That morning only a couple of men came to help, one for each team of workers. Jared, Cal and their helper finished putting up the boards on their sides by dinnertime. As Jared went through the motions of building, his thoughts stayed back in the kitchen, both last night and this morning.
He’d never felt so close to anyone as he had to Emma last night. She’d listened to his deepest secret and then let him take her hand. All the bitterness she’d rightfully felt toward him these past two years seemed to be gone. Later, as he’d lain abed, he’d wondered whether he should forget his dream about having his own place in Colorado and take up courting her again. This time he wouldn’t back out. He’d see it through to the end. Then he’d offer to live with the Sharps and work this ranch. That would be an even better alternative to Colorado because he could live near his family without living with them. He cared for all of his brothers, but the older ones were awful bossy, while Mr. Sharp respected him. Working for him would be a sight easier than always having to answer to Rob.
Then this morning Mr. Sharp shocked them all with his invite to Cal. Jared was more than happy for his brother, yet if Jared courted Emma now, she might think it was so he’d get a share of the ranch. That would be worse than jilting her. He should have kissed her last night when he had the chance. Should have told her how he regretted his past actions but that he was a changed man. That he admired—well, tumbleweed, might as well admit it. He loved her. Would she believe him if he told her that now?
He’d been neglectful of praying about it, so he lifted a silent prayer for the Lord’s direction. As they began their work on the roof and interior, he waited and waited for an answer. The Lord seemed intent on teaching Jared to be patient, so he’d try to hurry up and learn.
* * *
“If we can’t go tonight, we have to go tomorrow night.” Emma glanced around the table over dinner. “We’ve never even seen a Las Posadas celebration. How will we know what to do when it’s our turn? That’s just three days away.”
“The barn’s almost finished,” Pa said. “I don’t see why you young folks can’t go. I’m sure you can finish it in the time you have left.”
“Oh, yes. Let’s go.” Julia gave Cal a sweet smile. “Can we go?”
“If you want to go, we can.” Cal’s smile mirrored Julia’s.
Emma’s sting of envy wasn’t as sharp as usual. She looked at Jared with expectation. “Want to go?”
“I thought we were going to work on the farolitos tomorrow evening.” A teasing look filled his eyes.
“We can do that tonight.” Emma did want to make the farolitos, the customary Las Posadas paper lanterns that would illuminate the path from the main road to their new barn. Ma had already bought paper bags and candles. All they needed to do was put a couple of inches of sand in the bags and secure the candles in the centers so the brown bags wouldn’t catch on fire, place them along the path and then light them before “Mary and Joseph” arrived. Jared seemed eager to help make them. Maybe if he enjoyed working alongside her enough, he’d want to do it more often. Maybe even for the rest of his life.
“I don’t know,” Jared said. “Tomorrow Cal and I have to put shingles on the roof. That might take well into the evening.”
“And Paco and I need to build the interior.” Emma wouldn’t let him off without a fight. “We’re gonna take a few hours off tomorrow evening to enjoy ourselves. That’s all there is to it.”
She could hear the bossiness in her own voice, and her conscience stung. That was the old Emma, not the new one who prayed every day that Jared would give voice to the tender feelings so obvious in his eyes when he looked her way. His interest in finishing the barn showed more than neighborly care; it showed his concern for her family’s well-being. Her well-being. That made her feel real good. Pa always protected Ma, and even though Emma had done a man’s work every day of her life, she still longed to have someone look out for her that way. So she quit her argument and gave him the platter of griddle cakes along with a sweet smile like Julia always gave Cal.
Jared smiled back. “I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to attend the celebration.”
“Before you get started on those shingles, would you help me plan out how wide the stalls should be and where I should put the tack room?”
She already knew all that, and she knew he knew she knew. So she expected a teasing answer, maybe something about wasting his time so she could get ahead. But somehow the competition had faded away over the past few days. Ever since they’d sat up that night with Mrs. Cat.
“Ma’am, I’d be happy to consult with you on the matter.” Jared waggled his eyebrows playfully.
Emma laughed. Actually, it was more like a giggle. Bother. She was starting to sound as girly as Julia. But somehow, she decided, that wasn’t a bad thing after all.
