Chapter Sixteen
Jeremiah’s heart went out to the young woman who wept beside him. Because no one else was around, he dared to slip his arm around her. “Shall we talk about this inside?” he asked gently. “I know you won’t want the men to see you this way when they arrive.”
Head hung low, Lydianne preceded him into the white schoolhouse. When he’d closed the door, however, she turned and clung to him like a frightened child. “But—but what if we don’t find her?” she cried inconsolably. “Or what if she’s hurt, and she can’t call out to the men who’re searching for her?”
He allowed himself a few moments to hold her, savoring her nearness despite the agony she was putting herself through. “We’ll find her, sweetheart,” he murmured. “Little girls don’t just disappear into thin air. And even the best teachers slip up now and again because they’re human, Lydianne.”
“That’s no excuse!” she protested, gazing at him through her tears.
His heart stilled. She looked so small and vulnerable, so fearful for the fate of her student—and so determined to torture herself. “You heard what the others said, Lydianne,” he continued softly. “The kids—even your older girls, who are very watchful—didn’t realize Ella had slipped off, either. It sounds like she’s had some practice at leaving the scene without her parents being the wiser, too.”
“But I’m the teacher, so I’m responsible—”
“Jah, you are, honey. You’re one of the most responsible people I know,” Jeremiah insisted, framing her blotchy face between his hands. “That’s why you rang the bell and organized the kids into search teams instead of going into a panic. When you realized something was wrong, you did all the right things. Nobody can do any more than that, Lydianne.”
Jeremiah was thankful that she was settling down, because if she’d kept on weeping, it would’ve undone him. This wasn’t the time to discuss the stress she’d been under lately—especially the scenes Detweiler had caused at the picnic and the Flaud wedding. Nor was it a good idea to mention that her beautiful blue eyes had been underscored with dark circles lately.
If he gave Lydianne something constructive to focus on, they’d both be better off. It would not be wise to let the men catch him holding her.
“How about if you go splash some water on your face and pull yourself together?” he suggested gently. “Is it all right if I erase what you’ve written on the board? I’d like to sketch a rough map of the area so that, as the men start searching, we can keep track of the areas we’ve covered.”
Lydianne nodded, exhaling wearily. “Denki for your patience. I’ll be back in a few.”
As she went out to the restroom, Jeremiah followed her progress through the window and noticed that the sun was nearly down. Even so, the schoolroom was still so warm he rolled up the sleeves of his shirt. He hoped the unseasonable heat would be an advantage if their search lasted into the night.
God, please guide Ella to safety, and help the searchers find her quickly. If she’s indeed lost, she’s terrified. The darkness and chilly evening temperatures will only make things worse for her. And while You’re at it, please be with Lydianne. She’s not nearly finished tormenting herself over this ordeal.
As he erased the day’s math problems, which were neatly arranged and color-coded for each grade level, he marveled at Teacher Lydianne’s precise handwriting. Her classroom chore chart made him smile, too. And the entire wall that was covered with a colorful poster depicting the story of Noah’s ark, along with the clay animals and model of the ark beneath it, displayed an amazing amount of class cooperation and teamwork. He envied the kids who spent their days in this vibrant, exciting schoolroom with Teacher Lydianne.
Get your mind off the teacher and sketch the map, Shetler.
He drew parallel lines to represent the county highway, and then sketched the schoolhouse to the left of it. By the time Lydianne returned, Jeremiah had added The Marketplace, Saul’s carriage factory, and the main fences that designated property boundaries, as well as the nearby woods.
“Should I include the farms on the other side of the highway, and the business district?” he asked softly. “I hate to think of Ella crossing all those streets, little as she is.”
“So do I,” Lydianne said as she checked the clock above the door. “But considering she’s been gone for nearly four hours, who knows how far she could’ve gone? Or in which direction?”
He was pleased to hear the rational tone of her voice. The skin around her eyes was still puffy, but she had her emotions under control. “And who knows what gave her the notion to leave?” Jeremiah mused aloud. He began to sketch the streets of the business district and the farms beyond that. “A bright child’s mind runs at the speed of imagination, and to a six-year-old, each new thing she sees is a springboard to adventure. We can at least be certain that Ella was not running away from school.”
“Jah, she loves to learn,” Lydianne said with a fragile smile. “Ella’s like a sponge that soaks up every drop of knowledge—and then she can’t wait to know more. She’s a—a joy to teach. If I let her work ahead as fast as she’s able to grasp the material, she could easily be ready to start second grade by Christmas and then catch up to Billy Jay.”
Jeremiah’s eyes widened. “Do you think that’s a gut idea? Down the road, it would mean she’d graduate from school earlier—at thirteen or even twelve, if she keeps skipping ahead.”
