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Colt
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SHE’S INSATIABLE. I thought I would be too much for her to handle, my need too strong, but she wants sex more than I do. Not that I’m complaining. I’d never do that. I’m more than happy to oblige.
Why?
Because morning sex is awesome. Afternoon sex is amazing. Shower sex is dangerous, but worth it. Outdoor sex is fun.
And sex without a condom is the ultimate sensation. There’s nothing like it. Nothing like her soft warmth wrapping tightly around me as I thrust into her over and over, from on top, from behind, from underneath, bent over, sitting down, while she reads dirty scenes from her book—that was fun. I’m surprised we didn’t wake up the camp with how much noise we made, moaning, groaning, laughing, swearing, reading.
Good times.
Might have to try that again.
Will try that again.
“Can I ask you a question?” the weird chick says, her voice so soft I have to strain to understand what she’s saying and make sure she’s talking to me.
We’ve spent the last few days swimming and hanging out on the beach with everyone—when Em and I weren’t fornicating in the bushes; I still have the scratches on my ass from that—yet I still don’t know her name. Which is surprising because I’m excellent at remembering names. I’m sure she was on my team when we played capture the flag last night.
“Shoot.” I pass the ball between my hands and watch Em. She’s perched on Austin’s shoulders in the water wrestling with Louise who is on Rome’s shoulders.
“You and Emerson. What’s going on there?”
I look over at the quiet girl. “What do you mean? She’s my best friend.”
She clasps her hands on her lap. “And Austin is mine.”
“Good to know.” I press my lips together and wait for her to get to the point.
“But I thought Emerson and Austin were a couple.”
“What gave you that idea?”
“I don’t know. They hang out a lot. Talk on the phone. Go on dates.”
“And?” Em and I live together, do everything together, too. It doesn’t mean there is anything going on between us. Except for, you know...copulating.
“I’m wondering... If she is dating Austin, why is she sleeping in your tent, sitting on your lap and spending more time with you than she is with him?”
I swallow and narrow my gaze on Em.
She’s not dating Austin.
“I’m also wondering why you are sharing a bed with another guy’s girl?”
“She’s my best friend.”
“Yeah. You said. And Austin is mine. I’m not crawling into his tent every night, though.”
“Maybe you should,” I mutter. The world would be a better place if everyone just got laid more.
“Excuse me?”
Shit, she heard me. “Nothing.”
“I’m not the only one wondering it, either.”
“Austin?”
She shakes her head and brushes a strand of hair behind her ear. “Everyone else. The girls mostly.”
Who cares what Lauren and her friends think? They’re not important.
“How would you know?”
“They’ve been talking about it. Calling her names behind her back. Names that I don’t want to repeat because they’re not nice. And I was always taught not to say anything if I didn’t have something nice to say.”
“They’ve been talking to you about it? Bullshit. This is the most words I’ve heard you speak since we’ve been here. Your nose is always buried in a book. You have no idea what’s going on.”
“Just because I keep to myself doesn’t mean I don’t see what’s going on. I’m quiet. Shy. I get forgotten and overlooked. It’s like I’m not here most of the time, which means people don’t filter what they say around me. And they are saying horrible things about Emerson.”
I can’t very well tell her what Em and I get up to under the covers, on top of the covers, in the shower, or when we take long walks up the beach, so I lie. “There’s nothing to tell. We’re good friends. End of story.”
“Well, maybe you should think about backing off and keeping some distance for a while. It doesn’t look good on her; sleeping with you when she has a boyfriend. I don’t want Austin to get hurt either.”
Fuck.
Em’s talking and laughing with Austin, and I realize his weird friend is right.
“Can you watch the birds?” I ask Austin’s number one fan, pointing to Clyde and Jordan tethered to the volleyball pole with tiny hats on their heads so they don’t get burnt. Wouldn’t want roast chicken.
“Sure.” She frowns and screws up her nose.
Without another word, I head back to the tent to change shoes and go for a run, heading up the beach, away from the direction everyone else is hanging out. Running is the best way to clear my head and get my thoughts straight. And that’s what I need. We never should have gone camping. Nothing good ever comes from spending time with people.
Em has never confirmed that there is anything going on between her and Austin, always telling me they’re just friends. I know her well enough to be confident she isn’t diddling me while dating Austin.