* * *
All day long the Lord stayed silent, not giving Jared any direction about courting Emma other than to remind him to love her as Christ loved the church. He did notice she’d altogether quit being prickly and sassy. He couldn’t say his actions brought about the changes, but he couldn’t say they hadn’t either. As to courting her, the Lord didn’t give word or wisdom on the matter, no matter how many memorized Bible verses Jared recalled or how much he prayed. Maybe it was God’s will for him to go to Colorado, after all. He’d have a hard time leaving Emma behind. A real hard time. Maybe Emma would agree to go with him.
That was it! The Lord’s answer. He wouldn’t try to horn in on Cal and Julia’s blessing of inheriting the ranch. Instead, he and Emma would strike out on their own. The idea excited him so much he came near to hammering his thumb instead of the nail he held against a wooden shake shingle.
He looked down to where she was trimming a board on the sawhorse. As always, she was hard at work. My, she was beautiful. How had she felt about her father’s invite to Cal the other morning? Was she pleased that her sister would still be living here? They got along real well, just like he and Cal. Maybe she wouldn’t want to leave with him so they could settle in their own place. Maybe her love for her family and for this particular piece of land would keep her here.
The only way to find out was to propose to her, but when? Did he need to wait until after Las Posadas? After Cal and Julia’s wedding? Just then, Emma glanced up at him and gave him that pretty smile of hers. One of Pop’s favorite sayings came to mind: “There’s no time like the present to get the job done.”
Jared set his hammer down, clambered down the ladder and strode over to her. Of course when she looked at him with those sky blue eyes, he got tongue-tied. All he could spit out was, “Nice day.”
“Sure is.” She looked back at her work and kept on sawing.
“It’s a good thing we didn’t get any more snow.”
“Uh-huh.” She paused and looked at him again, and his heart leaped clear up into his throat. “Did you come down here to say something? Like you’ve given up the competition ’cause you know I’m winning?” Her teasing smile held a world of good humor.
“Yes, ma’am. No, ma’am.”
Mr. Sharp chose that moment to come out of the barn with another board. The old man looked better every day, a tribute to everyone’s prayers and the hard work he’d been doing.
“Mr. Sharp, I want to marry Emma. I know I didn’t do right last time, and I made a bad mistake. Could you please forgive me and give me your permission to court her again?” Did that sound all right? Was that what he should say? Wait. Had he just said that out loud?
Mr. Sharp’s eyes widened. “Why, Jared, I wondered when you’d come around. Yes, you have my permission to court Emma.” He looked at her. “Is that all right with you, daughter?”
Emma stood still as a statue, her mouth hanging wide-open. Mr. Sharp reached over and lifted her chin. “Close your mouth, daughter, and answer the question.” He didn’t seem to notice his own contradiction, but his blue eyes twinkled.
Which made Jared feel mighty good because it meant Mr. Sharp wouldn’t mind having him for a son-in-law. That idea emboldened him more than he ever could have expected.
“Emma, will you go courting with me, or should we just go ahead and get married the same day as Cal and Julia?” If she hesitated to say yes, he’d tell her about Colorado and make sure she understood he loved her, not this ranch.
Tears began to stream down her cheeks, freezing in the wind against her bright pink skin. “I’d like that, Jared.”
Much relieved, he gave out a hearty laugh. “Which one? Courting or marrying?”
“Oh, you.” She set down her saw and smacked his arm.
“Ow!” Through his thick jacket it didn’t hurt in the least, but he hollered anyway. “If you’re gonna hit me like that, maybe I’ll change my mind.” Uh-oh. Shouldn’t have said that. ’Specially since he’d done it once and would never do it again.
She answered by snuggling under that same arm and squeezing him around his middle. “No, you won’t. I won’t let you.”
Her sassy smile tickled his insides, and he didn’t have any choice but to squeeze back, even with her father looking on.
“Let’s go tell Ma.” Emma stepped out of his arms, leaving him with an empty feeling. Now that he had her back, he couldn’t bear the thought of losing her again.
“Sure thing.” He gripped her hand, and they hurried across the barnyard toward the kitchen door. Behind them, Jared could hear Mr. Sharp’s slower, uneven footfalls on the cold ground.
The moment they stepped into the room, mouth-watering aromas of fresh-baked bread and stewed chicken swept over them. Jared’s belly rumbled in reply, and he and Emma shared a laugh. My, that felt good! He took off his hat to let the indoor heat warm him from the top down.
Then they saw Mrs. Sharp seated at the table, a letter in hand and tears running down her cheeks. Julia sat beside her chewing a thumbnail, a worried look on her face.