“Ja"h, it would have some definite social disadvantages,” Lydianne put in with a pensive sigh. “We don’t encourage our students—especially our girls—to academically outdistance the other kids their age. But I hate to hold Ella back or let her get bored. I’ve been praying on it.”
“Always the best avenue to take, along with conferring with her parents. There,” Jeremiah added as he made a few final marker strokes. “I hope we don’t have to search all of this area, but we can’t make any assumptions about how far Ella’s walked—or where she might’ve sat down to wait for someone to find her.”
He replaced the cap on his marker, holding Lydianne’s gaze. “Is this a gut time to talk about why you’ve looked so troubled lately? Or shall we wait until Ella’s back?”
Lydianne swallowed hard. As she went to the window to see whether any of the men might be approaching the schoolhouse, Jeremiah wondered if he might’ve contributed to the cloud of anxiety and exhaustion that hovered around her. He could certainly vouch for a number of evenings when Lydianne had cost him a good night’s sleep—but he’d brought that on himself. He couldn’t blame her simply because she was alluring and had a pleasing personality and enough confidence to hold her own as a bishops’s wife—
“Maybe it’s time I gave up spending my Saturdays at The Marketplace,” Lydianne confessed with a sigh. “Some days I meet myself coming and going. I feel I’m never getting enough done—”
“That comes with being a first-year teacher, I suspect,” Jeremiah put in. “You don’t have prepared lessons to fall back on. And even though we only have eight scholars right now, it’s surely a challenge to stay a few steps ahead of each and every one of them. I’m impressed that you’ve already pegged Ella as a student who could advance so quickly.”
Lydianne’s tender smile made his chest flutter. Would there ever come a day when she took on such a glow when she was thinking about him?
“Oh, Gracie’s plenty smart, too. But she’s not as curious, and not as willing to apply herself to subjects that don’t interest her—like learning her math facts,” she added with a wry smile. “Ella’s conquered basic addition and subtraction, and sometimes after she’s finished the first-grade problems on the board, she also does Billy Jay’s math assignment. If someone taught her about carrying and borrowing, she could tackle three- and four-column addition and subtraction.”
Jeremiah’s eyebrows rose. “I suspected that Julia worked with her at home, but I had no idea Ella was picking things up that fast.”
“But she’s still just a wee girl, and she must be frightened out of her mind if she’s been wandering lost all this time.” Lydianne looked ready to cry again as she gazed out the window. “Here come the Flauds. Ella’s not with them.”
Gabe and Martin were the first in a parade of men sent out to search an area on the map that Jeremiah assigned them. Glenn and Jude had joined the effort, and so had Preachers Ammon and Clarence, all of them carrying kerosene lanterns. Saul and Tim bore determined expressions as they, too, chose another area across the highway to continue looking. A group of Saul’s employees were combing Morning Star’s business district after a search of the area around the carriage factory had proven futile.
After he’d dispatched the last of the Hartzler employees and marked the areas they were searching on his map, Jeremiah gazed at Lydianne. “Will you be all right here if I go out and join the search? I feel I could be doing more to—”
“Well, so do I!” Lydianne blurted. “This waiting around—not knowing what’s happened to Ella—well, it’s driving me crazy. Maybe I should brew some coffee in one of the big coffeemakers at The Marketplace for the men to drink, or—”
“Great idea,” Jeremiah assured her. The tone of her response told him Lydianne would probably come unraveled if he left her here by herself. “I’ll go into town and get us something to eat, and pick up some snacks for the men, to go with your coffee. We will find Ella,” he added as he squeezed her shoulder. “At least it’s staying really warm. By now, she’s probably found a place to rest—in someone’s stable, or maybe even in a home—which will make it harder for our searchers to spot her.”
Unfortunately, his last remark made Lydianne’s face pucker again. She fought back her tears, however. “All right, I’m going over to make that coffee,” she said in a strained voice. “You’re right. Somebody has to stay here in case we get word of where Ella is, and to keep track of what areas haven’t yet been searched. Leave a note on the board saying I’ll be back in a few—and I’ll see you later, Jeremiah. I have a feeling we’re in for a long night.”
The weary, frightened expression on Lydianne’s pale face did nothing to quell his own concerns about how the search was going. She looked small and done in as she fished her keys from her purse and walked toward the big stable that housed The Marketplace. As he swung up onto Mitch’s back and rode toward town on this moonless evening, Jeremiah sent up more prayers for Ella and for the search party.
Guide us toward Your little lost lamb, Lord. And hold Lydianne close as this difficult night plays upon her worst-case assumptions.