Except it seems no one else knows that, and that worries me. Em’s tough. She doesn’t let bitchy talk get to her. And there’s been plenty of talk over the years because we live together. People are judgmental assholes and thinks it’s impossible to be friends with the opposite sex without one or the other becoming too invested, wanting more. Which is bullshit. Em and I have always been friends. Now we’re friends who jam the clam, too.
Though I’m positive there’s nothing between her and Austin, it doesn’t look good from everyone else’s perspective. It makes Em look like she’s playing two guys. I don’t care how it reflects on me, but it also makes Austin look stupid. His friend and apparent girlfriend messing around behind his back. He might not realize it, but other people are noticing.
Em’s not the type of girl to string two guys along. For fuck’s sake, she still hasn’t kissed a guy. She can polish my pole like a pro, but I can guarantee there’s no chance of anyone else getting in her pants, because it takes time to build trust in a relationship. Time most guys aren’t willing to give. Except maybe Austin.
But Austin’s not pathetic. He’s not stupid. He wouldn’t stick with a girl if she was screwing around on him.
Me? Ehhh. Until a couple of months ago, I’d dip my wick into any mouth, as long as the chick was hot and willing. I didn’t think twice about it if she had a boyfriend. If she dropped to her knees for me, that was her and her boyfriend’s problem, not mine.
Can’t do that with Em. I care about her too much.
I frown.
Shit.
I need to stop this. Now. Until Em and Austin set the record straight, and let everyone know they’re not dating, at all, never have been, there will be no more dicking, no more lusting and thrusting, no more bumping uglies.
It’s done.
It’s the only way to protect both Em and Austin’s reputations.
My muscles protest as I push myself further, running up and down the stairs that lead to the top of the cliff overlooking the entire cove. I can make out the camp in the far distance and wonder if anyone has noticed that I’m missing. I’ve been running for hours. My lungs burn from lack of oxygen. My legs ache, trembling from the strain of running for so long.
I pause long enough to take a drink at the water fountain and splash my face and head with water before I turn around and run back down the stairs and along the beach to the camp. It’s getting late, and we’re leaving in the morning.
Not soon enough.
***
EM GREETS ME WITH A smile when I make it back to the tent. She’s lying on her stomach in her bikini, reading. She’s hot. But there’s something about the way she lies on her stomach with her feet crossed at the ankles, hair piled on her head while she reads that’s so beyond sexy. It makes me want to crawl over her, bite her ass cheek and plough her through the floor of the tent.
I groan and squeeze my eyes shut, turning away from her tempting form.
“Hey, where’d you disappear to?” She shuffles around.
I avoid meeting her gaze, panting for breath, sweat dripping down my back. “Running.” Isn’t that obvious?
“Why didn’t you tell me? I would have come with you.”
“You were having fun in the water with Austin.” I don’t mean to snap at her, but my voice comes out harsher than I expect it to. Damn hormones. I’m trying to pull myself together and not go back on the decision I made to stop this, but her scent washes over me. My knees go weak, and I want to lick a line from her throat to her...
No. I don’t.
Taking a deep breath, I crouch down and pull out clean clothes from my bag.
“Colt,” Em says, crawling over to me. “Everything okay?”
Her hand is soft and warm on my arm, her eyes flicking between mine with worry. I drop my gaze to her chest, my fingers flex. All it will take is a small flick of my wrist and I could brush her nipple through her top.
But I don’t. I pull away and adjust my shorts to hide my erection. “Fine. Going for a shower,” I say and run out of the tent like a bat out of hell.
The hot spray of the shower does little to calm me down. All I want to do is go back to the tent, wrap Em in my arms and apologize for being a dick. But I don’t.
I stand under the shower and let the water wash away the reservations I have about doing this.
The last thing I want to do is become the guy that screws his girl, takes her virginity and dumps her days later. Not that Em is my girl and I’m dumping her. But then why does my stupid chest hurt every time I think about what I have to do?
Bracing my hands on the shower wall, I drop my head and let the water sluice down my back. The sound of the heavy stream and the thoughts in my mind drown out all sound, and I don’t hear her until it’s too late. Until her arms wrap around my waist and she presses her face into my back.
My back stiffens and I don’t move. I should move away. I should tell her we can’t do this anymore but she fits so perfectly against me.
Her hands caress my stomach, dusting over my ribs. “You seemed on edge. I wanted to make sure you were okay,” she says, pressing herself closer to me.
