Nicole, Paul, and Shelley crossed the cemetery grounds. Jordan trotted alongside Paul. Shelley held Jesse on a leash.
Paul wore a cast on his arm and a bandage on his cheek. Jordan bore a bare spot and stitches on her head from a laceration above a concussion: Ray had left her for dead on the mission grounds when he’d taken Paul home and kept him tied in his basement without food or water. When Jordan revived, she’d hidden on the mission grounds, waiting for her master to return.
Paul, Nicole, and Shelley all carried flowers. They stopped at Clifton Sloan’s grave.
The wind blew Nicole’s hair around her face. She looked beyond the grave to the knoll where the large Pinchot juniper grew. “It seems like months, ago that Dad’s funeral service was being held and I looked up to see you and Jordan standing on that knoll. You looked right into my eyes.”
“And you went all white,” Shelley said.
“I hadn’t seen him for fifteen years, honey. I thought he was dead.”
“But you’re sure glad he’s not.” Shelley looked at Paul and beamed. “Me, too. Mommy told me she used to love you. I think she still does.”
Paul smiled at her. “I hope so.”
“I’m still a little sad about Ray, though.” Shelley frowned. “I thought he was our friend.”
“He fooled a lot of people,” Nicole said. “He wasn’t what he seemed to be.”
“Yeah, I know.” Shelley laid a single red rose on her grandfather’s grave. “Do you think Grandpa knows we’re here?”
“I don’t know,” Nicole said.
“I think he does. I think he knows it’s a pretty day and we’re all here, even Jesse.” Then with a child’s quick change of attention, she asked, “Can I take Jesse and Jordan to look at some of the other flowers?”
“Yes,” Nicole said.
Paul nodded to Jordan, who trotted along with Shelley and an exuberant, sneezing Jesse.
When they were a few feet from the grave, Paul put a hand on Nicole’s shoulder. “How do you feel?”
Nicole shrugged. “Sad. Strange. Paul, I didn’t know my father at all.”
“Yes you did,” he said gently. “You know he loved you. That’s all that’s really important.”
“I’m surprised you can say that. What about what he did to you?”
Paul’s gaze dropped. “When Ray first told us the truth, I was furious with your father. Enraged. But then I thought about it. What would his coming forward have accomplished? Who would have believed his vague story about a third figure he couldn’t identify in the park? All the police would have concentrated on was him. He had the motive, the opportunity, and the means. The gun was part of your grandfather’s estate left to your mother. She told us it was kept in a locked chest in the attic. She never looked at the guns, never even knew it was missing from the collection.”
“But she suspected I’d been sleepwalking the night Zand and Magaro were murdered.”
“Suspecting isn’t knowing. She didn’t want to upset you. And she didn’t know your father had come back from Dallas that night.”
“But he had. And he could have cleared you.”
“I think he was taking the chance that I would be found innocent.”
“That was quite a chance.”
Paul smiled. “Nicole, your father was human. He made a mistake. Just like my mother. But they paid for their mistakes. Your father probably never had a moment’s peace of mind for fifteen years. The guilt must have been awful. That’s why he left the church. Finally, when Ray’s tormenting started, he just couldn’t stand it anymore. And Nicole, with the exception of your father’s death, everything did work out for us in the end. The real killer is dead. I’ve been cleared. We’re together again. You have a beautiful daughter. Your husband has left Lisa. Even Carmen has forgiven you.”
“I guess you’re right,” Nicole said listlessly. “But none of this had to happen if Dad had just told the truth.”
Paul’s voice was gentle. “Nicole, please remember all the things you loved about your father. That’s what I’ve tried to do with Mother. Don’t let one bad mistake negate all the good things he did in his life. And you know, I’m convinced that if I hadn’t run, if I’d gone to trial and he’d seen that it was going badly for me, he would have come forward.”
“Do you really think so?”
“Yes, I do.”
“I can’t believe how forbearing you are.”
“I told you I learned a lot during my years on the road. One of them was tolerance for people’s weaknesses. After all, look what I did. Instead of facing my troubles, I ran. I put the people who loved me through a lot of pain because of that decision. I hope they can forgive me. I’ve tried to forgive my mother for how she treated Ray, pushing him aside, leaving him in that devil Rosa’s care, ignoring the abuse. It made him what he was. And I think you should forgive your father. He was a good man, Nicole. He just panicked. So did I.”
Nicole sighed. “You’re right. Dad did make a mistake—a huge one.” She looked up at him and smiled sadly. “But I still love him.”
“Of course you do.”
She kneeled and put her bouquet of pink chrysanthemums on the grave. Then Paul kneeled also, placing a bunch of hyacinths beside her bouquet. “White hyacinths,” he said. “A long time ago my mother told me they mean, ‘I’ll pray for you.’ ”
They both stood. Nicole looked up at Paul, her eyes brimming with tears. “I think I can finally cry for him, now.”
Paul wrapped his good arm around her, pulling her close. He kissed the top of her head. “Let the tears come, Nicole. You can always cry to me because I’ll never leave you again.”