* * *
As the water heated and the coffee brewed, its gurgling reminded Lydianne of a hungry stomach—and how long it had been since she’d eaten her meager lunch. But she had no appetite.
What kind of mother doesn’t know when her child goes missing? Ella’s probably lost in the dark, frightened out of her mind—because her own mother wasn’t paying attention. What if she fell and hit her head? How will I ever live with myself if my little girl—Aden’s daughter, and the Nissleys’—doesn’t come out of this nightmare alive?
She hugged herself hard as she paced the area around The Marketplace’s refreshment area, trying to hold body and soul together. When the coffee finished perking, she filled several thermal carafes and loaded them into a handcart along with some coffee cups. Setting up a serving area on a table in the back of the classroom gave her something to focus on, but the minutes still stretched like hours before Jude and Glenn grimly reported back for a new search assignment and left again.
She sighed as she watched the darkness swallow them. Glenn had barely made eye contact with her. Lydianne felt bad about that, yet maybe he’d finally gotten the message that she didn’t want to socialize with him.
What would he say if he found out Ella was my daughter? What would any of these men say if they knew they were out searching for my secret baby?
Lydianne was pretty sure the answer to that question would lead to the loss of her job—but before she could sink deeper into her pit of mental despair, she heard a horse approaching. A few moments later, Bishop Jeremiah’s hopeful smile fell a notch when he stepped inside and saw that Ella wasn’t with her. He tried to keep his words upbeat.
“Brought us some sandwiches and bags of snacks from the convenience store on the highway,” he said as he set a large paper bag on the table near the carafes. “Not a feast, but at this hour it was the only place open. I also stopped by the Nissley place, to see if Ella had found her way home. Julia’s holding up pretty well, but she said she’d leave a note on their door and come to sit with you.”
Although her heart was grateful for the bishop’s kindness, Lydianne’s mind balked at the idea that Jeremiah believed she needed a keeper . . . especially if that keeper was Ella’s adoptive mamm. “I suppose it’s a gut idea for her to keep me company so you can join the search, if you’d like to,” she murmured.
“No sense in both of you gals fretting alone when you could commiserate together,” he agreed with a gentle smile. “I’ll go as soon as we’ve eaten. That way, I’ll know you ate something. We can’t have you falling ill on top of being worn thin from this ordeal, honey.”
Lydianne’s heart wanted so badly to accept Jeremiah’s kindness—not to mention his affection for her. Rather than saying anything to encourage him, however, she dutifully sat down at one of the older scholars’ desks and took a bite of the warm ham and cheese sandwich he’d brought her.
About halfway through their makeshift meal, she heard buggies approaching.
“Still no sign of our girl?” Preacher Ammon asked as he entered the schoolroom.
Lydianne shook her head dejectedly. She let Jeremiah chat with Ammon and Clarence about where to look next, glancing at the clock above the doorway.
Ten-twenty. Far too late for a first-grade girl to be unaccounted for. My little daughter should be snug in bed, secure in her mother’s love—but I failed her. Maybe God has taken her away from me because I obviously can’t take care of her.
She shook her head to free it of this thought, which cut her like barbed wire. Then Julia Nissley came through the door. Instantly, Lydianne rose from the desk to embrace the tearful mother who was raising Ella. Julia clutched her tightly.
“I am so sorry I wasn’t paying attention at recess,” Lydianne sobbed.
“I’m so sorry Ella’s putting you through this,” Julia insisted at the same time. “She should’ve asked you—we’ve tried to tell her—”
As the two of them looked at one another, Lydianne was again amazed by the lack of blame in Julia’s gaze and words—the same acceptance and forgiveness she’d experienced when Tim had joined the search party. These young parents had to feel as worried and frightened as she did, yet they displayed no ill will toward her.
If you knew the truth about Ella—and me—you wouldn’t behave so graciously.
Lydianne busied herself offering coffee as more men came in. She took comfort in the confident way Jeremiah spoke as he directed the groups of men toward areas that hadn’t yet been searched.
When the searchers had left again, Jeremiah hastily finished his sandwich and wadded the sack into a tight, wrinkled ball. “I’m going out there to look for her,” he said wearily. “We can’t give up until we find her, and the more men we have on the lookout, the better our chances are.”
“Well, if anyone has an in with God about where my little girl might be, it would be you, Bishop,” Julia remarked, smiling through her tears. “Our prayers go with you. We have to keep believing she’s found a safe place, or that someone will eventually find her and bring her home.”
Jeremiah nodded. As he stepped out into the unfathomable darkness, Lydianne sensed—no matter what the bishop and Ella’s mamm said—that they were all facing the longest night of their lifetimes.