JOE SWUNG THE axe and brought it crashing down to split the timber in two. It was a powerful blow designed to be effective both physically and mentally. He’d needed to be in the company of men, doing manly things. Not more hand-holding and making memories with his pretty co-worker. It was all very well making sure they were in a public place but it kind of defeated the object of avoiding close contact if he couldn’t leave her side.
He’d been carried away with the whole tour-guide demonstration with the masi process because she’d been so open to it. A complete attitude turnaround since the kava ceremony and he hadn’t been able to resist capitalising on her new willingness to participate in the local culture. It wasn’t often he got to share new experiences with anyone and showing her how to paint the mats had given him the same buzz as when he’d tried it for the first time.
So engrossed in that moment of her new discovery, he’d forgotten the reasons they were there in the first place. Patients. Work. Education. Definitely not taking part in couples’ activities as if they were at a holiday camp together. He’d remembered that too late—after the touching and the quickening pulse as he’d leaned too close to the flame.
He’d made a bolt for it in an attempt to direct the adrenaline coursing through his body toward something more practical than neck-kissing his colleague in public. The sculptors had given him the job of sanding the wooden bowls they sold for mixing kava but the smooth, silky texture hadn’t really detracted his thoughts away from Emily’s skin beneath his touch. So he’d moved on to the more demanding task of preparing the raw material for them in the hope he’d be too exhausted to keep thinking about her. It clearly hadn’t worked.
His time hadn’t totally been wasted as he’d persuaded a few of the men to stop by the clinic before the end of the week for blood-pressure checks and a general ‘MOT’. If Emily had stuck to the plan she’d have a few more recruits on her side too.
‘I think we have enough now, Joe, and the light’s starting to fade.’ Tomasi, Sou’s other half, was the one to finally call time.
Joe had been concentrating so hard on making sure he chopped the wood in half and not his foot, he hadn’t noticed the sun beginning to set. In the name of health and safety he would have to call it a day. Besides, they had enough wood stacked now to last for weeks.
‘I guess I was enjoying my workout too much.’ He snatched up his shirt from the top of the wood pile where he’d thrown it after working up a sweat.
‘Sou says we’re welcome to stay for dinner...’
Joe glanced up as Emily’s voice trailed off at the doorway to find her staring again, her mouth open but no further words forthcoming. Her eyes travelled up and down his body without ever reaching his. There was no other word for it. She was ogling him.
He made a bigger deal of unfolding his shirt and pulling it over his head than he really needed to, giving her more time to look. No woman had stared at him with such naked desire since the explosion, or if they had he hadn’t noticed or found it quite so enjoyable.
He’d flirted and slept with women since leaving the army but a part of his male pride had died along with all his other losses. Although it was only his hearing that had been damaged in the blast he’d stopped thinking of himself as a ‘whole’ man. With Emily watching him dress as though he could’ve been the world’s sexiest male model instead of a disabled ex-soldier, he made the most of every second of it. She was a doctor who’d probably seen better bodies than his over the space of her career but her apparent fascination was proof this attraction wasn’t one-sided. Not that he knew what he should do about that, if anything, when it would only complicate everything.
‘Sou has...er...invited us inside for a bite to eat.’ Emily slowly came out of her trance now that those hypnotic abs of steel had been hidden from view. Thanks to the T-shirt’s shield of invisibility, his hold on her was temporarily suspended. She pretended she was squinting into the semi-darkness, trying to see him, rather than getting her rocks off staring at him half-naked.
‘Is that what you want to do?’
Damn him, he’d deployed that adorable smile to disguise his dirty tactics. He was forcing her to make the decision.
‘It would be rude not to.’ She’d spent the past couple of hours in their company, being part of their group, as Joe had done with the men. It wouldn’t be right to shun their invitation now, especially when she had nothing to rush back to. Unlike her real life, she wasn’t planning her evening to catch up on paperwork or binge-watch episodes of her favourite TV shows.
Dinner with friendly islanders and a hunky ex-serviceman could be the most exotic meal she’d ever have in her life.
Take that, boring old Emily Clifford!
