxic shock and other life-threatening complications that required hospital intervention. Not two travelling doctors with little more than a first-aid kit.
He crushed the leaves with the wooden pestle and mortar he’d borrowed and ground away his fears before anyone could see them. As he’d watched the medicine men in India do, he squeezed the juice out into a bowl with his bare, clean hands. They didn’t dilute the juice with water or add salt or sugar so neither did he, unwilling to take the chance of reducing its benefits.
‘We need you to sit up and drink this.’
Peter and Emily took one arm each to help Nete sit up while Joe tilted the bowl to his lips for him to sip at. He hadn’t tasted the juice himself but the sight of it and the patient’s puckered mouth told him it didn’t have the sweet, palatable taste of commercial medicines.
It had taken Peter a good couple of hours to source the papaya leaves for him, during which time he and Emily had managed to set aside their unresolved personal feelings for one another and focus on their patient’s recovery. They’d seen a small decrease in his temperature as a result of the course of treatment provided already but not enough to sit back. The fever itself, he knew, could be biphasic, breaking and returning, and any sudden disappearance could be one of the warning signs of dengue haemorrhagic fever, the next critical level of the condition.
‘When will we know if this is working?’ Nete was understandably anxious for an instant cure for his pain but Joe didn’t want to make any definite promises.
‘You’ll have to keep taking the juice at regular intervals through the night, I’m afraid.’ He shot Emily a look of apology too since this was the first time she was hearing the news.
‘We’re all in for a long night by the sound of it.’ Emily threw her hat in the ring to become part of the night watch alongside him.
Peter, on the other hand, already looked dead on his feet after his mad dash across the island, to retrieve the precious foliage. He’d done his part and keeping him here wouldn’t serve any real practical purpose.
‘I think you could use a few hours’ sleep, mate. If you want to grab forty winks while you can, we’ll give you a shout if we need your help.’
‘I’ll be fine,’ Peter protested, blinking his eyes open wide.
‘The last thing we need is to be another man down because you’ve overdone it. Now, take the advice of two doctors and get some sleep. You can take the next shift. Scoot.’ Emily was the one to finally shoo him away so they could concentrate on the one patient they already had.
They’d do that better without the spectre of their indiscretion lingering in the room between them. Peter’s reluctance to leave them alone again was proof enough that he hadn’t got over it yet, even if they’d decided to leave it behind them until they had time and space to deal with it. Or carry on where they’d left off.
When it came to Emily all his common sense seemed to go out of the window and he could no longer predict his own actions from one minute to the next. Ordinarily he thrived on that level of excitement but tonight’s events had shown him just how destructive that lapse in judgement could be. By continuing relations with Emily he was playing a dangerous game but he didn’t think it was one he could quit any time soon.
‘I don’t know how you managed to keep control of an entire regiment. One pig-headed male is more than enough to deal with,’ Emily huffed, as she won the battle of wills and common sense with her stepbrother.
To her it was a throwaway comment more about man’s inability to admit personal weakness, something he knew a lot about. To him, any reference to his role in the military was a stark reminder of all the people he’d let down when they’d needed him most.
‘I’m not sure I did.’
‘There’s no need for modesty. I’m sure you saved the lives of countless men on the front line and I know you pulled Peter out of a few tight spots.’
The patient was sleeping soundly now between them, dosed with papaya leaf juice and paracetamol and as cool as they could get him for now, so Joe stepped back from the bed for a little more space. He took a seat on the floor in the corner of the room and sipped at the cool water the chief had provided for them. Unfortunately, Emily followed him, apparently determined to carry on this conversation.
He’d probably played a part in saving lives in close-quarter combat. There were fleeting memories of bullet-ridden and shattered men he’d patched up and sent back in Chinooks to the base hospital, who he knew had later recovered from their injuries, but those faded against the vivid images of the last ambush he’d been caught up in. He’d had to rely on the expertise of other medical personnel through that one when he’d become one of the casualties instead of being the one helping them.
‘I did what I had to.’ Mostly.
He took another sip of water, even the thought of the desert heat and that feeling of powerlessness making his mouth dry. Emily was oblivious to his discomfort, leaning forward, her head resting on her chin, listening intently as though he was telling her a bedtime story and not recounting the horrors of war.
‘Do you miss it? I mean, I know Peter found it hard to adjust to civilian life again. I imagine it must be harder still if you were battling to save lives every day and suddenly no longer practising medicine. That must have been a huge departure for you.’
‘It wasn’t my choice.’ The injustice of the situation forced its way to his lips before he could stop the words forming.