I squeeze my eyes shut, enjoying her touch on my skin. “I’m fine.”
“Colt, look at me.”
I can’t though, because if I turn around it’ll be game over. I’m not strong enough to resist her. I’m already hard and throbbing, and all she’s done is wrap her arms around me. If I let her see I’m ready for her, she’ll get the wrong idea and make ending this that much harder.
She rubs my back, kneading my tight muscles. “You’re tense. What’s wrong?”
I still don’t move, don’t speak. My fists clench at my sides as Em’s fingers work the muscles in my neck. It’s when her lips press to my spine I snap. Spinning around, I grip her hands in mine, holding them away from my body as I step toward her, crowding her space until she backs up against the shower wall.
It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell her we can’t do this, but I lean into her instead, just wanting to breathe her in one last time, feel her skin against mine one last time before I fuck it all up because of stupid Austin.
And then she ruins my resolve in one move. Hands still clasped in mine, she drops to her fucking knees.
I see something in her eyes.
Curiosity. Eagerness. Desire.
But there’s a hint of something else. Fear, maybe? Vulnerability.
She’s putting herself out there, taking a chance and going after what she wants. Which is something I’ve imagined over and over, yet never discussed with her.
“Is this okay?” she lifts her gaze to mine, pulling her hands from my slackened grip. No, this is not okay. She has to stop. She traces one finger along my shaft and places her other hand on my thigh. “I’ve wanted to try this, but I’m nervous. I don’t know what to do.”
I move my hand to her face, brush my thumb across cheek and slide my fingers into her hair with every intention of pulling her away.
“Em.” My voice is croaky, rough. My throat dry. I swallow, trying to moisten it. “I think you...”
And holy fuck.
My eyes roll back in my head and I groan as she licks me, tracing the same path she made with her finger. My hand tightens in her hair and I should definitely pull away, but she takes it as an invitation to continue.
Her lips wrap around me, and she pulls me into her hot, wet mouth, swirling her tongue around me and... Shit. I can’t help it, my hips buck. “So fucking good,” I hiss as Em adds her hand to the mix.
Her nails dig into my thigh, and I brace myself on the wall above her head, before I realize what I’m doing and a sense of decency kicks in. “Stop,” I grunt, pulling out of her mouth, breathing hard. I’ll live to regret giving this up later, but it’s the right thing to do.
Em’s eyebrows pull together and she chews on her bottom lip. “Did I do it wrong?”
I turn away from her and rest my head against the opposite wall. “No,” I mutter, trying to catch my breath and think of anything but Em. Anything that will put a stop to the raging boner and worst case of blue balls I’ve ever had.
But I can’t. Nothing works. Because all I see is her. All I smell is her. She’s everywhere, surrounding me, even when she’s not. She’s all I want.
“You need to go,” I tell her through a clenched jaw.
“What?”
“You need to leave, please,” I plead.
“I don’t understand.” She moves behind me and grabs my shoulder, spinning me to face her. “Tell me what’s going on.”
“This.” I gesture between us. “We have to stop. It’s not right.”
“Not right? Says who?”
“Everyone thinks you’re with Austin and sleeping with me. It’s wrong. We can’t do this as long as Austin is in the picture. I’m sorry.” And I am sorry. So fucking sorry.
She lets out a bitter laugh, one of disbelief. “You think I’d have sex with you when I’m in a relationship with someone else?”
“No,. I don’t. I know you better than that. But other people might think it.”
“Since when have you cared what other people think?”
“Since I care about you.”
She snorts. “Funny way of showing it. Didn’t think about the repercussions before screwing me six ways from Sunday?”
I reach for her, but she pulls back, wrapping her arms around her waist. “Em, it’s not...” I try to explain, but how can I? I rejected her. That’s got to hurt.
“Forget it, Colt. It was fun. Thanks for making it special. I’ll keep my hands and body to myself from now on. Make some room in the bed for Jane or something.”
The pain in her eyes kills me. It hits hard, like a punch in the gut when she storms out of the shower, letting the door slam behind her. I hunch forward, gasping for breath like I’ve had the wind knocked out of me, and slump to the shower floor.
***
IT’S THE FIRST NIGHT in nine years that I’ve gone to bed without Em. And it’s the first morning in nine years I’ve woken up alone.
I don’t like it, but I tell myself it’s for the best.