* * *
It turned out to be every bit as extraordinary as she’d imagined. The men and women all gathered inside Sou and Tomasi’s house and took up their places on the floor mats. The women had put together a feast while Emily had finished up her painting and Joe had been flexing his muscles outside. Although she remained wary about the contents of the dishes laid before her, she had Joe on hand to sample the menu for her first.
With no cutlery available she had no choice but to follow suit and eat with her hands. She chose a pork dish and something delicious called palusami, which Joe explained was spinach prepared in coconut cream, and washed it down with a cup of black tea. With her belly full she realised she was getting the hang of this immersion into Yasi society. The only times her nerves had bunched together to remind her this wasn’t the norm for her had been when Joe had brushed against her and made her tingle with sexual awareness.
It was a blessing the others hadn’t continued with their teasing because she was pretty sure she was doing a bang-up job of making a fool of herself without their help. She’d been positively drooling as she’d watched his topless axe work and tensed every time he leaned in to explain the menu to her, like some virgin schoolgirl with a crush on her teacher. Her emotions had been stretched to every conceivable extreme today and although she was glad to end it in such good company, the walk home was playing on her mind. Their last one had ended in that kiss and she was so tightly wound after this evening she might explode if she didn’t get the release she’d been craving since his lips had first touched hers.
‘Don’t forget to take your masi with you.’ Sou presented her with the finished mat, which already held so many memories for her, when she stood to leave.
‘Thank you. That’s so kind of you.’ They’d spent hours working on it. Time that should have been channelled into their livelihood. It was a wonderful gesture that choked her up even though she should expect this level of kindness by now.
‘A souvenir of your time here.’
Emily didn’t miss Sou’s gaze flicker between her and Joe, a silent insistence she attributed significance to all of tonight’s events.
‘I’ll cherish the memories of everyone here,’ she assured her with a wry smile. Tonight wouldn’t easily be forgotten, with or without the satisfactory conclusion of a second, perhaps more passionate lip-lock.
Emily retrieved her long-forgotten medical bag from the corner of the room. If today had taught her anything apart from her apparent weakness for muscular medics, it was that an office and an appointment book was no substitute for getting out and experiencing life. It was no wonder Greg had grown tired of her if this was what he’d been doing while she’d remained stagnant.
After all the sweetness she’d tasted today, the thought that her inability to spread her wings beyond her own living room had killed her marriage left a sour taste in her mouth. The only consolation she had was that wherever Greg was, whatever he was doing, it couldn’t compare with her current adventure.
‘Is everything all right, Emily? I know you didn’t particularly want to leave the clinic but, honestly, we’d have heard about any emergency.’ Joe’s concern as they waved their goodbyes reinforced the idea she spoiled everyone’s fun by always playing by the rules.
She’d gambled a few times over this last couple of days and the world hadn’t stopped turning because she’d swapped her sensible shoes for some frivolous flip-flops. Far from creating a catastrophic shift in the universe, these spontaneous acts had added a new, fun dimension to her existence.
Each new accepted challenge had enriched her time here with new friends, new skills and tastes, and the new memories were starting to dim the unpleasant ones she’d accumulated recently. One of which topped them all. Every time Greg’s cruel words came back to haunt her she’d replace the image of his mouth curled in a sneer as he turned her heart inside out with one of Joe. His lips soft and tender on hers and leaving her fuzzy inside instead of cold.
She sighed. ‘It’s not that. I just couldn’t help thinking that perhaps if I’d been a different woman then, this woman, perhaps Greg wouldn’t have left me for someone else.’
Joe frowned at her with a scorn she hadn’t expected after their evening playing nice. ‘Is that what you want? To waste your life on someone who doesn’t appreciate you for who you are? Did you ever think that he should’ve been a different man, a better husband, someone you weren’t afraid to try new things with?’
Someone like Joe.
She’d never considered that take on the situation and had simply accepted the blame for the breakdown in their relationship as she had when her mother had left. Neither had wanted to be with her any more and since she had been the common denominator it was logical to assume she had been the root cause. They had wanted her to be someone else to suit their needs but she hadn’t found that out until it was too late.