Emily cocked her head to one side, no doubt waiting for an explanation. He sighed, resigned to the fact he was going to have to reveal his biggest shame. Worse than that, he’d have to watch her reaction to it. Details of his hearing loss weren’t something he often discussed. Generally he didn’t stay in company long enough for it to become apparent. Asking people to repeat themselves, or missing snippets of conversation altogether, only became an issue if it was an ongoing problem. He didn’t see the need to highlight his weakness and face more discrimination, decisions made on his behalf because of a perceived disability. The only reason he was considering telling her about it now was because she’d been brave enough to face her demons in his presence. Now it was his turn.
He took a deep breath.
‘I had to take medical retirement after the IED that killed Batesy and Ste.’ He debated whether or not to go as far as spilling his guts over the guilt he felt over the incident but decided against it. No one would ever understand how much his failing had affected him, still affected him, and he didn’t expect them to. That was his own personal wallowing pool.
When Emily didn’t launch into her usual line of questioning, which he’d expected to draw the information out gradually, he was forced to elaborate.
‘The explosion damaged my hearing and the army decided they didn’t want to take the chance of having a partially deaf soldier on the front line who couldn’t hear the enemy coming.’ The irony was that it was the stealth of the insurgents that had done the damage in the first place.
‘Couldn’t you have continued your medical expertise in one of the hospitals or in some sort of training capacity?’
There had been no gasp of shock as he broke the news. Although he wasn’t looking for sympathy, he had expected some sort of emotional reaction. Here he was, spilling a secret so easily to her that usually only came out when circumstances forced it from him, and she was treating it as a minor ailment that could’ve been remedied with some paperwork shuffling. She should’ve understood how great the loss of his career had been when she was so tied to her own. If it wasn’t for her own medical expertise keeping her afloat in the aftermath of her marriage she might have felt just as lost as he had when he’d first left the army.
‘I was a soldier as well as a medic. I belonged in the field, not cooped up in some safe place while the rest of my colleagues were risking their lives. That blast stole my career from me and left me half the man I used to be.’ There, he’d spelled it out to her in case she was missing the bit about him essentially being worthless to the army.
‘It may have felt like that at the time but you’re so much more than the army. You’ve proved that with the work you’ve done here, and everywhere else on your travels.’
Joe wasn’t sure if he imagined her flinching at the picture he’d painted since she spoke so coolly. Too coolly. Too precisely. Now he thought about it, he hadn’t once had to ask her to repeat herself or speak up since they’d first met. She always spoke clearly, facing him, so he could read her lips, even if he couldn’t hear her every word.
‘You already knew.’ The realisation hit him hard. All this time he’d been trying to impress her and she’d probably been aware of his inadequacy all along.
‘Sorry?’
‘Peter told you why I had to leave the army?’
The blush gave her away even before she confirmed his hunch. ‘Only because I thought you were being rude by ignoring me.’
‘I get that a lot.’ He managed a half-smile at the thought of how riled she must’ve been at him for Peter to have told her. It was some consolation he hadn’t simply been the subject of gossip between them but telling Emily was a big deal for him. It should have been his decision, his privilege to tell her.
‘I think that makes us even. My secret for yours.’ Emily nudged him, trying to make light of the moment.
It would be easy for him to lose his rag and tell her it was none of her business but she wasn’t to blame for his inability to deal with this. No one was, not even Peter. He couldn’t hide away from his hearing issue for ever and if he took a leaf out of her book he’d front it out and people would simply have to accept it. The strength of her courage became even more apparent when he thought of shining a spotlight on his insecurity for the whole world to see. Still, he’d share details of his deafness before he’d let anyone in on the events of that fateful day and his responsibility for it.
‘How about a pact never to mention either?’
‘Done.’
‘And in answer to your original question, yes, I do miss it. Not the heat or the injuries my friends suffered, but the excitement and that sense of belonging. I had a role, a reason to be.’ He shut his mouth before he said anything more. It wasn’t in his nature to take a dip in self-pity, and especially not with spectators. Coming across as a sad sack certainly wasn’t going to improve his chances of finishing what he’d started with Emily tonight. He was supposed to be the fun, uncomplicated side of this partnership. A traumatised ex-vet who needed sex to justify his existence probably wouldn’t seem as attractive.
‘You have a role out here. You’re needed here. But I guess that’s why you don’t stick around. It never gets dull for you if you’re always moving from one place to another.’ Emily hugged her knees against her chest as she psychoanalysed him. Joe guessed she found that harder to understand than him hiding his disability when stability and security seemed to be what she craved most in her life. Things she would never find with him.
‘Exactly. New places, new people get the adrenaline pumping for me.’ The closest he came to that without leaving the island was when he and Emily were alone together. That was when he felt most alive, most validated as a person.
Once she left Yasi there would be absolutely no reason for him to stick around.