“Ma, what on earth?” Emma sat beside her mama and took her hand.
“What is it, Annie?” Mr. Sharp nudged Julia to another chair so he could sit on Mrs. Sharp’s other side and pull her into an embrace.
Jared watched with concern and a good measure of interest. A husband took care of his wife, something he’d have to do for Emma, even if she cried. Mr. Sharp set a good example.
“This letter’s from Maggie.” Mrs. Sharp looked at Jared. “She’s my baby sister. Lives in Cleveland. Her husband died last summer, and she’s been struggling ever since to hold down a job and manage the house and six small children.”
Jared felt a pinch of worry, but he couldn’t rightly say why.
Mrs. Sharp pulled a handkerchief from her sleeve and dabbed at her tears before sliding the letter over to Mr. Sharp. “She’s asking us to send Emma to help her with the little ones.” She gripped Emma’s hand. “You’ve got to go, daughter. I don’t see how we can say no to family.”
Emma went pale, but she nodded.
An icy sensation seized Jared right in the heart. They’d agreed to marry five minutes ago. Was she now about to up and leave him?
Her nod turned to a shake of her head, and her eyes narrowed like when she didn’t like something. A glimmer of hope lit up inside of Jared.
“Why would Aunt Maggie ask such a thing of me?” Her troubled expression turned angry. “I don’t know anything about taking care of children.”
No word coming out of her mouth could have shocked Jared more. Shocked him even more than the idea of her leaving to help her aunt.
She didn’t know anything about taking care of children? And here he’d dreamed of having a passel of them with her. He’d made a terrible mistake to propose to her before talking about these things. How could he back out on her...again?
* * *
Emma had nothing against children. She liked the ones she knew. She just didn’t know what to do with them. Working alongside Pa, she hadn’t gone with Ma to visit friends with young ones as Julia had.
In response to her outburst, Ma shed a few more tears. “That’s my fault, Emma. You’ve always been so busy helping your pa, and I neglected to teach you. I’m sorry for that.”
Pa appeared stunned by Aunt Maggie’s request. Ma didn’t know Jared had proposed, but Pa did. Did he understand she couldn’t leave now? Not when her dream of a happy life was about to come true. Jared’s face closed up tight, but she could see anger under his blank expression. He turned away and walked outside, putting his hat on his head as he went. From the way his shoulders slumped, she guessed he was thinking he was about to be abandoned again.
Deep inside she knew she had to go to Aunt Maggie. What choice did she have? Decent folks helped those having difficulties, especially family. If it hadn’t been for their neighbors helping them, they’d never have gotten the barn built. While it was a grand thing to have it done for Las Posadas, in truth, the family desperately needed it for the winter.
Now a family member required help, and Emma was the only one who could go. Julia and Cal had planned their marriage first, and they deserved their happiness. With Cal staying on the ranch, Pa wouldn’t need Emma’s help as much. Two couples could manage to run the place.
As much as she didn’t want to go, how could she pray to the Lord about anything if she didn’t surrender herself to do His will? She took Ma’s boney, weathered hand and gently squeezed it.
“You can wire Aunt Maggie and tell her I’ll come right after Julia’s wedding.” She’d allow herself that one pleasure before abandoning Jared. Before abandoning all she’d ever known.
Ma gave her a weary smile. “I knew you’d do what’s right, dear. And don’t fret about tending the children. You’ll figure it out just fine.”
“Emma, are you sure about this?” Pa reached over and placed his large, callused hand on top of hers. His frown said more than his words. “Once a man’s proposed, he don’t like to wait on his woman, ’specially when he has no idea how long she’ll be gone.”
“Jared proposed?” Ma and Julia asked in unison. Julia squealed, but Ma sighed deeply and wearily.
“Oh, my dear.” She gave Emma’s hand a sympathetic squeeze and then gave Pa one of their special looks. “When you think about it, it’s no different from a man going off to war and his woman not knowing when—or if—he’ll come home.”
“That’s true, Annie.” Pa echoed her sigh. “I’m grateful to the Lord for bringing me home to you and Emma, and for sending us Julia nine months later.”
“Pa!” Julia’s cheeks flamed. Any other time, Emma would have snickered at her sister’s prudishness. Julia was the one who’d been disappointed about not seeing the kittens born.
