It wasn’t as bad this last time, thought Kozz, my heart didn't hurt as much. It feels like the weight of a boulder has been lifted off my chest and I can breath again. Luciele and Caleb are the medicine I should have been prescribed a decade ago. Even those kids Richard and Kelly have helped to ease my tension.
I feel strong again, alive again. My heart beats as strong as a lion’s. I let my mistakes cripple me, and my son's death destroy me. All these lonely years spent on this ice block have been tough, but in the midst of all the chaos and otherworldly carnage I find myself feeling more at ease than I have in a long time. Battle has been my life, and it has returned. Family has been my reason for life, and in my friends I have found a family. I must find her, my dear Priscilla. I should have never left.
“I'm so sorry, Caleb,” Luciele cried into her son's shoulder. She still did not forgive herself. “I'm sorry I left you behind, I thought it would be more safe in the camp.”
“It's ok mom,” said Caleb. He gave his mother a strong squeeze. "I'm still here. That's all that matters. Kelly took care of me and everything turned out alright in the end. None of us got hurt. It's impossible for you to be with me a hundred percent of the time.”
Luciele released her son and nodded. No, she could not be with him all the time, and that was the problem. She once shared that responsibility with her husband, Harold, but he was now gone. Even when Caleb was away from his mother and father he was cared for by his grandmother, Harold's mother, but she was gone as well. Luciele was now all alone in caring for Caleb, and sometimes the weight of the responsibility felt as if it would crush her. On the surface she tried her best to be strong for him, but inside she worried that she was not a good enough parent to watch over Caleb all on her own, especially in the middle of the crazy world they were now in. She longed for her fallen husband and wept in silence as the group marched south towards the icy wilderness.
They spent the nights in abandoned homes until they had traveled far beyond the outskirts of Blackwater. The campfires of the men and women they left behind flickered along the northward horizon, but after a few days of walking they could no longer be seen. The shores of The Great River were covered in mounds of slush which melted away during the blue skies of the day. The further south they traveled, the larger the slush mounds became, and the longer they remained throughout the day.
The frozen landscape in the south was different than the near lifeless ice fields in the north that Kozz had been accustomed to, especially near the sea. Southern ice pines dotted the landscape like dandelions in a see of white alyssum. Their bare stems extended high into the air where pliable branches spread wide with their hair-thin needles, covering the wide areas underneath them like large canopies. Their light and rubbery attributes allowed the snow to slip off their branches, creating a crater-like formation of built up snow around their perimeters.
Sheets of ice stretched across the sea's surface, but it was not thick enough for crossing. The group needed to reach the solid glacial ice farther south that would allow them passage across the vast sea. The cold shallow waters were alive with fish of many varieties. Small abandoned docks and marinas lined the water's edge. An expansive flock of gulls swam in the waters and nested on the shore, feeding on the wealth of fish and hatching their young during the warmest season of the year.
Kozz and Richard did not want to bother the wildlife, but Kelly was absolutely obsessed with every little critter she found. At one point she sneaked her way close to the nesting gulls to catch a better look at the freshly hatched nestlings and found herself bombarded by the aggressive adults. She ran away screaming and found refuge in Richard's arms. The angered gulls continued their assault and everyone was forced to run a short ways before the birds stopped attacking.
The southern glacial wall was more striking than they had expected, none having seen it before. The thin ice that stretched across the sea had grown thicker during their journey, but the glacial wall was a staggering blockade of ice that stood twenty feet above their heads and appeared to rise taller like a mountain beyond its face. Not one in the group knew how far east or west it extended, but it at least spanned the width of The Great River and would serve as their passage over the sea.
“Shit,” said Richard, “how the hell are we going to get up that?”
“There,” said Caleb, pointing to a dip in the glacial ice near the edge of the frozen sea. “We might be able to climb that part.”
“There is water pouring out of that dip,” said Luciele. “It's a stream of ice melt.”
“The river ice is thinner near there,” said Kelly. “What if one of us fell in?”
“There might be another way,” said Richard.
“There isn't,” said Kozz. “Look around. There isn't another break in the ice as far as I can see, and we didn't pack any climbing equipment. That stream is our only choice.”
The wall of ice was the beginning of the southern ice cap. On this side of the world it was broken by the warm habitable valleys, but the ice wholly consumed the other uninhabited half of the planet where the south and north ice caps met without interference.
Kozz made the decision to scale the obstacle, and everyone else followed. The stream fell into the sea from a couple of feet above the water’s surface, dropping a small waterfall into the icy water. They had to walk a short way on the sea ice to get to the dip in the glacial wall. The sea ice near the shore was strong enough to hold each person's weight, but the closer they walked to the waterfall the thinner the ice became. Kozz took the lead, and everyone spread out from each other to reduce the strain on the frozen water. They clung to the glacial wall where the ice was at its thickest.
