I stopped going to the barber to get my hair cut years ago; the closest one is five blocks away, and in time that became too far to walk, even before the banister on the staircase was broken. But what hair I have I can cut myself, and do, I want to be able to look in the mirror without feeling too depressed. I pluck long nasal hairs too.
But one day, less than a year ago, when, for reasons I won’t go into, I was feeling particularly lonely, I landed on the idea of going to get my hair cut, even though it was actually short enough. I did try to talk myself out of it, it’s too far to walk, I told myself, you don’t have the legs for it, it’ll take you at least three quarters of an hour each way. But it was no use. So what if it does? I replied. I’ve plenty of time, time is the one thing I have too much of.
So I got dressed and went out. I wasn’t exaggerating, it took a long time, I’ve never heard of anyone who walks as slowly as I do, it’s a nuisance, I’d rather be a deaf-mute, what’s the good in hearing after all? And why speak, who’s listening, and is there anything left to say? Well, yes, I suppose there are things left to say, but who’s listening?
Eventually I got there. I opened the door and went in. Oh, how the world has changed. Everything inside was different, only the master barber was the same. I greeted him but he didn’t recognize me. It was disappointing but of course I didn’t let it show. There were no empty seats. Three men were being shaved or having their hair cut, and another four were waiting, and there was nowhere to sit. I was so tired, but no one got up – the ones waiting were too young, they didn’t know what it meant to be old. So I turned toward the window and looked out at the street, pretending that was what I actually wanted to do, so no one would feel sorry for me. Politeness I’ll accept but you can save sympathy for animals. All too often I’ve noticed young people – actually, it’s been a while since I have, but has the world become more humane? – all too often, I’ve noticed young people stepping over helpless people lying on the pavement without uttering a word but no sooner do they set eyes on an injured cat or dog than their hearts overflow. Poor doggy, they say, or poor little kitty, have you hurt yourself? Oh, there are so many animal lovers!
Fortunately, I didn’t need to stand for more than five minutes, and it was a relief to sit down. However nobody spoke. In the old days both the wider world and matters closer to home were drawn into the barber’s, now there was just silence; I’d walked for nothing, there was no longer any world people wanted to talk about. So after a while I stood up and left. After all, what was the point? My hair was short enough. And I’d saved some money, probably a fair few kroners. So I walked the several thousand small steps home. Oh, the world is changing, I thought. And silence is spreading. It’s time to die.