Pa and Ma shared a laugh, a soft, cozy sound that had always made Emma glad. Today, though, it reminded her that she might never share such sweet closeness with Jared. Not if he wouldn’t wait for however many years it took to help Aunt Maggie care for her young’uns. She’d best face it head-on and find out what he was thinking.
“Well, I have some stalls to finish.” She shoved away from the table and stood. “Mostly, I need to talk to Jared.”
Ma and Pa looked at her with identical worried expressions, so she forced a smile.
“Don’t worry. The Lord will work it out.” She gave voice to a conviction she wasn’t exactly feeling at the moment.
They both returned a smile, so she knew she’d done right by them. As the oldest daughter that was her job in life: sacrificing her own happiness for a stretch of time to take care of family. Now to take care of the man she loved. The man with whom she hoped to build her own family. Someday.
Holding up a hand to shield her eyes from the glare of the sun, she could see him back up on the roof nailing shingles into place. The determined look on his face and the power of his hammering indicated he was intent on completing a large part of the roof this afternoon. With a heap of building to do inside the barn, she pondered whether to climb the ladder and talk now or wait until he came down. It was best not to alarm a man on a roof, so she decided to get on with her own work. Besides, he probably needed some time to himself. She’d grant him that. She could use a little thinking time herself right about now.
Inside the barn Paco was putting boards in place between two stalls. She arrived just in time to help him secure them with nails.
The work stretched on until suppertime. To her disappointment, Jared didn’t check on her all afternoon. When the hour arrived for them to quit, he didn’t even come inside the barn to walk her to the wash tables on the back porch. In fact, he and Cal were already washing up when Emma and Paco arrived.
From the obvious way Jared ignored her—turning the back of his shoulder her direction, Emma could see big change coming from their days of teasing, and she didn’t like it one bit. When he broke off courting her two years ago, he’d never explained himself. Even though she’d figured it out after he’d told her about the kitty that had comforted him after his ma left, he’d never come out and said he didn’t trust Emma to stay. Was that how he felt now? If he wouldn’t talk things out with her, like Ma and Pa did when they had a hard situation to deal with, maybe it would be a mistake to marry him.
Surely he understood about family. She knew he and his brothers worked together, stuck together, no matter what. No doubt each one of them had sacrificed something along the way for the good of the others. Sure, he had to sort things out about this situation, but what if he didn’t sort them out the way she hoped? His quiet, distant manner continued through supper and into the evening, and she had a terrible feeling he didn’t trust her enough to discuss it for fear of what she’d say. Well, if he wouldn’t talk to her, she wouldn’t talk to him. After all, she had her pride.
* * *
No longer feeling a part of the Sharp family, Jared couldn’t bring himself to look at Emma as they all sat in the parlor that evening. However, he couldn’t escape the clicking sound of her knitting needles and knew she was still making Christmas presents, just as he was. Last night he’d finished her comb and now almost had Mrs. Sharp’s apple wood spoons done. Mr. Sharp’s bolo tie was finished, and the wooden slide only needed a bit more sanding.
“Say there, Emma.” As always in the evenings, Mr. Sharp held his large Bible on his lap. “Those socks you’re knitting are a mite small. Who’re they for? You taking them to Cleveland with you?”
She blinked in that pretty, surprised way of hers that Jared found so appealing. It was hard to shut down his feelings after growing fonder of her every day, after thinking of all the ways he might take care of her and please her.
“No, sir.” She held up the half-done sock. “I’m making them for Robby.” Her expression turned sheepish. “Last week I asked Rob if I could give Robby some candy for Christmas, and he said that was fine. I hope he doesn’t mind me adding something more practical.” She gave Jared a shy smile. “Jared said his family doesn’t celebrate Christmas, but I figured a boy ought to have Christmas presents, even if one of them is a pair of socks.”
While everyone else chuckled, Jared could only stare at Emma. Was this the same gal who, not four hours ago, had said she didn’t know much about children? Yet here she was making a present for Robby and planning to buy him some candy. Maybe she knew more than she thought. At least a day before her aunt’s letter arrived, she’d begun to knit those socks for his nephew, who’d received far too few gifts in his young life. That was way more than generous. It was downright magnanimous, the word he’d spelled correctly in the eighth-grade spelling bee back in Charleston, beating out his entire school. He’d earned the top prize for it, the five-dollar gold piece he’d be giving Cal and Julia on Christmas Day. Right now, though, he had the feeling a much finer prize was about to slip through his fingers.