Kozz reached a point where he could see cracks in the ice a few feet away from himself and knew he could move no further. He could not make it over to the lowest point in the ravine without falling into the ice-cold water. The waterfall was still several feet away, but the erosion had been slow and the v-shaped valley was wide with a gentle slope. They were going to have to scale the wall where they were. Kozz reached above his head and could just barely feel the lip of the eroded wall. He felt for something to grip, but there was nothing more than snow and smooth ice. He asked for Richard to pull out his hammer and tent spikes which were thick and specifically designed for the ice that they knew they would be traveling over.
"We really should have thought to grab some climbing gear from that pile of supplies," said Luciele.
"No kidding," replied Kozz. "Dumb mistake on our part."
Kozz raised his frigid hands and hammered a spike into the ice. His first attempt ripped off a chunk of the glacier that fell to his feet and slid off the ice and into the sea. He tried again, his shifting weight causing the cracks below himself to grow longer, and planted a spike deep into the glacier. He stood on his toes and slammed the sharp back end of the hammer into the wall, then he pulled himself up with both arms, his weight sinking the hammer into the ice and bending the tent spike. His feet clamored for something to aid his arms and he found nothing until Luciele walked over and grabbed his feet, pushing him up onto the icy slick surface. Kozz held to his hammer and spike until he gained enough traction on the slippery slope to hold himself. He found several small crevices which gave his feet some friction to hold on to.
Luciele lifted Caleb and Kozz pulled the boy up on top of the sloped wall. Next came Luciele, and then Kelly, and finally Richard. They all managed their way onto the glacial ice and slid down to the bottom of the v-shaped erosion of the stream. The stream was small and not much of a hassle to avoid, but crawling up the other side of the slope was going to be tough.
“What about all the others?” asked Caleb. “How are they gonna get up here? I don't think they are all gonna be able to climb this thing.” His concerned eyes met the exhaustion and sorrow in the eyes of his friends. “What are they gonna do if they can't make it?”
Everyone looked at each other, not knowing what answer to give the child.
Kozz asked Caleb for his knife and Caleb gave it to him. He turned around and crawled back up the ice to where they had all climbed the face. He pulled out another tent spike and used it to help himself climb up a little further, then he pounded the spike into the ice and pulled out a rope from his sack. He hung the rope down to the sea ice below to measure it and cut it off at that length, then he tied the rope to the spike and put the rest back in his pack before sliding down to the others.
“That will help them,” said Kozz. “It's the best we can do. They should have some sort of climbing gear that can help them out, too."
Caleb nodded. “Thank you,” he said to Kozz. It is the best we can do, Caleb thought, and they're just gonna have to do the best they can with it.
Richard handed out spikes to the group. Everyone held one for each hand, except Kozz who gripped the hammer in one. They used the spikes to pull themselves up the slick incline. Fatigue set in as some parts of the slope were slippery and difficult to surmount. Kozz took the lead and used his hammer to tear little divots in the ice where the others could stick their feet in to give their arms a rest. Every two steps forward came with one step back, but they each conquered the arduous climb and heaved for breath when they reached the top of the glacier. To one side they could see the iced over waters of The Great River stretch into the horizon, and on the other side the glacier grew in mass and appeared to have troughs and crests like ocean waves. Kozz slammed another spike into the ice and let down another rope into the eroded valley for those behind them to use. Caleb smiled at this as the group moved away from the edge of the glacier and set up camp on top of the block of ice.
The wind kicked hard throughout the night. Caleb woke up before the sun and had to excuse himself to take care of nature's business. The cold air and blistering winds made it painful to be outside the barrier of his tent. The night sky above him was filled with billions of stars, all vibrant in the clear black sky. Caleb looked out towards the sea and saw that the fog had taken over the lower landscape. In that fog, though, Caleb thought he saw a small light flicker, something brightening up the fog in the far distance. The wind howled with a fury and blew cold flecks of snow at Caleb's back, pushing him in the direction of the faint light. “Come back to bed,” his mother yelled over the wind. I hope they make it, thought Caleb. He turned around and went back into his tent for the night.
The following days were war against exhaustion and frost bite. Everyone consumed more food than they were accustomed to, using the energy to heat their bodies and move their feet forward one step at a time. It felt as if for days they were slowly making their way uphill, trudging through drifts of snow, their feet aching from stepping on the hard, uneven ice. If there was anywhere we would be safe from the demons it would be here on top of this glacier, thought Kozz, but we would never be able to survive long enough to wait it all out.
Days passed before they were traveling on a noticeable down slope. A blizzard of stinging snow pelted them from every direction, the wind whipping the frost around in cyclones. Only after a long journey downhill did the wind let up, allowing the snow to drift lightly to the ground and land in loosely packed fluff. Before they knew it they were walking on the earth again, the snow drifts blurring the line between the glacier and the permafrost they were now standing on. They never saw where they had left The Great River behind, but it was now far out of their sights.
Plowing through the piles of snow, they pushed onward with their eyes glazed over. The energy had been zapped from their bodies by what felt like an eternity of frigid travel. They turned northward after leaving the glacier behind and eventually found an abandoned home where they spent a couple of nights resting and recovering from their journey.