The truth was she couldn’t pinpoint one specific reason why Greg had cheated on her and effectively ended their marriage. Yes, he’d said she was boring but she’d been the same woman he’d married. She hadn’t changed, he had. One morning he’d simply woken up and decided he could do better. He’d simply grown tired of her and decided he no longer wanted her in his life. That thought had kept her awake and tearful for a long time. It didn’t do a lot for a girl who was faced with her own faults in the mirror every single morning. She didn’t want to hold on to that negativity any more.
‘No.’ To all of it. Including Greg.
‘Good.’ Joe took the mat and helped share her load.
She’d been clinging to the idea of marriage, not the realities of it. Working long days and being expected to have dinner waiting for her husband the minute he walked through the door had been a juggling act. In order to be the perfect wife she hadn’t even confronted him on those times he’d arrived home late without an explanation, food ruined and a complete waste of her time cooking it. After the shock of his infidelity those overrunning meetings and last-minute business trips had taken on a sinister new meaning. She’d taken his word his absences were work-related, too trusting to even contemplate it was all lies to cover his dalliances with another woman. Or women. Her trust had been shattered to the point she’d no longer known who it was she’d married.
She’d never forgive him for what he’d put her through, regardless of how much he’d insisted it was her fault he’d chased excitement elsewhere. A marriage was supposed to be a partnership based on love, trust and communication. None of which it turned out they’d had. He hadn’t even given her the chance to fix anything when he’d ditched her rather than discuss their problems like a normal couple. Although it hadn’t seemed like it up until now, being on her own was probably better than going through the motions of a sham marriage. It had only taken some good company and straight talking for her to finally see that.
She didn’t want to waste another second on regrets. That included not acting on the sexual chemistry between her and Joe. Not that she was intending to seduce him or anything, that would be a step too far, but even initiating another kiss seemed such a thrilling prospect it was all she could think about. The spectre of rejection always haunted her actions but he’d kissed her first, looked at her the way she’d lusted after him and lessened the chances he’d spurn her. It was the next big step in becoming Emily Jackson again.
Except she’d spent so long overthinking how she should approach this they were almost back at her door. So much for being spontaneous. She’d never learned how to flirt, had never had reason to. The ugly duckling would’ve been laughed out of high school if she’d even attempted it and it had been Greg who’d done all the running after they’d first met. She tried to convince herself this was only carrying on from where they’d left things last night when Joe had started this chain reaction inside her. He’d lit the fuse so he’d have to take responsibility for the fallout.
‘I had a good time today.’ She stopped short of Miriama’s house so they weren’t under the porch light and reduced the pressure to make something happen there and then.
‘Me too.’ Joe’s bright smile lit up the semi-darkness and took the chill off the evening air.
She reached out to take the mat from him and Joe brushed his thumb along her fingers in the handover. The only sound she could hear was her own breathing as he watched her intently with no sign of backing away. It was now or never. She swallowed hard as she took a step closer to him.
They were both holding onto the mat as she closed her eyes and offered her lips up to his.
For a heart-stopping moment there was only cold air to meet her. Then the weight of his mouth was on hers, accepting her, loving her and bringing her almost to tears with relief. Each caress of her lips, every flick of his tongue to match hers made her confidence stronger and her body weaker. She’d taken a gamble and this was her reward. In future she’d remember how utterly satisfying, and hot, victory tasted.
It was a triumph over her anxieties, her fears and, above all, her old self. This was anything but boring, as her fevered skin would testify.
‘I don’t want this.’
Her new fairy wings disappeared and left her plummeting back down to earth as Joe did the one thing she’d feared from the start.
‘I, I...’ She didn’t know whether to apologise or say goodnight but either would be better than dissolving into a puddle of tears, which was exactly what she wanted to do. Her determination to prove she was still attractive to someone, that she could change, had obviously built this up into something Joe hadn’t been expecting. The celebrations heralding the brave new Emily had been premature. Nobody wanted her either. The difference was she would no longer let other people’s opinions define her.