“That’s a mighty good thing to do, Emma.” Mr. Sharp opened the Bible and thumbed through the pages. “I’m sure the boy will be delighted.”
Although Jared agreed, he still had much to think about before he could figure out his future with Emma. That was, if he still had a future with her.
Mr. Sharp found his place and smoothed a hand across the page. “As Emma just showed us, Christmas is all about giving. So let’s take a look at the greatest gift the Almighty gave us on that first Christmas, starting at Matthew, chapter one, verse eighteen. ‘Now the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise: When as his mother Mary was espoused to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Ghost.’”
As the older man continued to read, Jared couldn’t keep his mind from scampering down a rabbit trail. He’d always felt a little sorry for Joseph when he found out his bride-to-be was expecting, knowing full well he wasn’t the father of her child. But the Lord had chosen him to be Mary’s husband because he was a “just” man, one who would stand by Mary in spite of rumors. Of course, according the scripture, the Lord had it all worked out since the beginning of time: Mary’s baby was the long-promised Messiah. Because of Joseph’s character and faithfulness, he would be granted the great privilege and responsibility of serving as the earthly protector of God’s own Son.
Jared wouldn’t be so bold as to compare himself with Joseph. But he’d learned from Pastor Daniel that every story in scripture held a lesson a man could apply to his own life. While no rumors were attached to Emma, maybe the Lord wanted him to be as supportive of her as Joseph had been to Mary in the job she had to do. In Emma’s situation, that meant he would have to support her decision to help her family rather than marry him, even though the idea cut into him painfully.
Mr. Sharp read the passage in Matthew clear through to chapter three, where the Lord told Joseph to take the Christ Child home from Egypt to settle in Nazareth. From then on, only one further story referred to Joseph, although Mary was mentioned in several passages about Jesus’s ministry. Joseph seemed to have simply and quietly passed from history.
Jared released an inaudible sigh. Was his lot in life to quietly disappear? To have no further significance after the barn was built to protect the Sharps’ livestock and serve as a place for the community to celebrate the last night of Las Posadas?
As one of five sons, he’d always had a hard time getting attention. Not that he wanted to be famous or anything. All he wanted was his own piece of land and a wife to share it with. Was it God’s will for him to lose Emma’s wifely companionship because her responsibility to her family was more important than marrying him? He’d do what the Lord instructed, but that didn’t soften the sting of being abandoned by the woman who was supposed to become the center of his life. Abandoned again, he reminded himself. How many times could he be expected to endure such treatment?
Yes, he’d obey the Lord. However, he would not let Emma leave for Cleveland without telling her he’d wait for her and give her a chance to make a similar commitment to him. He’d tell her about his hopes of buying that ranch in Colorado and building a house for her there. Would she like that? As soon as Mr. Sharp finished reading, he’d ask permission to speak to her privately while the others went to bed.
Mr. Sharp closed his Bible and offered a prayer. Then he stood and reached out to Mrs. Sharp. “Annie, let’s get those farolitos made.”
Jared had forgotten they’d planned to do that this evening. He couldn’t very well talk about private matters in front of Emma’s whole family. For now all he could do was encourage her.
While the ladies gathered the sacks and candles, Jared and Cal went outside to retrieve the buckets of sand they’d fetched from the riverbank earlier. They all stood around the kitchen table to work on the project. Jared took his place beside Emma and offered a smile. She looked mighty tired, so he’d make sure they had a chance to talk in the morning.
Then, as he thought more about it, he decided he should first tell Pop about proposing to Emma and about her having to leave for a long spell. He also needed to discuss his dream of buying a ranch in Colorado, since Pop would have to give him his inheritance to make that happen. With only a few days before Cal and Julia’s wedding, and then Emma leaving the next day, he must not wait any longer. If Pop didn’t agree to Jared’s plans, Jared would have to find another solution. If Pop approved, Jared could take the next step of talking to Emma.
In the meantime, he needed to show Emma he hadn’t given up on her without saying too much. “Say, you sure do a good job of making those candles stand up.”
She responded with a sad, rueful smile and slumped shoulders. He longed to encourage her, but with his hands deep in damp sand and her family all around, Jared couldn’t exactly give her a big hug. But, Lord willing, he’d make it up to her real soon.