Joe wanted Emily more than anything else in the world right now. That was the problem. It was one thing for him to snatch a kiss from her and walk away but quite another for her to initiate one. Double standards for sure but what was a moment of madness for him could mean something entirely different for her. They were already too close when every attempt to create some distance between them only succeeded in them spending more time together. To what end? She wasn’t going to find peace with him when he couldn’t find his own.
‘Okay, I do want this, there’s no point in denying it.’ Not when he could see how much hurt he was causing her by doing so. That tilt of the chin didn’t fool him when she was clutching her medical bag like a security blanket and her eyes were glassy with tears.
‘So why do it? Why keep pretending there isn’t something more than my brother or work binding us together?’
He admired her strong stance, facing him out over his cowardice despite her wobbly voice. She deserved the truth. He dug his nails into his palms to stop from reaching out to her. This was exactly why he should have avoided kissing her in the first place.
‘I’ve told you, I’m not boyfriend material. You’ll end up just another holiday memory when I move on and after everything you’ve been through you need more than that. I don’t want the level of responsibility that comes with being the rebound guy. I’m not going to be the one to restore your faith in men or be your emotional crutch until you’re over Greg, and I won’t pretend to be.’ Cards on the table, he braced himself for her reaction. He doubted any woman wanted to be told the man they were kissing was emotionally unavailable, and since he hadn’t found it in himself to walk away he was counting on her to make that call.
Emily closed the gap he’d created between them. ‘I don’t remember saying I wanted any of those things from you but thank you for your honesty. I guess we both know where we stand.’
Too close for him to think straight. Alarm bells were ringing in his head with her breathy acceptance of his terms but it was no longer his head he was listening to.
‘I don’t want this,’ he repeated, even as his lips inched towards hers.
‘Neither do I.’
Their mouths collided in a crushing kiss as if they were trying to exorcise this need for one another. The very opposite happened to him as his brain short-circuited and erased the reason he shouldn’t do this. Something about him being an idiot and Emily accepting it.
The medical bag and mat fell in the dirt as they clung to each other tighter, her hands around his neck, his around her waist, their legs entwined as they tied themselves into a love pretzel, obliterating all pretence for good.
There was so much fire as she came back time and time again for more, exploring him with her tongue, her passion took him completely by surprise. This naked display of desire for him from a woman who worried about every move she made was such an aphrodisiac his body was already racing on to the next stage. Neither of them were ready for that. At least, not here, not now.
He loosened his hold and gradually let the intensity of the embrace subside. Eventually he had to break free before the most demanding part of his anatomy wrestled sole charge of the situation.
‘Glad we got that sorted. It stops any future misunderstanding.’ The only way he could survive this was to make a joke of it and diffuse the crackling sexual tension for the moment. Neither of them wanted this but it was happening and there was clearly no escape from it on this tiny island.
‘Yeah. We wouldn’t want things getting awkward at work.’ Emily teased him back but she was already collecting her things from the ground, the moment over.
‘Goodnight, Emily.’ He kissed her on the cheek, avoiding her lips in case his chivalry died altogether.
‘Goodnight, Joe,’ she whispered directly into his ear.
Even if he hadn’t heard it, the deliberately provocative breathy goodbye would still have had the same effect on his libido. Deadly.
This surge in Emily’s confidence had the potential to be one of the greatest challenges of his life if he kept resisting his natural response to her. If she was really the sort of girl who could hook up with a stranger on a whim they’d have got it on as soon as she’d set foot on the beach. The attraction had been there from the start. She’d had no more casual flings than he’d had ex-wives. They were completely incompatible. Except where it counted.
He was a thrill-seeker because he needed that reminder he was still alive, and his life hadn’t ended in that blast. There’d been no greater example of that than when he’d had Emily in his arms, his heartbeat thundering in his ears as she’d kissed him.
It would be madness to carry on with this reckless attraction, let it develop beyond stolen kisses in the moonlight and risk anyone getting hurt. Then again, he was an adrenaline junkie. Playing it safe simply wasn’t his style and, it would seem, no longer Emily’s.